a/n: another installment that sort of hints at 'Salute,' leads into it, but also strays back towards just conversation - heavier this time, though! i am offering a trigger warning, as sexual assault is briefly discussed.
Girl Talk
"Wine Cereal"
There was general disarray in Leia's apartment, a visual harbinger of the chaos that attended her upcoming move - yet the somewhat neatly contained mess did not hinder one of hers and Winter's 'get together and gossip' evenings. The obvious solution to having to navigate packing bins and other displaced personal materials around the Solo home was to conduct the girls' night at Winter's, but Tycho was rewiring some of the electrical systems at his wife's request, and hadn't yet finished or tidied up his work spaces, and Winter insisted she wanted to spend some last moments in Leia's so-called starter place - a sentiment Leia found endearing, and could herself appreciate. Though she felt no reluctance in leaving this place behind as she and Han navigated into the future, there was enough nostalgia here that it was pleasant, and comfortable - particularly in that it was where Winter had first met the infamous smuggler who so ruffled Bail Organa's sensibilities, back before he was Leia's husband and a warmly welcomed part of the family. It also had the distinction of being the place where their cherished girl talk moments had recommenced in the aftermath of so much loss, trauma, and miraculous recovery.
Both women, just returned from a day at the health spa that began with defensive tactical training - led by Leia's personal head of security - and ended with a fair amount of pampering in the form of facials, brow waxes, saunas, and manicures, were milling about Leia's kitchen reveling in cool air as it emanated from the open ice box. In search of refreshment, Winter rummaged through the ice box blithely, while Leia washed her hands in the sink, refraining from drying off the excess water and instead running her damp fingers through her hair to smooth the frizz a bit as she twisted it back into a loose braid.
"I can certainly afford an astronomical electric bill," Leia remarked, glancing over her shoulder, "yet that's no reason to indiscriminately waste resources."
"Yes," agreed Winter, still gazing thoughtfully into the open ice box, "my current behavior is highly antithetical to Alderaanian values - have mercy, though, Your Highness, I am suffering a deep crisis of conscience."
"Over snack choices?" Leia snorted.
"Temper your disdain," Winter replied loftily. She frowned. "I simply hesitate to unravel all the good we've done today by indulging in wine, sweets - and the like."
Leia tucked tendrils of hair behind her ears and turned the faucet off, turning and leaning against the counter. She arched a brow and eyed Winter's back skeptically.
"You hesitate?"
"Your emphasizes is heard, and not appreciated."
"My apologizes - you hesitate?"
Winter turned and shot Leia a withering look; Leia grinned smugly.
"Decadent junk after a work out does seem a tad unproductive, you have to admit."
Leia nodded, but held up one two fingers.
"Agreed, but counterpoints," she said smoothly, ticking one finger down, "it's girls' night, thus indulgence is a given - "
"And the second?" Winter asked, nodding at Leia's remaining finger.
"We did not work out today," Leia offered, "we engaged in tactical defense training which, though certainly a physical exertion in itself, was a productive augmentation of survival skills, a necessity of life, really, rather than the optional undertaking of exercise for aesthetic purposes," she explained, "so, we are not so much negating a workout as we are rewarding ourselves for the monumental undertaking of ensuring we can handle our own protection, if need be."
Winter cocked her eyebrow higher, and turned back to the ice box with a smug look.
"Convincing, and loquacious," she commented slyly. "You almost sound as if you've had political training."
Leia crossed her arms.
"There are sparkling wines in the freezer," she murmured. "They're lighter."
Winter inched closer and began to sort through them, her lips pursing.
"You have fruit?"
"Masses of it."
Tucking a bottle of sparkling wine under her arm, Winter turned, her eyes lighting up.
"Yogurt?" she asked.
Leia nodded.
"And - a, a, ah - um," Winter looked blank for a moment, then shocked at herself, and then said - "I just forgot the Basic for - " she supplied the desired word in Alderaanian.
"Blender," Leia snorted, her head tilting. "You forgot the word blender?"
"How often do elitist women raised in the confines of the royal family use kitchen related jargon?" retorted Winter dryly, her cheeks flushing. "I speak exclusively Alderaanian much more often than you," she reminded Leia - and Leia smirked, nodding.
"Yes, I have a blender."
