Nutcracker season was always a trip and a half. The moment class ended, everyone dispersed to start learning their new pieces. Snow started right away, since with all it's intricacies, it had to be perfect. The girls were given their pompoms and Amelia taped her name to hers, making sure she placed them on the floor while they were taught the steps before they were needed. She was one of the first girls onto the stage, starting with a beautiful, leaping grand jete and a double soutenu turn, throwing a fistful of fake snow into the air. This being Balanchines version, on stage there would already be snow falling around the girls as they danced. She smiled as she worked through the steps, feeling her pointe shoes slowly dying on her feet through the next hour, engaging more of her abdominals to hold her up, determined not to be lazy and let her Russian's do the work for her. She twirled, she waltz turned, she leapt, she sprang up and felt like the floor gave way beneath her. She smiled at Peter and showed him that she was more than grateful to be a part of NYCB, that she deserved to be here, albeit a corps member for now. She was going to be more, so much more, than stuck in the corps for the next 5 years.
After their hour of rehearsal, they were given a ten minute break to catch their breath and get water before Waltz rehearsal. She was glad she'd be seeing Ryan and getting to partner with him for the next hour of rehearsal. Taking off her dead pointe shoes, she inspected her toes – on toenail was falling off, so she clenched her teeth together and ripped it off, quickly covering it with a bandaid and some tape, before swathing it in some lambs wool to ease the pain en pointe. Tying on an already broken in but new pair of shoes, she wiped down her body with a towel before heading into studio three. Addison was already there in her stiff rehearsal tutu as Dew Drop, and she gave Amelia a smile as she pulled on a tutu to practice in – a longer romantic one, the type she'd be wearing as a demi-soloist. As the opening strains of Tchaikovskys Waltz of the Flowers blared through the speakers, the corps girls ran on and hit their spots, and then the four demis, their male counterparts behind them, and then the two soloists with their partners, striking a pose resembling a flower blossom on the floor before Addison as Dew Drop struck her beginning pose, her faithful flowers around her. Amelia danced her heart out; Ryan was the perfect partner for her, really. He anticipated her every move, he held her confidently in each lift, he spun her perfectly – 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 pirouettes, letting her find her balance as she smiled into the mirror, bending into a deep penche and ending in a lovely arabesque.
Lincoln clapped to signify the end of rehearsal. Amelia was soaking wet, covered in sweat, stumbling around from the effects of the drugs but she found him standing in front of her, a hand on her shoulder.
"Miss Shepherd, I don't think, in all my years at City Ballet, that I've met a harder working dancer. You seem to give everything into your steps," he told her. She was shocked that such a legend was speaking to her, a lowly corps girl. She curtsied deeply for him with a smile on her face, despite the fact that the room was spinning around her, a combination of the pills and a great need for water. He dismissed her and she walked out of the studio, taking great care at an attempt at walking in a straight line, fetching her water from where she had left it in the dressing room. Her ankle was killing her from twisting it in class earlier that day, so she popped two Oxy with another two Adderall – she still had one more rehearsal that day, with a performance that night of Symphony in C, Dances at a Gathering, and Moves. She was in all three and needed to focus on her dancing, doing the best that she could to continue to stand out.
Opening night of Nutcracker was December 6th, and she couldn't deny the fact that she was nervous. Her brother and sisters were in the audience with her mother, and as she stood in the wings in her doll costume, swathed in warmups galore, she wanted to peek past the curtain and find them, but she was past that childish phase – she was a professional now, getting paid to do what she loved.
With five minutes to curtain, the backstage lights flashed and Amelia stripped off her warmups. As the doll, she wore a stiff pink tutu with puffed sleeves, beaded and embroidered with beautiful flowers and rhinestones. A flower was in her hair and people kept bumping into her as she waited to take her turn dipping her shoes in the rosin box. Once she was done, she stepped out on stage, taking in a deep breath and smiling. She was in her element. Perching behind her specific box, she got herself into a comfortable position, knowing her first role wasn't at least until 20 minutes into the ballet.
