Hey guys, sorry for the wait......Been a busy week. Had to take some state tests at school, homework, friends, and a dance on Friday that I went to. Finally I got the chance to do some typing. I will try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible. I have more state tests to do for the next couple weeks, so I won't have much time. Anyways, enjoy!
Chapter 4 Kicked Out Of Wal-Mart;
Yes, they were hunting again. Sometimes I think that they are on some of Carlisle's drugs and they won't share. They say I get too weird on them. Anyways…..Time to put plan Wal-Mart into action.
"Kay, Bells. Jazz. Listen up, we're gonna go to Wal-Mart and do a bunch of crazy stuff to see if they'll kick us out." I explained as quickly as I could.
"Yeah!" Bella yelled. "Good idea, Em!"
"Thankies my sista." I said. I have no clue what thankies means, but Alice taught it to me, and it sounds cool. "Now. Are we gonna take my Jeep?"
"Sure." Jazz said. "SHOTGUN! Bella, you get back seat."
"Fine." she grumbled. She hated the back seat.
"TO WAL-MART!" I screamed as loud as I could for dramatic effect.
At Wal-Mart:
"Okay guys. Time to put my brilliant plan into action." I said as the loudspeaker came on. Yes, perfect timing. I fell to the ground clutching my head and, screaming "NO! GET OUT OF MY HEAD EDWARD!!!" (Originally I was going to say Charles, but Edward fit better).
Bella and Jasper were practically rolling on the ground with laughter, and people were looking at me like I was a lunatic. It was great!
When the person was done talking I got up and brushed myself off. "To the dressing rooms!"
I walked up to one of the open ones and told Jazz and Bella to wait outside.
Once I heard that the lady was at the desk I screamed, "I THINK WE'RE OUT OF TOILET PAPER IN HERE!"
Then at vampire speed, I unlocked the door, and jumped out the top, landing by Jasper and Bella, who were crying they were laughing so hard. Well, not crying, but…..whatever. You know what I mean.
"To the old lady clothes!"
I walked up to a rack with long coats and hid inside it. Trust me, for a man my size, it was not easy. Bella and Jazz pretended to be looking at clothes. Finally, an old lady came to look at the coats, and I whispered, "Pick me, pick me."
When she went to look behind the coats, I ran at vampire speed to Bella and Jasper's sides, too fast for the lady to see. The lady looked up in shock, and then fainted. Jazz, Bella, and I were in hysterics.
"Okay….to….the….bouncy…..balls!" I yelled out between laughs.
I grabbed a hand full of bouncy balls and threw them down the isle. It was amusing to watch them bounce. When a Wal-Mart employee came to check it out, not noticing us, we walked out of the isle looking like any normal shopper.
"We gotta get a cart." I told them now, heading towards the front of the store.
I grabbed a cart and told Bella to get in. Jasper wanted no part in this. He's such an emo boy. Ugh! I ran at human speed and jumped on the cart. We were flying down the isles. It was a blast! That's when I saw the employee. I stopped the cart right in front of him.
"I'm sorry," he said politely, "but I'm going to have to ask you three to leave."
"Okay. Bells, Jazz, let's go home. Rose, Alice, Edward, Esme, and Carlisle should be back soon"
The worker was checking Bella out, and I didn't like that. "So, Bells, what do you think your husband is gonna do when he finds out about this?
She looked at me with an eyebrow raised in question. "I don't know. Probably murder us. He over reacts all the time." she laughed.
In The Jeep:
"Em, what was all that about? Back at the store?" Bella asked.
"That weird worker dude was checking you out. I thought it'd be fair to warn him you were a married woman. I'm your older brother, that's my job."
Suddenly, Lady GaGa's song, Poker Face, came on. So I turned it up all the way, and sung at the top of my lungs.
"Great," I heard Jasper mutter, "He's gonna sing the entire way home. Why must he find ways to torture me so?"
Back At The House:
"You what?!" Edward asked in fury.
"Uhm, got……kicked out of Wal-Mart?" Bella said sheepishly.
"Bella!" Edward yelled in exasperation, "Why would you be so stupid?!"
"I'm sorry, Edward." she whispered. She honestly looked like she wanted to cry.
He looked at her and sighed. "I'm sorry for getting upset, love. You were just having fun."
HOW DID SHE DO THAT?!
"Do what?!" Edward snapped.
Get out of trouble!
"She's beautiful and irresistible." he stated simply.
What? And I'm not? Low blow, Eddie boy. I have just the thing…
"AAAANNNNNNDDDDDDD………."
"Omghpqxyz. Emmett, please no." he pleaded. (About the omghpqxyz, I made it up one day by saying random letters after omg. It stands for, Oh My Gosh Hot People Quit Xylophones Yellow Zebras.)
"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt. So sexy, it hurts!" I started singing, taking off my shirt, and throwing it at Jasper, who was on the couch next to Alice.
"Emmett, do us all a favor, and put your shirt back on, please." Jasper muttered.
"Oh, shut it Jazzy. You know you like to look at these sexy muscles."