"Ah," Winter said, stepping forward to hand Leia the wine and turning back to find fruit and yogurt. "Do you know how to use it?" she challenged.
Leia shrugged.
"No, not really," she said flatly. "In theory. I can follow instructions. Though I'm sure Han threw them away."
"Why would he do that?" Winter asked, appalled. "And why don't you know how to use a blender?"
"Because he thinks instructions are unnecessary authority figures and he prefers to ignore them, break things, swear a lot, fix them, and insist they're working fine - so on that note, it's probably dangerous to use the blender," Leia retorted, eyes narrowing. "Do you know how to use a blender?"
Winter blinked.
"Of course not," she hissed, alarmed at herself. "Tycho's the one who cooks."
"Han's the one who cooks," Leia retorted. "Han bought everything in this kitchen. Except the crystal stem tulip wine glasses."
"Funny, I thought those were exactly his style."
Leia grinned, and Winter sighed dramatically.
"I really am disappointed you can't use a blender - "
"You just admitted that you can't either!"
"Yes, but you've become much more common than I - you've slept in a cave - "
Leia started laughing, and Winter shook her head.
"Our privileged, sheltered lives have lent us not advantages in a post-War world where the lines between classes have blurred - mostly due to your dallying with, and then marrying, a commoner," she lamented, quite tongue-in-cheek.
Leia tapped her nails primly against the label of the wine bottle.
"Perhaps if a blender could fire blaster bolts at Imps, I'd have devoted some time to familiarizing myself with one," she said smoothly.
"Fair enough," Winter said, and placed yogurt back in the ice box. Choosing several kinds of tart fruits instead,, she closed the door and sidestepped to grab a couple of bowls from the cabinet, her bottom lip drawn in between her teeth. "My idea dream of a wine-infused smoothie is now dashed."
"What are you doing?" Leia asked, eyeing her warily.
Winter began transferring fruit from containers into bowls, focusing on getting a diverse mix of many in each one. She held out her hand for the wine bottle, and Leia inched forward, handing it to her with interest. Winter fumbled with the wax closure, then expectantly held it back out to Leia, who gave the cork a gentle twist with a little effortless persuasion from the Force, and popped it open.
"I love that you can do that," Winter crooned.
"Luke considers it a gross abuse of a sacred power," Leia noted, still watching Winter closely.
"Luke would be less uptight if he uncorked some alcohol with his mind once in a while," Winter joked affectionately. "Behold," she said, pouring the sparkling libation into the bowls full of fruit. "A sophisticated smoothie reduction - fruit-salad infused with fermented berries from the planet of," she took a surreptitious glance at the bottle, "Naboo - oh, Naboo! Fun!"
Leia raised an eyebrow at the creation, as the fruit shimmered under the sparkling wine, and the carbonation bubbled and sizzled quietly, releasing sweet aromas that were sufficiently mouth-watering. She flicked her eyes up at Winter through her lashes, amused at the semantics for what was really -
"This is basically cereal," she remarked.
Winter elbowed her.
"It's a fruit salad smoothie reduction with fermented - "
"It's wine cereal."
"It's at the least sangria in a bowl," Winter fired back. "Sangria," she insisted. "You know, the Chandrilan staple."
Leia considered the concoction, and then reached forward to tip Winter's wrist forward a bit more, adding additional sparkling wine. She gave a small, wry smirk, and shrugged, accepting it. She fetched some ice and a ceramic bucket to keep the leftover wine cold, and then re-opened the icebox and removed a container of whipped sweet cream, dolloping some of it into each bowl - to Winter's delight - and thinking with amusement of what Han would say if he could see the improvised snack.
Come to think of it, he'd probably just be relieved she hadn't taken it upon herself to attempt to bake anything.
Winter swept her bowl into her hand, turned to hand Leia the other, and then plucked a piece of fruit from the mixture, dipping it in a little of the sweet cream and popping it in her mouth. She nodded firmly, giving Leia a serious look.
"Turns out I am an excellent chef," she announced.
"If one loosely defines cooking," Leia retorted, and balanced her bowl on her own hand. She tilted her head out of the kitchen and turned on her heel, both of them venturing lazily into the sitting room to take up residence there - likely for the rest of the night, or at least until they needed more wine. On her way to the sofa, Leia nudged aside some open, half-full boxes so that they were more tightly pressed against the wall, and chose to curl up in the corner of the sofa - settling into a cozy, well-worn nook that was Han's usual spot. Winter glanced around, before collapsing contently on the sofa, and leaning back. She placed her feet up on the centerpiece table, and closed her eyes happily.
