The Odd Couple - a Kuroshitsuji fanfic

A/N: Yeh-yeah! The next chapter is here!

This chapter is more about getting in depth of the story, and what the hell is happening in the first place XD It's a little longer than the other chapters, and the next chapter won't be this long 0.o

And now a shout to my supporters:

bladion13

OtakuMomokoHime

Earl Yumi Trancy

Lizzy139

diamondkat

Trinity Phantomhive

Night Elric

blacklily25

And a special shout to critics and my tutor:

Dobe Fox for your critiques :D

Dani-of-the-Dark, my English tutor :3 thanks for the assistance, lord KNOWS I need it -_-'

This chapter is a little more involved, and where other weird things begins...

Into the reading we go!

Chapter IV: Baby Daddy...

Well, how is the patient?

Ah sooo wonderful... my favorite cookies!

Successful... we may need one more sample of the toe nails though...

*groans* isn't there a potty somewhere?... Maybe I can use your hat instead?

Yes, do whatever is necessary...

Chopped liver and onions? In the victim's hair?

*sigh* will you please stop leaving your nostrils on the dinning table?

Asparagus...

Huh?...

?...

Could someone pass the salt?...

No, no, no... I said I needed mustard on my penis, not my wiener...

Yes my friend, these were the twisted thoughts that permeated the current drugged up mind, along with an underworld grade of darkness, severe abdominal pain, and a world class series of professional farts. Soon though, the mind becomes conscious, conscious enough to open dual green irises from the depths of darkness into harsh, blinding nuclear fission light, making a face wince so hard, we hope our minds will never even imagine it. These eyes are already very weak, but now... -_-' However, though the eyes are blurred, they can see... what looks like Pillsbury Dough Boys in spaceman wear, and one stereotypical corporate CEO, the size of toothpicks *weight wise of course...*. The corporate toothpicks were yelling at a medical dough boy, just in time for them to realize those waking eyes... have awaken!

"Oh no!" cries the CEO of the toothpick industries, "he's awake, he can't see me can he?" "Relax," assures a medical dough boy, thaaaat, kinda sounds like a woman now thinking about it, "it's okay sir, I-I mean ma'am, I'm mean- whatever... Dr. Jekyll, your patient is waking again, hand me the anesthetic..."

The green eyes shoot waaaaay open, though still was hangin' up in the clouds somewhere. "Wh-where, where am I?" the poor wittle green eyes cry in fear. "Just relax dear, you'll awake soon from this, uuuh... you're just having another nightmare" says the dough boy, girl, whatever the hell it's supposed to be, to the patient... Right there, a mallet is seen... a large mallet... Before there could be any protests *KAPOW!* the next thing the green eyes see, is darkness. But this time, it was graffitied with billions and billions, and even one more billions of stars... The CEO of toothpicks adjusts his glasses in an annoyed fashion, "I thought the Aurora Society had better technologies than using mallet anesthetics", Dr. Jekyll just shakes his head, "oh you mean anesthetics through syringes? Puh-leeeze, that technique won't be invented until at least the next 70 years from this date"... *facepalm moment*

"AGHWAHHH... AIK-LRYARGH... ITH... RWLVAPAPAPAGGGLH!..." goes such an ugly sound... a sound so ugly, it wakes Lau in a fright, causing him to shoot out of his roll out bed, onto a wall and bouncing off another one then another until *KLING!* his head ran straight for the jail bars... stuck between the jail bars. The ugly sound gurgled ugily again, sounding sooo ugly, even our void of soul Earl of Phantomhive awakes with emotion on his face... a WTF emotion that is...

Ciel gets up with a murderous growl for having to sleep in a jail cell, on a cold, single sheet, prison issued sleeping cot. He gets up to investigate where the hell that irritatingly ugly sound was coming from, not noticing Lau was yelling about his head being stuck between jail bars. It didn't take but one look for Ciel to find the noise was coming from... yeeeah, Sebastian. His butler seemed to be in grave pain. He was kneeling before a busted up toilet, that hadn't been cleaned since the 14th century, vomiting what looked like past meals that should have been loooong gone now.

