First of all, I'm really sorry this took so long. Also, sorry if this one wasn't the greatest…
"We're back!" Chris announced, reading off a piece of paper. "And we've already randomized our pair! Topher will be rap battling Sugar. Chef, could you do the honors?"
"EPIC RAP BATTLES OF Total Drama." Chef narrated.
"TOPHER"
"VS."
"SUGAR!"
"BEGIN!"
Sugar:
It's the old school, "craptry", rodeo beatdown!
Starring pompous, pretty boy Topher, gonna kick out that frown!
You're always sucking up to Chris so you can get a stupid, worthless job,
I've seen more maturity and responsibility shown by a greasy hog!
I been working on a farm, and you're heading through the slaughter house!
I'm the beauty and the beast, you're a frightened, little, mouse!
When you try to step up to big gal Sugar, she ain't gonna put on no act!
Turn off the cameras now, 'cuz things are about to get whack!
Topher:
They say the camera adds five pounds, there must be a couple dozen on you!
You're hogging up all the screentime, quite literally, so shoo!
I've got fabulous hair, you look like you showered after getting a perm,
Also why are you so dirty? What are you, a worm?
I've got skills and I'm ready to own Hollywood in the fraction of a second!
My face is also smoking hot, don't you reckon?
This is Topher's house, I'm the one with all the charming skill,
I have an interview with Chris so shoo if you will.
Sugar:
Fractions? Who needs all of that useless mathematical junk!
It ain't gonna protect ya when I throw a tractor at your trunk!
I'm gonna tear you apart in about three seconds, you're like a greasy chicken leg!
Sugar's the real queen of the pageant, you're fifteen minutes is up, now don't go and beg.
Topher:
Why would I need to beg, I'm the next coming superstar!
What kind of pageants do you compete in? You look more like a car!
I'm great, perfect and fabulous, there is nothing wrong with me.
Now hold up your appetite, honey, you'll never make it with fame, capishce.