"This never gets old," she said.
Leia nodded in agreement, drawing her foot up off the floor and propping it up so that her knee stuck up at an angle. Bending her other leg in half criss-cross, she balanced her bowl on the flat side of her other thigh.
Winter rolled her head over, picking up another piece of fruit to pop in her mouth.
"Bold nail choice, by the way," she noted, nodding down at Leia's hand. "Quite the ostentatious colour."
"Thanks. I hate it," Leia said blithely.
Is there an occasion?" Winter asked, amused - Leia had completed her manicure with a vibrant, shimmering blue lacquer - brighter and more eye-catching than she usually went for.
"It's a long story," she demurred.
Winter snorted knowingly.
"What sort of bet did you make with Han?"
"It wasn't a bet!"
"What dumb thing did he say, then?" Winter prompted slyly.
Leia blinked, her cheeks flushing.
"Long story short, he rather confidently stated that I'd never wear a nail lacquer other than something very proper."
"I see," Winter snorted.
"So, here we are," Leia sighed dramatically, waving a few of her fingers before picking up some wine-soaked fruit. She shrugged, smiled, and took a bite.
"So, now you have blue nails you hate," Winter said, mimicking Leia's tone.
"And victory over his little tirade about knowing me well enough to make definitive statements about the entire gamut of my future choices," Leia sniffed.
"Han does know you that well."
Leia fluttered her free hand pointedly.
"Or does he?"
Winter giggled.
"Show him to argue with me over nail lacquer," Leia joked sternly.
"It is a charmed relationship indeed when the two in it resort to arguing about nail lacquer - how did that even start?"
Leia shrugged.
"You know, perhaps it was a dare, not an argument," she amended.
Winter smirked, and shook her head.
"I suppose I ought not to say anything," she noted. "I am the woman who adjusted her grooming habits at the request of her husband."
"How was it?" Leia asked.
Winter shook her head, clicking her tongue.
"Absurd; I am never doing such a thing again," she said. "I was picking wax out of crevices for days," she said, gesturing pointedly between her legs, "everything I wore felt uncomfortable, my poor, innocent pussy was cold," Winter went on - Leia snorted into her wine fruit cereal - "it hurt, which reinforced how preposterous the idea is, and I am prepared to swear I felt less clean."
"And Tycho's thoughts?" Leia asked around a piece of fruit.
"Oh, him," Winter cackled. "In that respect, I'm glad I tried it - would you believe that I come home, I'm freshly waxed bare, new lingerie, planning on blowing his damn mind, and at first, he's into it, he's so humbled and complimentary, honored I am deigning to acquiesce to his request, and so forth," Winter narrated, waving her hand - she pointed between her legs again, "he gets down there, doesn't even start before he's changed his mind -it's not you," she quoted, imitating her husband, "I'm sorry I asked you to - it's not you, I miss you."
Leia burst out laughing.
Winter gave a groan, nodding in agreement.
"I made him go down on me for hours," she said aggressively, "and every night until it had grown back enough to stop the infernal itching - I made him sleep in that bed of his own making."
"You win some, you lose some," Leia drawled.
Winter nodded in agreement.
"I did not like it," she said, "though I'm glad he saw the light," she said primly.
"Hear, hear," Leia agreed. "You've drawn him back to his native ways."
Winter sighed, closing her eyes briefly.
"I miss Alderaan," she said wistfully – she said it simply, and without any depressive or morose tone; just honest, and true. "Other worlds were always wild fun, but there was nothing like going home," she murmured.
Leia bit her lower lip, her lashes fluttering, tacit in her agreement. She nibbled her way through another piece of fruit, her tongue stinging slightly at the fizz of the wine bubbles.
"Hmm," she murmured. "Occasionally I wonder how long I would have fit in on Alderaan," she said, flicking her eyes up. "If it had survived the war. If I'd come back," she went on. Her eyebrows knit a little – "Even if the worst of things hadn't happened to me," she said. "I still wonder how long I would have fit in."
Winter opened one eye, and blew out air quietly through her lips.
