Summary: Through all of the secrets and the lies, the betrayal and the pain, the destination was always the same. They were meant to be together.

Author's Note: What do you guys think of the new summary? I figured it was appropriate since this story has deviated so far off course from where it started. Because, you know, cute date night kind of turned into angsty-morning-after. But I digress. On with the story...

Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine. And neither is the post I based this off of.

Chapter 4

If Kate had been miserable the past three days, Castle was faring only slightly better, and only because he was not plagued with guilt on top of everything else. And as if that was not enough, he was tormented with the feeling of what of felt like to kiss her, to fall asleep and wake with her in his arms. Those images haunted his dreams, leaving him restless and drained.

His days passed in a whirlwind of emotions and he spent the majority of his time writing, trying to get it all down on paper. Most of it was gibberish, nothing that would ever go beyond his computer screen, but it provided him a way to work through his feelings

The initial anger had faded, giving way mostly to betrayal and pain, mixed with some strange blend of elation at the fact that Kate Beckett loved him.

He understood her decision; personally, he never would have handled it that way, but he understood. That was the way Kate worked. When she could not deal with something, she ran, hid from it. It was something she would have to promise to work on, and it would be a while before he could completely trust that it would not happen again.

It probably was not the best way to go about this, but at least it gave them a place to start.

Castle was roused from his jumbled thoughts by a distant knocking sound. He blinked his eyes open, looking around in confusion. He was sitting at his desk, laptop asleep in front of him. The last thing he remembered was writing furiously while drinking some scotch. Apparently he had dozed off for a while, though with no structure to his days, he really had no concept of time.

He sat up straighter, forced himself to located the source of the pounding; it appeared to be coming from the general vicinity of the entryway. Someone at the door, perhaps?

Alexis had already left for school...he vaguely recalled her kissing his cheek on her way out the door. His mother was probably still in bed, completely unaware of the sound. So who could be at his door at...he squinted at the clock...seven thirty in the morning?

Castle pushed himself up, straightening his clothing and running a hand through his hair as he made his way to the front door. Had he already had a cup of coffee, he would have thought to check the peephole first. But in his current half-awake state, he simply fumbled with the lock, opening the door to find...

"Beckett."

"Castle."

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm here for my partner," she answered honestly, squarely meeting his eyes. "And I know I have no right to be here because you asked for space, but I just..." she held out a cup of coffee to him. "I miss you."

He took the cup from her outstretched hand, careful not to brush her fingers with his, and took a long drink, feeling the caffeine flood his system, waking his brain more fully.

"Can I come in?" she asked finally.

He silently stepped back, allowed her to enter and shut the door behind her. She took a couple of steps in his direction but stopped, standing a couple feet from him in the foyer, awkward silence descending over the pair.

"Beckett..."

"I'm sorry," she blurted, allowing the words to pour out before her brain caught up and had a chance to censor her mouth. "I've said that a hundred times and I know it's not enough. But I'm so sorry. And I know I have no right to ask for your forgiveness and for you to give us a chance, but...please, Rick."

Kate steadfastly held his gaze as though daring him to turn her away again. The silence stretched as he contemplated the best way to convey his convoluted feelings, to say what he needed to say without making things worse. It was probably something she did not want to hear, but given what she had done, he felt he deserved to be straightforward and unyielding in his requests.

"All the times since last summer that I've wanted to look you in the eyes and say it again, Kate," Castle said finally, setting his coffee on the small table by the door with an unceremonious thud, "and I didn't, for your sake. But you knew, all this time. You lied, more than once. And this," he gestured between them, "will never work if we can't be honest with each other."

He was well aware of the hypocrisy of his statement, but that was an issue for another time.

"I know," she agreed, setting her coffee next to his. "That's why I came clean."

"I realize that," he said finally.

The fact that she had told him, the fact that she was here right now, fighting for him, said more than any of her apologies had. Showed that he was not the only one willing to fight for them. And perhaps it was that more than anything else that was the turning point for him.

"And I understand why you did what you did," he continued, his eyes boring into her with a seriousness she was not used to. "I really do, Kate. But you have to promise me it won't ever happen again."

"I'll work on it..."

"I need a promise, Kate. I need your word. I don't care how hard it is, I don't care how much you want to run from whatever the issue is, I need you to promise me that you won't. Because if I'm not the one who can help you through whatever life throws your way, no matter what it is, then there shouldn't be an 'us.'"

It was a scary thing, promising to face everything head on, promising to open up to him and rely on him when she was so used to handling things on her own. But he deserved everything she had to give and more. And she owed that to him, to them.

Kate reached out, took his free hand in hers, met his eyes. "I promise, Rick."

He nodded, squeezed her hand. "Okay. Then I forgive you, Kate."

She took his other hand then, pulled him to her and wrapped her arms around his neck. Castle stepped into her embrace, his arms coming to rest on her lower back, her face seeking refuge in the crook of his neck.

"Thank you," she said on an exhale, her warm breath fanning out across the skin of his neck and making him shiver slightly. Ordinarily, Kate would have smirked, made a snarky comment, but under these circumstances, she barely noticed. All that mattered was that she was in his arms again.

