Here we go. finally updating! yay!i do not own homestuck, though i wish i did. im so bored today, but ill find something to do. like studying for the ACTs like i should be doing. ahahahahaha...yeah. just read this shitty chapter.
~Gl'bgolyb
"So…can I get your number?" the guy asked. Aradia giggled.
"Sorry. I already have a boyfriend," she said.
"I'll give you my number anyways. You're a swell old chap and I'd like to hang out with you more often!" chimed the guy in shorts.
"Okay. I'll give you mine then," she said getting out a napkin and pen, "Ugh! I just need some place flat to write."
"How about you chest!" remarked a voice. Aradia whipped around.
"Fuck..."
"Okay I got my number!" said the guy.
"I'll call you. I need to deal with something," she said.
"Alright then. Toodaloo!"
"What do you want Vriska?" Aradia groaned.
"Here! Take a brownie! They're really good," offered Vriska. Aradia took one and looked at Vriska skeptically.
"What do you want?"
"Flirting with British guys? Drinking alcohol? Oh dear. Equius wouldn't like that," she said with a smirk.
"I wasn't flirting! He seemed like a fun friend," she replied.
"I knew you were still Maniac Megido on the–"
"Will you stop calling me that? Those days are behind me now. I'm not that wild party girl anymore," she interrupted, "I will never be the same person I was before the accident. You'll have to accept that I'm boring now."
"Uh, did you not see yourself back there? You were amazing!" Vriska complimented, "When I compliment someone, I think they are really special."
"But I'm tired of all these accidents and–"
"Oh Aradia! You don't get it do you?" Vriska remarked, "You can abstain from alcohol. You can get a controlling boyfriend. You can dye your hair silver. You can even go into a coma for a year and a half! But you can never escape from that past you. Can't you feel it Aradia? I bet you can. She's trying to get out Aradia. She's trying to tell you you're not living up to your full potential. You can't force down that part of you that wants to drink and smoke and start a line in the bathroom with every other person. That is who you are, Aradia. The curly haired, flat chested broad that everyone loved. Are you going to let everyone down?"
Aradia sighed. Vriska was right. But even though alcohol was running through her system Aradia would not give in so easy. She just gave Vriska a cold look like she was being overdramatic again. Which she was.
"These brownies are really good," Aradia noted off topic.
"Feel free to have the entire plate," she said twirling the plate to Aradia.
"Thanks!" she replied wandering off. Vriska chuckled.
"No Aradia, thank you," smirked Vriska.
Meanwhile…
"And that's the real reason why the chicken crossed the road," finished Dave. A very bored Sollux threw an empty beer can at him. Terezi laughed as Dave gave him a look.
"Where did Aradia go? Is she still in the bathroom?" Terezi asked.
"She left almost an hour ago. I hope she isn't in any trouble," Dave said.
"I'm going to go look for her," said Terezi. She started off.
"Come on Mr. Appleberry. Time to look for your friend," he said helping Sollux up. Sollux groaned. Dave followed her until he bumped into an asshole in a grey sweatshirt.
"Hey Dave! Guess who I just met!" Karkat bragged.
"Not a good time Karkat," warned Dave.
"I got to–what the fuck is up with Sollux?" Karkat asked.
"Too much to drink," replied Dave, "His liver is probably crying by now."
"Wow, really Sollux?" Karkat asked.
"I can totally drink more than you!" Sollux proclaimed.
"Oh believe me fuckass, you've beyond proved that!" Karkat remarked.
"Terezi's watching Aradia, but we lost her. You take care of the asshole while I go look for her," he ordered.
"What the fuck?! You can't just leave me with–" Dave was already gone. Karkat sighed. "Guess you're my problem now."
Meanwhile…
Terezi eventually sniffed out Aradia. It was colliding with another scent. A sweet, nauseating– Terezi covered her nose.
"Aradia!" she yelled.
"Whaaaat?" Aradia slurred.
"What…have-have you been smoking marijuana?" Terezi asked grabbing her wrist.
"I don fuckin know man," she replied, "I don't remember five minutes ago…all I did was have some brownies…" Terezi pulled her out of the group of stoners.
"Why don't we just sit down…" suggested Terezi.
"Dude I just realized something…" she flopped down in the chair, "there's a green light on your forehead."
"Wonderful."
"No really. Oh it's moving!" Aradia laughed, "I wonder what Equius like in bed…"
"Please don't go any farther Aradia!" A person went past them.
"Did you see that look he gave me?" Aradia snarled, "He gave me a look! Yo! Bitch! Come back here! You wanna go? You wanna fuckin go?" Terezi covered her mouth.
"Shut your mouth! We don't need you in more trouble," she replied.
"Terezi! Aradia!" called a voice. Feferi ran up to the two.
"Oh hey Feferi," greeted Terezi.
"Woah…dude. There's fins on her face..." Aradia hallucinated. Feferi looked puzzled.
"Just don't eat any brownies, okay?" Terezi explained. Feferi looked at them weirdly.
"Have either of you seen Sollux?" she asked.
"Um...nope. Not a trace. Why?" Terezi lied.
"Well if you see him, can you tell him I went home?" she asked. Terezi nodded. Feferi then slipped off. Aradia began tripping again.
