Zombies in Chicago!
Disclaimer: "I ain't afraid of no ghost." - Ray Parker Jr.
Chapter 4: First Sighting!
Bayville
"Man, how do we get ourselves into these messes?" Scott Summers grumbled.
"Don't ask me, Scott." Jean Grey told the optic blaster. "This is all Beast's fault. He found that liquor, and then he vanished." She and Scott were looking around in the woods outside the Xavier Institute.
"What exactly did he drink?" Scott wondered. "He thinks he's different things, depending on what he drinks. He thinks he's William Wallace if he has Scottish whisky, that sake from Japan makes him think he's a samurai, and remember when he found Red Stripe?"
"Oh yeah." Jean winced. "24 hours of straight steel drums and bad Jamaican accent. Although I have to admit, I am curious how he got Ziggy Marley and the Wailers to perform at the Institute."
"And it was one heck of a party." Scott chuckled. "What did Beast drink before he vanished this time?"
"I think he had some wine from Greece." Jean remembered. Scott sighed.
"Oh, that's just wonderful. He could think he's anything from a Greek Olympic athlete to Zeus!"
"I just hope he doesn't end up thinking he's Hercules." Jean winced. "I don't think Herc would like that."
"...Hercules is real?" Scott blinked.
"Scott, we've met the Norse God of Thunder, remember?" Jean reminded. "If the Norse Pantheon is real, then there's a chance that, logically, other pantheons are real. Besides, Jubilee told me that the last time Hercules came to visit, he and Thor brawled up and down Fifth Avenue."
"Aie..." Scott winced. "I wouldn't have wanted to be in the center of that."
"Yeah. I heard their liaison, Henry Peter Gyrich, tried to break it up, but ended up waking up in Vermont." Jean nodded.
"Yeah, I heard about him from Sonic Blue." Scott nodded. "The guy is a major pain in the neck, based on what he told...wait a minute!" Scott heard yelling. "That sounds like the Beast!"
"Let's go!" Jean waved. Scott and Jean ran in the direction of the yelling. However, when they reached the source... "Oh my God!" She gasped.
"Aw, man..." Scott groaned. "I should've stayed in bed today."
A park in Chicago
"La la la dee dee...la da da dee da..." A beat cop sang to himself. He started to whistle as he walked down a path in a park. The cop smiled as he saw a young couple walking past him.
"You know, I saw this really neat movie down at the Cineplex. It was so cool!" The young man grinned.
"Are you talking about that Captain Galaxy movie again?" The young woman rolled her eyes.
"Captain Nebula." The young man corrected. "It was great, babe! I can't believe they got that actor to play CN! And it was a great adaptation of the first six issues of the comic!"
"I can't believe that they're making all these movies based on comic books." The young woman shook her head. "It seems kind of silly."
"Coming from the woman who has all those issues of that stupid comic, what's it called? Ricky Runway?" The young man snickered.
"It is not!" The young woman lightly glared and smacked her companion on the shoulder. "It's called Fiona Fashionista." They overheard the cop chuckle.
"Sorry." He apologized as they looked at him. "You two just remind me of my brother. He and his girlfriend used to take walks in the park."
"Well, it's a nice night." The young woman smiled. "Just perfect for a walk in the park."
"Uhnnnnnn..." Unearthly voices moaned.
"What was that?!" The young woman blinked. The cop looked around, and his jaw dropped.
"Oh. My. God." He gasped. The young couple looked in the cop's direction. Their jaws dropped.
"OH MY GOD!" They screamed.
A line of Deadites marched towards them.
A street in Chicago
"Thanks a lot, Lisa. Thanks a lot." Raven grumbled. The Native-American Joe was behind the wheel of a fixed-up old pickup truck that Mike and Eric had fixed up. Mike Baxter and Eric Phillips were avid car fans, and they helped fix up the vehicles the Southside Rockers used, including their own tour bus.
"Yeah, you red menace." Eric grumbled. The powerhouse drummer was sitting in the passenger seat, arms crossed, a scowl on his face. A hyperactive Lisa happily bounced in the back seat.
"Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy!" Lisa bounced up and down happily. "Let's go to the park and feed the ducks the ducks must have their bread or they rampage all over Chicago like the Cubs after too much coffee and the coffee is all owned by Starbucks and the Starbucks don't want me to have fire because they tell me it hurts their restaurants even though I only set fire to their-!"
