Quinn glanced at her phone. It was enough for her to see who was sending the text to throw it on the passenger side, without even reading it.
"What's going on, Q?" Santana asked.
Quinn looked briefly in the rear-view mirror. The Latina was resting in Brittany's arms, and sprawled against one another like that, they seemed to be comfortable.
"Nothing, I thought I had a message."
"Quinn, how long?" Brittany complained.
"I have absolutely no idea," she answered with a shrug. "Maybe we even missed the place."
"No way. There's a path on the left, you can't miss it." Santana said stretching lazily.
"And how do you know that exactly?" Quinn asked on a mocking tone.
"Well, I'm still in touch with Mercedes, unlike others," Santana snapped back.
Quinn didn't answer anything and settled for scanning the road to make sure she wouldn't miss said path. She heard furious whispers behind her, followed by a softer murmur, and guessed Brittany was trying to calm Santana down to make her forget the biting answer she was about to throw at her. It always worked, and this time was no different. She heard a giggle and the two girls spent the rest of the journey babbling on the back seats. The path Santana was talking about was finally in sight two hours later and Quinn took it carefully, slightly skeptic regarding this house's location. When the car finally left the forest, the blonde could see it was the right one. The cottage was right there, in the middle of the prairie, and in front of it she recognized Sam's old car, parked near a gleaming blue van. Throat tied with apprehension, she drove there and parked the car between the two other ones.
"It's Brittany's car!" She heard someone screaming somewhere above her, and recognized Mercedes' voice.
Brittany and Santana barely had time to get out of the car that they were plagued by what looked like overexcited kids. Observing them silently in the rear-view mirror, Quinn recognized Sam, then Mike and Mercedes, and finally Kurt. Behind them, she spotted Tina and Blaine carrying Artie in his wheelchair. With a tensed sigh, she unbuckled her seat-belt and observed herself in the mirror, trying to fix her hair a bit. Eventually, taking one last breath, she opened the door and got out of the car.
She had considered every possible reaction during the journey. She had imagined an awkward silence, hostile looks, even a complete indifference. Instead of it, seeing her only seemed to double her hosts' excitement. Sam was the first one to make his way towards her and before she had time to greet him politely, he wrapped his arms and held her affectionately. Quinn wanted to cry and hold onto him even tighter. When they broke apart, she found herself unable to do anything besides contemplate him, throat tied.
"It's great that you came, Quinn, it's gonna be awesome!" He breathed out with a wide smile.
"Sam," she eventually managed to say. "Your hair. It's beautiful!"
"Thanks," he answered, slightly embarrassed, forcing his hands into his jeans' pockets.
Quinn spotted Mercedes behind him, waving at her to join them, and as soon as she walked away from the cars, the young woman was pulling her in a warm hug.
"You'll thank your dad for allowing us to stay here," she whispered.
"Eh, no problem!" Mercedes reassured her with a casual wave of the hand. "You're always welcome, Quinn, it's almost empty without you!"
"Don't be stupid, it's been over two years since I left your house."
"So what?" Mercedes replied with a shrug. "You can never forget Quinn Fabray. Our favorite time of the day was to watch you eat your bacon in the morning!"
Quinn didn't know what to answer to this, so she simply smiled.
"Yo, Baby Mama!" She heard someone calling behind her.
…
…
"Stop calling me that!" She hissed, turning around.
Puck was standing there, between two sections, and was wearing his eternal swagger. Quinn wanted to kick him between the legs to make him understand he better not play with fire.
"Oh, relax!" The boy exclaimed. "You like Soccer Mombetter?"
"Shut it, Puckerman!"
She observed him a moment, defensively.
"What are you doing here?"
"Buying DVDs," he explained with a shrug. "That's what everyone does here, isn't it?"
She didn't answer and continued to stare at him in suspicion.
"By the way, I didn't really have achance to tell you," Puck continued a little bit unsure. "But I like this haircut. It's cool."
She touched her hair, still not used to the draft on her neck.
"What do you want?" She asked coldly.
"What?"
"Why are you complimenting my hair? Do you have something to ask?"
He opened his mouth to answer but she cut him off straight away by raising her hand:
"No, actually you know what; I don't even want to know. I know you want something. It's not like we spent the whole year without sharing a word and that all of a sudden you're complimenting me on my hair, right? If your intention is sincere –which is not the case-, just go talk to Brittany; she's the one who chose this haircut for me."
Puck stared at her, kind of lost.
"Yeah, um, ok. But I really think this haircut looks good on you."
"Cool."
Just in the tone of her voice, Puck could guess it wasn't cool at all. She scanned the storebefore paying attention to the boy again, standing two steps away.
