Friday May 30th 2008
Richmond Virginia
A little over two years later.
Mercy sat on the porch she looked down at the letter and frowned. Sam and Puck walked towards her.
"Hey Mercy want to play a lil one on one."
"No cause it's not one on one it's you and Sam against me. And I always lose."
"Uh huh well why are you sitting out here looking all sad then?"
Mercedes stared at the ground biting her lip. "Because…I'm leaving."
Puck sat next to her.
"What do you mean you are leaving?"
"I got into UCLA and I start in the fall. I'm going to live with my dad and his family."
"But we are your family."
"I know but I have a father, two sisters, and a brother who I don't know but would like to. I wish they were closer to here but they aren't."
Sam folded his arms.
"So you're just up and leaving…what about us."
"Oh come on we all will stay in touch. I love you guys and we still have till July to hang."
Sam shook his head backing away from her. "No we don't we are leaving tomorrow for Europe and won't be back till August."
"When did you decide that I thought you weren't leavening till end of July?"
Puck Sighed. "We changed our minds we wanted to see you off to your sophomore year of college since you made a huge fuss about it."
"Guys I'm so sorry…I don't want to leave but I need to know my family."
"Why can't you just keep randomly visiting them?"
"Because I have spent 19 years away from them. Guys I know its last minute but you understand don't you?"
"Yeah I guess." Puck nodded as Sam continued to stand there quietly.
"Can I talk to you guys alone?"
"Why alone?"
"Well I have things I want to say to you both. And I want to spend some time with each of you."
"I gotta do some things."
Sam turned and left. Mercy looked at Puck.
"I gotta talk to him first is that ok?"
"Yeah just find me when you're done."
Mercy walked into the Garage apartment and sighed seeing Sam was sitting on his bed writing on his laptop. She stood at the doorway looking at him. She walked closer to him.
"Sam can we talk?"
"Go ahead…talk."
"I know you're mad at me and I'm sorry I just sprang this up on you."
He looked at her.
"Why didn't you tell me? I thought we could talk about anything?"
"I wanted to and I tried but it just hurt too much thinking that I would lose you."
"Then why are you going?"
"Sam this is a chance for me to be with my father how can I give that up."
"You can't."
"Please don't be mad at me."
"I'm not mad at you…I'm just gonna miss you."
"I'm gonna miss you too…you are my best friend."
"I know."
"I need to tell you something."
"Ok."
She moved closer to him. "You remember that night a couple of weeks ago. When we went to the movies kinda made out. A lot actually."
"Yeah."
"And then the next day we just acted like nothing happened."
"Yeah I remember.
"That's our thing you know? For the past two years we hangout and make out and then act like nothing happened, like it wasn't a big deal but it always was a big deal because I love you and I." She paused wondering if she could really be open with him about what she wanted.
"You what?"
"I want to give you something."
"This again?"
"Yeah but you don't have to close your eyes."
Mercy walked over to him, and placed his laptop on the floor. She wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed him on the lips. She felt drawn to him at that moment. He pulled her towards him and wrapped her arms around him. He held her close and took her in and she took him. Every time she kissed him she fought against wanting more but today she couldn't fight it anymore. She pulled away, pulled her tee shirt over her head, and then proceeded to remove his shirt. She kissed him again. He pulled away and looked at her.
"Mercy do you know what you are doing?"
She shook her head no before standing and walking to the door so she could lock it.
"I want you Sam and I know in theory what that means but I guess I want you to really teach me the meaning of wanting you and wanting to make love to you."
"Mercy." He said in half moan and half growl. It would take everything he had in him to deny her this.
"What Sam? You taught me how to kiss so I think it's only right I let you teach me new things."
"Mercy I don't think we should do this. It's not right. I am 25."
"And I am 19 and well above the age of legal consent. And Sam I am consenting that you do any and everything you want to me."
She moved back to the bed and pulled him closer, then kissed him again as he caressed her back. He unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them down. She shivered as he kissed her stomach then a trail that led right back to her lips. He laid her on the bed and kicked off his pants. She felt him on her leg and shivered. He looked at her.
"Mercy I am serious. Are you sure? There is no going back after this."
"Sam you of all people know that I never do anything I don't want to do. So the question is are you sure, you want to do this. With me?"
She looked at him and he didn't even have to think about his answer. He bent his head down as he kissed her, his hands exploring her body. Caressing every inch of her.
"If it gets too much for you let me know. Let me take care of you Merce."
All she could do was nod. He covered her lips with his as his hands caressed her thighs. Moving his lips down to her breast he moaned as she removed her bra, he always knew she was blessed, but getting to actually see them in the flsh made him harder than he already was.
"God Mercy you are so beautiful." He feasted on her buds as his hands moved lower and spread her thighs. She closed her eyes as he slipped a finger inside of her. She felt her body heat up as he added another finger.
"Sam." she moaned out and he smiled up to her.
"You like that?"
"Mmmh hmmm."
He kissed continued to teased her nipples as he worked his fingers inside of her. She moaned and he needed to hear more of her cries.
"Sam it feels so good, so damn good baby."
He looked up at her and smiled, he knew the answer to his next question but he had to ask.
