Will went home that night feeling awful. He knew that he had hurt Louisa, which is the last thing that he would have ever wanted, and all of it was for nothing. The date was terrible, and he felt a bit bad about that as well. It wasn't Alicia's fault that his heart was already invested in someone else. He shouldn't have even taken her out in the first place. She was nice enough, and he probably would have been into her, had he not met Louisa, but he felt differently now.
He pulled out his phone checking to see if she had left him any messages, but she hadn't. He decided to send her a quick message. Maybe he could make this right.
" Hey Louisa... Would you like to come over? Feeling like I might enjoy that drive tonight."
He wanted her to know that he wasn't with Alicia and that he wouldn't be spending the night with her.
He wondered if maybe he were misreading things. Maybe she wasn't upset about him being with Alicia, or her kissing him. But maybe she was mad that he didn't tell her that he already had plans when this was typically the night they would spend together. A voice in his head told him it was more than that though, that the look in her eyes was one of sadness and hurt. He remembered back to when he first met her and how that look was permanently engraved in her face for months. But how recently she was always bright eyed and smiling. He hoped he hadn't ruined that again.
He waited for a while, staring at the phone, hating himself. He had never been like this before with anyone. He hadn't slept with anyone, or really had any intimacy in months. Not since before the night in the maze. Alicia was the type of woman he typically wouldn't have thought twice about taking to bed, even if she was all about the money. But here he was staring at his phone like a teenage girl, for a woman that had practically put him in the friend zone.
Finally the phone vibrated.
" I'm feeling kind of tired now. Think I will just head to bed."
" Are you sure Clarke? We could stay in tonight. Just watch a movie or something?"
" Sorry Will. I really can't tonight. Enjoy the rest of your evening."
He sighed and tossed his phone down. He laid back in bed, wondering how he could make this right.
Two weeks had gone by and it was obvious that Louisa was avoiding him like the plague. She had barely returned his messages, and he hadn't seen her once. Even though they weren't together, it felt like a break up, and hurt worse than any he had experienced. He thought about going to the Buttered Bun, to tell her that he was sorry and that he was in love with her and to please come back. But as much as he wanted to, he couldn't face the fact that she might turn him down for good, he would rather live in denial that she'd show up knocking at his door any night now at around 2am, with chocolate croissants and that bright smile and all of this would be behind them.
It was getting dark out, Rupert had left the office hours ago to go to a club and had already left him at least fifteen text messages and had called several times. When it rang again as he was packing up to go he picked it up in frustration.
" What Rupert?"
" Look. I know that you're in some kind of depression or whatever.. But that girl that you're so wrapped up in is in the club right now with drink in hand. So maybe if you play your cards right she'll come back to you."
" You're lying."
" Really Will? I'm not I'll even send a picture to you. She's standing at the bar."
" No. Don't take a picture. I'll come out."
He wasn't quite sure if he believed Rupert or not, because he didn't imagine ever seeing Louisa in a club. Especially after what she had gone through. But he figured he would check it out anyway. Being out might be better than moping around the house.
The subway ride to the club was only a fifteen minute ride, but felt like an eternity. He stood against a pole wondering if he should even really go. After all, she was the one who was ignoring him.
When they finally made it to his stop he stepped out right in front of the club, hesitated, and tried to turn back, but it was too late. Rupert had already seen him and was waving him down.
"Will-I-Am" Will's co-worker Freddie who was clearly drunk called out his name, Rupert laughing next to him.
" Christ." He murmured under his breath. A typical evening with drunk Freddie and Rupert was usually quite a good time, but he really was not in the mood for this right now.
" Will, your woman is inside. Let's go buy her some drinks before someone else does." Rupert said, waving his arm to motion them back into the club.
" Please don't act like an arse. Please."
Rupert laughed and slapped him on the back, "I'll try."
The club was loud, and packed full. He found it hard to believe that Rupert had even been able to spot Louisa, who he had only seen in photos, out of all these people. But it only took one scan around the room, and his eyes landed on her instantly. She wasn't hard to pick out of the crowd. Her hair was up in a high bun, she wore a polka dot sweater, against a striped dress, with neon pink tights, and those yellow heels she always had on.