"Your nature is your nature," she said simply. "Bail and Breha didn't implant discs in you and program kindness, tolerance, dignity – all those things we love so much. They taught you the concepts, and you chose them. Your nature is that you chose the brighter paths, when you were aware of darker ones, and when you weren't."
Leia ate another piece of fruit. She smiled softly, gratefully, and shrugged a little still – sometimes, she still wondered.
"I think it would have been sweet revenge, having Vader's flesh and blood rule the most peaceful planet amongst the systems," Winter muttered, drawing a laugh out of Leia. "You could summarily ruin his reputation. Well on your way to doing that now."
Leia laughed a little louder, her shoulders relaxing. Winter grinned, and opened both of her eyes, lifting her head a little. She picked up a piece of fruit, nibbled at it, then seemed to suck much of the wine out of it before enjoying the rest of it. She chewed her lip for a moment, and then shook her head, wincing, and clearing her throat.
"I had hoped to have a bit more alcohol in my system before I brought this up," she said, half to herself, and Leia gave a wary, playful groan, slanting her eyes at Winter sideways as she anticipated what lurid subject her friend was going to bring up this time –
Winter glanced around; as if she were suspicious someone might hear – a reporter, or Han, suddenly appearing out of nowhere to invade their female space –
"Have you ever cried during sex?" she finally asked in a hushed voice.
Leia blinked, startled, and stared at her for a moment, taken aback by the question - more so because it was Winter who had asked it than any other reason.
To Winter's surprise, Leia then started to laugh, a soft, skeptical laugh of disbelief, her head tilting back in amusement. Winter drew back warily, her cheeks flushing - and noticing it, not wanting Winter to think she was being made fun of, Leia reached out and grasped her hand, holding it tightly. The movement jolted her bowl, and Leia quickly steadied it so as not to make a sticky, sangria mess, and squeezed Winter's hand matter-of-factly.
She shook her head, unable to suppress the somewhat out of place, yet very self-aware, smirk on her face; she wanted to roll her eyes and snort – Me? Of course I fucking have.
"Have I - yes, several times," Leia said emphatically, biting her lip with a wince and softening her response. Her brow furrowed. "And I think there was a time in my life when I'd have been mortified to imagine such a thing happening but," she shrugged, her eyes wide, unable to see it as embarrassing or inappropriate. "Yes," she said again.
Winter looked a little alarmed, but relieved as well. She squeezed Leia's hand in return, and then wriggled out of her grip, drawing her arm back to her lap. Nodding sagely, Leia settled backwards again, and fell silent, though Leia continued to stare at her, vaguely consternated.
"Well, are you going to…elaborate?" she finally ventured, arching a brow.
Leia paused in the process of picking at her fruit. She glanced up, her expression becoming slightly guarded. She studied Winter for a moment, and then tilted her head, shaking it a bit.
"No-ooo-oo," she drawled softly, hesitating. She rested her wrist on her bowl, thoughtful. "You broached the subject," she added, "I assumed you wanted to discuss something."
"I do," Winter said edgily. "I want to share experiences," she said, gesturing between them. "It's a – delicate thing, and you – I'm relieved it's happen to you, too," she trailed off a little. "I want to…I don't know, discuss," she said dryly. "See if I've had a – ridiculous episode."
Leia gave a soft shrug.
"It's not entirely uncommon for me to cry," she said, almost under her breath. She pursed her lips warily. "Winter, I don't want to talk about my moments," she offered, gently dismissive. "They're…moments."
Winter looked at her for a long time, and then turned her head away, staring straight ahead of her. She tilted her chin down, poking at her fruit, and then crossing her feet at the ankles.
"Leia," she breathed, and Leia flinched a little at the undercurrent of irritability in her tone. "Sometimes I feel like we'll never be as close as we used to be. There's something in the way," she muttered.
Leia compressed her lips, her heart sinking. She felt awkwardly ambushed, but Winter seemed nettled, and on edge, and she was concerned about her. She paused for a long time, considering the statement, and then answered –
"I am not required to tell you everything, Winter."
- and it came out more defensive than she meant.
"You used to," Winter said shortly.
Leia caught her breath.
"I know," she muttered, biting her lip. She scraped her teeth along her tongue, and sighed quietly. "Some things are – different, they're," she paused. "Different."
