To: Trashykawa
i'm sorry.
To: Trashykawa
can we talk?
Iwaizumi pauses from his studying and flexes his fingers, stiff from hours of hunching over a desk. Oikawa has been ignoring his messages, and he's pretty sure he's being ignored because Oikawa is never not online.
To: Trashykawa
i know ur ignoring me
Iwaizumi decides he doesn't care if he sounds desperate because to hell with it, he is pretty desperate. His previous feelings of justified anger and hurt had all but dissolved into guilt and worry for Oikawa, although he's quite sure that Oikawa's scheming some fancy revenge to make him regret it.
Because that's who Oikawa is, and that's what Oikawa does. He schemes and plots and he is dangerous, because his schemes will most likely succeed and break his victim into tiny little pieces.
Iwaizumi isn't too worried about being torn apart, because he's known that baka too long for that, and he's knows that while Oikawa seems pretty goddamn confident and self-assured and probably arrogant, underneath all that bluster and killing intent, Oikawa is actually quite insecure.
Iwaizumi thinks having a big ego but low self-esteem is probably one of the worst combinations which is exactly why it's manifested in Oikawa, because Oikawa is good, and he knows it, but that doesn't stop him from blaming himself excessively.
Maybe it's because he's captain, and Iwaizumi will sucker punch anyone who says Oikawa isn't a good captain, because he is.
Oikawa's just too focused on his faults to see all the other million good things.
To Trashykawa:
shittykawa dont do this
Iwaizumi doesn't know what he's expecting, but when he rings the doorbell of the house next door, he half-hopes Oikawa will answer, even though he knows Oikawa left in a great hurry more than 12 hours ago.
The door opens, and he's met with the smiling face of Oikawa's mother, Mayumi.
"Ah, sorry to disturb you, Mayumi-san, but do you know where Oikawa is?"
"Hajime-kun! I haven't seen you in a while! Come in, come in!"
Mayumi ushers him in and Iwaizumi enters the familiar living room where he spent almost half of his childhood, playing with Oikawa and occasionally breaking expensive pottery or delicate glassware.
When they're seated and Iwaizumi has been offered tea and cookies, Oikawa's mother smiles at him, eyes soft and sure, full of some secret knowledge that Iwaizumi can't begin to comprehend.
"Did you boys fight again?"
Her smile is knowing and her tone teasing, so Iwaizumi decides that she isn't mad.
"Ha… how did Oikawa-san know?"
A sigh.
"Tooru came home all grumpy and moody the day before yesterday and he skipped the alien movie with you today."
She pauses.
"Tooru never skips his alien movies."
Iwaizumi thinks she has a point.
"Yeah, um, well, we did have a fight, and I want to make it up to him, but he keeps avoiding me. Do you know where he went?"
It's late. It's late and Oikawa still isn't back yet, so he's either in the bar getting wasted or he's deflating volleyballs in school.
"Well, I don't know, Hajime-kun, but he brought his volleyball shoes with him when he left."
And that's all the answer Iwaizumi needs, so he nods and fidgets on the couch, impatient to leave and draining his tea.
"Don't worry, Hajime-kun, I'm sure Tooru will understand. Although when you become my son-in-law, I'll expect you to be more considerate of his feelings."
Iwaizumi chokes on his tea and coughs, trying not to spit tea in her face.
What the hell?!
"I'm not- we're not- he didn't even tell me – what?" Iwaizumi sputters amidst sprays of green tea and stares incredulously at the laughing woman in front of him.
Oh, great.
He buries his flaming face in his hands and tries to ignore that there's tea smeared all over his chin.
"Ah, young love." Oikawa's mother stands, and Iwaizumi gets to his feet, ready to run from this place of demons.
Iwaizumi is halfway to school before he recalls her last words, and "young love" echoes in his head for a full five seconds before its meaning kicks in and Iwaizumi yelps.
Oikawa's mother thinks they're dating.
Iwaizumi wants to crawl into a hole and die.
He doesn't notice the cold, so intent on his destination that the freezing temperatures don't bother him.
Sure enough, the gym lights are on and there's the telltale sound of volleyballs being smacked around by the Demon from Hell, and Iwaizumi pauses outside, doubt and uncertainty diffusing like toxic fumes in his gut.
He walks in, unnoticed by the panting setter as Oikawa lobs yet another volleyball, sweat streaming down the fine lines of his body.
Oikawa's overworking himself again, and Iwaizumi's scared Oikawa's knees can't take it.
The shaking is more visible, and Oikawa leans his weight on his other foot, head bowed and shoulders hunched into something small and pathetic, fists clenched by his sides.
"Oi, Oikawa, it's 1am in the morning."
Oikawa startles, but doesn't turn around. Iwaizumi can tell from the contours of his body that Oikawa's clenching his teeth shut, jaw line strong and tight. Iwaizumi wants to map Oikawa's body line by line, curve by curve, until he can memorize all the ridges and hollows Oikawa has to offer.
"I am aware of that."
There's a tension uncoiling in the air between them, tight and brittle, like a sudden movement is all it would take to shatter it completely and release an avalanche of emotion neither of them are prepared for.
Iwaizumi opens his mouth, and closes it.
He isn't a talker, never has been one, and probably never will be one. He tries to find other ways to express himself, and his true feelings show themselves in every one of his actions, but he knows that it's not enough, and there will always come a time when he will have to put it in words, lay himself out for them all to see, to communicate and be understood.
Now is that time, and Iwaizumi is full of emotions and thoughts he doesn't have to words to express.
Now is the time, and Iwaizumi is faced with an unyielding back taut with anger and betrayal, and he can't do anything about it.
Frustration is all encompassing, and he wants to scream, and he tries.
"Oikawa… Can we talk?"
Oikawa turns around then, face blank and as cold as a stone mask, eyes distant and hard.
"We are talking."
Anger comes through then, familiar Oikawa-induced rage.
"Asshole, you know what I mean! I know you're still angry with me, so goddamnit, stop pretending you aren't!"
There's a beat of silence, when Iwaizumi stares straight into Oikawa's eyes, and for a moment he thinks Oikawa will give in and they can resolve this, but the moment passes too quick, too soon, and Oikawa turns away.
"Go away, Iwaizumi"
Iwaizumi freezes, acute coldness spreading wintery death in his gut, heat prickling sharp in his eyes.
"I don't want to have anything to do with you anymore."