Okay, next chapter! To my wonderful reviewers, there were a few questions I think regarding a romantic interest? There will be one! I will also address Rachel's apparent change in age in a later chapter which I hope will clear things up a little bit - once I do I doubt you'll have trouble guessing who the romance will be with XD Also, slight warning because Mal catches and eats a rabbit in this chapter. It's nothing graphic, just a heads up. Please review if you like!

Chapter 4

Balin and Ori set to work on writing up my contract, and while Gandalf was doing his best to persuade Bilbo I took my leave and headed into the living room to have a well deserved nap. Don't judge me, I'd had a hard day!

I sunk into one of the armchairs in Bilbo's lounge and I can tell you now it was the squishiest, most comfortable thing I have ever sat on in my life. That includes Bombur, though I'm getting ahead of myself!

Malik attempted to climb up beside me, but he was much too large and I wasn't having any of it. "I don't think so buddy, get your own!" With a dog-like grumble he settled down under my feet, becoming an unwilling footrest in the process.

Alas it was not to be. I had just closed my eyes, the warmth of the fire and the extreme cosiness of the armchair doing a good job of sending off to sleep when the sound of chairs scraping made me look up.

Dwalin, Gloin and Oin had entered the room – much to my annoyance. They weren't the only ones, soon all of the company, bar Bilbo, had come in and I realised I was in for yet another song.

It's like a bloody Disney film!

Thorin, in all his grumpy glory, moved to lean against the mantel piece with a long stemmed pipe in his hands. The others either sat on the chairs or stood, looking broody in the doorways.

Very suddenly the dwarfs all began this deep humming, which gave me goosebumps. Seriously, I got chills, it was creepy. Mal glanced up at me with a look that quite clearly said 'Is this really happening again?'

Yes. It was happening again.

"Far over the Misty Mountains cold
To dungeons deep and caverns old
We must away ere break of day,
To find our long-forgotten gold

The pines were roaring on the height
The winds were moaning in the night
The fire was red, it flaming spread
The trees like torches blazed with light"

I held a very secret love for the voice of Thorin Oakenshield, after this song. I don't want to give you the wrong idea here but damn! Like I said, chills.

Admittedly I felt a bit awkward afterwards, no one else did though, it seemed. They just sort of drifted away, off to find somewhere to sleep or talked quietly amongst themselves. Almost as if no one thought it weird that they'd just just High School Musical'd me!

"Here you go lassie," Balin said as he approached me, holding out a wad of parchment. "Not quite as detailed as Mister Baggins', but it's got all the important details."

"Oh, thanks Balin." I said, pushing myself up from the suffocating embrace of the armchair. Mal huffed and scrabbled away as I accidentally jabbed my heel into his side, he settled himself down in front of the fire, back to me in a strop. Dog's get annoyed too, apparently?

"Just sign on the bottom there," He said, pointing to the line as I unfolded the papers. "And if you've any questions, I'll be over there."

"Uh-alright, cool!" I said, receiving a someone confused smile before the older dwarf turned away to chat with Captain Moody. I'll save you the details of the contract – it basically just let me know that while I was welcome on the trip no one else was going to be responsible for me. Which is fine. I even got some treasure at the end of it, if I survived that long, as the contract made abundantly clear.

I signed it, despite myself.

After delivering my completed contract back to the white bearded dwarf I returned to my chair, hooked my legs over the side and closed my eyes. The sounds of quite conversation sending me quickly to sleep.

The next morning I was woken from a dreamless sleep by the gentle hand of Gandalf, shaking me awake. I blinked my eyes open groggily and groaned, my body stiff from sleeping in such a stupid position.

"Come now Miss Harker," He said, all smiles and bright blue eyes. "We'll be departing shortly, I should think."

"Oh, yeah, right," I muttered, swinging my legs to the floor while I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. A mighty yawn escaped me. "I'm up."

"Excellent, I shall inquire about breakfast while you prepare," He said, straightening up and heading towards the kitchen where I could hear quiet clattering. "Do try not to dally in the bathroom."

I grunted, muttered something unintelligible and heaved myself out of the chair. I stumbled, heavy footed to the bathroom, picking up my backpack on the way because I remembered the deodorant that was floating around in it's depths.

Mindful of Gandalf's comment about my time in the bathroom, I quickly washed and tended to my business before hunting down bilbo's toiletries. He had a cupboard full of soaps, bubbles and shampoos, not to mention several small round jars that held a minty paste. This had a similar look to toothpaste, and well, that's actually what it was. I snagged a pot, and a bar of soap then buried them in my bag. Don't look at me like that! He had loads and I didn't fancy going this entire journey with gritty teeth and grimy skin.

