Not mines.
I love my Tanya, she is a bitch, but can have a heart sometimes.
EPOV
"So we'll spend the weekend together, anyway" I said smiling. "Alone"
"Alone? Don't you have colleagues there?" asked Bella surprised.
"It's just for the meeting, then two days of boredom or fun, now" I said winking at her.
Our waitress came. "Steak with potatoes and a coke" I said, then looking at Bella, "Make it two". The woman nodded and left.
"I could have asked for my food alone! Anyway, tell me about tonight. I feel a cold coming and I won't be able to make it" she whispered scared.
"You'll be fine. And you won't call in sick! It's my ass in the middle" I told her.
"Then I should come, we don't want anything to happen to your ass" she teased me.
"Just be your usual charming self and don't kill her if she does something indecent" I murmured, knowing how Tanya could get.
"Indecent?" she asked confused.
"You'll see or hopefully, you won't" I said. The food came and we started eating. The last time we had guests, Tanya had been all over me to show everyone just how much we still loved each other. I sort of participated in her show, it was before I found my Bella. I prayed Tanya would be good tonight.
"I hadn't had such good steak since I ate at the diner, back home" Bella murmured.
"Right, they made a mean one! But not better than yours. Ah, when you cook next time, invite me over" I said grinning. I missed her cooking.
"When I have time, I cook. But lately…I just buy things and throw them in the microwave" she mumbled.
Her phone rang just when I wanted to suggest dessert.
"Where are you?...What are you doing at my flat?...No, get to my office…What have you done now?...Ok, tell her to come with you, it's better if we all talk. Really, Jake, I've told you to try and quench this desire! Isn't your wife enough? Ok, fine. I'll be there soon" she hung up and looked at me apologetically.
"I am truly sorry, Edward. I have to go" she said.
"I'll drive you. Put that aside before I get mad. I invited you here!" I said gesturing to her credit card.
I drove her back to work.
"Bella" She turned to me expecting me to say something, I could see she was in a hurry.
"When do you get off? I want to come and get you" I offered.
"Six, I hope. It all depends on Jake. I need to go home. Oh , maybe five. But you aren't coming after me"
"I am. So I could drive you home afterwards. Don't argue. I'll see you here at five" I said, leaning over and kissing her. One kiss wasn't enough, never enough.
"Edward! I'm in a hurry. And don't you have to be at your office or something?" she asked still kissing me.
"Now that you mentioned, I have a meeting, but I can't leave. Oh, Bella" I whispered taking her head in my hands and kissing her thorough. Her hands got in my hair and I moaned loudly. She broke the kiss and looked somewhat angry. What had I done?
"Can I ask something? It's normal to enjoy it…it's your wife" she mumbled the last part, but I heard her.
"Bella? What are you talking about?" I asked caressing her face with the back of my hand.
"It's stupid" she mumbled blushing. "When she kissed you…at her work…you moaned"
Oh shit, I can't stop that sound coming from me. She read through me and nodded slowly.
"No! I…she…you see, Bella" Shit, what have I done?
"It's normal to still be with her, too. It's-"
"I don't care about her! And I'm a man, a stupid one at that! Sometimes…I don't think with the right head" I told her truthfully.
She nodded again and reached for the door handle. I covered her hand with mine, "No, Bella. I'm sorry"
"Sorry for still feeling attracted to your wife?" she asked in a tight voice and got out, slamming the door. Her words rang in my head on the way to my office. Do I still love Tanya? Maybe I love her, but I'm not in love with her! Shit, one must be stupid not to feel attracted to her. And I hurt Bella's feelings when I moaned while my wife kissed me as if she wanted to fuck me there. True, I've neglected her. I got my release with my beautiful angel. I'm a bad person! A horrible one!
"Bro, where have you been?" asked Emmett, steadying me when I collided with him. "Got the clumsiness from Bella?" he teased. I punched him in the shoulder, shoving him out of my way.
"Don't get defensive on me. Aren't you happy what I've done for you?" he asked following me in my office. He looked damn proud of getting two tickets.
"Tanya is not in town then" I said.
"So? I got the other one for Bella, anyway" he answered, plopping himself on my couch.
"Bella?"
"Haven't I told you on the phone? Or do you have memory problems?" he teased me.
