Why the hell would do people spend good money in a restaurant buying a simple pasta dish which can be made at home for a fraction of the price?

Mercedes mused the deep thought while trailing her carbonara with her fork. Whatever had possessed her to order carbs in a creamy sauce while wearing a little black dress clearly was on something illegal. But she kept on playing with her food, swirling it around the pasta bowl and failing miserably at getting it to gather in the perfect swirl around her fork. Anything to avoid looking up into Finn's eyes. He looked gorgeous, he looked hungry. And not just for pasta!

She'd tried to do the right thing and engage him in conversation about the latest political crisis in Eastern Europe but his reply of, "Quite frankly Mercedes, I don't understand what's going on there, and I don't really give a shit!" had quickly brought an end to that particular conversation. He'd seemed far more interested in asking something else. "So Jones, how do you know that ever anally retentive lawyer Evans?"

She smiled and took a soothing drag of her cigarette. Now this was something she could speak with confidence on. "Well, it appears that I used to run around naked in his paddling pool!"

Finn grinned lecherously, "I bet you did you dirty bitch!" Noticing Mercedes' laughter at his enthusiasm he asked, "So if I was to get one of those little paddling pools from Tesco and filled it with water would I be able to talk you into it?"

She widened her eyes at the barefaced cheek of the man. "Finn!" she cried in a shocked tone.

He pouted, "Ok, so what if I replaced the water with baby oil?"

She attempted to fight off her laughter by taking another drag of her cigarette but all that resulted was a deeply unflattering coughing fit. "Finn!"

He grinned unashamedly. "What? A guy's got to have some fantasies to relieve the tension caused by sexy marketing staff running around and constantly bending in skirts that are so tiny they should be illegal!"

Mercedes continued to cough and reached for her glass of wine downing it in one gulp and pausing for her throat to settle before daring to speak again. Two could play at the questioning game. "So how do you know him?"

Finn bit his lip and fiddled with his fingers. "We were at school together before he moved to America. Then when he came back, he looked me up and we rekindled our friendship to the point where I was best man at his wedding."

Well that was certainly wasn't what Mercedes had been expecting. Finn and Sam had been friends at one point? There was no way that she would have ever worked that one out from seeing how they glared and avoided each other! She leaned forward, her curiousity getting the better of her, "And then what?"

"And then… nothing!"

How the hell could he just leave it at that? Mercedes could smell a juicy story at fifty paces and this one sounded so good she could smell it at a hundred! Saying nothing she simply leaned forward and arched her eyebrow.

"Well," Finn pulled back slightly, avoiding her eyes while he played with his own cigarette, "A couple of years later, I made the somewhat catastrophic mistake of introducing him to my fiancée, only to find out a short while later he had continued to intimately introduce himself to her several times, on and against practically every surface of every room in the flat that she and I had just bought together." He paused slightly, as if lost in thought, "And I couldn't say in all honesty that I've ever quite forgiven him!"

"Oh wow!" Mercedes was shocked and her heart completely went out to Finn. That was totally not what she'd expected to hear. "So… he's a nasty bastard as well as a dull bastard!"

"Yes!" said Finn quickly, "Yes I think that's a fair description of him!" He paused for a moment, "Anyway, fuck him! Don't let him ruin our evening!" He reached over to the wine bottle and topped up her glass. "So, I want to hear the story of your first drunken lesbian experience while you were at boarding school!"

She laughed. "I've never had a lesbian experience and I never went to boarding school!"

He returned her smile. "I don't care! Those stories are hot! Make one up! Or I'm sure that we could make something up together!"

She joined him in the laughter. The man was funny as well as sexy. She was in grave danger and was shamelessly looking forward to seeing just how far a little bit of recklessness could take her.

Before long the food was gone, the bill had been paid (by Finn of course) and they were staggering out of the restaurant into the street, laughing hard even though neither of them even remembered what had started them off laughing in the first place.

Finn grabbed Mercedes tightly by the waist, spinning her around as she squealed like a little child. "Come on Jones," he said, "Let's get a cab and head back to my place. We can open another bottle of wine and have lots of hot steamy sex!"

