SO SOME PEOPLE REALLY WANT ME TO CONTINUE THIS, IDK HOW TO CONTINUE, BUT ILL TRY MY HARDEST!
I was so mad at myself, Eli was mad at himself for hurting me, even though it was JUST A DREAM! But that little voice in the back of my head whispered "Yeah a dream about something that really happened" I got mad, no he got help A LONG TIME AGO! His therapist said he was better, said he wouldn't relapse and hurt me again. And even Eli said, "I'm so happy you didn't give up on me. I promise I'll NEVER hurt you again. I would rather kill myself." he had said, I honestly think that's why my dream ends the way it does, with me giving up on him, AND me killing MYSELF. Yes Eli had hurt me, bad. I ended up in the hospital. He felt guilty or whatever and told them what happened, they got him help and things got better. But for a few weeks now I have been having the same dream over and over again. It makes me wonder if it's a bad sign sometimes, but that thought always goes away as soon as Eli's lips are on mine, his hands roaming my body, feeling the scars he had created, apologizing for each one and kissing it. I know he loves me. He was just messed up for while. Sometimes I catch him crying or mumbling to himself, he feels guilty. I feel so hopeless sometimes trying to convince him that he couldn't help it, he was sick. That I'm not mad and that I don't regret being with him. I know I'm fighting a losing battle. He hates himself. Sometimes I wish I could hate him, but I cant. I don't know anything about life, but I know its not supposed to be lived like this.
I KNOW ITS SHORT BUT I COULDNT THINK OF ANYTHING TO SAY... I'LL TRY TO MAKE THE NEXT CHAPTER LONGER, LOVE YOU GUYS!