"Emmett…why are you dong this?"
"Fuck, man. One has to be blind not to see how much you two still drool over each other! The other day, here, in your office" he explained.
"I'm very happy with my marriage with Tanya" I said, hoping he will leave me alone.
"Quote 'We meet again'. What does that says to you? I'm not stupid! Tanya has called all of us the night before asking if we knew where you are! You were with Bella. I should feel bad that I told you about the blasted reunion, but I don't. I knew you two were meant to be together" Since when is Emmett wise and since when can he read in things?
"I had seen her the night before, yes. At the reunion" I admitted.
"And took her somewhere afterwards and fucked her brains out?" he asked ginning.
"Emmett! You talk as if you were brought up by a pack of wolves!" my mom got in my office scolding her eldest. "Edward, how are you, honey?" she asked coming to kiss me.
"Sure, go to him!" Emmett mumbled feigning hurt.
"Oh, hush Emmett. He is the celebrity, here" mom patted my cheek. Celebrity?
"What celebrity mom? I'm just another lawyer"
"Not when you are on the cover of OK! With your lovely wife" she aid taking a magazine out of her bag. Oh hell! I forgot about that interview we had last month.
I sat frozen watching the magazine, praying Bella won't see it, ever! They had asked some details I wasn't happy about and Tanya had answered them. And the pictures, were more than lovely-dovey.
"Edward, are you ok? You look pale" said Esme concerned.
"He's fine, mom. He's tough" said Emmett slapping me on the back.
"Yes, I'm ok. If you don't mind, I'm busy" I tried to act politely.
"Of course, dear. Emmett we need to talk. I have to instruct you how to act with Rose, now that she's pregnant. And Edward, I'll make sure to get a few of those pictures and put them on your desk, here" she smiled at me and dragged an amused Emmett out of the door.
I worked on my last case, distracted. The magazine mocking me from the corner of my desk. Around four, I gave up trying to work and I opened the issue. I was greeted with a picture of me and Tanya smiling at the camera, then her kissing the corner of my mouth while I had my arms around her and the last one, the most terrific one, Tanya in my arms, her legs around me and me kissing her desperately. I felt sick. The interview was even more sickening.
Q: Have you thought of retiring? Staying close to your husband?
T: Of course, in a few years. We need to start a family. He is such a dear, understanding and loyal. I remember how she had traced her finger over my arms when she said that.
Then he had asked about our carriers a few question and then, surprising both of us he asked:
Q: I can see how happy you are together. I get it you haven't passed the honeymoon stage?
T: We still love each other as in day one. Oh, he's such a beast sometimes. And when we're both home, we can't keep our hands off each other.
E: She's right. I can't ever love another. She's everything to me.
And then I had kissed her again. I had kissed her a lot during that interview. Maybe I had truly missed her. She had been gone to France for two weeks and had just come back. How I regret saying that I can't love another like that. How could I not think of Bella?
The interview continued with a few more indecent questions to which we answered, stupidly. Why had Tanya admitted that I had thrown her on the kitchen table when she came home, was beyond me. Those things should stay between us, not for the whole world to know. For Bella to know.
I took one more look at the happy pictures and threw the magazine away, took my keys and headed to the garage.
My phone rang, Bella's song. I had put the lyrics in my tattoo on repeat, to be sang over and over when she called me.
"Yes, beautiful?"
"I'm home. I'm changed. You can come and get me from here, if you still want" she told me in a strained voice. What had happened? Had she read the magazine?
"OK, I'm on my way"
"Yeah" she whispered distracted and hung up.
I had to know what was wrong. I sped to her home. I muttered a hello to Seth, he seemed like a nice guy, and I took the steps two at a time. I knocked once and the door opened to reveal an upset Bella. She had jeans and a nice blue shirt on her.
I entered the flat closing the door after me.
"What's wrong? You're shaking! What happened?" I asked scared, taking her in my arms.
"J-j..Jake…he…Edward!" she burst in tears and clung to my shirt.
"What had he done? I'll kill him if he touched you" suddenly enraged. No one touched my angel!
"He…he tried to…Mike came and took him out with a bodyguard" she hiccupped.
"What had he done?" I repeated.
