Chapter Four: EPOV

Less than a week later my mom's barbeque finally arrives. She invited not only family but my co-workers from the Fork's Firehouse and of course Bella. I never imagined that she would show up but I was excited when she did. It was hard, trying to keep myself from staring at her all day. She had a brown sun dress on that flattered her figure in all the right places as she carried Ethan around talking to my friends and family.

I had to remind myself to keep my distance, just her being there was good enough for me. After a few hours had past I realized that I hadn't seen her in a while. Figuring that she went home for the day I no longer felt like socializing and started to head to my room. At first, I thought I was imagining the humming but the closer I got to my room the louder it became.

"Mommy had it all planned out Ethan. When we would visit we would put your crib here so in the summer you could smell the lilacs from the backyard. We could have picnics under the big oak tree and at some point, your treehouse would be built there."

As I opened the door I saw the most beautiful thing. The love of my existence holding her son at my window with the setting sun behind her. At that moment I regretted ever leaving her and letting another man touch her. That could have been our son. I could have been the one who she said I do to and I could have been the one rubbing her stomach as our child grew inside her but I gave her up. I threw away not only my dreams but her dreams too.

"I will never talk bad about your daddy no matter how much I hate him but he could have never given us anything close to this."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt." I finally remark, pushing the door to my room open.

She blushed an amazing candy apple red, "How much of that did you hear?"

"Enough to know how bad I hurt you. Did you really have plans like that?"

"I planned our entire lives. I knew how many kids we would have and their names. I knew what schools they would go to and where we would live. I thought you were proposing the day you dumped me."

"I really wish I had now."

"Edward, you can't say things like that to me. We both moved on with our lives. They were just silly daydreams of a love-sick teenagers. No one marries their High School sweetheart anymore."

"We could have been happy. We could still be happy." I urge coming over to stand next to her at the window.

"I have to go."

"Wait you almost forgot his blanket." I remark picking the blanket up as something on it caught my eyes. EAC. My initials are on it? "That's strange my initials are on it."

"No, they're Ethan's. See Ethan Adam Crowley." She grabs the blanket and leaves.

I didn't see her again until Monday after I dropped Emma off at daycare. She was walking to Newton's wearing shorts and a t-shirt with her favorite converses. She looked so good. I didn't realize I was staring until I almost crashed into a parked car. When my brakes squealed she turned and looked.

"Are you stalking me now? Cause I could have you arrested."

"No, I was dropping Emma off at daycare. I was going to stop and offer you a ride." I reply sheepishly.

"I'm only going another block but thank you."

Giving up I drove home and got ready for my shift. I couldn't stop thinking about her. It was driving me crazy and on my way to work I ended up driving up to Newton's hoping she was still there.

"Be right there." I hear her yell before a second later she came out of the back wiping her hands on her shorts.

"You work here?"

"Yes. I couldn't find a job in my field here. I'm just working here to save up until I find a new job." Bella replies shifting her gaze from mine.

"You don't have to be ashamed. I know how it is. I live with my parents because being an EMT and a daddy was too much for me."

"That's nothing to be ashamed of to ask for help."

"It's not how I planned my life though. I planned on being in my second year of med school by now."

"What happened to med school?"

"Life happened. I was paying rent and trying to feed my family and pay our student loans. Med school just wasn't in the cards."

"I should get back to work."

"Yeah, I got to go to the station. Would you mind if I called you later?"

She sighed before relenting, "This doesn't mean I forgive you."

I left Newton's with a sliver of hope that maybe one day we could at least be friends.