Chapter 4
She was strong enough to change transports now, and who better than her saviour? A being who could provide her with so much food?
Unfortunately there was something she hadn't taken into account. The very fact that He had so much power was as much of a curse as it was a blessing. He was strong. Very strong. Strong enough to expel her instantly if He felt He were being threatened and so, unfortunately, she'd had to force herself on Him rather more firmly than was polite and use His own strength against Him. Take on far more food then she actually needed and use that to keep Him subdued. It was very bad manners, of course, but now she was away from the smaller creature, she really couldn't take the chance. In her current state she was in urgent need of His energy and had no way of hunting for what she required without His assistance.
Control gained, she had even more delicate balancing work to do. She needed to be able to access His memories and feelings, whilst also ensuring He remained docile. Unfortunately, according to those of His friends she interacted with, she'd not been as successful as hoped; confusion seeping from them as they constantly asked after His health.
She would need to do very much better from now on if her mission was to be a success.
And, in order to complete that task she would need to check the suitability of His friends, which would require Him to get very much closer to each of them. Now all she needed to was to work out how she was going to achieve this.
~o~0~o~
Merlin wished he could talk to Gaius about these odd periods of memory loss. Fortunately he was no longer loosing whole days, just smaller blocks of times when he'd find himself somewhere with no memory of how he'd got there or what had just happened – which was bad enough, of course.
Like early that morning, for example, when he suddenly realised he was standing close to Arthur in the prince's chambers with no memory of anything that had happened after waking up and checking on Ouzel.
And now it seemed, for some inexplicable reason, he was hugging Arthur.
"Ah... sorry I..." Merlin pulled away quickly from the prince and his muscles bunched instinctively as he prepared to duck and run away, but Arthur just stood there, blinking strangely, tipping his head to one side and viewing Merlin curiously.
"Most interesting," he said, quietly.
"Interesting?" Merlin asked cautiously. "What is?"
"Hello." And now the prince was just smiling at him, moving slightly closer, his eyes bright and focused entirely on his servant.
"Ah..." Merlin took a hasty step backwards and then quickly looked around the room, noticing the full breakfast tray on the prince's table and making a few quick deductions. "You've not eaten, Arthur. Look, here's breakfast." He glanced again at the tray and frowned. Not only could he not remember collecting the food this morning, but it also seemed to be a different selection than he'd normally chose.
"Yes, I should eat," the prince agreed. "It seems I need more food than you do."
"Hah!" Merlin replied, relaxing as Arthur started to act far more like his normal self.
"Come sit down with me, Merlin. There's more than enough here for the two of us."
Then again...
"Seriously?"
"Yes, of course," Arthur said, indicating his servant should take the chair next to his.
"The visitors are due tomorrow?" Merlin asked, quickly taking advantage of Arthur's rare generosity and grabbing a large piece of cheese as he took the offered seat.
The prince frowned and Merlin assumed he was still uncertain about sharing such news with his servant, even though he'd already found out quite a bit from Gwen and Morgana during the last couple of days.
"Yes, lord Alis and his sister Charlotte," Arthur replied, again surprising Merlin with his uncharacteristic openness. "Their father is a lord of great importance, it seems, and the brother is here to talk to the king about some treaty or another." He smiled brightly. "I'm sure it will be very interesting."
"Ha! Not what you usually say about such visits."
"Perhaps." Arthur was silent for a moment, chewing on a piece of bread and thinking. "You're looking tired, Merlin. Am I overworking you? Do you need some time off?"
Merlin almost chocked on the piece of bread he was eating. "What? Now? When we've so much to organise and I also have to cover for Gaius?" He shook his head. "Thanks, Arthur, it's nice of you to worry - a bit unusual - but... let's get through this visit first, shall we? Don't want to upset the visiting nobility."
"You're quite right, of course." Arthur nodded and took some more food. "They'll still be time for training though."
"As if you'd want to miss that," Merlin joked as he stood up. "Right then, let me go and get your armour."
"You've hardly eaten a thing."
"I'm fine. That's far more than I usually have."
"Oh..." Arthur frowned again, contemplating this.
Merlin looked at the prince suspiciously before shaking his head. "I'll be right back," he said eventually.
"Yes, of course, but don't overdo it, will you?"
~o~0~o~
After training the pair returned to the prince's chambers, but not before they were accosted by a number of people who wished to discuss the imminent visitors. Uther also left a message for Arthur to attend him as soon as he'd changed and so the two walked a little faster in order to get ready.
"What are your plans now?" Arthur asked his servant.
"I should probably get back to the physician's chambers, in case there's anything for me to do there." He sighed. "I just hope there are no serious medical problems whilst Gaius is away, as I really can't do much more than give out potions and treat a few minor ailments."
"You'll be fine, and I'm sure he won't be away for much longer," Arthur said as the pair entered the prince's chambers.
"Hopefully."
"Anyway, Merlin, before you go. Could you come over here for a moment?"
"What is it?" Merlin asked, automatically moving closer.
"Here..." Arthur held an arm out, as if about to guide his servant towards something but as soon as he had him in his grasp, he changed his grip and suddenly pulled Merlin close against his body.
