A/N: Sorry to take so long. I'm going to my high school prom tomorrow and I've been really busy getting ready for it. Anyway, here's the next installment of Hysterical Window Washing. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: Nothing's changed since Monday. I still do not own any of the previously mentioned articles.
When Mrs. Lovett entered the shop, she found Mr. Todd sitting on his cot in the corner. "Ello love!" she said cheerily, "I've come to wash that window."
Sweeney simply nodded and Mrs. Lovett's spirits sank. 'E's in one of 'is moods, she thought, Oh well, I'd better wash the window anyway. Did I really think 'e was going to jump up and 'elp me?
Lugging the heavy bucket of water to the window, she surveyed the damage. Mr. Todd had been right, it was rather dirty. Mrs. Lovett dipped a rag into the water, wrung it out, and began to scrub. She soon realized that there was no possible way she was going to reach the top sixteen inches of the window no matter how far she reached or how high she stood on her toes. She glanced over at Sweeney who was watching her work. "Mr. Todd," she said, "Could you possibly help me? I can't reach the top of the window."
Much to Mrs. Lovett's surprise, Mr. Todd got up from where he was seated and walked over to the window. Looking up at the top he said, "I can try, but I'm not sure I can reach it either." He grabbed a rag out of the bucket and stretched his arm. He couldn't reach it. Grunting, he stood on his toes and reached again. He still could not get to the top. Mrs. Lovett put her hands on her hips. "Well, that's not good." she said, "What do you suggest we do?"
Sweeney rolled his eyes. "How am I to know?" he asked, "I thought you were the one who came up with all the ideas."
"Well I would 'ave said to use the chair," snapped Mrs. Lovett, "But it's bolted to the floor. And besides, it's your turn to come up with something."
"Since when do we 'take turns', Mrs. Lovett?" asked Sweeney, amused that she was so flustered over something as trivial as washing a window.
Mrs. Lovett thought for a minute. "Alright," she said, "So we don't take turns. But I still think you should try to help me solve this problem!"
Sighing, Sweeney handed his rag to her. He really didn't want to do this, but it was the only solution he could think of. "Hold on," he said, and picked up Mrs. Lovett by the legs.
"What the bloody hell do ya think you're doing Mr. T?" shouted Mrs. Lovett.
"Just wash the window!" grunted Sweeney, trying to get a better grip, "And stop squirming! I don't want to drop you."
"Don't you dare!" shrieked Mrs. Lovett, "Don't you dare drop me!"
"Then hold still and hurry it up!" shouted Sweeney, still struggling to hold her better.
Lifting up her rag, Mrs. Lovett cautiously began to wash the top of the window. She had almost finished when she saw it. A huge, black, hairy spider was at the corner of the window.
Now, Mrs. Lovett was not afraid of many things. She didn't get squeamish at the sight of blood (she butchered people for a living for goodness sake!) she was comfortable around rats (good thing too, since they infested the sewers below the bakehouse) and she could pick up toads as if they were simply flowers on the ground (this was also good, because Toby was always bringing them home). But when it came to spiders, Mrs. Lovett was scared. No, terrified was a better word to describe it. She could not stand to be within a five foot radius of them.
So naturally, when she saw the spider in the window, she screamed and dropped her rag. Unfortunately, the rag landed on Sweeney's face.
"GAHH!" he shouted, lifting one hand to rip it off. Mrs. Lovett flailed about causing Sweeney to stumble. He managed to tear the rag off, but, tripped over the leg of the chair and fell, letting go of Mrs. Lovett in the process.
She tumbled down and landed on her already sore rear. Mr. Todd fell waving his arms around in the air, knocked over the bucket and landed on top of Mrs. Lovett, who was now soaked.
They both lay there for a moment, trying to catch their breath. Then, Sweeney pulled himself off of Mrs. Lovett, wincing. "What exactly happened up there, Mrs. Lovett," he asked in a cold voice.
Mrs. Lovett dropped her eyes. "Well, I..." she mumbled, "You see I.... what I mean to say is that...."
"Spit it out!" exclaimed an impatient Mr. Todd
"I saw a spider." said Mrs. Lovett in a small voice, "A really big one. And I got scared."
"You saw a spider," said Sweeney slowly, "So you decided to throw your rag on my head and scream and writhe like an animal?"
"I'm sorry?" offered Mrs. Lovett, who was beginning to get nervous. Cringing, she began to stand up. Her back hurt. Sweeney found himself filling up with concern for her, against his will. He reached out, and pulled her fully to her feet. "It's alright," he said, "Just don't expect me to do that again."
Mrs. Lovett smiled. "You weren't the one who fell four feet to the ground!" She began to giggle. Her giggling soon turned into laughter.
"It's not funny Mrs. Lovett." said Sweeney seriously.
"Oh yes it is!" she exclaimed, "Didn't you hear yourself yell?" She doubled over, laughing even harder.
"Well at least I wasn't the one who shrieked all because of a silly little spider!" Sweeney said, hotly, "I had to hold you up. It's a wonder you didn't fall out the window!"
Mrs. Lovett's eyes widened and she stopped laughing. "I didn't think about that." she gasped, "That would 'ave been simply terrible! Can you imagine what the people on the street would think? To see a woman come flying out a window?" She began to laugh again.
Sweeney took hold of her shoulders. "Would you take control of yourself?" he shouted, fighting the urge to laugh himself.
"Ca...ca..can't!" she panted, "I can't Mr. T!" She gripped her stomach and tried to stop laughing, but she couldn't.
She plopped back down on the wet barbershop floor and continued to laugh hysterically.
Her laughter was so contagious that Sweeney found himself chuckling along. Soon he joined Mrs. Lovett on the floor, laughing uncontrollably.
A/N: What did you guys think? I hope I didn't ruin it. I figured that, Sweeney has a lot of built up stress, and he needed a way to vent it like a normal person, not through murder. Tell me what you think. You had better review. I have Sweeney tied up in my closet and I'm not letting him out unless you review this story. Mwahahaha!!!