"Se-Sebastian?" Ciel runs up to ailing butler with worry... that was, until the strooong odor of demon vomit whips around our 13yr old earl's nose. "Goddammit Sebastian! What the bloody hell have you been eating?" *wheeeeeeze* starts a very weary demon butler. He was sooo sick, he looked like a third grader could kick his ass right now. "M-my lord..." Sebastian's voice was shuddering and wheezy. "Sebastian, what's wrong? You're sick again, vomiting and... you have a fever too..." Ciel says while feeling Sebastian's forehead and trying to hold his nose at the same time. Ciel sighs roughly, and decides to help Sebastian back to his cot.

Lau, on the other hand... or head in his case, was struggling with his own issues. A guard then comes walking down their cell isle, whistling a horrific tune he knew very well was an annoyance to the prisoners. But for Lau, this man was an angel sent from heaven. "Uh, pardon me most honorable jail guard, here to keep us prisoners in line..." starts a Lau in "kiss butt" mode, "a thousand pardons but, can you help get my head out of these bars, they are the only uncomfortable thing about our cell" The jail guard thinks about it; how funny to keep returning to a head stuck in the jail bars, a nice target for practice with his nightstick... buuuut, such behavior miiiiight get him in a little bit of trouble, sooo...

"No problem, mate!" the guard chuckles deviously, as he raises his foot to the level of Lau's head. "Oh many, many thanks honorable jail guard, I- *gasp!* Wait, wait...!" The next thing Lau has coming for him is a giant foot thrusting at light speed atop his head, kicking him all the way to the other side of the jail cell. "AHMAHAMAHAMMMMMAHGH!" "You're welcome, matey! *evil chuckle*" The guard leaves feeling very satisfied with his handiwork on the prisoner. Lau however, was grumbling some very strong ancient Chinese profanity over having being kicked in the head all the way to the other side of the room, just to have his head stuck in the window bars.

Ciel, still ignoring the plights of the magnetic attraction between Lau's head and jail bars, was beside his sick butler in bed. His mind was on what could have made Sebastian so sick recently, having trouble with nausea, fever, head and back aches, some other symptoms he or I can't remember at this particular moment...

"THAT WAS THE GREATEST PARTY EVER!" shouts an extremely satisfied, self indulged Prince Soma. It appeared that the bratty royal of India arrived at the Phantomhive manor, just as our bratty English Earl of Phantomhive protested. Soma had made himself at home a bit too... okay, he down right invaded the Phantomhive Manor, "enslaved" the Phantomhive servants, let in every girl on the block, and made it a subsidiary kingdom of his own.

"What's the cum fuckin' deal with this bastard?" goes a our favorite potty mouth, bad excuse of a chef, Bardroy. Maylene tries shutting his big mouth "SHHHH! You want him to hear you?" "YOU GODDAMN RIGHT I WANT HIM TO HERE ME, HOUSE BITCH-!" Before Bard could finish insulting everyone's ears with his sailor mouth, Maylene punched the day light and night light out of him, all with her strength of a US Marine. "What did I tell you about that language of yours? And you misspelled 'hear' too!... idiot"

"Where's my curry?" the Indian brat- *clears throat* uh, I meant prince yells, "That 2 bit cook knows nothing about the science of preparing curry in goat or chicken... slave!" "Yes Prince Soma Asman Kadar!" shouts the attentive happy slave Agni, "tell that American son of a bitch, poor excuse of a lowly cook if I don't have my curry this 14th time, it's OFF WITH HIS HEAD!" "Yes Prince Soma!" Agni then scurries off to the man who got his ass bitch-slapped into clouds.

"Well, I didn't tell you to stop dancing for me... continue!" Soma shouts at the scrawny blonde gardener and the stumpy old Al Sharpto- I mean Japanese butler of Phantomhive. Finnian and Tanaka were dressed in some kind of ridiculous Bollywood style slut clothes, trying to perform a belly dance for the self indulged Aladdin's look-a-like... They were doing an awful job as you could guess.