"How?" Winter pushed edgily. "I suppose I understand when you can be reticent about the explicit sexual stuff, since that encroaches on Han's privacy, too – but you feel so emotionally cold to me, sometimes. Or…distant," she explained quietly, "and you didn't used to be."
Leia swallowed tensely, reaching to the side to put her bowl on the kaffe table. She rested her elbow on the back of the sofa and put her chin on her palm, staring at Winter.
"I have – some of my – things, such as what you're – asking about," she said stiffly, "are difficult. They're…very intimate."
"You know you can trust me as much as you can trust Han," Winter told her, turning her head back to meet Leia's eyes. "You trusted me with the deepest secrets before you ever met him."
Leia resisted the urge to fling her hand out violently, lest she startle Winter, or accidentally upend the bowl of fruit with a rush of powerful emotion.
"Yes, I had such torrid secrets in my early teens," she retorted, lightly sarcastic. "I was a fairly innocent girl – I trust you, Winter! It isn't about trust, necessarily," she said, frustrated. "Me – crying in an intimate sexual moment is sometimes related to things I – there are things I only talk to Han about," she fumbled, "because he was there with me in the moment, or because," she broke off, taking a deep breath. "I sleep with him. I don't sleep with you – it's more intimate."
"You're closer to him because you have sex with him?" Winter asked, her eyes narrowing. "That's almost as if you're implying the most intimate, meaningful relationship a straight woman can have is with a man. You can't think that, Leia, there's – there are things men simply cannot relate to – "
"That isn't what I'm – " Leia broke off harshly, her face flushing. "You have no right to accuse me of disparaging female friendships in favor of men!"
Angrily, she took a deep breath, and then went on, quieter –
"Winter, he was the only person I had for so long. So long," she emphasized. "You think Mon and I were braiding each other's hair and talking about menses and," she waved her fingers, "nail lacquer?" Leia bit her lip. "Han was all I had. I talked about everything to him. I lost you," she said, "I lost you, and Han wasn't just a lover, he was my best friend. Is," she corrected. "You both are my closest friends – but yes, there are some things I share with him that are exclusive because," she sighed, scraping her teeth across her lip, "he's Han, and he grew up around grit and he's seen me raw."
Winter compressed her lips; staring at Leia thoughtfully, quiet for a moment.
"You have me back now," she said earnestly. "I want to know your soul as closely as I used to. And sometimes I feel rejected when you won't fill me in on the gaps, emotional or physical – the things I missed, the things I need to know – it's like there are some shallow parts in our friendship where there didn't used to be any. I know it sounds as if I'm trying to say you owe me your secrets. I'm not. I just," she paused, grappling. "I mean, you and I have never really talked about the Death Star – "
"That? You want to hear about that?" Leia interrupted hoarsely. "You have some macabre fascination?" she snapped.
"No, that is not what I'm saying," Winter said tiredly. "I don't want you to tell me all the details of being raped," she said bitterly. "I just don't want you to feel like you have to protect me from it. From you, from your emotions. I don't want you to feel like you can't be utterly open with me."
Winter bit her lip, and took a deep breath.
"It makes me feel vulnerable, too vulnerable to talk to you, in moments when I really need to. I always did tell you the worst of my secrets, and my insecurities, and mistakes, and fears, and I had full confidence that you'd be as open when you needed to – so I felt safe in our shared conversations," she explained in a small voice. "I don't want to grow apart through the years because your – husband is all you need. I know how important a damn close marriage is; I have one, too, but this," she gestured between them fiercely, "is supposed to have a unique, feminine element – a different perspective."
Leia was silent, contemplating Winter's words, taking them in. She swallowed hard, residual defensiveness and irritation fading, disappearing. She understood – she understood what Winter was saying; she, too, knew that as easily as they had fallen back into their sisterly routines, there was a subtle, lurking element of – this is not the same – and likely, it never would be completely, wholly the same.
She recognized Winter's fear of growing apart, though; and she sensed in her friend a fear that Winter hadn't experienced before, and where Leia had often looked to Winter for more tangible and explicit advice regarding intimacy, Winter yielded to Leia for the emotional.
In the silence, Winter seemed to sense Leia working through her walls, and cleared her throat softly.
"When Tycho was in the flight accident a few weeks ago, it scared me," she said. "For a split second, when I was unsure if it was fatal, I felt what it would be like to lose him. I've had a few nightmares since," she murmured. "Maybe a, uh, week ago, I – we were having sex, and I ran my hand over a new scar on his hip, from the accident," she revealed, "and I started crying," she said sheepishly, turning her head sharply, "while he was inside of me."