"Anything else or can I go?"
"What? Well, uh…"
Puck scratched his neck, puzzled.
"I hope we'll see each other again during summer break," he finally said with uncertainty.
"Yeah. Whatever."
She turned on her heels and disappeared behind a shelf.
They didn't see each other after that.
…
…
She turned around slowly and found that same swagger.
"Hey." She said calmly.
Puck was taken aback by Quinn's dull eyes, so much that he forgot to engage on a random conversation and when he pulled himself together, she had already turned toward Artie and Tina to greet them warmly. He looked for Santana and found her clinging on Brittany's arm, busy talking with Mike, Mercedes and Sam.
"Hey, Lopez!" He called.
The Latina turned around.
"Puckerman."
She gave him a disdainful look, before looking back at the joyful blonde, who was talking heatedly about the coming speleology expedition. Seeing she wasn't willing to let go of her girlfriend to come and talk to him, Puck walked closer and whispered in her ear:
"What's the matter with Quinn?"
The teenager whipped abruptly to stare at him with what looked like aversion, before observing Quinn. The young woman was calmly talking with Tina, but she still had this same faraway look in her eyes, almost glassy. Puck couldn't even find the words to describe it.
"Quinn is sad."
The two jolted, not having noticed Brittany who had joined their low mass. Santana shrugged.
"Yeah, I don't know what it is, but something isn't running smoothly with her."
"San!" Brittany snubbed gently.
The brunette softened and looked at her with an apologetic smile. Puck observed them staring at each other for a while before suddenly asking:
"Next time you do it, can I watch?"
"Puckerman!"
…
…
…
The sun was starting to disappear when they were done unloading the cars. Mike and Sam helped Artie unpack all of his electronic equipment and it took them a bit more than an hour to plug everything. When Quinn walked in the small restroom adjoining the living-room, she stared at all the cables on the floor and the furniture with perplexity tainted with skepticism.
"You're afraid to get bored without a PS3?" She asked with a deadpan sense of humor, sitting on the couch near Mike.
"It's much more serious than that," Artie explained, typing on his keyboard. "With all of this, we won't lose you during your expedition."
Brittany arrived in the room, bouncing.
"What are you doing?" She asked sitting on an armchair.
"They're explaining what they're going to do with all of this," Quinn explained looking up at her.
"So, I should have enough GPS to track you," Artie continued. "Here, I have mini cameras to put on your helmets, here there are antennas to hang on your backpacks to keep contact and here I have mics in case the cameras stop working."
"I didn't understand a word but it sounds awesome!" Brittany said happily.
"This is completely useless," Quinn commented with arrogance. "We're not gonna stay in this cave for months, not communicating with us won't kill you."
"It's for safety. This way, if something happens to us they will know."
The blonde gave Mike her feature eyebrow lift.
"Comforting."
Santana hurtled out of nowhere and made herself comfortable on Brittany's lap.
"Eh, Four-Eyed loser, mind telling me what are all those screens for?" She asked gesturing toward the screens.
Quinn's eyes were stuck on her waist, where Brittany's arms were wrapped. Santana leaned into her and guessing the ex-HBIC's eyes on her, she stared at her with a challenging look. Quinn instantly looked away and pretended to be interested in the boys' computer jumble.
"This, is to keep a connection with the outside world," Sam explained. "We have the weather here, the last information on the area here, and here we have the Michigan digital card, with the cave."
"And no PS3," Quinn mumbled glumly.
"It would have been too risky to take it in the car with this heat," Mike said with a smile. "But don't worry, we will find other things to do."
"I was just saying." Quinn replied before standing up and sneaking out.
…
…
…
Mercedes and Kurt were arguing to decide what they were going to eat for dinner and Puck was putting his bottles of alcohol in the kitchen cupboard. Quinn stayed in the doorway to observe the show without a word, before going to sit at the table in the middle of the room.
"Ah! Quinn!" Mercedes exclaimed giving one last killing look to Kurt. "So, what do you think of the cottage?"
"It's nice." She answered softly. "We're all gonna sleep on the second floor?"
"Yes, I take the bed with Blaine!" Kurt said quickly.
"Easy tiger," Mercedes retorted, her smile fading away. "You're not the only one wanting this bed! Let's wait for Finn and Rachel to arrive before taking any decision!"
"Anyway, I don't think we will need it tonight, will we?" Quinn asked. "With all the bottles Puck brought, we will probably be all reeling on the first floor."
"Not so fast, Baby Mama," Noah spoke.
"Stop calling me that!" He could already hear her say, but she remained silent.
"Before anything, Finn and I plan on making you watch a movie!" He continued with a mischievous look.
