Chapter 4

Lew saw his chance and ran his hand behind her neck to hold her in case she changed her mind and slowly lowered his head toward hers. He could feel her pulse under his thumb and was thrilled to feel it racing.

Lena saw him leaning down and let her eyes slide close, she could feel his warmth surround her and could only hope this would be as good as it had been in the dream.

"Alright so I'm here you can stop sending your goons to wake me up. What the hell is going on here?"

Lena's eyes popped open when she heard Marcie's voice. Surprised, she watched as Lew jumped away from her as if she'd done something wrong. She was even more stunned as he turned to face Marcie with a smile on his face. "Sweetheart, it's not what it looks like."

Marcie's face was bright red with rage, "Really, it's not what it looks like huh? Well then why the hell is she blushing?" Marcie turned on Lena so quick she didn't have time to react.

"You lying slut, you told me you didn't want him. And I come in here to find you trying to seduce him." Lena saw Marcie raise her hand to slap her and didn't move to stop her. Her guilt over forgetting her dead husband made her believe she deserved it.

The slap never came. She saw Nixon with his hand wrapped around Marcie's wrist. "Stop it, come outside and calm down." Nixon pulled Marcie outside telling her how stupid she was to over react when she had no idea what was going on. Closing her eyes, she took a deep steadying breath before quietly slipping out the back door.

She roamed aimlessly for over an hour until she finally found Buck. He took one look at her face and pulled her into the closest building. "Okay, what happened? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Her laughter was bordering on hysterical, "Well let's see, first of all Nixon tried to kiss me. Marcie caught us and tried to slap me. Then Nixon pulled her off outside and made nice. And by the way, I nearly just forgot the memory of my dead husband." She had to fight the impulse to grasp her hair in her fists and pull out her hair.

Buck frowned, "Okay I get the issues of you being upset over your husband's memory. But hey…Lena look at me.

She reluctantly lifted her eyes to meet his. She did not want to see the truth reflected there…that she was a bad person.

"Lena, you did nothing wrong. You are crazy about Nixon; you just won't let yourself go. He feels the same and I think you have the proof in the fact he didn't let her hit you. Now are we going to continue this plan or give it up?"

"Yeah, let's do the plan but I think we need to put a little more space between him and me."

Buck nodded, "Okay but we still have to be seen together and I think you need to change shifts with Marcie. Unless you want to continue putting up with her."

She sighed, "No I'll leave it alone. I'm sure he's talked her down and other than her snide comments, what's the worst she can do?"

Buck smiled and pulled her in for a hug. "That's the spirit sweetheart. Now, I've got to go. See you tonight?"

"Sure, see you then." She watched Buck walk away, knowing that if she chose to play this game it could become very dangerous. Nixon was her weak spot and she hated to admit she was weak on anything.

It had been several weeks since she'd seen Nixon. While she continued to hang out with Buck and the rest of Easy, they'd changed bars so she could have some peace.

Marcie and she had come to an uneasy truce, with Marcie making snide comments when she could and dropping subtle hints as to the depth of her relationship with Nixon. Sighing she laid her head on Buck's shoulder.

"What's wrong Lena? Tired?

She put her hand over Buck's, "Yeah maybe just a little. I've not been sleeping too well and these late nights are wearing me out." She laughed and closed her eyes.

She felt Buck tense under her head, "Well you might want to look alive, because here he comes."

"Hey Buck, Lena. Uh, Lena would you care to dance?"

Cocking her head to the side, she tried to slow the sudden galloping beat of her heart, "No I don't think so. Hey where's Marcie, did she let you off her leash?"

The men at the table laughed and Nixon looked pissed. "No, I'm alone tonight and well I'd just like to dance with you."

"I don't care what you want. I said no so beat it."

Nixon looked between Buck and Lena. Buck shrugged behind her head and relaxed back in the chair. His posture telling Nixon clearly this was between the two of them.