They stayed there, wrapped up in each other's arms for a good five minutes, just reveling in the feeling of being close. This level of physical contact between them was a very recent thing, but there was something so familiar and comforting about it that Kate was in no hurry to leave his embrace. She did not know how he did it, but his proximity made everything better.

At long last, they separated, unsure of how to proceed.

"So, now what?" Castle asked to break the awkwardness.

"I...don't know."

"Are we..." he gestured haphazardly.

"Together?" she finished for him.

"Are we?"

"I thought that was what you wanted."

"I do, I just...I wasn't sure you were ready."

"I am," she replied, though the hints of vulnerability in her voice made her answer less-than-convincing.

"Kate..."

"No, really," she amended quickly. "Look, if we waited until I thought I was completely ready to face this, nothing would ever happen. But I'm ready to give it a shot and work through things and deal with my feelings and fight for this and..."

She was cut off by a sudden lack of air supply as Castle's arms wrapped tightly around her, pulling her into this chest.

"I'm so in love with you that it's terrifying, Rick." she murmured once she had regained her breath, "but I am going to do everything in my power to make this work."

She felt his lips on her cheek then, trailing down her jaw before finally capturing her lips with his, kissing her with everything he had.

The pain was still there, buried deep down inside of him, but it would fade with time. And for the first time since their fight, love was the prevailing emotion, strong enough that it would hold them together while she worked to fully regain his trust. Strong enough to prove to both of them that they could survive whatever might threaten to tear them apart in the future.

At long last, he pulled away, resting his forehead against hers while their heart rates returned to normal. One hand came up to trace the line of her jaw, lingering on her neck, his fingers playing with wisps of her hair.

Blue eyes met brown ones, staring into their depths and allowing her to do the same, holding nothing back.

"I love you, too, Kate."

She had no idea how long they stood there, sharing soft kisses and gentle caresses, before the ringing of her phone drew them from the bubble into which they had settled.

Kate stepped back, fishing her cell out of her pocket with one hand while retrieving her coffee with the other.

Just like that, she was all business again. Except for the faint tinge of pink that colored her cheeks.

"Beckett."

"Yo, boss, we got a fresh one," came Esposito's voice from the other end of the line.

"Okay, text me the address. We'll meet you there."

"We?" Of course he would pick up on that part of her statement.

"Yes, Espo."

"You doing all right?"

Kate bit back a smile. It was sweet, really, and she loved Espo to death. But she was so not having this conversation when Castle was standing a few inches away, trying to listen in.

"Yeah, I am. I'll see you in a few."

She hung up and pocketed her phone before he could press for anything more, but by the smirk on Castle's face, she knew he had heard most of it anyways.

"Go...shower," she demanded, flapping her arms in the direction of his bedroom. "You are not going to a crime scene looking like that."

"You don't like my bedhead look?"

She reached out, ruffled his hair. "That's not the bad part." She lowered her arm, thumbed a smudge of lip gloss from his cheek. "I'm more worried about this."

He opened his mouth, probably to make some kind of teasing comment, but Kate spoke first.

"Go." She leaned in, planted one last kiss on his lips. "I'll see you in a few."

And with that, she left in a whirl of hair and cherries and swaying hips that made Castle doubt that he was going to make it through the day without dragging her into a supply closet and doing things to her that were completely inappropriate for the workplace.

Somehow, he managed to survive the entire day without pulling her into any dark spaces...mainly due to a lack of free time and the tiredness in her eyes that spoke to not really being in the mood. The last three days had left both of them emotionally drained and sleep-deprived, and pushing the limits right now was probably not a good idea.

Not to mention the fact that he still was not entirely sure what was going on between them. Yes, she had said she was ready to give this a shot. Yes, she had kissed him that morning...very enthusiastically so...and told him she loved him. But they had not discussed anything beyond that.

Castle was fairly certain that she would want to keep things low profile, especially around Gates and in the public eye. She never had been one for publicity and the captain did not need any more reason to want him gone. And though he had never before been shy about being seen out and about or in the papers with a woman, with Kate, he was hesitant.

She was not a public figure, was not some random woman he would be seen with at just one publicity event. She was his partner, his best friend, the woman he was madly in love with. And now that he knew that her heart belonged to him, he wanted to keep it that way, just between the two of them, for as long as possible.

Just he and Kate. Together.

They really needed to talk, though. She had already mentioned something about ground rules at the precinct and about needing to make sure his family was okay with it.

However, that was not to be taken care of tonight. The early call had turned into an entire day of sorting through financials, phone records, even the victim's computer, in order to figure out what could have gotten a seemingly upstanding citizen into so much trouble with the wrong people.

The search was to no avail, though, and by eight o'clock, Kate called it off, sending the boys home as well. Her eyes were going buggy, her head hurt from lack of sleep, and Castle looked at exhausted as she felt.

"Are you headed home?" he asked softly as they slid into their coats.

She nodded. "Come with me?"