Luckily Rupert and Freddie had been distracted by some of the women dancing in the club, none of which he prayed, were Alicia. He stood back for a second watching her, she was alone, stirring a drink in her hand. He missed her, God how he missed her.
He thought back to a night several months after they had met. There was a knock at his door, late, after midnight. He opened the door and she was there her hands knotted together looking down.
" Louisa? You alright?"
" Hey Will. Yeah I'm alright." She brushed her hair away from her face nervously. " I just had a nightmare.. and I'm sorry, this is so stupid. I'm sure you were sleeping. And now I'm rambling.. I'll let you go back to bed. Sorry Will."
" Clarke. Stop. Come in."
She nodded, and gave him that smile that he loved, walking into his house.
She had stood silent for a moment, as he shut the door behind them, she reached towards him, her hand cupping the side of his face. He was a little taken aback, but relaxed against her soft skin.
" Thank you." She whispered. " You're always here when I need you."
He had smiled at her, her blue eyes so startling in the dim light of his hallway.
" I'll always be here for you."
Her hand caressed his cheek, and they stood there for a while, just looking into each others eyes, not sure where to go from there.
That night she had fallen asleep against him, her head on his chest, arm draped across his stomach, and he had stayed awake for awhile holding her, thinking that he might like to do this more often. He wanted that back now, just wanted to go back to then, before he messed it up.
" Louisa?"
She turned around, startled, and stared at him with wide eyes, sputtering on the drink in her mouth.
" Will.. Hey! What are you doing here?"
" Just having a drink with some guys from work. What are you doing?"
" I'm just having a drink with a friend."
" I've missed you."
She had opened her mouth to say something, when someone stepped right in front of Will, grabbing Louisa's face and pressed his mouth up against hers sloppily. Instinctively , Will grabbed the man and shoved him backwards.
" Who the fuck are you? Keep your fucking hands off of her."
The man stood up from the floor, lunging at Will, striking him in the face. He heard Louisa screaming at him to stop, and shoved his own fist forward, hitting the guy back right in the jaw. He was knocked to the floor, clearly drunk. Security was already there grabbing him and pulling him back away from the man on the floor.
" I'm Patrick, her boyfriend. Who the fuck do you think you are?"
" Your boyfriend?" Will asked out loud, but he looked over and saw Louisa leaving through the backdoor.
He couldn't believe this. This guy had to be lying. Louisa didn't have a boyfriend. He shoved security off of him, in a desperate attempt to find her before she left for good.
" I'm done. I'm done. I'm leaving." He said taking one last look at Patrick being helped off of the floor, his nose bloodied, before hurrying out the back door to find Louisa.
It didn't take him long to find her though, as she was standing right outside of the door in the back alley behind the club, against the wall her head in her hands sobbing.
" Louisa?"
She shook her head at him not looking up.
" How long have you had a boyfriend?"
She looked up at him tears streaking her face. " Just a week."
His stomach was aching. This was not what he had expected at all.
" I'm sorry." He whispered. " I-I didn't know. I thought he was trying to hurt you."
He put his head in his hands, it wasn't supposed to be like this.
" I didn't know you had a boyfriend."
" I'm sorry." She said softly. Barely above a whisper.
He couldn't give up so easily. He knew this was his last chance.
" I miss you Louisa. I miss you so much. I want things to go back to the way they were before." He had stepped towards her, reaching for her cheek the way she did his that night.
Her skin was so soft against his hand, and he wondered if she would pull away when he made contact, but she didn't. She leaned into him a little and he brushed a tear off of her cheek.
" I actually want more than that. I want more than what we had before. Don't you?"
She looked at him with those eyes, and he waited, waited for what seemed like forever, and then finally she nodded.
He felt her hand against his waist pulling him towards her a little, and he tugged her chin a little closer. Her eyes were closed now, and her mouth was so close to his he could almost taste the strawberry lip gloss she was wearing.
" What the hell is going on out here?"
The door had burst open and there was Patrick. Louisa had pulled away from him so quickly that it felt like someone punching him in the stomach.
They had been so close. And now she was standing next to Patrick looking down. He shook his head at her, having to force the tears out of his eyes.
Patrick was holding the door open for Louisa to go back into the club with him now, and as Will walked away he looked back one more time, she was staring at him, mouth slightly open like she was going to say something. But he shook his head at her one last time and turned around, not glancing back once.