"Oh my god, tell me it's not what I'm thinking," Kurt whispered hiding his face in his hand.
"The Descent!" Puck announced with theatricality.
"Yes, that's what I was thinking…"
"What's this?" Mercedes asked with a frown.
"They forced me to watch it with them on Halloween, it's a horror movie taking place in a cave," Kurt said before turning toward Quinn and adding:
"After watching this, it'll only be a matter of time before one of you withdraw, take their car and drive off."
Quinn stared at Puck with an illegible look. He stared back, giving her his most boastful smile.
"Yet another brilliant idea, Noah," Mercedes commented. "Good luck convincing the others to watch, I won't get involved in this since anyway, I'm not moving from here."
"That's what I'm gonna do, and now!" Puck said, walking away.
"If you're looking for me, I'll be in the attic," Kurt announced. "I have to dissuade Blaine from watching this."
Mercedes sighed as she put the bottles the boy had left on the counter away.
"By the way, Quinn, do you have issues with your phone?" She asked, cleaning the tiles near the sink.
The young woman tensed instantly.
"Not really… Why?"
She already knew where this question was leading them but she rather liked to pretend she didn't.
"Then can you tell me why, in all the texts I sent you after graduation, you didn't answer one?"
She faced the ex-cheerleader again and this one could see she didn't look happy. They stared at one another for a moment, Quinn sat at the kitchen table, Mercedes leaned against the counter. Seeing the blonde was taking forever to answer, Mercedes continued:
"Listen, it's fine. I really don't understand what is the matter with you lately, but it's not because high school is over that you have to ignore us. We wanna stay in touch with you, Quinn, but if you keep pushing us away like you do, don't count on us."
"I'm not pushing you away!" The blonde said, outraged.
"You didn't even text Puck back when he asked when you would be here," Mercedes responded like 'So? What do you have to say?'
This was enough to keep the girl silent.
"On my part, it's all forgotten, alright?" She continued with a smile. "We lived together; I know how you work, even if you're acting really weird lately, almost as if you were schizophrenic …"
Quinn was cut to the quick with this comment but didn't show it. She didn't see the point in arguing over this.
"Oh!" Mercedes suddenly said. "Would you mind calling Rachel or Finn to see where they are? The sun is almost completely gone and I'm starting to worry about them, the road is rather dark over here and they could miss the path."
Quinn stood up and walked toward the door.
"Thank you!" Mercedes said with a beaming smile.
Dragging her feet, Quinn walked toward the front door, where the phone was. She took a chair and pulled it closer, sat on it and took the phone numbers' list, watching it passively. Finn's number was one of the first, Rachel's one of the last. Logic would push her to call Finn, she thought, but he was her ex, maybe Rachel would get upset.
She glanced behind her, checking no-one was here to assist to her hesitation. She started to compose Rachel's number and deleted it almost instantly when she realized she knew it by heart. This was bad… It wasn't a good idea. Bloody hell, why was she doing this? She touched her neck mechanically, looking for the cross she always wore around her neck, but then remembered she had lost it.
…
…
"Quinnie? Are you coming down?"
"Coming, mom!" The teenager shouted, slamming the door behind her.
She threw her cheerleading bag on her bed and stared at her room in silent, her back leaned against the rough wood of her door. Her eyes stopped an instant on the crucifix hung above her bed, then slid to the Bibles in her bookcase. Her breathing became twitchy and she choked a sob with a shaky hand. She closed her eyes for a moment, holding back the tears already blinding her, and she opened them back, the room was now only a mix of blurry colorful stains. She wiped away the tears with her arm and walked slowly toward her dressing table. She contemplated her redden eyes, her tired feature, her crestfallen look. Her cheerio's uniform seemed to be off-beat on her. She took it off savagely, scattering it on her bedroom's floor, and almost broke her closet's door as she opened it to look for an appropriate outfit to wear for dinner. She walked back toward the mirror, adjusted the dress she had chosen and looked back at her face. Her perfect ponytail had been slightly ruined in her desperate attempt to go in her room as fast as possible. She abruptly removed her hair tie, ignoring the pain, and arranged her golden hair around her shoulder. It wasn't enough. It was never enough. She looked like the perfect little girl every family dreamt of but right now, she felt like the worst slattern. She looked at the cross slightly glowing around her neck in her bedroom's light. She almost felt like it was burning her skin. She grabbed the hairbrush and turned her back to the mirror. She walked toward her bookcase and ran a hand on the books filling it, the other one untanglingher long hair. Her fingers stopped on the leather bound of the Old Testament, and after a moment of hesitation, she took it and weighed it in her hand.