The second Finn uttered the word 'sex', Mercedes instantly sobered up. Was this really happening? Hell yes! And the worst part? She totally wanted it, the sex part more than anything! It had been far far too long since anyone had scratched that particular itch and Mr Hudson had been the object of her lust for months now! She giggled nervously, common sense taking its sweet time to finally kick in, but kicking nonetheless. She shook her head slowly, almost apologetically, trying to convince herself more than she was trying to convince Finn. Good girls didn't just leap into their boss's bed on the first date, however tempting it may be. "No… no, no, no! I should get a taxi." She turned her head and raised her arm, hailing a black cab before turning back to him, "but thank you for a lovely dinner!"

Finn smiled and stroked her cheek. "It's a pleasure Jones!"

She opened her mouth to reply but nothing came out but a gasp, there could be nothing more because Finn's face was rapidly approaching hers, and before she could even begin to gather her thoughts their lips had met. Of all the hours she'd spent in the office, staring at the glass wall, imagining what it would be like to kiss Finn Hudson, nothing could have prepared her for this! Never had she expected so much hunger. This man actually wanted her. He actually really wanted her! He told her with his eyes. He told her with his lips, he told her with his tongue he told her with his-

Well hello there soldier!

"Do you guys actually want a taxi or not?" The cockney accent of the disgruntled taxi driver broke into their moment of rapture and Mercedes was sure that she couldn't hate any man more than she did that taxi driver for interrupting them. Then she thought of Sam Evans and figured that yeah, maybe there was just one man on the planet that she could hate more.

Finn practically carried her into the back of the cab where he continued to maul her and she willingly allowed herself to be mauled. To feel wanted and desired was exactly what she needed right now. Finn was murmuring complements in her ear as his hands roamed her body, completely unashamed that the taxi driver was just the other side of the screen. His hands roved over her curves with wonder and adoration rather than the harsh disappointment that she'd been expecting.

"Dammit Jones! I bet you're wet for me already!"

Oh you have no idea…

She gasped against his lips as his hand dropped to her thigh and began inching its way upwards, underneath her dress. "Finn! Stop! The driver-"

"The driver has to keep his eyes on the road. He can listen to me make you cum in the back seat of his car but he can't watch!"

"But there is such a thing as a rearview mirro – oh wow!" Her protests were quickly lost when his fingers reached their final destination underneath the skirt of her dress. The guy sure as hell knew exactly what he was doing, but Mercedes really didn't want to think too hard about that right now. She was far too busy enjoying the sheer recklessness of it all. Finn's fingers were all over her damp knickers and how he was trying to push them to the side to get his fingers underneath-

"Fuck Jones! What the hell are you wearing? It's not budging!"

Oh shit, those massive suck-it-all-in granny knickers!

He pulled up the skirt to take a closer look as she did her best to hold the dress down to prevent him from seeing. She was going to have to tell the driver to just take her home to die in her humiliation after finishing that tub of icecream in the freezer! Being stronger it didn't take him long to move her hands away during the back seat scuffle after only being able to capture the barest glimpse of them. This time he took a second, longer look and let out a long slow whistle. "Well fuck me! This really is something else! It's like a chastity belt but made of Lycra! I can't even see the top of it! How the hell am I supposed to get them off?"

Mercedes giggled while he shrugged. "I don't mind the challenge. It'll make the reward oh so much sweeter!" He returned to devouring her mouth while cupping her and squeezing her derrière in his hands.

"We're here!" The driver looked thrilled to be seeing the back of them as Finn tossed a twenty at him and helped Mercedes out of the taxi and into his flat. She didn't even get the chance to have a good look around before he was kissing her again, picking her up as if she was weightless and carrying her straight to the bedroom, depositing her on his king size bed. He stepped back from her to smile down at her disheveled state.

"Now Jones," his voice was now commanding just like it was in the office, "I need you to make yourself comfortable and think sexy thoughts. I'll be right back." Before she had the chance to even form a reply he was gone.

