"Spencer." He turned to look at the doctor, who seemed to have very exciting news.
"Yes?" Spencer asked.
"I think that you're getting better. I think it's time you leave."
Spencer let out a sigh of relief and adverted his eyes to the ceiling.
"You really think I'm getting better?"
"Yes. However, there is one thing I'm worried about."
Spencer turned his eyes back to the doctor.
"I'm worried that you'll be in another hospital and make another doctor go through the same scenario," the doctor kept on.
"I was talking about with my co-workers yesterday," Spencer replied. "We thought that it would be best if I checked into a rehabilitation center when we get home."
"Good. Glad to hear it."
A few minutes later, Spencer was standing on the concrete steps, looking at all of the sights he missed while lying in that hospital bed. Right there and then, Spencer made a promise to himself. He would not stop until he finally didn't want the diluadid anymore.
With the smile spread widely across his face, it vanished when he saw the last person he wanted to see at the moment, despite the fact he asked him to come. "Hi Dad."
Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting
"Spencer." That was all William could say. Of course, what happened after the last time the two saw each other, that might have been the only thing he could say. After all, Spencer did threaten to kill him. He still thought that his father deserved to die.
"Can we talk a walk?" William suggested.
"Yeah," Spencer replied. That would be nice."
The two walked down the garden area behind the hospital. They walked around, gazing at all of the flowers and shrubs, looking at all of the people walking in the beautiful area, and not one of them spoke a word for the longest time.
Spencer decided to break the silence.
"Why did you do it?"
"Do what?" William was starting to play dumb.
"You know what I'm talking about."
William sighed and turned his head to the ground.
"I don't know."
Spencer's eyes turned to rings of fire. His face was getting red from all of the anger building up inside him. He wanted to rage out at his father and murder him. But he didn't want the same incident that happened in the hospital to play out again.
"You don't know?" Spencer asked calmly.
I'm through, with doubt,
There's nothing left to figure out
I've paid a price, and I'll keep paying
"I know it sounds stupid," William replied, "and even a little childish, but I honestly don't know. I guess that I had enough of babying your mother."
"We needed you, Dad."
"I needed you guys too. But I felt that I needed to leave."
"So you just left us, for no reason, when we needed you the most, and you don't return?"
"I told you that it sounded stupid and childish."
The two went silent for a while. They continued to walk. Spencer forgot how beautiful the world could be. All of the drugs blinded him from the world. But now, he could see the beauty. He could see all of the beautiful sightings he never saw before.
"So," William said, breaking the peaceful silence. "How is your mom, anyways?"
Spencer shot his dad an odd look. He actually didn't know what happened to his mother? He didn't know that she was brutally murdered and just thrown in a room, like a piece of trash? He didn't know that the woman he married, the mother of his own child, was dead?
"You don't know?" Spencer asked.
"Know what?"
"She's dead."
I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should
A mixture of surprise and horror took over William's face. So he really didn't know. But how could he not know?
"How could you not know?" Spencer asked.
"I was out of town," William replied, still looking horrified and surprised. "That's why I didn't come until today. How-how did she die?"
"She was murdered."
"M-murdered? Who would murder your mother?"
"A serial killer."
"What?"
"Why else do you think I'm over here? We think that someone is going around, killing anyone with a mental illness, be it mental retardation, bipolar disease, or schizophrenia."
"Why would anyone do that?"
"Because they feel that they have to. All of the serial killers, they don't kill just because they can. They kill because they can't stop. They kill because it's an addiction."
"They were born with a psychological problem?"
"Yes."
"Then why would this person kill other people with psychological problems?"
"Because he probably doesn't realize that he has a psychological problem. He probably thinks he's a regular, every day guy, only with the worst possible addiction you could ever have.
I know you said
Can't you just get over it?
It turned my whole world around
And I kinda like it
"Why do you talk about it like an addiction?" William asked.
"Because it is for these people," Spencer replied.
"You know as much as I that people can't break addictions unless they get help."
Spencer knew what was coming up. His father would accuse him of the truth. He would accuse him of taking drugs.
"Spencer..."
"Yes Dad," he interrupted. "I do need help."
I made my bed, and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don't mind saying
It's a sad sad story
That a mother will teach her daughter
That she oughta be a perfect stranger
And how in the world
Can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they'd write me a letter
Saying that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over
William froze in the middle of the trail. Spencer stopped a few paces ahead and turned to look in his eyes. William seemed more scared than shocked. Spencer knew what his father was thinking. He was probably thinking that Spencer was taking the drugs for a long time and that the last time they met, when his mother fell down the stairs, he had just taken them.
Little did William know, Spencer actually meant what he said that day in the hospital. He hadn't touched any form of illegal substances until Tobias took him away, so he actually believed that his father deserved to die.
"I didn't get hooked until a few months ago," Spencer admitted.
"Why?" William asked. "Why did you take them?"
Spencer had heard this question too many times. He had answered this question too many times. He has explained how he got the memories of his mother through the drugs too many times.
"They reminded me of Mom," Spencer replied, his voice starting to crack.
I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should
"Mom!" Spencer came back home from working that day. Normally, a seventeen-year-old wouldn't get the job of assistant to the manager of a big corporation, but he had graduated from college and gotten three PHDs only a year before. It gave Spencer a rush, working from nine to five. To some people, it was torture, but to him, it seemed like a breath of fresh air. Then again, it was able to give him eight hours from his mother.
"I'm home, Mom!"
No answer.
"Mom?"
He searched. He couldn't find his mother. "Mom? Where are you, Mom?"
Spencer feared for the worse and thought that she ran away from home. Again. But, when he finally found her, it was worse than the time she ran away from the house.
She was lying at the bottom of the stairs. She was lying limply.
"Mom!"
Spencer raced over to her body and turned her over. She was still alive, but she was bruised real badly and possibly even broke her bones. He got up, ran for the phone, and quickly dialed.
"911," the operator said, "what is your emergency?"
"Send an ambulance over," Spencer said as calmly as he could. "My mother fell down the stairs."
I'm not ready to make nice,
I'm not ready to back down
I'm still mad as hell
And I don't have time
To go round and round and round
It's too late to make it right
I probably wouldn't if I could
Cause I'm mad as hell
Can't bring myself to do what it is
You think I should
Spencer turned back and looked at his father. "Let's go back," he suggested. "I should get going."
The two walked all the way back to the hospital parking lot without saying a word to each other. When they arrived at the parking lot and at William's car, they froze and looked at each other. "It was great seeing you," William said.
"Great seeing you too," Spencer replied. "I'll see you later."
"Hopefully soon."
William opened the car door, stepped in, and turned it on. He rolled down the window and looked at his son. "I'm really sorry," he told Spencer.
"Yeah. Me too."
William rolled the window up and drove away. Spencer stood by and watched his father, leaving his life once again. He turned around, heading to hail a cab, when he saw Hotch standing right behind him.
"Your Dad?" he asked.
"Yeah. The one who walked out and never came back."
"Looks like he came back today."
"Only because I called and asked him."
"Spencer..."
He looked up at the older man. He realized that Hotch had some important news. And Spencer already knew what it was.
"You found him, didn't you?" Spencer asked. "You found the person who killed my mom?"
Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I'm not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I'm still waiting