This chapter based on Who You Are by Jessie J. Enjoy : )
Athena:
They seen my memories. Damn. It was bad enough that I lived them, but to go back and remember every detail. Every feeling and emotion I felt. It pained me. But, oh well. It didn't kill me it made me stronger.
I remember what my mother said: "You're loosing yourself. In the stars. You look up, and wish on a star. That never actually works. Never. Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing. It's okay, to not be okay. Sometimes it's hard, I get it. But you can cry. Tears don't mean you're loosing, giving up, everybody's bruising. Just be true to yourself. There's nothing wrong with who you are."
And, boy, she was wrong. She'd told me that when she first saw all my cuts. We were at the doctors. They were examining the cuts to make sure they weren't infected. They weren't, but they counted my cuts. I had seventy-five cuts. Ten on each of my arms and wrist. Five on each of my shoulders and forearms. Five on both sides of my stomach. And the rest on my inner thighs.
I could've died, the doctor told us. I lost a lot of blood. And the fact that I refused to eat anything... My mother used to call me 'Crab'. I asked her why one day and she said, "When crabs sense danger they retreat into their selves, their shells. That's what you do."
True. 'Cuz, what I learned, you can't trust anybody. Even yourself. Because at times you turn into your own worst enemy.
I heard movement and flexed my shoulders. A habit of mines. I was in the forest, up in one of the trees.
"Athena," It was Elena, "I know you're here."
I jumped down from the tree. "Stalking me now?"
"No..." She sighed. "After you left, I don't know, a screen popped up. Showed us more of your memories."
"And?" I asked, bored.
"I asked Bonnie about it, and she told me that she did a spell."
"Huh. What spell?"
"Um.. The name of it was, something like, Understanding Spell."
I nodded slightly. I've heard of that spell. It shows people's memories, so that you'd understand where they come from, why they act the way they do.
"You defended me."
"I always did." I shrugged. "Nothing special."
"No." Elena said. "When that big fat girl was bullying me, after I ran away crying you came and punched her in the face. You guys ended up fighting, and somehow y'all ended up fighting in the middle of the street – because you dragged her." She swallowed. "You got hit by a car, because of me."
"I got hit by that damn car because I decided to drag that bitch, like she was my life size rag doll."
"You didn't have to do that."
"Of course I did."
"You risked your life for me. Over nothing."
"So, you getting bullied is nothing?"
"Half of the times you've been in the hospital, you've been there because you were protecting me."
"Yes, and?"
"Why?"
I hate this. I hate this conversation. I hate emotions. They make the human being weak. Useless. Worthless.
I looked Elena in the eye. "No matter how much you hate me, you'll always be my sister. Till the day I, or you, die I will protect you."
A tear slipped down Elena cheek, and she hugged me. I let her. And lately I've been letting people do a lot of things.
….
"Hi, mommy!" The twins squealed.
I almost smiled. "Hi babies."
Prudence looked out the window. "It's raining."
I looked at the rain. The three of us smiled. I sent a thought into their mind, Singing and dancing in the rain?
Tey smiled big. Yes.
"Go put your rain boots and stuff on."
They nodded and ran along.
Damon came up behind me. "Where you taking them?"
"Outside."
"Outside where?"
I turned to look at him. "Just outside."
"What do you plan on doing outside? It's raining."
"No shit, Sherlock Holmes." I bit back a snarl. "We're just going to play in the rain. Is that okay with you?"
"Sure."
"Ready!" Tey exclaimed.
Prue glared at Damon, but smiled at me. "Ready."
I opened the door and ran into the rain, human speed, and started singing.
I stare at my reflection in the mirror.
Why am I doing this to myself?
Loosing my mind on a tiny error.
I nearly left the real me on the shelf.
No, no, no, no, no.
Everyone was watching us. Prue smiled and jumped in the rain, followed by Tey, staring at the stars.
Don't lose it all in the blur of the stars.
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing.
It's okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
See where my mother got it from?
I smiled as Teyana danced in the rain, singing.
Tears don't mean you're losing.
Everybody's bruising.
Just be true to who you are.
The three of us sang together.
Who you are, who you are, who you are.
Who you are, who you are, who you are.
Who you are, who you are, who you are.
I finger combed my wet hair, and looked up at the dark sky.
Brushing my hair, do I look perfect?
I forgot what to do to fit the mold, yeah.
The more I try the less it's working, yeah, yeah, yeah.
'Cause everything inside me screams
No, no, no, no,no.
Prue held hands with Tey and danced around in circles, around me.
Don't lose it all in the blur of the stars.
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing.
It's okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart.
Tey shook her wet hair.
But tears don't mean you're losing.
Everybody's bruising.
There's nothing wrong with who you are.
We all froze and stared up at the night sky. I was crying and was glad that it was raining. I closed my eyes and let the emotions flow out of me.
Yes, no's, egos, fake show like boom
Just go and leave me alone.
Real talk, real life, good luck, good night.
With a smile, that's my home, that's my home, no
No, no, no, no
Prue held her arms up and sung loud with all her might.
Don't lose it all in the blur of the stars.
Seeing in deceiving, dreaming is believing.
It's okay not to be okay.
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart
Tey held me and Prue hands, and looked directly at me.
Tears don't mean you're losing.
Everybody's bruising.
Just be true to who you are.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I smiled at my daughters, then closed my eyes. What a perfect boding moment. But it's over now.