Drew has a thing, something one might call weird, he likes to do with his girlfriends. He likes to photograph them as if they were in a men's magazine photo shoot. Many of his exes were used to being naked around cameras, but Liz wasn't.

"Really, my bra can't be on?"

Drew shrugged behind Liz's iPhone. "Not in all of them. Try a sip of wine, you might feel better then."

Next to Liz on her coffee table was a small bottle of not-that-old wine. She could never taste the difference, nor could Drew. Liz was sitting on the couch in a white cotton bra, underwear (Drew found the term "panties" douchy), and socks. "I refuse to take off my socks," she said.

"Whatever you're comfortable with," said Drew, "we can cut out that much."

Liz smiled. "You have one thing right." She took a sip of wine from the bottle. Drew liked that in a sexual way. "Now, can we have some classy bra shots first?"

"Sure," Drew said, "I don't want you uncomfortable." Liz mumbled something. "What was that?"

"Oh, nothing," Liz giggled.

"No, seriously," Drew said, "what was it?"

Still smiling, Liz said, "Oh, just that if you didn't want me uncomfortable, you wouldn't make me take this picture."

"I'm not making you do anything Liz," Drew said, "I'm saying that it's recommended you should do this for the sake of our relationship or we could break up."

Liz rolled her eyes. "Drew, that's pressuring me."

"I'm sorry, Liz, for not knowing words sometimes!" yelled Drew.

"I'm sorry, Drew, for not wanting my boobs photographed by you!" yelled Liz back.

"Does it make a difference whether it's me or not?," Drew asked, a little hurt now. "Would you rather it be a lesbian?"

"That's not it, Drew," Liz was really feeling it now, it seemed, "It's that it's rarely what I want! It's you! It's your mom and sister spoiling you, or your mom and grandma?"

That stung. "I should go now," Drew said.

"Yeah, you should," Liz was unforgiving this evening.

#

A few hours later, Drew was sitting at home watching MILF Island. The general show was tasteless and gross, especially while dating a comedy writer, but he had a man crush on the host. He looks like he could be a doctor, unlike Drew himself. He wasn't much of a doctor. He was rarely scheduled, but consistently paid. He never questioned the system, mostly because it left him time to have a life. A life, which Liz was a part of.

He was a dick. This was established. A world class ass. A sex loving jerk, who almost settles down on a consistent basis. He was a douche who realized his own douchiness: a meta-douche. Drew giggled, "A meta-douche" sounded like "I met a douche".

Damn it! He couldn't even be deep or angst filled. He was a fan fiction writers nightmare and a meta-douche/I met a douche.

On commercial, Drew got a text. It was from Liz. It read I have a surprise for you. Liz talked the same as she texted: boring!

Are you alone, Liz asked.

Drew looked around. No other people in his apartment. Yes, he responded.

That's when he got it. A picture. Full nudity, stopping at the knees. She was standing straight, with wide eyes and her lower lip up. She had thick eyeliner, making her brown eyes look brighter, even. Her hair was in two high ponytails. Her breasts were facing the same way.

Like Liz, Drew needed a sock. Pronto. He thought it would be sexy to text that to Liz. He was wrong and he regretted it immediately.

Why don't you come back over instead? Liz said.

#

Drew came over. They banged and apologized.

"Liz, I'm sorry I pressured you into taking your clothes off for me," Drew said, post coital.

"I'm sorry, too, Drew," Liz said, "I shouldn't have brought up your mother. It's too new."

"It's ok, Liz," said Drew, "I need to come to terms with it. It makes sense; she always went with me on my first day of school. She taught me how to drive. She's done a lot."

"At least she wasn't absent," Liz said. "I care about you."

"I care about you, too," said Drew.

All was happy in Drew's perfect world once again. For now.

#

A few months later, Drew and Liz broke up. This was expected. They were both "failboats" at maintaining stable relationships. Liz was back doing her thing, maybe sleeping with her boss? Who really cares. Drew was doing his own thing: seducing nurses in the closets where he worked. This current one was young and pale with curly brown hair. Twentysomething Liz? Maybe, but she did NOT mind the pictures one bit.

"I am getting paid for these, right?" she asked

"Yeah, sure. Whatever you want." Drew wasn't trying to be mean, but he missed Liz. Now that he knew of this bubble, he could abuse it as he pleased.

They took the pictures, Drew admitted to lying, and she didn't care. All was still right in Drew's world.

I'm almost required to write about Drew, being born and raised in St. Louis like Jon Hamm. Not many cool people are from here, but I digress.

It was a little hard to write as him. I couldn't think of a good plot, except a prequel to the one where Liz is blackmailed with the adult picture. What a shame Drew didn't want her driving a car in said photo.

Also, I needed to establish that it's at least semi normal to be attracted to Rob Huebel, AKA the MILF Island host. The doctor thing was because he's also on Childrens Hospital.