Hey look - another chapter! :) Yes, it is 4:15am and yes, I am still up. This is essentially just a filler chapter. I have come up with an actual legitimate, amazing(well so I think ;) plot to the story and will therefore be able to get into longer, more complicated chappies :)
No, I still don't own Twilight.
Chapter 4
I put thought into my clothes the next morning, the first time I had done so in three months. I had to hide the cuts, and clothing was the best way I knew how. I grabbed a long sleeved, baby blue v-neck and slipped it on. Pain laced up my arm when I hit the cuts, but I ignored it. I deserved it.
I ran downstairs and grabbed a bagel, throwing my hair up in a messy ponytail on the way to my truck. The engine was as loud as ever, and I avoided looking at the gaping hole where the stereo should have been.
Once at school, my day went smoothly. Before Gym, I remembered the fierce red lines on my arms and approached Coach Clapp. I lied and told him I was feeling sick. He easily fell for the excuse and let me sit out. Relieved, I pulled out my Calculus homework that I had neglected the night before.
That night, Charlie refused to let me cook, saying that I had been through too much trouble throughout the week. However, he immediately burned the steak and I took over, salvaging most of the meat and whipping up some potatoes. He smiled sheepishly and we ate in silence.
After washing the dishes I scampered upstairs, eager to be alone. As soon as my bedroom door was closed, I removed the floorboard and pulled out the pictures and the CD. I put it in my stereo and let the soft piano music swirl around me.
The tears flowing down my cheeks dripped onto the picture, distorting his face. I sniffled, wiping the droplet away and imagining his pale fingers dancing across the keys. My mind took me to a day just over a year ago, when he took me to his house and introduced me to his family. While we were there, he sat down and played the piano for me, starting with a melody he had written for me. I had cried then too.
I felt numb. There was always the pain—the hole in my chest that threatened to rip me to bits every second of the day—but sometimes it was different, almost like I wasn't even there. People had gotten so used to my non-responsive attitude that they ignored me altogether, and that honestly bothered me more than it should have. Lit was just another thing I deserved. My gaze landed on the drawer next to my bed.
I grabbed the blades from the night before and stared at them hard for a few moments. With a shaky sigh, I drew a red line across my skin again. Would this interminable cycle ever end? And the tears fell like rain.
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