"Woah…it's that green light again…" Terezi facepalmed.
Meanwhile…
A drunk Sollux wasn't exactly heaven for Karkat.
"KK. KK. KK. KK. KK. KK. KK. KK. KK–"
"WHAT?!"
"…my eyebrows, are not even on my face…" said Sollux. Karkat facepalmed.
"KK, why are you so short?" Sollux asked.
"I-I'm not short! You're just tall!" Karkat snapped, "Fuck you!"
"You're so mean Kitkat…" sniffed Sollux.
"Don't call me Kitkat! And don't cry!" Karkat snapped. Sollux hugged him.
"You're my best friend KK. My bestest friend ever."
"Yeah sure whatever." Sollux then looked down and screamed. "What the fuck is it now?!"
"I-I think I have two dicks!" Karkat facepalmed again. He then saw Terezi coming towards him.
"There you guys are!" Karkat yelled over the music.
"Where's Dave?!" Terezi asked, "And why do you have Mr. Appleberry?"
"He dumped Sollux on me and left!" Karkat replied.
"Seriously where did he go?" Terezi asked.
"I don't fucking know!" Karkat snapped, "He ran off to look for you!"
"Ugh! Great! Now Dave's gone!" Terezi jeered.
"I tried to stop him!" Karkat protested, "What's up with Aradia? I thought she held her liquor well."
"She does. She's just high on brownies laced with weed or LSD or something that's making her act all weird," said Terezi.
"LSD and weed are two different things. Didn't you go to law school?" Karkat asked his ex.
"The drug class was hard!" Terezi protested.
While the two bickered about this bullshit, the two that were under the influence noticed each other.
"Hi…" giggled the stoned one.
"Hey…" replied the drunk.
"You look familiar…have we met?" Aradia asked.
"I…I dunno…" slurred Sollux, "I think I was upset before, but I honestly can't remember shit."
"Me neither! Bro...look…it's the green light…" staggered Aradia. She pointed at something non existent.
"Holy shit…" replied Sollux, "Let's follow it!" Aradia nodded in agreement. The two then followed the hallucination upstairs.
Vriska navigated her way upstairs. She was looking for Eridan's room so she could fuck up some stuff. That asshole deserved some wrecked shit. She jumped when she heard voices. She quickly dashed behind a door. One was a feminine voice and the other was a nasally, nerdy kind of sound. The lower voice had a lisp so she assumed Sollux was there. She came out of her hiding place. Sollux was with Aradia and the two looked wasted off their asses.
"hey you two!" she greeted, "What are you doing?" Aradia giggled.
"It's the spiderbitch," she whispered to Sollux, "See her 8 legs?" Sollux giggled. Vriska gave her a glare.
"You two must be stoned. Or drunk one or the other," she replied.
"I'm just showing my alien friend around," said Aradia, "He crashed his spacecraft and can't remember like, shit." Vriska looked at them strangely. She then had an idea. Wait, if these two dumbasses wreck stuff, we won't catch me!
"Hey, maybe you can explore Eridan's bedroom. If you know what I mean…" the two looked at her with confusion. "Wreck his room. Do some weird shit."
"Are…are you my girlfriend?" Sollux asked Vriska.
"Ew! No!" she replied. An idea then came to Vriska. "But Aradia is."
"I am?" Aradia gasped, "Oh my God that explains so much…" Vriska chuckled a bit.
"Now go be cute and destroy some shit in that room," she said pointing to a room. Sollux and Aradia entered the room.
"Now do…something messy," said Vriska, "I'll be back soon." She shut the door. The two looked at each other and smiled.
"You are so adorable…" said Sollux, "Your like…a cute little squirrel."
"You're even cuter…" she giggled, "With your…teeth and your…horns and that pert little ass…"
"You like my ass?" Sollux gasped, "I like your face...by the way thanks for the brownies."
"No problem," she replied, "Can you saaaaay Sassafras?"
"Sassafras…sssssssassaftas," he lisped. She giggled.
"I can't believe my boyfriend is so cool!" Aradia exclaimed, "And an alien."
"I can't believe my girlfriend is this radical and so…hot…" he added.
"What do girlfriends and boyfriends do on your planet?"
"Well…one thing they do…is they do this," he then grabbed her and kissed her.
"Why did I even bother coming here?!" Terezi yelled.
"I know why! Oh Daaaave!" Karkat mocked. Terezi stuck her tongue out at him. Karkat scowled. He then stopped.
"Hey, where are Aradia and Sollux?" Karkat questioned. The two looked/sniffed around.
"Shit!" they said in unison. They then began to scour the house.
"What was that all about?" a blonde girl wondered.
"They probably forgot something. Probably not important," said Eridan, "Not important to us, anyways. Let's go upstairs where I can show you my wand collection." The girl looked ecstatic. He lead her upstairs.
"I can't believe I found another guy who likes wizords," she chirped, "My ex said it was dumb."
"So did mine," he added. He open the door to his bedroom. But once he looked inside, he screamed and quickly shut it.
"Eww! Oh God my eyes!"
"What happened?"
"…Let's not go in there. I can show you my collection another time," he said. She shrugged.
"You wanna just do it in another room?" she asked.
"I was thinkin the same thing," he said.