Huh, maybe I would have made a pretty good burglar?

Anyway, I left the bathroom and went in search of the food Gandalf had mentioned, keeping an eye out for Mal as I went. Unsurprisingly I found him in the kitchen, sitting at Bofur's feet with his tail wagging and his puppy-dog eyes powered to maximum.

"Who's a good lad? Aye, you are!" The floppy hatted dwarf was saying, hand feeding Mal pieces of bacon off of his own plate. What a sap.

"Another unsuspecting victim of your shameless begging, Mal?" I questioned, accepting the plate of bacon and eggs that Bombur offered me.

"How can I say no to that face?" Bofur asked, grinning up at me from across the table.

"Just don't give him any eggs," I warned, tucking into my own. "It gives him gas like you wouldn't believe."

"Fili has the same problem," Kili informed me jovially, from a few chairs down. "Isn't that right, brother!"

"At least you can't smell my feet from the other side of the house," Fili countered, shooting a smirk at his now frowning brother. "Kili hasn't washed his boots in years!"

"Yeah but you-"

"I'm sure you're both smell equally disgusting, in your own ways." I cut in, giving them both a wide smile which caused all the others around the table to laugh. Fili and Kili pouted for a second before joining in.

I stayed behind to help Dori with the washing up before the two of us headed out to join the rest of the party, who had gathered either outside Bag End or were with the ponies, a little way out of the shire.

"Are you ready to go my dear?" Gandalf asked, appearing at my side. I nodded slightly. I had my backpack on my shoulders, the bat looped through the straps along with my fancy cloak and Mal at my side.

"I guess so," I said, patting myself down just in case. Ugh, the frilly bits on my shirt had annoyed me to no end. "Bilbo's not coming, is he?"

"Oh I don't know about that," Gandalf said mysteriously, patting my shoulder. "I think he is more Took then even he realises."

"You think he'll come?" Nori asked, raising his eyebrows.

"I should like to think so." Gandalf nodded.

"How much you willin' to bet?" The star haired dwarf asked, eyes twinkling mischievously. Gandalf huffed for a moment, looking mildly put off by the idea of betting on his burglar – it was only when Oin piped up that he'd take the wager that Gandalf agreed. "And you, Miss 'Arker?"

"Oh, go on then!" I said brightly, not mentioning the fact that I had no gold to actually bet with. Still I was pretty sure of my odds. In that moment I was Biff from Back to the Future 2 and Bilbo was my almanac! I have no shame.

We left then, Nori confirming a bag of gold to whoever was right about the Hobbit and Gandalf pulling the circular green door closed behind him. The wizard lead the way to where the rest of the company was gathered, around a line of sturdy looking ponies.

I don't much like ponies.

These ones seemed nice enough, friendly, or whatever but I'm not a fan. Horses, cows, and ponies are not on the list of animals I relate to. I'd ridden a horse before, under strict supervision and when I wasn't 4 foot high – still, I didn't plan on walking to Erebor.

"Have you ridden before?" Dwalin's gruff voice asked from behind me. I admit that question threw me for a moment before I realised he was talking about ponies.

"Uh," I said, rubbing the back of my neck. "It's been a while."

"You'll take Betty, here," The bald headed dwarf said, moving over to pat the flank of a dusty brown pony with chocolate splodges. Betty, ahem,was sporting several bags, as well as a sleeping roll and a saucepan or two. "She'll not be hard to control."

"If you say so," I muttered, not convinced. I spent a moment attaching my backpack to the saddle, making sure it wouldn't fall off. "So, how do you get on one of these things?"

I turned around and frowned, Dwalin had moved off at some point during the time I'd had my back to him. How was I supposed to get up there? I'm a dwarf!

"Shit!" I grumbled, tentatively patting Betty's neck. Mal gave her a curious sniff, the pony ignored him completely. Everyone else was getting onto their ponies now. There was nothing for it, I'd have to try myself. "Here goes!"

I wedged my foot into the stirrup, making sure it was the right foot, I didn't want to have to pull myself up backwards. Then I grabbed the saddle horn and heaved.

Something I had noticed about being a dwarf, is that I was a lot steadier on my feet. Not that I was overly clumsy as a human, but I'd been pretty prone to tripping or knocking into things. As a dwarf I found that didn't happen so much – lets chalk it up to a lower centre of gravity! I was also, surprisingly, a lot stronger.

I hadn't been expecting that. It was a lot easier to pull myself up, and as a result I had pushed off a little too forcefully, almost sending myself flying over the saddle. No one said anything, though I'm sure they all heard the tiny squeak I gave before I managed to regain control of the situation.

Betty didn't even bat an eyelid at me.