A few minutes into sitting behind her box, the opening strains of the orchestra started playing, and Amelia watched the corps girl, Mimi, skip onto stage as Clara, and Amelia was jealous. She wanted to be Clara so badly, although she was happy in her roles. Finally her part came, where Drosselmeyer activated the dolls at the party, and Amelia sprang up next to the male doll, walking the way a wind-up toy would. Nervously she performed her part, much to the delight of the young children she was performing for, and received polite applause for her dancing, settling into a resting position by the Christmas tree. She stayed on stage until the party scene ended, and in a frenzy she ran backstage to get ready for snow. Her costume was beautiful; a very full, white, romantic tutu, attached to a white leotard embroidered with silver thread, Swarovski crystals, and silver sequins. A crystal tiara was pinned to her hair, and someone – later, she realized, it had been Meredith – dusted her with glitter, and she was ready.
Heading upstairs, she found her pompoms on the props table, setting them in the wings for when she needed them. The battle scene was still going on and Mimi was running around, until she threw her pointe shoe at the Mouse king and fainted, being caught by the Nutcracker. Soon the curtain closed and the stage was quickly cleared as the Snow Pas started, and Amelia watched Teddy and Mark perform the beautiful steps, and in her mind she knew she wanted to do this Pas one day. Once it was over, the Snow King left the stage, and the first strings of Waltz of the Snowflakes started. Amelia soared high across the stage, her tombe, glissade, grand jete landing her right on center stage as she smiled, did a perfect soutenu, and flicked her hands out so her arms were in a wide V, before she pressed her chest out and went off at a run, pointing her toes and extending from every limb, getting in a few more soutenous before hitting her beginning position as the rest of the 14 dances hit their beginning marks.
The intro ended and the music began, and they were a white and silver, sparkling and shining, dancing mass of young girls. They began to break off from the main group, two at a time, and Amelia paid attention to the counts of 8 in the music, knowing the dance from the inside out. When she ran off stage, she grabbed her pompoms, securing them in her hands. When the choir started to sing the did a saute onto the stage, shaking the poms as snow fell down from the rafters, coating her and the 14 other dancers. Some of it fell down her costume, getting in her eyes and mouth, but she danced on, even though at times she felt herself slipping on the flakes. She didn't care. The music intensified and she danced on, her toes killing her, knowing there would be a small pool of blood inside but she didn't care. Her heart was racing and as the music reached the crescendo, she had a small moment to take a breath before she was dancing even harder and faster, running in circles and throwing even more fake snow in the air as they danced and waltzed around Teddy. As the music came to an end, all 14 flakes held death defying balances around Teddy, their queen, as Clara and the Prince got into a sleigh bound for the land of sweets, and suddenly, as Amelia held a beautiful attitude derriere, the heavy velvet curtain fell shut. She felt weightless and beautiful, two things she'd spent 18 years trying to achieve, as the audience went wild.
During intermission, she changed her makeup entirely. She switched out the cool silvery eyeshadows she had worn for snow, to colors that would make her blue eyes pop. Her dead, bloody pointe shoes from Act 1 were swapped for another nicely broken in pair, and she pulled on her Walt of the Flowers costume. It had a pale pink bodice with a layered skirt; her skirt was three different colors of pink layered one on the other. She shared a dressing room with Stephanie, Maggie, and April, but she felt that soon enough, she'd be leaving them behind. Her ankle was killing her from Snow, so she popped two 20mg Oxy, along with four Adderall. By the time intermission was over and the Introduction to the Land of Sweets was up, she was both hazy and sharp. Ryan had his hand touching her waist while they ran on stage, introducing themselves to the Sugar Plum Fairy, her Cavalier, Clara, and her Prince, before running off to wait for their dance. She watched everyone before them, especially Meredith Grey. She had to admit, the tiny wisp of a blonde was good. Her mother was well-known in the ballet world; she had been a principal at the Boston Ballet, which is where Meredith hailed from, escaping to NYC like most dancers did, ultimately. She was a flawless dancer; everything was perfectly and precisely executed without much thought – she didn't need to think about what she did. She was naturally talented, especially with her mother being another naturally talented ballerina, immensely famous in her own right.
