Sherlock jumped off the couch and ran into the kitchen. "What do we do? We're not ready!"
Joan had a look of terror on her face. "Do we pretend we aren't home?"
"He's probably already seen the lights on in the parlor…" Sherlock started pacing.
Another knock, harder this time, sounded at the door.
Joan swiftly left the kitchen and Sherlock followed close on her heels. "We have to let him in…"
Sherlock nodded slightly and bit his lip. "What are we going to do?"
"Lie our asses off." She muttered. Joan put her hand on the knob.
"This better work." Sherlock brushed his shirt with his hands to clean off the crumbs and dirt.
Joan took a deep breath and met his gaze. "Ready?"
Sherlock took a deep breath too and nodded. "Ready."
Joan opened the door and put on her best fake smile. "Hello, Trent."
Trent smiled. "Hello Joan, Sherlock. I'm sorry I'm so early…I was in the neighborhood."
"No worries." Joan opened the door wider and let him in. She closed the door behind him and Sherlock took his coat to hang it up.
"I hope I didn't interrupt anything…" Trent laughed and sat down on the couch.
Sherlock cocked his head to the side. "What do you mean…?"
"I knocked twice…I hope I didn't interrupt anything." Trent smiled.
"Oh…Oh! No. You didn't interrupt anything. I was just telling Sherlock that I heard someone knocking! He, of course, didn't believe me." Joan rolled her eyes.
"Well, I'm usually right darling." Sherlock countered.
Trent looked back and forth between them and shifted his posture on the couch, clearly uncomfortable.
Joan cleared her throat. "Well, I'll start setting the table…Dinner is almost ready." She turned to leave but paused. "I could use some help, dear." She nodded towards Sherlock.
"Oh, of course." He turned his head to look at Trent. "Make yourself comfortable. We'll call you in when the table is set and the meal is ready." Sherlock smiled and followed Joan to the kitchen.
When they were safely in the kitchen, Sherlock pulled Joan behind the divider between the kitchen and parlor.
"What was that?" Sherlock crossed his arms.
"What was what?" Joan asked innocently.
" 'I told him someone was at the door. Of course he didn't believe me.'" Sherlock imitated her voice mockingly.
"Well technically, it's not a lie. You never believe me." She smirked.
Sherlock rolled his eyes and turned to get the plates from the counter. He set them on the table as Joan got the spaghetti off the stove and the cake out of the oven. She set them on top of the cooling rack and got three glasses from the cupboard. Joan put the glasses by the plates Sherlock had set out. She made her way back to the counter to give the spaghetti one last stir as Sherlock walked up behind her.
Sherlock leaned in and whispered in her ear. "Don't freak out, okay?"
Joan was about to speak but was caught off guard when Sherlock planted a kiss on her cheek.
"I'm so lucky to have a wife as great as you." Sherlock gave her head another kiss and turned to the archway in the kitchen. "Oh, Trent. I didn't see you there…"
"Don't mind me. Smells good, Joan. You must be one hell of a cook." He smiled.
"Oh she is." Sherlock placed his arm around her shoulders and gave her a light shake to wake her from her shock.
"Oh, thank you." She gave a slight smile and brought the pot of spaghetti to the table. "Take a seat, Trent. Dinner is ready." She tried to look at Sherlock but he was too focused on putting the silverware out. Joan set the pot down on a hot-pad and was about to pull a chair out when Sherlock stopped her.
"Here, I got it." He pulled the chair out for her and she took a seat.
Trent smiled warmly and placed a napkin across his lap. "Do I just dig in?"
"Yes, please." Joan wanted everyone to just stop talking. She was regretting doing this for Sherlock. She had never told a lie this big to anyone, especially not someone who could ruin her life completely. She didn't want Sherlock acting so sweet and lovey-dovey, and really didn't want Trent to see how uncomfortable she was.
Trent loaded his plate with spaghetti and took a huge bite. "Mmmm." He nodded and swallowed. "This is good, really good."
"It really is." Sherlock nodded in agreement. He took another bite and smiled.
Joan nodded and looked down at her plate. She twirled her fork around in the noodles and zoned out.
Trent wiped his mouth with his napkin and sighed. "Alright, as good as that was, I need to start assessing this situation."
Joan snapped out of it and looked up.