Despite my over enthusiasm to seat myself, I am proud to say I managed it without falling or maiming myself. Phew. Betty dipped her head and pulled at the grass, not giving a shit.

At a shout from Thorin the entire company began to move forward, myself included! It took a moment of wildly flapping the reins and a pitiful nudge of my foot - so light I'm pretty sure Betty didn't even feel it- before the pony started walking, plodding along after the rest of her friends.

It was quite a boring start actually.

Mal trotted along beside me for a while, till he got bored and moved on to sniff things and generally get in the way of everyone else. He seemed to be enjoying himself though. At one point he shot off across the ridiculously green fields that surrounded us, in hot pursuit of a rabbit.

"Is he going to be okay?" Kili asked, nudging his pony forwards till he rode a little to my left. I shrugged.

"He's a big boy, I doubt the rabbits will give him much trouble." I said, smiling.

"What if he gets lost?" Fili asked, appearing on my other side. I have learnt to be weary of these two when they are together (which is always), because, as I said before, they are not to be trusted.

"Then he's stupid, isn't he?" I said with a snort. There were a few trees dotting the path we were taking out of the Shire, but the rest was open ground, if a bit hilly. "What's he going to do, fall down a rabbit hole?"

"I suppose not," Fili huffed. "What is he, anyway?"

"I believe the more educated people of the world would call him a dog," I replied with a smile, Fili frowns at me. "He's an Alsatian."

"An Alwhat?" Kili is confused by this word, it seems.

"Al-Say-Shun!" I repeated slowly. "A German Shepherd."

"How is he both this Alsatian and a German Shepherd?" the dark haired dwarf questioned, still baffled. It's entirely too early to be dealing with these questions.

"It's two different names for the same thing, like-" I start, then struggle for a comparison he would understand. "Like how a Hobbit is sometimes also called a Halfling!"

"I see," He muttered, though I was pretty sure he didn't. "He is a breed native to your homeland?"

"Yup." I nod, watching as Mal makes an impressive dive after a rabbit and very almost does disappear down a hole.

"You were dressed very strangely when you arrived," Fili observed, one hand lazily holding the reins while the other rubbed his chin, sending his moustache braids swinging. "Where exactly is your home?"

"In a land far, far away," I replied, ever the master of vagueness. "Oh, he got one."

Mal bounded up to me then - saving me from any further awkwardness - a rabbit hanging limp in his mouth and a proud look on his face. I grimaced as he shoved it against my leg, making annoyed grunting noises when I didn't take it.

"I don't want it, you mug," I snapped, pushing him away. "You keep it!"

Malik shook his head with a sneeze, then hurried off to the front of the group without a backwards glance. I saw him briefly nudge the rabbit at several other members of the company before promptly tearing into it.

"I would've had the rabbit!" Kili said, frowning.

"You're more than welcome to try and take it off him," I mused, slightly disgusted by my faithful companions table manners, or lack of. "You've got a fairly good chance, as long as you don't mind losing a finger or two?"

Not that there was much left to take any more...

Thankfully the arrival of Bilbo gave me a good enough reason to move away from the brothers, before they could start asking more questions. The little hobbit was running full tilt towards us, thick feet carrying him over the soft grass with little trouble as he waved his contract.

"Everything seems to be in order," I heard Balin say a little way ahead of me, once he has looked over the contract. "Welcome, Master Baggins, to the company of Thorin Oakenshield!"

"Give him a pony!" Thorin calls, turning his own pony away to continue walking.

"No, no no!" Bilbo said, holding his hands up. "That wont be necessary! I'm sure I can keep up on foot, I've done my fair share of walking holidays, you know! Even got as far as Frogmorgan once!"

His protests were cut short however, when Fili and Kili - both wearing matching grins- rode past and hoisted the hobbit into the air! Bilbo spluttered and grumbled as he was placed, quite against his will, onto the back of Myrtle. Neither of them happy about the arrangement it seemed.

I rode beside him for a while, glad for his appearance despite the fact I knew he would come, and that I wasn't the only person on this journey who didn't have much experience in questing.

"What made you change your mind?" I asked, curious. Bilbo blinked and looked at me, a small smile on his face as he shrugged.

"I-I don't know, really," He admitted with a nervous chuckle. "I suppose I noticed that it was very quiet after you all had left. I think, though I may later regret it, that I have lived quietly for far too long."

I don't think there's much may about it, personally.

"Fair enough," I said, watching as Gandalf slowed his horse till it walked on Bilbo's other side. "Glad to have you."

"Thank you!" The hobbit said brightly.

"Come on Nori," Oin called from in front slightly. "Pay up."