"Alright then, you don't want to dance, let's talk." Grabbing her hand, he pulled her out of the bar and down the empty alleyway.

She finally managed to pull her hand out of his. "What the hell do you think you're doing? You can't treat me that way and I sure as hell don't have to put up with it." She could feel her cheeks filling with angry heat.

"Okay fine you know what you're right you don't deserve that. But damn it, all I wanted was to talk to you. You've been avoiding me for the last few weeks and I miss you." He ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

She snorted, "What is Marcie not giving you enough attention? Because with the way she talks she is wearing you out every night. If you've got her why do you miss me so bad?"

Nixon turned to face her, his eyes dark like two pieces of coal. Taking two steps he had her against the wall, his arms on either side of her head. His chest pressing into hers holding her against the wall.

"I've missed you because of what happened in the clinic. It's all I've been able to think about, how you would taste, how you would feel under my hands, you've haunted every dream I've had. Please Lena; let me have at least this." She could see the wanton desperation in the way he was looking at her. Before she could really make up her mind about the situation, she saw his head lower. Holding her breath, she somehow found the willpower to turn her head away from him. "No Lew, I can't. I can't do this. Not with you." Pushing against his chest, she managed to free herself in his moment of shock. She had to get away, being with him was too much on her weakened senses.

Nixon watched her leave. What else could he do? He wasn't about to force himself on a woman but damn he knew she wanted him. He'd seen her eyes reflect the same color they'd been in the clinic. He had no idea how to make her admit her feelings for him, but he wasn't going to give up.

"Hmm, well this must be a serious dream; we're at the kitchen table. You know I think I prefer the other dreams."

Sighing Lena faced Robbie across the table. She had no idea why she'd chosen to have this conversation, but here they were. "Robbie, you said to let you go, but yet you're still here. So is it me keeping you or you not wanting to go?"

She watched him rub his chin, "Well I think it's both. Lena, sweetheart I want you to be happy, I want you to find someone to have children with, to grow old with. I'm just sorry it wasn't me. So to answer your question, neither of us are ready to let go just yet."

Dropping his chin into his hand, he sat forward on the table, "What did he do? Did he make you feel things you don't think you should feel? Yeah, that's it, you desire him and you think that makes you a bad person. Oh baby, it doesn't, it makes you alive."

Rubbing her face she looked at him again to see he was slowly fade away, "So what do I do now?"

As he faded from the dream his voice echoed, "Trust your instincts, Lena."

Aldbourne-May 1944

Months had passed since the clinic incident as Lena liked to think of it and a truce had settled between her and Marcie. Lena was sure it had to do with the fact that Nixon paid her lots of attention and when he did happen to see Lena he ignored her. It hurt more than she liked to admit, but there was Buck and Bill who filled in the emptiness.

Bill and she found that their brothers were in the same unit down in Italy, which gave them something to talk about and occasionally exchange letters. She worried about Frank, but he seemed to be doing well and had stopped asking her about her love life, which was a blessing.

She was about to get off duty when a soldier entered that she'd never seen. "Hey are you a nurse?"

"Yes, is there a problem?"

"I don't know ma'am I was told to find all the nurses I could and get them on the truck out front. Better dress warm, we're heading for the coast, that's all I know."

Grabbing her bag and jacket, she quickly left a note for Marcie, not that she thought the other woman would care.

Four hours and one of the bumpiest rides she'd ever experienced was finally over. They'd arrived at the coast and were quickly ushered into a holding area that contained about six nurses and four doctors. The man who stepped forward wore the rank of a brigadier general. "Thank you all for coming. Your mission here will not be pleasant and I'm sorry to do this to you, but the public can not be informed of what has happened." The man paused to allow his words to sink in before continuing. "All of you will be debriefed at the end of this and bottom line, this never happened."