"So my first question is, are you two committing fraud so Sherlock doesn't have to leave the country?" Trent laid his hands on the table.
"What? No. What would make you think that?" Sherlock asked in fake state of shock.
"Well for one, you introduced her as Ms. Watson, not Mrs. Holmes when I first came here." Trent arched his eye brows and grinned internally. He thought he had uncovered their little sham.
"Well the reason for that is, nobody knows about it yet." Sherlock looked to Joan for help.
"That's right. Nobody, not even my family, knows yet. You see, we eloped so we wouldn't have to deal with the family drama." Joan reached across the table and took Sherlock's hand. She felt him tense up at first but after a moment, he relaxed under her touch.
He squeezed her hand and brought it to his lips. He kissed her hand and smiled. "We were planning on telling my family and her family next week over dinner. We didn't know that something like this would come up though." He lowered their intertwined hands to the table but kept a firm hold on her small hand.
"Okay…Would you be able to produce a copy of your marriage certificate?" Trent clenched his fists. He knew, deep down, that they were lying.
"Of course. I could show it to you now if you'd like." Sherlock pulled out his phone from his pocket.
"That would be great, thank you." Trent received the phone and peered at it skeptically. "So, how long have you two been married?"
"Two months." Joan replied as Sherlock squeezed her hand twice, informing her of the right answer.
"Hmmm." Trent locked Sherlock's phone and put it on the table. He bit the inside of his mouth and thought of another question.
Sherlock looked at Joan and nodded with a smile on his face. He wanted her to be reassured about the whole lying situation. He knew she was uncomfortable with everything.
"Who married you two?" Trent asked.
"Mr. Ryan Owen. Call him if you don't believe us." Sherlock nodded towards his phone.
"No, that's alright." Trent stood. "Dinner was great, Joan. We should do this again."
"Well, no offense, but I hope we don't." Sherlock laughed.
"He means that he doesn't want to go through this again. Deportation scares him and me. I couldn't bear to be without him." Joan explained as she saw Trent's confused expression. Joan was serious; she was scared that he would be deported. She didn't want him to leave her.
"Well, we might have to." Trent walked towards the counter and began cutting the unfrosted cake.
"Why?" Sherlock stood, still holding Joan's hand.
"Well to tell you the truth, I don't believe you at all. It's extremely easy these days to fake a marriage certificate and the fact that you haven't told your family that you two are married is extremely suspicious…and unbelievable." Trent turned around and took a fork-full of cake. He lifted it to his mouth and ate it.
"Like my wife said, we didn't want to deal with the family drama so we eloped. What is so hard to believe?" Sherlock kept holding Joan's hand as she rose from her chair and stood beside him.
"What is hard to believe is that nobody knows about you two and you don't have anything from your so called 'wedding' to show me." Trent placed the empty plate on the table and wiped his mouth on his sleeve.
"We could find pictures…" Joan tried but Trent put his hands up to stop her.
"No. Don't even. You're lying and you know it." Trent took a step towards them and narrowed his eyes. "Trust me, once I get evidence to support that I'm right about this marriage being a sham, I will take you both down. Joan will go to jail for fraud and Sherlock will be deported back to London. You may be safe for now Sherlock, you may have found a loop-hole, but you will never get away with this. I will expose you two…no matter how long it takes, I will expose you two as the frauds you are."
Joan turned pale and Sherlock squeezed her hand to give her reassurance.
"I think you should leave." Sherlock glared at Trent.
Without another word, Trent turned and left the Brownstone.
Joan stood, frozen in place. "I'm going to jail…that's it…I'm going to jail for the rest of my life."
"No you're not." Sherlock let go of her hand and turned her towards him. "I'll make sure you don't go to jail." He placed his hands on her shoulders and she looked up into his eyes. "Don't worry, Joan. I'll tell him that it was my idea and you had no part in it. You will not go to jail because of me." He turned to go after Trent and explain everything but Joan grabbed his arm.
"No. I got us into this…I'm going to get us out of it." Joan grabbed his hand and smiled.
Sherlock replicated her smile. "We'll both get each other out of this." He squeezed her hand back.
"I mean, we're Holmes and Watson…we can fool anyone." Joan winked.
Sherlock grinned. "Mr. and Mrs. Holmes, the perfect team."
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