A/N: This chapter kinda calms everything down. I hope you like it :) Again please review it means a lot. Thank you and enjoy.
Like I said all that was a couple of days ago. My neck is better and so is Peeta's. He seems a little more distant from me after that night. I'm not sure exactly why, either it was the episode or what happened after. As I think it over in my head it was probably the episode because he most likely still feels ashamed for hurting me.
Right now I'm sitting in the meadow tying knots with the stray pieces of grass. I can see small patches of dandelions in the corner of my eye. Just the small thought makes me smile, not quite ear to ear but enough so you could tell I was smiling. Not much has gone on lately I usually just sit at home and wait until Peeta comes home and then curl up with him and watch television. Today I was tired of doing nothing so I decided to go into the meadow. A place I haven't visited very much lately.
As I sit here in the meadow I can't help but think that Madge is somewhere underneath where I'm sitting. Along with so many, many, many others because of my rebellious actions. Suddenly I scream and hit ground, pounding it with my fists. Silent tears stream down my face as old emotions bubble up inside of me. Dread. Guilt. Pent up anger. Longing. Mostly longing for those innocent people to not be laying side by side for eternity. Their spirits roaming through the meadow as I sit here and feel sorrow and grief for all the damage I've done. But if I hadn't done everything I have, things would be a lot different. By now my throat is a little hoarse from shouting and my eyes are puffy from all the crying. Actually I haven't cried for a couple days, which is a long time for me.
After sitting in the meadow a little longer the sun starts to fall past the horizon. A mesmerizing array of colors fill the sky. In some spots there is light pink with purple surrounding it and in others a soft orange glow lingers among the few clouds. This is definitely one of those precious sunsets that you treasure witnessing. It reminds me of the many sunsets Peeta and I watched from the rooftop of trains and the training center. In fact I know he would love this one in particular because this specific orange is his favorite color.
As the sunset begins to fade away I get up and wipe the remnants of tears of my face. When I crawl under the fence I see someone I particularly wouldn't expect to see around. Rory.
" Hi Rory," I waved shyly at him.
" Katniss, how have you been?" He asks casually like we talk every day.
" Fine, how are you?" I say trying to keep the conversation from getting too awkward.
" Better. We haven't seen you in a long time, I know that Posy and everybody else misses you," he smiles at me. By everybody else I feel like he is implying Gale as well.
" Well I'll have to stop by sometime soon, it was good to see you Rory," I sincerely reply because I should go visit the Hawthornes soon.
I could tell how much Rory had grown up. He had stubble growing on his chin, he was taller and more muscular than he was in Thirteen. But he definitely looked like Gale wpith the Seam grey eyes, black hair and olive skin. Sometimes I miss Gale, hunting, joking around, mostly just being near him because he was my best friend. The one person I could be myself with. Even now I long for that kind of friendship again knowing that I probably won't get it ever again.
Without realizing it I had already walked into the Victors Village and up to our house. As I swing the door open I see Peeta pacing around with his hands balled up into fists and I'm scared that he might be having another episode so I nearly have a heart attack when he looks up at me and shouts my naPep" Katniss!" Peeta shouts at me. Scared, I scurry out the door and begin to run back to the meadow.
" Please Katniss," He pleads so pained that I stop dead in my tracks. But now I feel guilty for abandoning Peeta because usually I try to help him through an episode. Stupid, stupid girl I think to myself. Slowly I turn around and face Peeta who has tears welled up in his eyes staring at me with such a pained expression displayed. Unable to stand the distance between us I run into Peeta's strong arms. For the second time today I'm crying but at least this time I have Peeta with me. When I look I see that he's crying as well. With a smile on my face I use my thumb and wipe the tears from his face. He starts to smile back and I then I laugh because I have no idea why I am smiling.
" Now tell me where you were today please," Peeta says genuine concern now showing in his face. It's at this time I remember that I never told Peeta I was going to the meadow. In fact I didn't even plan on being out for long, but knowing me nothing happened the way it was supposed to. Feeling extremely guilty for giving Peeta such a fright I explain to him that I ate breakfast and then spent the whole day sitting in the meadow. He cocks his head to the side and raises his eyebrows.
" What is it?" I ask, seriously offended by the expression reflected on his face.
" It's nothing, just that I spent all day looking for you and that was the last place I thought you would be so I didn't go and check there," He explains to me exhaling a half laugh half sigh. I giggle for the first time in months. I look up at Peeta smiling, as I lean in to kiss him I say I love you. I usually don't say that but I truly and whole heartedly love Peeta Mellark.