Everyone exchanged looks before they were ushered out of the tents and down the beach that was covered with bodies. Beside her, she heard one of the nurses begin to cry. She was quickly removed and the rest of them were told to recover the bodies. They would be cataloging their personal effects and filling out the information from their ID tags.

Everyone split up along the beach and Lena quickly ignored anything but the job in front of her. Everyone was busy working and after a while, everyone and everything blurred into nothing. She was down to the last two in her area when she turned over the last one she fell back on her butt in the wet sand, the clipboard and other items she'd been holding falling from her numb fingers.

The boys face was completely relaxed in death, but his amber eyes were staring unblinking into the overcast sky. His dark brown hair had her reaching out to brush it away from his pale face. Frankie, her mind couldn't accept the fact that Frank was gone, but the proof was laying in front of her.

"Ma'am, ma'am are you okay?" The hand on her shoulder had her turning to look at the young medic holding her clipboard and pen.

Looking back at the body, she began to see it wasn't Frank. His hair was too dark, his nose had been broken, his lips were too thin. Taking a deep breath, she reached for her items and pushed herself from the wet sand. "Yes, I'm alright, I guess I just tripped over my own feet." As she finished the job she felt colder than she'd ever felt in her life. While the man hadn't been Frank, that didn't mean it couldn't be him.

It was late when they returned but she had to find the only person she could really talk to, Dick Winters. It took about thirty minutes to track him down, but she found him in the dining facility getting the last of the coffee. When the door closed behind her he turned and the smile he'd been prepared to give her slipped away to be replaced with a frown.

"Lena, are you okay, you look terrible?"

Grabbing his hands without even thinking about it, "Dick I can't tell you everything but I just had a patient. He died, but Dick for a moment I thought he was my brother and it nearly destroyed me. Frank is all I have left in the world and he's in the middle of this and I just realized he could die too."

Dick freed his hands and pulled her to his chest. Holding her, he could feel the silent tears wet his shirt. As he tried to stroke her back and comfort her, he realized she was soaking wet. Wherever she'd been it hadn't been the clinic. "Shh, I know it hurts to think about, but you have to stay positive and stay strong. He's going to be okay, you have to believe that."

Raising her head from his chest, her tear-filled eyes met his, "God couldn't be that cruel to take every thing from me could he Dick? Please tell me that he isn't that cruel?"

Dick pushed her head back to his chest knowing he couldn't say that. This was war and sometimes young men died no matter how badly their families wished otherwise.

She pulled away from him, wiping her eyes as she did so, "Thanks Dick, I need to go."

As Dick watched her leave, he realized she was still lost in her own pain; in fact, she passed Lew without even looking up. He watched as Nixon frowned at her and moved over to his side. "What's wrong with her?"

"Bad day Nix, she lost a patient and it hit a little hard. What's up?"

Nixon looked down at the sheet of paper in his hand and back at the door. "Well I guess these can wait till tomorrow." Dick looked down to see that he was holding transfer orders for Marcie and Lena to regiment. Nodding his head, he agreed with Nixon, those could wait until tomorrow.

Her head was pounding and her eyes were too blurry to see. She'd tried to sleep, but every time she closed her eyes, she saw her brother lying dead on the beach. Propping her head up on her hand and putting a pencil in the other, she tried to give the appearance of a woman deep in thought when in reality she was just trying to sleep sitting up.

She must have been successful because someone touching her nearly had her screaming in fright. Jerking away from the hand on her shoulder, she saw Nixon looking down on her with concern on his face.

"Hey there, I said your name a couple of times but you didn't answer." He eyed her critically taking in the pale features marred by the purplish-blue bruises underneath her eyes. "Lena, are you okay?"

Sighing she dropped her head, "Yes Lew, what can I do for you?"

He dropped the papers in front of her. He had no idea what to say to her, no matter how he acted, she treated him with cold indifference and he was tired of it. "Those are yours and Marcie's transfer orders, you'll be coming to work at the regiment aid station."

