Lauren's POV.
I'm in bed watching Cash In The Attic. Mum had this little womanly chat with me last night, after Joey left. And she probably thought I'd be up and dressed and ready for the day, because hey, who cares if Joey doesn't want me anymore? As long as I do my hair up nice and put some make-up on everything's alright! I'm wearing one of Joey's t-shirts, but his smell has nearly gone from it. I wear it nearly every night and if I'm not wearing it, I'm sleeping with it. I don't want to wash it because it's all I have left of him. That and the massive hole in my heart labelled 'Joey.' I drink because I can't let myself accept that Joey doesn't want me. I have to drink because I have to be off my head to get through the day. I let him in; I let myself fall in love with him even though I knew it was wrong. So I guess I had it coming. The pathetic thing is if he came to me now and said he wants me back, I would go. Without a shadow of a doubt. What me and Joey had was different. Peter was just a childhood thing and Ryan was so good-looking, I was kinda blown away by him. I loved Peter, I think. As a friend. But nothing has ever been like it was with Joey and nothing ever will. Cos that kind of love never comes round again. You get it once in your life and you keep hold of it and never let go. But I fucked it up, just like I fuck everything up. And the only thing that lets me live with myself and lets me carry on, is alcohol. So how can I give that up? How can I give up the only thing that keeps me going? As I reach under my bed for a bottle of vodka, there is a quiet knock on my door.
"Darling, it's me. Can I come in?" Mum's voice calls out.
"Yeah." I reply and quickly retrieve my hand.
"I've made you some coffee and I got your favourite." She waves a Toblerone at me and I smile a small smile.
"You have got a beautiful smile, you know that?" Mum sits down on my bed, handing me the mug and chocolate bar.
"Thanks Mum." I tell her and she strokes my hair.
"Are you alright, darling?" Mum asks, softly.
"No, Mum." I sniff and tears threaten to fall.
"I can't see you like this anymore, darling." Mum looks like she's about to cry too.
"I'll never stop loving Joey." I sob and then the tears aren't just threatening, they're falling.
"Oh, darling." Mum pulls me into a hug.
"Lucy spiked my drink, Mum. And he didn't believe me. I want to hate him but I can't because I love him." I cling onto my mum tightly and sob on to her shoulder.
"Oh, sweetheart. Drinking isn't gonna help. It'll just delay the inevitable. You can't bury what you're feeling because when you do let all these feelings you're trying to repress come to the surface they'll be ten times worse than they are now." Mum pats my back, trying to console me.
"Why does it hurt so much, Mum? Why can't I hate him? I should be able to hate him." I sniff and roughly wipe my hand across my cheeks and nose.
"Because he's The One. The one boy who will completely ruin you and destroy you and you will let him because even the bad days with him, the worst arguments, the darkest moments, they're all better than not being with him." Mum wipes my tears away and still more fall.
"He is The One. I won't ever feel like this for anyone, ever again. He's changed my life. I didn't know I was capable of all this feeling, before him." The tears continue to stream down my face, thick and fast.
"It won't hurt like this forever. One day, you'll even be able to get up and have a smile on your face like nothing's wrong. I promise, darling." Mum assures me.
"When?" I ask, desperately.
"When you least expect it. You'll be able to pass him in the street and control the urge to fall into his arms." Mum promises.
"Mum? Who was your One?" I ask her.
"Your Dad." She says, sadly.
"So you still love him?" I frown.
"I never stopped, darling." Mum whispers. She wipes my tears away again and kisses my cheek. As I open my mouth to say something, our doorbell goes off, followed by persistent banging on the door. Not even knocking, like proper banging.
"Now, get dressed ay, sweetheart? Put your best dress on and a smile. I'll get that." Mum pats my arm then leaves the room to go and answer the door.
When I get up to go the bathroom, Mum calls me.
"Lauren? It's for you."
Sorry to leave it on a cliffhanger but I will update soon! Thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter, I'm happy you're enjoying it. Thank you to the guets reviewers I can't reply, I appreciate all your comments! (Naz- glad you're liking, I checked your videos out and have left comments!)