Leia nodded, listening.
"I've never done that," Winter snorted, going on. "I've never come close to that – and Tycho was confused, and I was mortified," she trailed off, swallowing hard. "He handled it fine but I – I felt ridiculous."
She uncrossed her ankles, and sighed heavily.
"It makes me feel better to know you've cried during sex, too," she muttered.
Leia grit her teeth and gave Winter an honest look, shrugging helplessly.
"Winter, I have plenty of times," she assured her. She hesitated, biting the tip of her tongue lightly, and went on: "There was one time with Han, in the shower, on the Falcon?" She swallowed tensely. "It was all fine, and then something triggered me," she held up one hand, a dry look on her face. "I cried, I made him stop," she listed, and shook her head. "It happens."
Winter nodded, her eyes soft with understanding, lips pursed hesitantly.
"I wasn't crying because he was hurting me," she said, "or because I've had trauma in the past, I," she made a face, her eyes narrowing. "Have you ever just – cried because you," Winter winced, and considered hiding her face – "…love him?"
"Yes," Leia said softly.
Her heart tightened a little, and she reached up to brush loose strands of hair back, her jaw aching as she unclenched her teeth.
"After my miscarriage," she said carefully, "it was hard to have sex without – crying," she admitted, "only for a little while. And I've had – times when I'm so, so," she waved her hand, trying to find words, "so – happy that he's – treated me well enough, and listened to me, and respected me enough that – I feel like I have my sexuality back," Leia pressed her hand to her heart. "It's hard not to get overwhelmed when you love someone what much," she said firmly.
Sitting in silence, she watched Winter relax a little, nodding, and then continued, deadpan –
"And then there are those handful of times I have cried because he is that good with his tongue."
Winter blinked, taken aback, and then burst out laughing, her eyes glittering. She tilted her head back, caught off guard, but pleased with the comment. Leia broke into a shaky, smug smile.
As her laughter faded, Leia cleared her throat.
"Winter," she said honestly, "it isn't that I don't want to scandalize you. It isn't that I don't think you can handle it or – I don't know," she murmured, with a short shrug. "I got past the things I needed to get past," she said gently, "and I'm okay. When there are very dark moments I have occasionally, I need Han because – he may not have been," she paused tensely, "raped – but he's been tortured," she said, "held captive, beaten, stripped of dignity, belittled," she listed, "he relates, more deeply than you can know, in at least some capacity. You only have a theoretical understanding of the trauma, an imagining."
Leia licked her lips.
"Han directly counteracts some of the more toxic thoughts that occur when I think I've been damaged or spoiled – I don't have those thoughts so much anymore, and I need that specifically from him sometimes," she said. "It's hard to explain."
Winter nodded slowly.
"I theoretically get it," she said dryly, referencing Leia's other words. "I mean I do get it. I have an ingrained, feminine understanding of what it would be like to lose autonomy like that, but no experience whatsoever, and if Han relates in the slightest, that draws you closer. I just want you to know that I am willing to be here. I am willing to listen – and I don't want us to grow apart," she said again.
Leia tilted our head.
"You know things may – will – never be quite exactly the same," she said bluntly. "They have never been so with Father, or Rouge, and with you and I it's no different – but that doesn't not make our sisterhood a lesser thing. I know I can tell you everything, Winter. I know that. I just don't always want to. It doesn't have much to do with you yourself."
Winter nodded, her head lolling back. She compressed her lips, humming to herself –
"I understand that perspective," she began slowly. "I – refrain from telling you about some fights I have with Ty, or some of his worse habits," she admitted, as if remembering, "because – I don't want to badmouth him in anger, and forget to tell you the good. So – I censor my life, too; marginally."
Leia nodded – and Winter sat forward, straightening up, and rubbing her neck. She pushed her own bowl out to the kaffe table as well, biting back a yawn, and glanced over at Leia sheepishly.
"I'm sorry if I – I hope I didn't say anything that rattled you," she said earnestly. "With, um, the Death Star – stuff."
Leia's lips twitched dryly.
"It takes more than that to rattle me these days," she said, "although I have been thinking of late that, considering how often it's discussed in politics and history, my inner circle ought to stop using 'the Death Star' as an ominous euphemism for my assault."