"You want me to stop?"
"No. please no."
He nodded as he moved his lips down to her center, at first swipe he knew he could become addicted to her if he wasn't careful. He went to taste her again as she tried to close her legs. He pulled them apart and teased her slightly by kissing her thighs.
"You taste so good Merce." He said diving head first back to her core. "Sweeter than anything I have ever had."
"Sam what are you doing to me?" She moaned out feeling him take her higher.
"You wanted me to teach you so let me teach you." He mumbled with his mouth full, he could spend days between her legs. As he added his two fingers back and worked her clit she screamed out loudly and clawed at his bed. He looked up at her.
"Mercy you gotta lower your voice."
"Sam don't stop. please."
She grabbed his pillow and placed it over her mouth as she reached her climax. Sam lapped up her juices enjoying every things she offered to him. He kissed his way halfway up her body as she pulled him up to her the rest of the way. Not being able to hold back any longer, he aligned himself with her and entered her as slowly as he could and as he did, she felt her whole body shake under him. Tears came to her eyes from the pain. Sam started to pull away.
"Mercy I'm sorry."
She pulled him back to her shaking her head.
"Keep going I'm ok. I promise."
As they moved to the beat of their own music and the pain melted away and the intensity of the pleasure he gave her overwhelmed her body. She felt alive at his touch. As they were rocking back and forth, Sam held her close. She felt out of control, like her movements weren't her own. She bucked up against him faster as he inscreassed his speed. Looking down at her Sam took her lips to his.
"I love you Mercedes so much...I love you."
Her heard swelled hearing the words she craved since she was 12. "I love you too."
Those three words worked her up to the point she was spiraling out of control. Her body convulsed and she knew she was close. Mercedes couldn't speak she could only muffle screams of pleasure as the minutes ticked away passion consumed them. It wasn't until she reached her climax did she fully know she loved this man. The earth shook around them as they both lay on the bed. Both to shocked to speak. Mercy looked over at him and wanted more. She wanted his arms around her again and for him to tell her that he loved her again. She smiled at him.
"Sam I love you so much."
Sam's heart skipped a beat unsure of what he should say. "Uh Ok."
Mercedes sat up. "Sam, I said I love you."
"Mercy I don't know what to say."
"What."
"Mercy…I…what do you want me to say?"
"Say that I did not imagine hearing you tell me you loved me say that I'm not stupid for coming up here and giving you me all of me. Say that you love me."
"Mercy I do love you but not how you think. If I have led you on I'm so sorry but we can't be more than friends."
She inched away from him. "What…so then if you felt that way then why did you kiss me…why did you make me feel like there was a chance…why did you sleep with me?"
Sam sighed running his hands through his hair. "Mercy you caught me by surprise and ok yea it was great and all but that is all it was."
"So you just used me."
"Mercy no, that's not what I was trying to do."
"So telling me you loved me was a lie?"
"No. I do love you." "so much" he thought to himself but was unable to follow through.
She moved back to him. "Well then hold me kiss me and be with me."
"Mercy we can't be together you understand don't you?"
"Yeah right of course I do I can't believe I came all the way up here and put my feelings out in the open and gave you all of me just to have you reject me after."
"Mercy please don't be upset."
She got up and started to put her clothes back on.
"Upset. Sam I have loved you since I was 12. You taught me how to kiss and all I have ever wanted was you. And finally after all these years I finally get up enough courage to tell you that I love you and give you all of me you just walk away from me. You tell me that you don't want me."
Sam stood from the bed grabbing his sweats. "I do want you."
"Then what is the problem?"
"Mercy we can't be together."
"Cant or wont?"
"I'm sorry I don't know what you want from me."
"Nothing I don't want a damn thing from you."
Mercy walked away but he grabbed her arm.
"Mercy please."
Yanking her arms away from him she wiped her tears. "Please what? Sam this may not mean anything to you but please don't pity me."
She walked out the Garage and down to the back porch leaving Sam to stand alone deep in his own thoughts.
Mercedes kicked a pile of dirt angrily as she wiped her tears away and held herself tight. He didn't love her and she gave her virginity away as if it was nothing. She felt sick to her stomach. Puck walked over to her and sat down.
"I thought I heard you out here."
"Hey Puck." She said trying to straiten herself out.
"You ok?"
"Yeah."
He frowned at her. "So you're really leaving us?"
"I talked to Daddy Joe and Momma Ruby and they both think it would do me some good to be with them awhile. And after today I do too."
"I know it will but I'm gonna miss you."
She turned towards him. "I'm gonna miss you too. I love you and look up to you. You have been a wonderful big brother and role model. And no matter how hard I look I will never find another person who meant as much to me as you do."
"I know. I love you too."
He hugged her and she held him tight.
"I am gonna miss you guys so much."
"But you're gonna miss Sam more?"
She pulled away.
"What?"
"Mercy. I am older I am wiser and I know you have feelings for him."
"How?"
"The way you look at him is the way Quinn looks at me. Like I am some amazing, man and she won the lottery. It's my own fault. Because he is my best friend I figured you would look at him as another big brother."
Mercy picked a rock up from the ground and tossed it at the fence.