"Touched me" she declared to my collar, suddenly interested in how it wasn't staying straight.
"Where?" I seethed.
"My…there…down and breasts" she whispered trying to stop her tears. He had touched her pussy???
"Bella! You have to report this!" I said, suddenly professional.
"No! He needs my help. I'm the only one that accepted to help him. No one wanted to get into his marriage problems" she insisted.
"No wonder, no one accepted! I'll make sure he won't be your client anymore" I said rubbing her arms.
"Edw-dward…I have to help him!" she insisted stubbornly.
"No! Now, let's go clean your face and make you your usually beautiful self and get done with tonight" I said tugging her to the bathroom.
"So I'm not beautiful now? All blotchy and red?" she teased me. I am glad her sense of humor is back.
"Always beautiful. I just want you to look magnificent tonight" I said dropping a kiss on her forehead.
She washed her eyes and took the mascara off.
"Get me that mascara, it's behind you" she whispered, trying to get a black spot from under her left eye. I turned to get it and saw three different types.
"Which one?"
"There's only one, Edward! The red one" I took it, gave it to her and returned my attention to the other two. One was slimmer, looking like a pencil and the other a bit smaller and had something rose in it.
"You look like you're trying to find the answer to a complicated math problem" Bella giggled looking at me. "The black one is eye-liner and the other one is lip-gloss" she answered my silent questions. I nodded.
She took from the sink what looked like a lipstick and touched it once to her bottom lip. Yes, at least I figured that one out.
"Let me" I whispered taking it form her. She gave me an amused look but gave me the lipstick. I kissed her lips quickly and touched the lipstick to her bottom lip, then her upper lip. Bella closed her eyes and moaned lightly. She was turned on because I was applying shit on her lips. Her moan went straight to my cock, hardening it to the point of agony. If just one little moan did that to me…
I finished and kissed her forehead, she opened her eyes. Her deep brown ones open and landed on mines and she gave a shit eating grin. She turned to the mirror to see if I did it correctly.
"You're a natural. I could hire you, I always manage to put some on my teeth" she said laughing.
"What can I say? Practice make perfect" I said before I realized what I said.
"You've done this before?" she asked looking at me through the mirror.
"Nope. Don't ask why I said that"
"Let's go" I said, taking her hand and leading her out of the bathroom.
She got her coat and locked the door. The car ride was silent. Bella shuffled through my iPod finding a song she liked and then just sat there, quietly watching out the window.
"We're here" I said, moving her hair off her shoulder and burring my face in her neck. She pushed me away.
"She could see us!" Bella whispered scared.
"I have tinted windows, Bella. But, ok" I kissed her neck once, got out and helped her out of the car.
"Such a gentleman" Bella whispered rolling her eyes.
"Always, love"
"Be careful with that" she admonished me.
"With what?" I asked frowning my brow.
"Calling me 'love'" she said.
"Did I…I haven't even realized. It's so easy to be with you" I said bewildered.
"Just be careful, ok?" she said watching me understandingly.
"I will. Now, let's go inside"
I opened the door and Tanya came out of nowhere and jumped in my arms. "Baby, you made it" she kissed me lingering on the lips. Still in my arms, she turned her head to Bella.
"It's so good to see you could make it. Get us something to drink, baby" she told me kissing me again. I peeked at Bella and saw she was looking intently at the living room door. When I turned to the kitchen to get the drinks I saw how Tanya was dressed, she had a very short denim sundress. I'm sure if she sat down it will reveal too much.
I put some liquor for them and I got a whiskey. When I entered the living room, Tanya was perched on the loveseat and Bella was in my armchair, by the fireplace. They were talking, captivated by whatever they were talking. I could see Bella wasn't happy to be here, but she had accepted anyway. I got them the glasses. Bella's fingers lingered on mine and she smiled at me, I returned the smile happily. I gave Tanya her glass and turned to sit on the couch, she caught my wrist.
"Where are you going, tiger?" I wished she'll stop calling me tiger.
"To sit" I answered smoothly looking at her hand on my wrist hopping she will let me go. She tugged on it, "Here, sit with me". She moved an inch and I obliged not wanting to make a scene. I regretted accepting this as soon as I saw Bella's face.