Quinn let her hairbrush fall and sat on the edge of her bed, starting to flip through the book without really reading a word. Her hand eventually stopped on a page that had been consulted so many times it was now disheveled and turned down. Her fingers ran over a line that her father had often read to her sister and her when they were kids. She had read it and heard it so many times she knew it even better than her cheerleader's routines.
You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.
Quinn stared a moment at the sentence, eyes glassy. The words were echoing in her head. Her head hurt, her eyes were burning for having heldback the tears ever since she had left school and she had had a rough day.
"You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female," she whispered. "It is an abomination."
She looked up briefly at the door, fearing her dad might have heard her. If he was walking in now to talk about what a sin it was, she wouldn't have the strength to hold back her tears.
Maybe she would even blurt out everything.
She reached out to turn on the radio placed on her desk and one of the depressing music she was used to listen to filledthe silence in the room, and covered the noise that was heard when she ripped off the page of the book. Quinn read the sentence again proving her she would end up in hell, creased the paper and threw it against the door.
"Quinnie, for the last time, dinner's ready!"
The teenagermade a stop by the bathroom to clean up her grazed hands and hide the grazes left by her necklace when she had ripped it off.
When her mother asked her why her eyes were red, she pretended to have conjunctivitis. When her father noticed she didn't have her cross around her neck, she said she caught herself on the door handle by walking in her room. Theybelieved her and didn't ask any more question, although Quinn had never broken it in ten years of wearing it. She lied to them with a calm smile, and nodded when her father told her they would go have it fixed the following day.
…
…
She stared at Rachel's number, then Finn's, absolutely terrified by what her heart was doing to her.
"Quinn?" Mercedes shouted from the kitchen. "When will they be here?"
"I'm trying to call them, it's ringing!"
Her voice was slightly high-pitched under the panic. She composed the diva's number and placed the phone on her ear without thinking. The tone rung out painfully and she really thought her heart was going to explode. She was hoping Rachel wouldn't pick up.
"Hello?"
The receiver almost fell when she violently hung up. She started at it a moment without moving, paralyzed, like it was a poisonous mushroom. Eventually, she pulled herself together and glanced at the note. Her breathing still twitchy, she composed Finn's number and pressed the green button with a stressed sigh.
"Yeah?"
This suddenly so masculine voice bored into her ears.
"Finn? Where are you?"
"Q-Quinn? Is that you?"
"Yeah, yeah, it's me. Mercedes asked me to call, she's worried about you."
She thought a second before adding:
"And so am I to be honest."
"Ah well, I have no idea," Finn answered slightly bothered and the blonde could perfectly picture him scratching his head.
"We shouldn't be that far, we should be there in a few minutes."
"Ok…"
Awkward silence.
"And… Um, how are you?" The boy asked.
"I'm fine." She said immediately, taken aback by his question.
She didn't exactly want to continue this conversation.
"Anyway, uh, I have to go," she continued quickly. "I have to warn the others that you will be here soon. See you later, Finn."
"See you l…"
She hung up without ceremony.
"They should be here in a few minutes." She announced walking back in the kitchen.
"Ah, cool!" Mercedes exclaimed. "You told them to take the path?"
"The pa-…" Quinn stuttered, staring at her. "Shit."
She rushed out and almost fell on the sideboard as she quickly composed Finn's number again.
"Hello Finn? I forgot to tell you…"
"Quinn?"
The blonde didn't know what to answer.
"Quinn? Hello?"
"Berry, what are you doing? I wanted to talk to Finn," she answered, more coldly than she wanted it to sound.
"I- I know but he asked me to answer. He's driving."
"He's driving," Quinn repeated dryly.
"But I can transmit a message," she added instantly.
"You can transmit a message," Quinn repeated again. "Well, tell him he has to take a path on the left. If he doesn't pay attention he will miss it."
"Ok… Thank you, Quinn."
"You're welcome."
The ex-cheerleader didn't add anything else, just listening to Rachel's breathing.
"Q-Quinn?" She heard her ask.
"I'm here," she answered with a smile she couldn't hold back.
"I'm glad you came," the young woman said softly. "I'm not exactly a speleology fan and I'm shaking at the idea of going underground when we would be able to play The Sound Of Music with all the prairies around us, but I have a feeling we're going to have fun."
She seemed to hesitate before she added:
"I have to say it feels weird to think that next year I won't be coming back to McKinley. I'm really gonna miss Glee Club."
Quinn had no idea why Rachel was telling her all of this but she didn't really care.
"So am I," she confessed in a whisper.
She blamed herself instantly for this sudden tenderness.
"But whatever, just get here in one piece. See you later, Rachel."
She hung up and turned on her heels.