"Lisa, shut up." Raven groaned. "Stop bouncing up and down in your seat and put on your seat belt."
"Ah, let her bounce, Raven." Eric grunted. "Maybe if we're lucky, Red'll hit her head on the ceiling and get a concussion."
"Eric, don't talk like that." Raven chided.
"Aw, come on!" Eric groaned. "You know that this redhaired broad doesn't use her head! All she does is cause trouble and get us screwed over!" He glared at Lisa. "This is the third store you got us banned from, you Red Menace!"
"I want cheese." Lisa babbled. "I like cheese. Cheese. That's a funny word. Cheese cheese cheese cheese..."
"I don't think she quite got you there, Eric." Raven remarked with a smirk. Eric groaned.
"Mother#$#$#$#$ lunatic..." Eric grumbled. The powerhouse drummer heard a sound of change clinking. The African-American mutant turned his head and saw that Raven was holding out the swear jar expectantly. Her eyes were still on the road, but she had a grin on her face. "Aw man..." A grumbling Eric put some change in the jar.
"Cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese..." Lisa continued to chant, oblivious to what was happening.
"Hey, an S-Mart." Eric pointed out a big building with the store's logo on it.
"Right." Raven nodded. The Native American Joe drove the car into the S-Mart's parking lot, in front of the store. "Eric, you think we should leave Lisa here?" The two looked at the happy redhead.
"Cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese cheese..."
"Not without this." Eric smirked, pulling a roll of duct tape from his trenchcoat. After duct-taping Lisa to the back seat (and making sure she had no hidden lighters), Eric and Raven entered the store.
"Here we are." Raven announced to herself. "Trouble, try to keep that temper and that mouth in check."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." The drummer waved it off. "Huh?" He noticed one employee carrying a box towards another section of the store. "Huh."
"What?" Raven blinked.
"I think I just saw Bruce Campbell." Trouble blinked.
The firehouse
Jason Vincent pulled his scooter into the firehouse.
"Jay, glad you're here!" Vicki ran towards her boyfriend.
"I came as soon as I could." The Southside Misfits' leader told his probability-manipulating girlfriend. "How is Johnny?" The two walked over to the living room. Johnny B was on the couch.
"Oog..." Johnny B mumbled. Jenni Starr was trying to feed him a piece of celery.
"Come on Johnny. Eat the nummy celery..." The blonde encouraged.
"Oog..." Johnny B mumbled.
"Hang on..." Jason mumbled. He tugged at Johnny B's coat.
"What're you doing?" Vicki blinked as she and Jenni watched Jason tug Johnny B's coat off of him.
"Maybe Johnny's got a gadget in here that can help." Jason pulled out a ham sandwich. "No." He threw it aside and pulled out a model of a molecule. "No." Jason pulled out a soccer ball.
"Not this old chestnut." Vicki rolled her eyes. Jenni only giggled.
"No..." Jason grumbled as he rifled through the coat. "Jeez. What is with this coat?!"
"According to Johnny B, the coat employs Hammerspace technology or something like that." Jenni shrugged. "He should explain it."
"Oog..." Johnny B mumbled.
"Augh..." Jason winced as he pulled out a large fish. "Johnny B! Why did you need a fish in here?!"
"Hey, there's a note!" Jenni noticed a note attached to the fish's fin. The blonde mutant grabbed the note and read it. "In case of zoning out, slap across face."
"Who do you think you are, Johnny B? John Cleese?" Vicki joked, lightly shoving the unresponsive inventor.
"Oog..." Johnny B mumbled.
"Worth a shot." Jason shrugged, grabbing the fish's tail. "Stand back, girls." Jason twirled the fish, and then he proceeded to slap Johnny B across the face with the fish.
WHAP!
"Whoa hey what happened?!" Johnny B blinked.
"Hey, it worked." Vicki blinked.
"What happened to you?" Jason asked Johnny B.
"Apparently, that was the reward I got for years of screwing with super-science." Johnny B chuckled nervously, adjusting his glasses and rubbing the back of his head. (1)
Well, well, well! Looks like our heroes are going to be in for a fight! What insanity will happen next? What was up with that employee? Will Johnny B ever stop screwing with super-science? Will Lisa break out of the duct tape? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!
(1) – A slightly altered version of a quote by Dr. Venture from The Venture Bros.