"So Ms. Hilton... like, how was your date with *fangirl sigh*, Chief Spears? We're all dying to know what happened!..." Hilton glares the teenybopper reaper in question, who was batting the phony eyelashes making her eyes resemble black widow spiders. She was grinning, giggling, and what not as Hilton was filing some newly assorted assignments. The girl was of very young age, she had brunette short curled hair with a pair of ladybug bows pinning either side of her hair back near her ears. Along with usual female reaper uniform, she also wore ladybug stud earrings, ladybug bracelets, ladybug necklace, ladybug rings, and... a ladybug bellybutton piercing. She even wore shoes with her toes out to display her ladybug toe rings (yes, more than on one toe -_-').

The room was full of lady reapers... *clears throat* the room was full of 'bishie of the week' fangirl reapers, whom which Hilton lives to venomously detest on a regular basis. She was one way too sophisticated for conversing or arguing about who's the hot bishie of the week. And this week, had to be William T Spears week. "There is nothing to discuss Reaper Fulton. We were discussing the SBP program, and that's all..." "Are you like, gonna totally breed with him?" asks the annoying young adult, causing all the other women an epic-nosebleed at just the mere thought. "Oh absolutely that devil man better not touch my fair diva!..."

Everyone turns to see... a blue torpedo flying at light speed towards Hilton with... a drooling smile?... Unlike you poor readers not knowing what the hell is going on in this sentence, the lady reapers knew all too well what that was. They ran out the way as if a bomb was detonated, while Hilton watches with a steady eye, and moves in time for the torpedo to crash into the wall, creating a nuclear devastation of assignments flying about. Hilton looks down at the bombshell, that is in fact... a reaper... a female reaper...

"It's no wonder our squadron is given so much overtime and so little respect... Reaper Olson" hisses Hilton calmly but in severe annoyance. "Harry baby!" The woman in blue jumps to her knees with a bright... erm, wide, crazed grin, decorated with a few broken teeth, swollen cheek, and a busted nose. She was a blond lady who kept her hair short like a man with a part on one side, and had a few long strands to frame her face. She only wore a blue men's uniform, neck tie, dress shoes and pants, NEVER daring to even look at make up, or jewelry... except for the men's watch she did wear. She even had her shirt open to show off the phony hair she glued on her cleavage *gross*... (yeah, yeah you get it, another crazed, masochistic gay reaper... what's with Shinigamis and doofus transvestites in love with their soulless death god bosses?)

Hilton adjusts her specs as she summons a book, "Attention Reaper Greta Olson, you have once again managed to breach the following rules of conduct:
Today marks the 4th time you missed reporting for duty, this week.

Trespassing unauthorized and restricted offices and levels of the Library.

There are 3 reports of you taking bribes of souls not scheduled for death.

You have been involved with several assassinations this past week.

And you have been sighted for enlisting the SBP program using false personal information. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera...

"Oh my foxy Harry babe you," Greta starts, 'Harry' referring to Hilton's first name 'Harriet' -_-||, "I do what I do out of love for my-UGHSONROGF!" Hilton at rapid speed shoves the point of her clippers into Greta's nose, the impact sending 14,582 of her funky and phony chest hairs into our faces. Harriet glares harsh enough to scare Hulk Hogan shitless "You are currently on probation as of now, and if I receive another report of violation, you will be suspended... again..." Hilton then snatches her clippers away, praying this would be the day she'd rip her nostril off.

"OOOOOOOH My dear Harry!" starts the masochistic fanatic whom we learned is Greta, "men like me find coldblooded girls so DAYUMN sexy... Why would you ladies seek that cheap knock of a man Spears, when you can have ME! *dizzy, toothless grin*", "Did someone call my name?..." starts a quite perturbed voice, entering an office filled with... William T Spears fangirls.

"!" goes ear drum bursting squeals in unison. The girls faint in the presence of this week's Death God of Hot Smex... in other words, what Greta dreams of being. Hilton looks up at William, blushing some. She didn't want him to think she lead a squadron of psychopathic bishie enthusiasts. In secret, Hilton had always admired William and wanted to impress him with her since of devotion to duty.