It seemed like no time at all before the orchestra was playing the opening strains of Waltz of the Flowers, and Amelia was bourreing onto the stage, Ryan walking behind her, his arms at her waist. She folded herself into a flower position on the floor with the rest of the corps, waiting for the music to come on. Once it did, she was on her feet, waltz turning after waltz turning, being held high off the stage, leaping, turning, twirling through girl after girl, a smile on her face. At one point there were only her and the four demi's on stage, twirling between each other, their partners lifting them and weaving in and out of each other. She loved it, despite dancing Waltz for years, and by the time she struck her final pose – held 12 feet in the air, supported by one of Ryan's arms and hands, posing with one leg tucked under her, the other in arabesque, her arms rounded and chin lifted. The audience went wild as the curtain closed, and Ryan let her fall into his arms, smothering her with kisses.
A few weeks into Nutcracker, half the cast was sick or injured. They were all covering for one another, and Amelia knew almost every role. One night, Peter approached her, her heart dancing wildly from adrenaline, nerves, and Adderall.
"Miss Shepherd, do you know the role of Arabian well enough to go on tonight?" Her eyes went wild. That was a soloist role, one that Cristina Yang had.
"I…sir…yes I do," she sputtered out. Behind him came one of the costume women, carrying Cristina's costume, and she ushered Amelia into her dressing room.
"Here, try this on." Amelia stripped out of her leotard down to her tights and tried on the Arabian costume. It bared most of her stomach and rib cage, with the bottoms being harem pants and the top being a crop top, with a small tiara with tulle flowing from it. She looked at herself in the mirror and stared, before she was ushered upstairs to the stage to rehearse with Owen.
She was doing a dance with Owen freaking Hunt.
As she stood in the wings, watching the Candy Canes, she gulped and hugged herself, testing her pointe shoes to keep herself warm. She felt a presence next to her and looked up; it was Owen. He was looking at her and smiling and she smiled back, feeling nervous and terrified.
"Amelia, right? You're one of the newer corps girls? I've seen you dance, you're amazing. It's a pleasure to dance with you tonight," he said to her. Her heart skipped a beat and she felt herself smiling.
"Thank you," she said, feeling her cheeks turning red. She wanted to say something else, to compliment his own dancing, before she felt his hand in hers, an arm around her waist, and suddenly they were on stage for rehearsal.
If she thought partnering with Ryan was a dream, partnering with Owen was like being on another planet. He knew every step she was going to take before she took it, his hand was always there for hers before she reached for him, and as she balanced on one single hand in a needle, her leg in line with her back, reaching straight to the ceiling, she felt like she was safe, like he wasn't going to drop her. He slowly lowered her to the floor and she slid into a split, Owen pulling her up as she draped herself almost in half over his arm. The dance went off without a hitch, and soon they were slowly slinking off stage. Peter's eyes were wide, and he seemed to have no notes for the pair.
That night, she danced her normal roles of doll, Snow, and Waltz, with Arabian added on as well. The crowd went wild after Arabian, and she smiled gently at Owen, her blue eyes twinkling even without the added enhancement of drugs. No, tonight she was on a natural high.
"Really, it was a pleasure to dance with you Owen, even for just one night, she said sincerely, giving him a tight hug before she dashed off to quickly change into her Waltz costume.
The rest of Nutcracker was like that, filling in small soloist roles some nights, but Amelia never missed a show. New Years Eve was their last show, and that night there was a large company party at one of the nicer hotels in the city. High on their pills, Amelia and Ryan snuck away into one of the bedrooms, having their own celebration, having survived two seasons with the company so far. They only had to survive spring season and then they'd have been with the company a full year.
Quickly getting dressed, finding her clothes in the dim room, the effect of so many drugs and little food floating through her system, Amelia smiled over at Ryan.
"I love you," she smiled, pushing bobbypins back into her updo, zipping up her black silk gown and making sure she still had her jewelry.
"I love you too," he smiled, draping his suit jacket across her shoulders as they returned to the party, watching fireworks across the city as the year turned to 2017.
Okay so this chapter was SUPER long, but it's Nutcracker season and I'm seeing NYCB's Nutcracker next weekend! I'm so excited! This is one of the first years I'm NOT in the Nutcracker but I can get SO descriptive about it, as you can tell :P But Owen and Amelia finally had their first connection! Ahhhh! I have plans for her and Ryan, don't worry, this is 100% an Omelia story! Hope you enjoyed this chapter!