What the hell am I supposed to do now?

Look sexy, that's what! All your plucking and preening has been leading up to this point! Do them proud!

She kicked off her heels and scootched back further onto the bed. Should she take off the dress or should she leave it on? Should she climb under the covers or stay on top? What if Finn lost his appreciation for her curves once he saw the stretch marks that went along with them? Should she even maybe- All of her questions were interrupted by the man in question standing in the doorway humming 'Have You Met Miss Jones?'

The man must have moved at the speed of lightning because he was now naked apart from an extremely tented pair of boxers. He was staring at her with an appreciative smile, proudly holding up the treasures that he'd quickly cobbled together. In one hand was an opened bottle of wine, with two wine glasses nestled precariously between his fingers. One of the glasses contained several small foil packets. In the other hand was a scarily large pair of scissors.

"So, Miss Jones!" He made his way to the bed and deposited the bottle and the glasses on the bedside table before turning to face her with a wicked grin and snipping loudly with the scissors. "I think I may have just found us the solution to our unmovable giant knickers problem…"

Mercedes grinned up at him. Oh yeah. This was going to be good…

13th January

Weight: 164 pounds (due to an increase in physical exercise)

Cigarettes: 5 (all post coital)

Alcohol units: Too many to remember!

Dear Diary,

Am now officially a wanton sex goddess! My dry spell is most definitely over and I'm not entirely sure if I can walk in a straight line any longer! Finn Hudson is NOT a disappointment. I lost count of the number of times he made me-

Mercedes suddenly dropped her pen as a memory hit her. An embarrassing confusing memory. Her head was thrown back and her legs were around Finn's waist as he drove into her, eyes tightly shut and sweat starting to bead on his forehead while he was giving her everything that he had. It felt amazing. He felt amazing and then he'd opened his eyes and for a split second before she fell off the edge with him she could have sworn the eyes staring so intensely at her were green! But when she came down from her high and checked again, his eyes were definitely brown. As they had been, Finn's eyes had always been brown. The only guy she'd met that night with green eyes was Sam Evans. What the hell was she doing thinking of him just as she was starting to tumble into one of the most intense orgasms of her life?

Last time she checked she hated Sam Evans with a vengeance. Yet the thought of hot angry sex with him had totally got her off while she was with another man! It was so stupid when the guy was clearly so uptight he probably wouldn't have been able to satisfy her anyway, despite being a cheater in the past.

But it was a momentary lapse. A loose connection somewhere in her brain. A lot had happened that night and she was still processing. And for all the other countless orgasms she'd had that night, he made no further appearances in her mind.

Life has taken on a new air of danger! Have now started an 'office relationship'! Hopefully this will lead to lots of sex in inappropriate places. The kind of hot sex that would make Sue's toes curl as she sneakily makes calls related to her stupid house hunting.

I can't believe that within the first few days of the New Year I've actually managed to find myself a boyfriend! Things are definitely on the up!

Mercedes smiled into her glass of wine. She couldn't wait to tell her friends what had just happened to her!

It took several seconds to register in her brain that the sound which was rapidly pulling her from sleep was her mobile phone. With a heavy sigh she detangled herself from her bunched bed sheets and Finn's gangly limbs to answer it.

"Is that you sweetie?"

"Oh. Hi daddy!" Even though he knew it was her personal number, her father always seemed shocked when she actually answered the phone herself. She was determined to bring him kicking and screaming into the twenty first century if it was the last thing she did!

"Do you have a minute to talk, honey?"

She looked over at Finn's sleeping form and let out a sigh. He would want more sex when he woke up which she was more than happy to give, but right now, as he was fast asleep, she did actually have time to talk to her father.

"Mercy dear, I think we may have a problem..."

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that when one thing starts to go well in your life, another part will then decide to go completely tits-up!

Trouble always has a way of rearing its ugly head.

But this time, trouble had rather a good looking head.

And the rather good looking head was attached to the rather buff body of a certain Noah Puckerman...