William keeps his straight face, as the girls sit up from fatally explosive nosebleeds. "Morning reapers," he says deliberately suavely (for Hilton's sake), "!" goes the squeals loud enough to deafen a protozoan, sending the girls into round two of life-threatening nosebleeds (I mean Will is an nice looking guy but he's nothin' too special to me... that could be because I'm a guy, so...) Greta jumps to her feet, ready to flare up at the chief death god, only to run her face into his extended pruner scythe, punching her own mother-wits out. "K-K-Keep... your... h-hands... off-ff-ff-mi... off my g-girl..." Says a very jealous man-wannabe, before falling to the floor.

"I deeply apologize for the complications caused by this" Hilton says to William with a small bow, this meaning Greta, "I understand very well, we share similar issues I see. Now for more important business" William starts, "Reaper Hilton, our meeting last night was shortened due to some unforeseen events last night. I'd like to reschedule for tonight... at 10pm..." Hiliton was blushing more, but remained her calm. "Allow me to help with this..." William collects Hilton's paper from the floor and hands it back, like a polite gentlemen. Hilton's heart skipped a few beats, and takes her work back with a nod. William leaves finally, followed by another round of ear bursting fangirl screams from the lady reapers.

"Did you see how he said 'Allow me to help with this'?" "NO! it's how soft his eyes were looking at Ms. Hilton!" "Naw girls, it was him whipping out his sexy scythe on Olson!" "I don't care what it was, EVERY part of that man is sooooooooo sexy!"

Hilton quickly leaves the mad house, slamming the door shut. After a deep breath, she began walking to her next destination, back to her straight and cold faced manor.

Meanwhile in the London county, state, province, or whatever-the-fuck-they-have-or-had-then, jail...

Ciel was pacing the floors with red hangover eyes... well, eye, while Lau was playing a game of yank-your-head-out-of-the-window-bars-without-snapping-your-neck. Ciel would pace the floor anxiously for 47 minutes, run up to the jail bars anticipating the jail guard for 34 minutes, then sit in a corner, his belly growling so much, that the rats and cock roaches infesting the joint began to look rather tasty and juicy to him. Then after struggling 66 minutes against the urge of eating cock roaches for breakfast, Ciel would run over to the sick Sebastian in bed and pretend to show him some love and compassion for 63 minutes, and then go back pacing the floor for another 47 minutes. This went on for 5 1/4 rounds.

Finally on the 1/4 of what would be a sixth round of that nonsense, the guard with the infernal whistle comes by, just in time for our 19th century Chinese drug dealer to pop his head out of the window bars and onto the floor. Ciel runs up to the barred door, trampling over Lau's miserable sore head, yelling at the guard, "Listen! I want my call to the Phantomhive Manor! I need to speak with one of my servants at once! I'm not a murderer! I'm the Earl of Phantomhiiiiiiiiiiiive!"

The guard looks for a moment... then laughs. He drags his feet up to the jail bars with a drunk grin. "Look at you, ya' pitiful pathetic little bastard maggot!" the drunkard calling himself a guard starts, "what can you do, eh?" "WHAT?" goes an uncharacteristically angry Ciel, who's voice is starting to get hoarse from screaming. "LET ME CALL MY MANOR, SO MY SERVANTS CAN IDENTIFY MEEEEE! DO IT NOW, BEFORE I SUMMON MY BUTLER ON YOU!" The guard looks at sore head Lau, thinking that he was the butler. "You think squinty is going to save your ass, punk?" the guard laughs, "No HE is!" Ciel screams pointing at Sebastian, who's passionately hugging a waste basket, while vomiting his heart and soul into it.