Tanya put an arm around my waist, "I was just telling Bella how awful it will be without you this weekend"
"I won't be here, either. So it's alright" I said. She looked questioning at me. "Philadelphia" I said.
"Oh, my poor baby will have to endure Emmett's snores" she cooed in my ear.
"Not really. I'm going alone" I told her, glancing at Bella. She was busing herself with her drink. I had to include her in the conversation before Tanya did something outrageous.
"So, have you talked with Alice?" I asked mildly interested.
"Yes, she said she'll come as soon as she's ready to talk. Can you tell me at least what happened?" Bella asked.
"I always said he was bad" Tanya exclaimed, startling me.
"Well, I'm sure Al is sorry she didn't listen to you. Alice worked at a children health care institute and her boss…" I stopped not know how to say it. I hoped Bella will get it, but I knew she would jump on other conclusions.
"He tried to rape her?" Bella asked scared.
Tanya started laughing and even I cracked a smile. The predictable answer.
"No…it's much deeper" Bella's eyes widened, surely jumping on another wrong conclusion.
"Remember how Jasper was always mad saying she's cheating" Tanya giggled. I nodded my head.
"No, Bella. You can't guess. No one thought of this. She confessed it later, in court. He kept calling her a freak and a psychic" I said.
"Eddie, don't! It's Alice's story to tell" Tanya exclaimed.
"Now you made me curious," said Bella, narrowing her eyes at Tanya when she called me Eddie.
"She sees…or predicts-" How could I say it without sounding a psychic myself?
"Alice sees the future. And she's always right about it" finished Tanya for me. Bella was looking amused between us, expecting us to say it's a joke. When she realized we are telling the truth she cocked and eyebrow at me.
"If I wouldn't know you, I'd take you right now to the madhouse, Edward," she whispered.
"Alice will explain everything, just be patient with her. She has to trust you first, then she will explain all of it" I explained.
"So, tell us about yourself. Edward didn't tell me anything" Tanya looked accusatively at me.
"I just bumped into her last week! All I know it's that she's shrink," I said defensively. It was true, that's all I knew. Oh, and her amazing writing skills. And Prince, fuck…Prince. I had a newfound respect for the man.
"Well I finished college here in New York and…been here ever since. Nothing spectacular" Bella whispered, her eyes filling with sadness. She waved her hands around as she talked.
"Oh, it's gorgeous!" Tanya exclaimed and launched at Bella's side, taking her hand and looking at something I couldn't see. "Who's the lucky guy?" my wife asked. What are they talking about?
"Isn't it fabulous, Edward? Look at it" she showed me Bella's left hand. There was a big ring, I somehow missed before. Bella snatched her hand form Tanya and stood up.
"I have to go. I start early" and she rushed outside. We stayed shocked and looked at each other.
"Go after her, make sure she gets home safe" Tanya urged me. I didn't wait to be told twice and rushed after Bella.
I got her in my car and didn't say anything until we were in her flat.
"Bella! Why didn't you tell me?" I whispered, eyeing the ring.
"Good night, Edward" she said, opening the door of her flat.
"Are you pushing me out? Bella! We need to talk about this shit. It's one thing I do it and one thing for both of us to do it!" I said irritated.
"You are the only one cheating if that's what you want to know. Now go. I'll explain another time. I promise" she said softly. I left thinking what she could be hiding.
I got home still wondering who was Bella engaged with and why hadn't she told me about this. All those thoughts vanished when I saw Tanya. She was on our bed, naked.
"Strip and come and join me" she purred. I thought of something that could get me out of this situation, but didn't find anything. So I listened.
"I missed you" she whispered in my ear and started kissing me. I'm still her husband, I should at least be a good one. This one last time. It had to be the last time.
I didn't answer her just kissed her.
"Make love with me, Edward" her voice was so soft, I had never heard her speaking like this. "I feel like I'll lose you. Show me you still love me" she whispered turning on her back, bringing me on top of her. And I did, at least, make the last time memorable. Now, I realized how skinny she was, I was afraid I'll break her. Bella had some flesh on her, when Tanya was skin and bones, damn job! She was wrapped in me, clinging to me and I laid spent on top of her.
"My beautiful man" she purred, rubbing my back and kissing my shoulder.