Castle debated. It was a Thursday night. Alexis was home, probably doing physics problems that made his head hurt just to look at them. His mother would be wrapping up her last classes by now and should be heading home soon. They would be fine for the night. Maybe it made him a bad father for putting his family second, but right now, he really wanted to be with Kate. Wanted to fall asleep with her again, experience the amazing feeling of waking up with her in his arms, her warm breath caressing his skin.

"Yeah, okay. Let me just call Alexis."

Kate gathered up her keys and phone, made her way to the elevator with Castle on her heels.

"Hey sweetie," she heard him say. "Yes, I am...yes, I already ate...mmhmm...is Gram home? Okay, I'll see you tomorrow...no, I'm not...yes...I think so, yes...me too...okay, goodnight, sweetie."

He replaced the phone in his pocket, looked up to find Kate watching him hesitantly.

"What?"

"She figured it out, didn't she?"

Castle shrugged. "She's a smart kid."

"We have to tell them soon...they're your family, Rick."

He linked his pinky with hers, leaning closer as the elevator door closed. "Tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"What about your Dad?"

"We're supposed to have lunch on Saturday." Kate looked up at him, eyes hopeful. "You should come."

He could not help himself, leaned down and dropped a kiss on her lips. He could see the effort she was putting forth, see her trying to open up to him. "I'd like that."

The elevator dinged, signaling its arrival and they stepped apart, schooled their features. To anyone who knew them, though, the linked pinkies would have been a dead giveaway.

They made their way out to her car, weaving their way through the throngs of people without breaking contact. They had to disconnect to get into the car, but the moment both were buckled in, Castle's hand made its way to her thigh, resting there gently as his fingers fiddled with the inseam of her jeans.

Kate bit her lip as she pulled into traffic, trying to suppress a shiver, but she could not hide the way the muscles twitched under his touch. She expected him to smirk, to make some kind of comment, but when she stole a glance at him, he was looking out the window, watching the city go by with a soft smile on his face.

She dropped a hand to his, wound their fingers together with the palm of her hand pressed into the back of his. Castle's smile widened, and as she glanced at him again and met his eyes, hers did as well.

They remained in that position the rest of the way home, Kate absentmindedly playing with his fingers. Neither spoke, but the silence was not at all uncomfortable.

Once they were out of the car and making their way into her building, however, Castle could hold back no longer. His hand went to the small of her back, guiding her through the door and into the lobby. He crowded into her as they waited for the elevator. And when the doors closed, she found herself pressed up against the wall, his large body surrounding her as he lowered his mouth to hers.

Kate responded eagerly, her lips melding with his, tongue poking out to tease his lower lip. Her hands rose to grip his shoulders, holding herself upright. His came to rest on her hips, exerting just enough pressure to cause the heat to flare in her stomach. His fingers were caressing her hipbones, and the way his large hands spanned her hips was just...

No. No, Kate. Not going there tonight. And certainly not in the elevator.

She was purposely trying to keep this kiss under control, because while she wanted nothing more than to fall naked into bed with him and not sleep a wink, she was exhausted and seriously needed to just go to sleep for a good twelve hours.

Castle seemed to sense that, though and pulled back with one last chaste peck.

"I've been wanting to do that all day," he admitted, his voice laced with the beginnings of arousal that sent another wave of heat through her.

Kate dropped her forehead to his shoulder, breathing him in. "Me too."

The doors opened too soon and they separated to a respectable distance...sort of. His left hand was laced with her right (when had that happened?) and he was so close to her that he was practically stepping on her feet. But Kate did not seem to mind, so he stayed.

Castle vaguely registered them entering her apartment, leaving their coats and shoes by the door. He watched her grab a glass of water from the kitchen, followed her to her room a minute later. His eyes were glued to her as she stored her badge and gun, removed her watch and necklace. She slipped into the bathroom to go about her nightly routine and it was only then that Castle forced himself to focus.

Part of it was exhaustion, because yes, he was just as tired as she was. Part of it was nerves because while this was not the first night he had spent with Kate, this was the first one that was planned. And she was letting him into her bed, though not in that way just yet. But most of the reason for his dazed state was simply the overwhelming events of the last few days. He had gone from furious and heartbroken to tired and upset to happy and in love in the last ninety-six hours. Mix in a smattering of dead bodies and stacks of papers, and it was a weird combination that he was not quite sure how to deal with.

In fact, Castle was pretty sure his brain still had not fully processed the fact that Kate Beckett was in love with him.

She emerged a few moments later, pajama-clad and ready for bed. Castle took his turn then, snagging her around the waist as they passed each other and planting a short but powerful kiss on her lips that left her heart pounding. God, why did she have to be so exhausted?

Shaking her head to clear the thought, she turned down the covers, settled into bed and set her alarm. Castle joined her after a couple of minutes, climbing into bed next to her and scooting right up behind her. His arm came up and over her waist, his palm pressing gently against her stomach. The muscles fluttered under his touch and he pulled her more tightly against him in response.

Kate twined her fingers with his, holding her to him as his other arm slid beneath her head. She nuzzled into his bicep, brushed her lips lightly across his skin.

"Night, Castle," she murmured, relaxing against him and allowing his warmth to envelop her.

He pressed a kiss to the back of her neck, felt her shiver. "Until tomorrow, Kate."

Thoughts?