This causes the guard to laugh almost like Undertaker, as it quakes the other cells. He had no words for this one. Ciel was outraged, and screams to the hilt of his lungs, "SEBASTIAN MICHAELIS! I ORDER YOU TO BREAK US FREE SO I CAN MAKE MY PHONE CAAAAALLL!" Sebastian slowly looks up at Ciel quite pitifully. This is so embarrassing for a demon of his caliber, but he had a good reason to be sick as, he really wasn't sick technically. He pulls himself up some and crawls to Ciel's feet, the look on his face is quite pleading. "Maasst-st...mast-eer" croaks a very weak butler, "I apologize, bu-but... I've been trying to tell you-" "SEBASTIAN GET UP NOW!" Ciel screams in a hoarse voice sounding a bit monstrous for a wittle kid. He stumps his foot onto Sebastian's chest making him wince a bit, while screaming for him to get up.

The guard is laughing up some severe thunderstorms, hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes and some other natural disasters I can't think up at this moment. But, then comes a convenient janitorial maid seeing the incident. By the time she had arrived, Ciel was kneeling beside Sebastian, and it looked like the guard did something cruel to the prisoners. The guard's laughter was interrupted as he was bashed in the head with a broom. "Why you brute! You monster! Abusing these poor prisoners and, OMG! a little child is in there!" cries the over weight maid, "He's the prime suspect for murder..." the guard yells in his defense, only to get bashed again. "You poor dear, is there anything I could do-?" "Yes..." hisses what sounds like a baby pterodactyl, which was actually Ciel's new hoarse voice. "Let me have my phone call... that's all"

"Y-Yes no problem... Let me help ya here..." The maid unlocks Ciel and lets him out to speak on the phone. Ciel is taken to that place where prisoners make phone calls *whatever its called*. Ciel stumps there tired and angry, he sits angry, he dials the phone angry, and even puts it to his ear as angry as possible.

The phone rings at the Phantomhive, Tanaka was taking a break from his poorly executed belly dancing to sip tea. He answers the phone "ho ho ho", then a scaly alligator speaks on the other line "OARONOGHSDOF-" "HOHOHO!" the poor wittle Tanaka, dressed in the Bollywood slut outfit, runs behind the sofa, quivering. He points to the telephone as if a monster. Finnian saw this and answers the phone next, "Phantomhive manor" then the creepy pterodactyl speaks again, scaring our gardener shitless, "OARONOGHSDOF-" "AHHHHHHHH! ALLIGATOR MONSTER!" Finnian runs and joins Tanaka's quivering little head behind the sofa... A Meyrin, Bard, Prince Soma and an Agni later, the phone was left hanging while six quivering heads were eying it from behind the sofa, fearing said alligator/boogey-man/zombie/man-eating hellbeast on the other line.

Ciel hangs up... angrily. The maid was nice though, "I'll take you to the chief of police, and maybe you could square a deal" Ciel does so, and after several hours of numerous details too complicated to enumerate on for this fic, Ciel talks... erm, bribes the police chief into letting him, Lau and Sebastian go, under the condition that they find the supposed killer of Eugene Fehr. Ciel returns to his jail cell, his throat so sore and voice so deformed for from screaming so much. He sees Lau besides Sebastian with a very happy expression on his face. Ciel decides to sneak up, so he could eavesdrop a little.

"This is happy news to me" starts the pervy tea trader, "and this all explains the Earl's luck then..." "My apologies, though I tried, I simply can't inform my master of this eh, occurrence... this is quite embarrassing for a demon of my pedigree..." says the weak butler, but the man besides him just chuckles, "but now your master can never deny you of anything, until... y'know..."... "What are you talking about?" says the creature from the dark lagoon. Such soul ripping, rugged voice shutters enough fear to cause the Chinese drug dealer, and the demon butler to jump in fear... only to see, it's just a boy... a Ciel at that. "What are you two looking at?" says our laryngitic adolescent. "Let's go while we can..." "But young Earl, your butler is sick with a condition..." Lau adds, "well" says Ciel, his wittle throat so sore and hoarse, "if he wants a warm bed of fine linen in an elegant mansion to sleep his sickness off, versus a cheap government issued cot in a rat and roach infested dungeon, then he'll walk his ass to my manor... without a problem..."