Kili and Fili watched with frowns as Nori chucked a small bag of gold to the hearing-impaired dwarf, who stuffed it into his pocket with a chuckle.

Another bag flew between us, caught by Ori, and then I was faced with a daunting prospect as Nori aimed another bag towards me. Catching.

Oh dear.

I'm actually not bad at catching, my problem is catching on horseback, or ponyback I suppose. If I drop it, I have to dismount, pick up the gold and then get back on. Not a pleasing idea. There is no time to suggest he pass it to me nicely, as it's already sailing through the air and shockingly into my outstretched hand.

"Awesome!" I say out loud. Earning a frown from Gandalf who is explaining to Bilbo why all this money is being thrown around. Bilbo looks somewhat pleased at the fact that no everybody bet against him, but says nothing, in favour of a sneeze.

"Ugh, oh, this horse hair, having a reaction! " He sighed, patting himself down. "Uh, no wait, wait! Stop! Stop, we have to turn around!"

"What on earth is the matter?" Gandalf asked, exasperated.

"I've forgotten my handkerchief!" Bilbo says, still rummaging in his pockets to no avail.

"Here!" Bofur calls from a little further up the line as he rips off one of his pockets. "Use this!"

The look on Bilbo's face has me laughing probably more than necessary! I notice, as the ponies start to move again, that while he doesn't use it for Bofur's intended purpose, he does stash it away in his bag.

And so we went on, leaving the rolling hills of the Shire behind. The ponies plodded along at an even pace, steadily eating up ground. I began to ache after a few hours in the saddle, but couldn't fidget too much because I was afraid of falling off of Betty!

Mal ran up and down constantly, never seeming to get tired out as he raced from my side to the head of the trail, then back again. He was making me sleepy, just watching him.

Eventually his majesty called for us to stop, and I gracefully dismounted, managing not to face plant or get my feet stuck in the stirrups. Apparently it was lunch time!

"Make it quick Bomber," Thorin said, striding forwards. "I want to be moving again in half an hour."

I may have groaned, I can't remember.

The rotund ginger dwarf set to digging through one of his saddle bags for lunch. I wasn't expecting a 3 course meal, obviously, but neither was I prepared for the tough dried meat and bread roll that was handed to me.

Still, I was pretty hungry.

"Thanks." I muttered, taking my share and heading off away from the group. My legs felt stiff and my butt hurt from sitting in that saddle, I felt the need to walk a bit. Mal bounced up to me, either because he saw me wandering away or because he wanted food, I couldn't tell.

"Mally, Mally, Mally," I sighed, looking down at him as he walked beside me, eyes fixed on my lunch. "What are we going to do? I don't think I'm cut out for riding."

He dribbled in response.

"You ate a rabbit earlier! And you had most of Bofur's breakfast!" I huffed, Mal wasn't put off, his chocolatey eyes growing larger. "Ugh, It's not going to be the orcs or dragon that kills me, it's going to be you! I'll starve!"

I held out a bit of jerky and he snuffled it up in seconds, eyes returning hopefully to my remaining pieces. I shoved the roll into my mouth, then flung the remaining meaty strips as far as I could. Which still wasn't very far.

Mal leapt after them, pouncing on them as they hit the ground. Stupid animal.

I walked for fifteen minutes or so, and took the time away from the rest of the group to have a wee. I've never liked having to pee in the woods, or anywhere that isn't a toilet for that matter, but needs must. After that I returned back to the group, just in time to receive a stern telling off from our magnificent leader who was already mounted and ready to go.

"Perhaps next time you decide to wander off, you could inform someone?" He suggested, looking down at me from pony-back. I planted my hands on my hips and frowned up at him. "While we are still in fairly hospitable lands, there are still creatures who could pray on one as unprotected as yourself."

"So what, I'm not allowed to wander around on my own?" I asked, still frowning.

"Have you gained any knowledge of fighting in the last few hours?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"No." I said flatly.

"Then no, you may not wander on your own." Thorin replied.

In my experience there are few things that will stump a man as much as the inner workings of a ladies body. Thorin was no exception.

"I'll be sure to ask you to hold my hand next time I need to -" I was going to say take a leak, but I wasn't sure if that saying would be lost on him. It would lose some of it's effect if I had to explain what I meant. "- Relieve myself, shall I?"

He was silent for a moment before he looked away.

"At least tell someone when you are going." He said, then turned his pony and headed off. I stuck my tongue out at his retreating back, earning a look from Balin, who was closest. I stomped back to an uncaring Betty and clambered up into the saddle, legs already aching.

There we go! Hope you enjoyed it! Still after ideas for Fili/Kili mischief in future chapters if anyone had suggestions! Please review if you like it and thanks for reading!