It took forever, but it's time for another one, and now it's Hidan's turn.

I have been thinking and I know that I don't really have enough ideas for a separatechapter for everyone. So most of the following chapters will be Madara's with occasional looks into the others diary's. At least that's the plan right now.

On another note, no offense is intended towards the long list of people and things Hidan insults during this or any other chapter. Including but definitely not limited to: Twelve year old girls, people who write in journals, people that read what other people write in journals, members of religions which aren't the Church of Jashin, fans of Kakuzu/Hidan, and anyone else who can find something to get upset about.

This takes place a few months after he joined. He's been trying to get out of doing it for that long but now has no choice.

Enough about that, on to the stuff you came here for. I made you wait long enough already.

I own nothing. If you didn't know that already then what the hell are you doing near a computer unsupervised?

Dear Diary,

Oh hell no.

"Dear Diary" is the kind of thing that twelve year old girls write in journals with fluffy pink sparkly shit all over them.

On the diary not on the girls.

At least I think its on the diary. I don't really know. Go ask a girl if your so fucking curious.

Deidara might know. Or not, the jury is still out on that girly little bitch. We started a betting pool on his/her/it's gender, but that's another story.

Leader told me I had to join in on this dumb-ass journal crap he has going or he would chop me into tiny pieces and shove me down a garbage disposal if I didn't.

So here I am, I'm not exactly bothered by dismemberment but I don't really feel like finding out what the hell is inside a garbage disposal anyway. That's the kind of shit I try to avoid.

I'm writing on this piece of shit note book because that goat fucking bastard Kakuzu is to fucking cheap to buy some decent stationary. It wouldn't kill the son of a bitch to buy something of a little higher quality, but no. I'm stuck writing on a sheet of paper that I wouldn't even wipe my ass with if it was the last piece of toilet paper in the entire world.

Gotta go, it's ritual time. More later.

Dear whatever the hell you are (but I'm never ever calling you Diary),

Konan says I should write about myself, what I like, dislike and shit like that. So here we go.

I'm Hidan and I'm a proud member of the Church of Jashin.

I like worshiping my god and sacrificing people to his glory. I have also recently discovered that I like to see how much I can piss off my partner before he tries to kill me.

I hate people that piss me off. They are usually the ones I end up using for a sacrifice. So it all evens out in the end I guess.

I'm usually eager to explain my religion to anyone that I can get to sit still for five minutes and listen to me, but since I don't give a flying fuck about this lame-ass journal, I won't.

Deal with it, you prick.

I also hate wearing a shirt. I usually ruin them during my ritual, or whenever I get into a fight, or whenever I make Kakuzu mad (my new hobby), or any time at all really. I guess I just have bad luck with shirts.

At least it's not my pants. I would hate to have something happen to them and have to come back to headquarters pant-less and wearing just my cloak, like some kind of sick flasher. Even if it would be kinda funny.

Dear Whatever,

The shirt thing came to a head early yesterday morning (Yes, I could make a dirty joke out of that but I don't care enough to try. Do it your self, you lazy bastards).

I finally ruined the last shirt that I owned, this led to Kakuzu trying to rip me a new asshole, metaphorically speaking of course.

I don't think he swings that way and if he does I don't want to know anything about it. It's waayyy to fucking creepy to imagine him getting it on with anything. I mean really, he has these tentacle/thread things everywhere, and that has to be awkward. But this is seriously off topic, and not something I want to think to much about.

Anyway, I let him yell for a little while, until I get tired of it. Then I tell him to do fuck himself. I lost an arm for that one. At least it was my right, I need my left.

I was willing to leave it at that, but Kakuzu had other plans. He chased me around trying to beat me with my own fucking arm!

So I ran away.

Yeah, I know it was a slightly cowardly thing to do, and it's also against my religion to run away from a fight. Lets see you take on a bat-shit insane bounty hunter trying to beat you with your own severed limb.

I ran out into the main area of headquarters right past Konan, who was reading the paper. I think I might have splattered her with a little blood on the way past her. She didn't seem to like that much.

Then I ran into the kitchen, where Kisame and Itachi were trying (and from the smell of things, failing miserably) to cook breakfast. I didn't expect to see them there, and the floor was a little slippery, so I crashed right into them.

I didn't mean to do it, but from the glare Itachi gave me you would think I killed his puppy, deep-fried it and served it to him on a fucking stick! That guy seriously needs to get laid or something. It probably didn't help matters much when I laughed my ass off at him, but I seriously couldn't help it. He was splattered from head to toe in what I think was pancake batter.

Fortunately, I was spared the fate of having my ass set on fire by an angry pancake batter-coated teen.

Unfortunately, this was because Kakuzu had finally caught up with me.

He resumed his previous activity: using my arm in an attempt to beat the ever living shit out of me.

Itachi kept glaring at me, and apparently he has no fucking clue how much pancake batter diminishes the effectiveness of glaring someone to death (yes he really could if he wanted to, but I don't think he cared enough to really put that much effort into it).

Meanwhile, Kisame was busily truing to keep whatever monstrosity of a food that they had created from escaping the pan and killing us all. Or maybe he was just trying to ignore all the crazy shit going on behind him. I'm not sure which.

And then just a I thought that this shit fest of a day couldn't get any worse, Leader came in. I'm sure that little bitch Konan told him about this, she's such a tattle-tail. He ordered us all to stop what we were doing and come into his office.

Long story short: We told him what the hell happened, he yelled at us and then, he added a few new rules to the ones we already have.

And here they are:

Hidan is no longer required to wear a shirt. (This one I'm really happy about, I don't like shirts. I would go naked if I could.)

Kakuzu must reattach any limbs that he cuts/tears off or otherwise removes from his partners body, regardless of the reason for removal. (This I also like.)

Itachi and Kisame are no longer allowed to use the stove without supervision from some one who knows how to cook properly. (It's for their own safety as much as for everyone else.)

Okay I've had enough crazy shit for one day, and enough writing in this cheap ass journal to last me for a week. I have better things to be doing, like annoying Kakuzu.

Besides, nobody would want to read this crap anyway.

I think I just went straight into crackfic territory with this.

Sorry about the swearing, but it's Hidan. From what I have seen in the manga he doesn't really swear, he's just really, really rude, but it's become common in fanfics for him to drop the F-bomb like it's a punctuation mark. So I went with something like that.

Thank you for reading.

Please review.