Ciel was now walking back to his manor, on his sore, achy, flat feet. But at least he was just carrying his own weight. Ciel made Lau carry Sebastian on his back, since Sebastian was too sick to walk... or talk... or move... or, ya'know, and Ciel knew far too well he couldn't do anything without his trusty butler. No sireeee! He couldn't dress without his butler, he couldn't brush his teeth without his butler, he couldn't tolerate the inferno known as the "Phantomhive House members" without his butler, Ciel couldn't even go to the bathroom and shit, without his butler *yes I know that's gross, but it's true*.

Ciel treks the streets of London in shamefully tattered clothes, decorated with jail grime and soot. Lau follows with the ailing butler on his back, the two were also in the same condition of the young earl. The strong aroma and of jail cell essence followed the trio, chasing away people, horses, children, cats, dogs, rats, hobos, cut throats, bears, pigs, flies, you name it. None of this really mattered. All that did was getting to the Phantomhive Manor, and if the slightest thing was caught out of place, killing every ass at the manor would be the second priority. Ciel had never possessed will like this before. This little bugger was like a man on a mission from God.

Lau happily carries the heavy 6ft demon on his back, all due to common Chinese superstitions about offending someone in Sebastian's condition.

They arrive at the Phantomhive's. Everyone, including us, are glad to see the Phantomhive Mansion gates. Strangely they were left open, but it doesn't matter to this trio. They run up to the front door, hearing something like an elephant with stomach ache and diarrhea. "What the bloody hell?" goes our once dignified Earl, who's IQ been been dropping since the paddy wagon episode. He and Lau peeks into the window, and nearly died of extreme gastrointestinal disruption (clinical terminology for massive farting). They saw Soma sprawled out on Ciel's elegant Edwardian sofa, eating curry, surrounded by homely, half naked, girls in some Bollywood belly dancing uniforms. Agni was in a corner somewhere, not sure where, being a one man Indian music band, accounting for that elephant with diarrhea we heard earlier.

"Why the bloody nerve of that son of a- *deep breath* I spend ONE night away from my mansion, and Soma comes along and manages to turn it into a whorehouse...! With UGLY whores at that!" fretting the incredibly angered Earl, his eye starting up the twitching again. Ciel calmly searches his pockets for his keys, "You just wait until I get my hands on that... wait a minute" "Is something troubling you, young Earl?" Ciel glares him with his twitching irately eye, then hisses with his alligator voice "the keys... I left my keys at the jail..." Lau had a pleading look on his face, he just carried Sebastian's big ol' heavy ass all the way to the mansion.

"Oh young Master Phantomhive..." quakes the voice of a very scared Chinese, "Uh, I suppose we should go back and-" "What do you mean we?" Ciel's cold, sadistic nature was coming back, "you want a place to stay am I right? Then YOU go back and retrieve my keys. Unless you wish to lie on the grass..." "Sebastian..." says Lau, but Sebastian deliberately doesn't wake. "Sebastian please, I must retrieve the keys for your master..." Sebastian has a shadow of a smile on his face as he never wakes up.

Lau ran all the way back to jail, while Sebastian was piggy backing him, stands in one hell of a long line out the door, deals with the incredibly rude and uncooperative clerks and police, finally retrieves Ciel's keys and heads back. Half way on the road, Lau starts crawling on all fours from exhaustion with Sebastian on his back still. Everyone around were either "Laughing Out Loud", "Rolling On the Floor Laughing", or "Laughing their Asses Off". Even their asses were laughing at this sight.

Lau returns on all fours, panting to death then handing Ciel the keys. Ciel ungratefully snatches them and opens his front door. EVERYONE freezes at the sight of this flaming titan coming to purge his mansion of motherfucking idiots. "SOMA..." Everyone jumps back, hearing Ciel's hoarse, laryngitic voice, sounding like the monster in your closet. "Namaste my little Earl of England! C-Come join me in s-some curry and drin-drinks!" Soma stammers, honestly trying to act as if nothing's wrong. Though Ciel's IQ had dropped a few bars, he wasn't that stupid. Something savage turns in the young Earl as he roars and pounces Soma, scratching and socking the prince, hoping leave some scratches, bruised lip or eyes, and prayerfully knock some teeth out.