Winter gave her a grim nod, still rubbing her neck. She parted her lips, and her brow furrowed. She chewed on her lip, and then sat forward a little more, eyes on their abandoned fruit.
"Wine, let's just – finish the wine," she suggested, getting up to fetch it.
She poured them glasses – the tulip ones Leia had joked about earlier – and returned to the sofa, sitting down differently this time, mimicking Leia's position, and facing her. She started to say something, and then switched gears.
"You and Mon weren't talking about menses…" she quoted, as if just remembering it. She arched a brow. "…you talked to Han about your menses?"
Leia blinked, and then snorted – she certainly had; multiple times.
"Yes. I was on that implant. He was confused about me not bleeding on the way to Bespin."
"He was conf — he noticed? He asked?!"
Leia giggled.
"He actually did. Casually. 'Hey when are you gonna bleed? Cause I don't have anything.'" Leia paused, and snorted, as Winter said:
"I love your Han impression. It sounds nothing like him."
Leia stuck out her tongue before continuing:
"And then he wanted to know about the mechanics of that. I think he was afraid all the un-shed uterine blood was just lying in wait, biding its time until the implant came out and," Leia waved her hands dramatically, smirking. "You'd be surprised at how much he hears about it, now," she added, gesturing to her abdomen, "monthly bleeding becomes a hot topic when your man is trying to knock you up."
Winter cackled.
"What other girl talk things have you discussed with Han?"
"Luke's fashion choices," Leia deadpanned.
"Is Han for or against the tacky ponchos?"
"Han has been buying tacky ponchos for Luke every since he saw him wear the one Luke's Aunt Beru knit him – Han started buying them to make fun of him, but Luke always wears them, and at this point, I can't figure out if Luke is wearing them because he thinks Han is being genuine, and doesn't want to hurt him, or if Han is buying them because he's decided Luke actually looks good in them."
Winter arched her brows.
"I haven't heard a conundrum that circuitous since the Alderaanian Succession Crisis."
Leia grinned.
Winter started to take a sip of wine and then lowered her hand, her eyes wide.
"What would you have done if you did bleed on the way to Bespin, and Han didn't have anything?" she asked dramatically. "What if – "
Leia cringed.
"Not the 'what if' game," she requested.
"I suppose you could have fashioned the Sabacc cards into sanitary napkins, somehow," Winter went on. "Wrapped them in tissue, electrical tape them to your panties – you know, since you weren't using them to play Sabacc, like you tried to tell Pasha you were, so many moons ago."
Leia rolled her eyes.
"What else, pray tell, was I supposed to say when he asked what we were doing?"
Winter shrugged, tucking her nose into her wine glass.
"It was a dumbass thing for him to ask," she muttered.
Leia toasted to that.
"To dumb ass questions," she said, "and the Sabacc themed sanitary napkins I am now interested in patenting."
Winter nearly choked up her sparkling wine.
"And branding them as what – Princess Pads?" she retorted.
"No, they'll be branded after the appropriate card in the Sabacc deck – the Evil One," Leia said dryly.
Winter laughed again.
"There never was a better name for monthly bleeding," she said darkly, raising her glass again.
Leia smiled warmly, and leaned forward to take her bowl back, balancing it on her thigh again, and balancing her glass on the back of the sofa –
"We'll have to do this in your new place, next time," Winter said thoughtfully, looking around. "It will be a monumental affair, christening girls' night yet again – after you and Han christen the place, of course," she teased slyly.
"Every inch of it," Leia retorted boldly.
Winter whipped her head around smartly, and gave Leia a stern look.
"You'll have to let me know if you cry during any of the housewarming sex," she said loftily.
"Deal," Leia agreed seriously. "It won't be emotional crying, though – I'm bound to be in tears over all the rug burn."
Winter damn near howled with laughter, swaying her wine glass back and forth, and Leia leaned back against the sofa, a piece of fruit clasped primly between her teeth – and she was reassured despite everything that it was all as she had said a shift in the nuances of their sisterhood by no means meant they shared a lesser thing.
- this is the first thing i've written/posted from my brand new laptop! praise!
- there will only be five chapters of this anthology, so the next chapter may not appear for a while as i want it to be fitting, and a good ending!
-alexandra