"Well my feelings don't matter much anyways."
"You told him and he shot you down?"
"Something like that. I don't know how it happened Puck. I was fine being one of the guys but then one day I didn't want to be one of the guys I wanted to be."
"Be what? You know you can tell me anything."
"I wanted to be his woman."
"Mercy you are a great young woman and any man would be lucky to have you but Sam is not one of those guys."
"Why?"
"Because you're 19. You're still a baby and he is 25."
"Quinn is younger than you."
"I know that but I love her."
"Why can everyone else have what they want but not me?"
"I didn't want him to hurt you. And Now I see that he has."
"How could you know he would?"
"Because he is a man first. And I love Sam he has been my best friend for almost twenty years but you are my baby sister. You came to us at a couple of months old and when mom let me hold you, I swore I would love you and protect you. And I have done that. But the one thing I can't protect you from is a broken heart. But I will try my damnedest to make sure it doesn't happen again."
"Well you don't have to worry about that. I am leaving and Sam and I are done."
"You can't mean that he's your best friend."
"I do. Puck he broke my heart and that is something I can't forgive."
Tear streamed down her face as Puck hugged her again.
"I know it doesn't feel good and I am sorry that he did that to you but he does care about you."
"Puck I want to believe that but I can't. I have been in love with him for almost 8 years. He taught me how to kiss how to really kiss."
Puck folded his arms.
"He what? Why didn't you tell me?"
"What should I have done told you every time we made out?"
"Wait how long have you two been doing stuff?"
"Puck!"
"I am serious."
"Fine if you want all the dirty details Sam taught me how to kiss. Yeah when I was 16. We made out after the graduation party and at the movies."
"Ok that is enough I don't wanna hear anymore."
"Puck I can't help how I feel about him no more than you can help how you feel about Quinn."
"I know that."
"and that is why it hurts so much. Why was I good enough to hang out with and make out with but not to be with? He cancelled dates just to have movie nights with me. he would pick me up from school just because he felt like it. he treated me better than any of the girls he was dating and yet I get nothing."
"Sam doesn't want to hurt you. he has never been the settling down type anyways. Always breaking up with a girl once she gets too serious."
"How do you stop the pain?"
"I don't know Mercy. If I could I would take it for you. but I cant."
"I hate him. I hate feeling this way."
"I could kill him for hurting you."
"I know and for that I love you."
"I Love you too."
After an hour of talking, Puck went off to find Quinn and Mercy went off to her room. She looked out at the night sky thought about what happened between her and Sam. Someone knocked on her door.
"Go away I don't wanna talk to anyone."
"Mercedes please we need to talk."
She walked to the door and opened it. she stared at Sam wanting to kiss him and punch him at the same time.
"what? Didn't get enough of breaking my heart? Wanna come back and spit on me."
"I know you are angry. But you cant leave mad at me. we have been friends your whole life it cant just end like this."
"I cant be your friend anymore it hurts too much."
"I never meant to hurt you. I shouldn't have let it go that far."
"so why did you?"
"I was caught up in the moment. I wanted you and maybe I shouldn't have had you but what else was I supposed to do."
"it's not what we did Sam. You were always gonna be my first I always knew that. It's what you said."
"what did I say?"
"that you loved me."
"I do."
"but you wont be with me?"
"I cant."
"then we have nothing else to say to each other. I wont be your consolation prize. I wont be the loser who has to sit around and watch as you go from girl to girl."
"I don't know why you are getting so upset about this. You are the one leaving me."
"then tell me you don't want me to go. tell me you want to be with me. give me a reason to stay."
Sam looked into her eyes. Wanting to say all the words she wanted to hear. He didn't want her to go. he wanted her to stay. He wanted to be with her. he loved her.
"I."
He stepped back and looked away from her. there was no way he could stop her from living her life no matter how he felt.
"I cant tell you that."
"Then get out of my face, my room and my life."
She turned and walked to her bathroom and slammed the door. Sam started to walk away but stopped. He grabbed the chain he had around his neck and walked over to her desk. He grabbed her note book and jotted down a few words. He placed the chain and the note on her pillow then shut the door as he walked out of her room. Mercedes opened the bathroom door with tears free falling from her eyes. She went to the bed and laid on it.
As she turned over towards the window she noticed the letter and chain on her second pillow on the bed. She wiped her eyes and grabbed it.
"Mercedes. I swear I never meant to hurt you. whether you believe me or not I never wanted to lead you on. I do love you and I don't know how I am gonna make it without you in my life. You remember the story behind this chain. It belonged to my great grandfather. He passed it to my grandfather who gave to me instead of my dad because he wanted me to be a better man than my father. My great grandmother gave the chain and cross to my great grandfather on his twentieth birthday. It's my most prized possession means everything to me. and now as you take this new path and new journey I want to be with you wherever you go. I will always carry you with me. and now you can carry me with you. Sam."
She wiped her eyes and held the chain to her heart. As she laid in bed holding the chain she thought back on the past 19 years and how much she was going to miss her family. And how much she was gonna miss Sam. The moment they shared had been real for both of them. He was the love of her life but she knew she had to let him go.