"SOARNERFODGNDSF please I can explain! AAAAAAAAAHHH not the face!" Soma cries, getting his ass pummeled by the roaring adolescent. Agni steps in to defend his prince, only for Ciel to grab a random sitar and knock Agni to Kingdom Come. Ciel jumps off, ready to yell at the whores of Soma's "party". "GET OUT OF MY MANSION NOW!" his T-rex voice yells as one of the whores sips his tea, with a "ho ho ho". Ciel stares a minute, realizing the Phantomhive servants werethe whores. Ciel had been through enough to lose his mind and go violent... but instead, he looks up, and starts chuckling... he shockingly chuckles at the sight of this. It's scaring the shit out of everyone right now. But Ciel decided that wasn't bad enough, his chuckling evolves into hysterical ROFL LMAO type of laughter.

Lau drags his tired butt in with the heavy butler on his back, and drops him onto a chair. "I am glad to see young master is content with the issues in hand" goes the Confucius wannabe, "maybe now you could-" "I'm laughing because, that, is funny!" Ciel says pointing to his servants. Everyone was dressed in those bellydancing slut clothes, Maylene, Finnian... even Bard. Can you just picture Bard wearing some ornamental silky pink panties and bra, with a sari and belly dancing? The minute you picture that, you will understand Ciel's maniacal laughter. Everyone laughs at this situation as well, except Bard, who curses demonic profanity and rips off the uniform -_- and mistakenly becomes nude. Everyone laughs even harder; Ciel had never felt... better.

"Well I believe I'm too cracked up to be irate any longer the rest of this evening" Ciel says, for the first time smiling. "Very good" Lau starts, "Because-" "Sebastian" Ciel interrupts, "clean this mess at once, prepare the guestrooms for the guests and fix dinner... oh and bring me some tea, I'm thirsty now..." "That's what I need talk about" Lau starts again, "Mr. Michaelis will not be able to service you for a period, and ancient wisdom would say forcing him to do so in his current condition will cause more bad luck" "What do you mean?" Ciel asks, that quickly, he was getting irate again. "Ah yes, Sebastian, you tell him... before I do..."

Sebastian gulps at Lau's words. He weakly stands, monster size butterfiles were in his stomach as he is ready to break the news. "My young master, I was trying to tell you uh... *blushing* a "little" visitor is coming to stay with us soon... uh, since that night you and I were together, we-" "OUT WITH IT!" Ciel screams, his eye and lip start a twitching waltz. Sebastian freezes, "Well master, I- I'm expecting a visitor to come by, some time from now..." Everyone's jaws starts dropping wide open. Your jaw is now dropping wide open... MY jaw is now dropping wide open...

Sebastian takes a breath, and opens his mouth, right as Lau jumps and says with a devious chuckle, "he's pregnant..." Everyone gives a slight chuckle, while staring wide eyed and aimlessly at Sebastian and Ciel. "Congratulations you two," Lau starts with sarcastic, mocking tone, "now be sure to be kind and serve your expectant wife well, unless you want to be cursed, like you have been these past few days...". Ciel, looks with a straight face. He couldn't think about anything, he couldn't feel anything, and everything he said about not being irate the rest of the night, goes out the window. He was sooooo outraged, the only response he had was not yelling, nor throwing a tantrum... just simply falling backwards, flat on his back, out cold.

Okay this is like a filler chapter for me and the next chapter is better to me... whatever. Anyway, tell me what ya' think, I love your past reviews, and I'll love even more feedback. Trust me, I read your reviews over, and over for hours. They keep me going :D

Poor Ciel, what a rough time, and for it all to end with him learning, he's Sebastian's baby daddy X"D that means... SEBASTIAN'S CIEL'S BABY MAMMA :O That's like 8D

Oh and please visit the other story in development as I'm updating it soon, "The Night Tears Fall"

Anyway thanks for your support, it encourages me to do more for everyone!

~Pe4C3!