"What are you...?"
The next thing Merlin was aware of was Arthur's lips against his; warm and moist. He froze for a moment, before relaxing – finding the experience unexpectedly pleasant.
But, this couldn't be right, surely? He must still be in this strange, never ending dream he appeared to have been caught up in for the last few days. Arthur would never kiss him for … all sorts of reasons but... It had to be a dream, right? So, he supposed there was no harm in just letting continue for a little while longer.
Although he really did need to get back to Gaius' chambers and...
~o~0~o~
"...What?"
He blinked once and opened his eyes, only to find himself in a corridor standing in front of Gwen, his hands over hers as he apparently took a pile of laundry from her.
"Thank you, Merlin, that's very kind," his friend said.
He pulled away, blinking furiously, trying to work out what had just happened. Hadn't he been in Arthur's chambers just now? Hadn't he and the prince been...?
He gave a nervous, high-pitched laugh. "Ah, where are you taking this, Gwen?" he managed.
"To the linen store, if you wouldn't mind. Are you alright, Merlin? You haven't been yourself recently."
"Actually, I'm not sure that I am," he replied. "I've been suffering from memory loss or... something. I think I must just be tired."
"Are you sure that's all it is? Are you sure that's nothing else troubling you? I'm free for a short while now if you want to talk."
"Well, I really do need to be getting to the physician's chambers."
Assuming he hadn't already been there. It was getting a bit hard to remember recently.
"That's fine," Gwen replied. "I'll come with you and perhaps I can help with some chores there too."
"Well, if you don't mind?"
"Of course not. You know I've always been happy to help Gaius when I'm able."
~o~0~o~
"Forgetting large parts of your day? That can't be good," Gwen said as the two friends sat down on one of the benches in the physician's chambers.
Merlin shrugged. "I suppose. Part of me has been wondering whether I'm awake or asleep these last few days. I seemed to have missed one day completely and today, well, I just find myself places with no memory of how I got there."
"Well, I hope Gaius is back soon, because that sounds as if it could be serious."
"Even Arthur asked if I wanted some time off," he continued. "But, what with these visitors coming tomorrow..."
"Yes." Gwen bit her lip, suddenly thoughtful. "Are you sure there's nothing upsetting you, Merlin? The only time I've heard of anyone experiencing strange things like that was if they were under an exceptional amount of stress."
"Well...?" Now he came to think about it, there was one way he could talk about Freya without having to explain all the magical or compromising parts of the story. "I did get some bad news from home last week."
"Oh no! Your mother?"
"No, no. She's fine it's just... this friend of mine. A girl I grew up with."
"Oh. Did we meet her when we were in Ealdor?"
"No, she was away then." He paused, thinking carefully before he continued. "I suppose I thought... perhaps I might send for her one day – when we were both ready. You know, perhaps even... marry her?"
"Oh..." Gwen smiled. "That sort of friend."
"Yes, but..." Even the partial truth was beginning to bring all the memories back and he felt tears starting to sting at his eyes.
"What happened?" Gwen asked kindly, leaning forward to put a gentle hand on his arm.
"S-she died... I only recently found out and... I didn't think I should say anything because..."
"Idiot," Gwen said, her tone affectionate, despite the insult. "Why would you not? Even Arthur would have understood something like that, you know he would."
Merlin smiled slightly. "Yes, I should have thought." It really was a very easy excuse to give but then, why would he be thinking straight after everything he'd been through recently?
Gwen moved a little closer to him, wrapping her arms around him and holding him close and Merlin leant his head against hers, his eyes closing, revelling in the gentle intimacy. He had no idea how long the two of them stayed like that but, the next thing he was aware of was the main door opening and Morgana entering.
She raised an eyebrow. "Oh, am I interrupting something?"
"Oh, it's fine." Gwen only pulled away a little, still with an arm around him. "Merlin wasn't feeling well, that's all."
"Just over tired," he said hastily. "I feel much better now. Thanks, Gwen."
"Well, I'm glad I've caught you both here together," Morgana said, moving closer. "Because I was looking for Gwen and was also hoping that you might have my sleeping draught ready for me, Merlin."
"Oh yes, I can do that." He went to stand up but Gwen pulled him down again.
"You should slow down, Merlin," she said. "None of this dashing around."
"As if. I told you, Gwen, I feel much better now."
"Well... you take it easy." She stood up with him, still holding onto his arm and then pulled a little, standing on her tiptoes to plant a gentle kiss on his lips and then...
~o~0~o~
Time had jumped again. In fact, for a moment Merlin thought he must have gone back a few hours because he was involved in another deep kiss just like earlier. However, it didn't take long for him to realise that this one felt different and he blinked as he opened his eyes, trying to focus on the person he was currently pressed up against.
It was Morgana. He was kissing Morgana!
He felt a strange sensation then, a type of buzz, as if someone was whispering nearby. As he started to pull away, he extending his magical senses outwards in an attempt to work out what he was hearing but Morgana was having none of it, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him closer - kissing him even more passionately - and he quickly succumbed.
I am so confused.
~o~0~o~