Picking up the papers, she looked at them and dropped them onto the desk. "Well, that should make Marcie happy. I guess these mean the two of you can be together even more."

Nixon felt his temper snap and he grabbed her arm and hauled her to her feet before he could think. Her bruised eyes stopped him in his tracks. He couldn't stop his hand when it touched her face, his thumb lightly tracing the bruising. "Baby, please, tell me what's wrong?"

Closing her eyes, she let herself relax into him, his hand caressing her face. She'd wanted this kind of touch for so long. Just to have someone touch her like she mattered to him. Taking a deep breath, she opened her eyes and pulled away from him. Moving around the desk to separate them further before turning back to face him. "You know, I don't understand you, isn't Marcie giving you enough attention?"

Nixon growled, "Why are you being this way? I've made my interest in you clear haven't I?"

"Ha, your interest has been focused solely on a vicious blond bimbo. So why don't you go find her? I'm sure she'll enjoy knowing how closely you'll be working together."

She watched Nixon's eyes narrow then the smirk appear, "You know, I've been wondering why you push me away so hard and I think I've figured it out. You feel more for me than you want to." She tried to back away as he slowly approached her. The look in his eyes gave her the feeling that she was suddenly his prey.

When he managed to trap her between him and the desk, he reached out to brush her face. "What I can't figure out is how a woman that is so smart can be so stupid." He saw the puzzled look on her face and laughed, "So stupid to think that I'd really want that child. When the only woman I want is standing in front of me."

When he saw her lips part in a gasp he took his opening. Wrapping his hand around her neck, he quickly covered her lips with his. Sliding his arm around her waist, he pulled her closer. He wanted to feel every inch of her, taste her, and lock it in his memory.

Her hands that had been pushing against his chest relaxed and he felt her arms go around his neck, her fingers brushing the short hairs at the base of his neck. He couldn't help the shiver of pleasure that slid down his spine or the unconscious roll of his hips that pressed him tighter against her.

Sighing into the kiss Lena pulled him closer. This was so much better than the dream. He was warm and alive, where as the dream had been a brush of something that might have been. The tighter he pulled her against him the better she liked it. Slipping his arms from around his neck she pushed him away long enough to slide up on the desk, and then pulled him back between her legs.

He moaned against her mouth and pushed her back on the desk. Nixon thought he was going to lose control when she wrapped her legs around his waist pulling him even tighter. Her taste was something he couldn't describe, but it reminded him of a warm spring day.

Sliding his lips away from hers he kissed his way to her ear, "Why don't you and I get out of here I know some where quiet we can go?"

The yes escaped her lips in the form of a sigh and she leaned up to meet his lips.

"Damn it, I told you to watch where you were walking. How the hell do you think you're going to jump with your ankle like that?"

The male voices getting closer had a sobering effect on both of them and Lena pushed Nixon off and sat on the desk with her back to the door not looking at him. "You need to leave Lew, and please don't come back, I…I can't do this."

"Lena…"

"Get out of here, please just leave me alone." She was nearly screaming. She could feel the aching need to make him hers, but she knew it was too soon for her. Her whole body was trembling and right now, she didn't know if it was from excitement or the fact she'd nearly slept with him on this desk. She was so close to a break down it wasn't even funny.

Nixon looked between her and the door and dropped his head. Turning for the door he paused, "This isn't over Lena."

"Yes it is Lew. Stay away from me."

Oh the drama. Yeah sorry about that tease once again lol. And of course, a HUGE shout-out to captain ty who wrote out this brilliant masterpiece. I made a few adjustments, but it's mostly all her genius. So, if you have the time, we'd really love some feedback. Thank you so much guys for reading.

We are in no way, shape, or form trying to disrespect those amazing soldiers on which this story is based. We only own Lena and Robbie and Frank. Oh and Marcie, but I'm finding it harder and harder to lay claim to her as the chapters progress. lol

.