I kissed her neck and laid my head on her shoulder, moving slightly off her. She wrapped her arms tightly around me, squeezing me. I don't know for how long we stayed there lost in our own thoughts, but my phone startled us.
"It's midnight! Who can be at this hour?" asked Tanya annoyed. I shrugged and answered it.
"Edward! Metropolitan Hospital Center, now! Get your ass here!" I haven't heard Emmett so panicked in my life. I was out of the bed and scrambling for my boxers.
"What happened? Is Rose fine?"
"Rose? No…she went to Bella and…come quick! Ask for Swan!" he hung up and I suddenly felt like my world crushed down. Bella, my angel was hurt.
"Is Rose ok?" asked Tanya. I had forgotten about her. I put a t-shirt on me and shook my head. "Don't wait up". I was on auto-pilot. How I got to the hospital or how I got to her room, I don't remember. I just remember Rosalie came to me, crying.
"How bad is she hurt?" I asked dreading the answer.
"She's fine, physically. She had a God-damn breakdown! Don't ask her about this, please. Distract her, talk with her about anything but college" Rose said urgently and pushed me inside. We got inside.
"Look who's here" said Emmett trying to make her smile.
"Paul?" Bella whispered. Rose groaned and leaned into me "They drugged her bad and now she says what she wants to be true. So…go with it"
"No, Bella. It's Edward" explained Rose.
Her face lit up and trust her arms in the air, I sat next to her on the bed and took her in my arms.
"Man, get her home. You know where she lives, right?" I nodded to Emmett.
"Ok, I signed everything, just get her out of here" Rose whispered.
I took Bella in my arms and got her to her flat. I didn't sleep that night, I stayed up and watched as she slept. Who was Paul? My eyes landed on her ring. Her fiancé, then why wasn't he there with her? I couldn't stay in a place and I took her laptop and read her story. It had a sad note to it. She had written more, the soldier had been shot. I realized she was using sex as a remedy to those wounds. Why will she make the poor shot guy have his way with that girl in the hospital bed? There were other files in that folder. Soon, reading, I realized they were other books. About the same man and the heroine had the same qualities as Claudia from the other book. They were the same ones! But in different times, with other jobs. I was so focused on my reading that I didn't hear her wake up.
"Edward?" she croaked out.
"Yes, sweetheart. I'm here" I said taking her in my arms.
"How come you're here? Where's Rose…" she looked confused.
"I got you from the hospital…she said you had a breakdown" Bella's eyes widened as she remembered.
"What did I say?" she asked scared, cradling the hand with the ring, self-consciously to her chest.
"I don't know. All I heard when I got there was…" I trailed off, unsure if I should tell her.
"Tell me"
"Paul" I whispered. She stopped breathing, held her torso tightly as if it will fall if she didn't hold it up and to my horror big tears started falling form her eyes.
Her door bell rang. Bella was staying there with her eyes far away, holding her torso. I got up and answered the door.
"Rose!"
"Edward?!"
We looked at each other for a few seconds. I'm sure she wanted me to bring her and leave last night, not stay.
"You look like hell" she whispered coming inside.
"Thanks. I didn't sleep. She's…I think I shouldn't have said it" I told her.
"What did you say?"
"Paul…I don't-" She slapped me hard.
"Can you complicate things worse than they are?? You and your stupid mouth, Cullen!" she ran in Bella's bedroom. I stayed there stunned.
"WHAT DO YOU WNAT TO KNOW??? That's a thousand times worse in reality than it is in the movies???" I heard Bella's voice scream. I made my way to her bedroom, looking inside. Bella was in the same position, but her face was enraged, tears still falling from her eyes. Her eyes settled on me.
"Take it out! You are a fucking shrink and keep shit inside you!" Rose yelled.
"Rose, let her be. When she'll be ready, she'll explain" I reasoned and Bella looked gratefully at me.
"Don't even think! Keep your mouth shut if you don't want another bruise. At least it got some color in the cheeks" Rose said grinning.
"You slapped him? What had he done wrong?" asked Bella looking between Rose and me.
"Don't change the subject! Tell me what happened! Just take it out. It's bad, I got that much. You should have known for yourself it could end badly!"
"Badly doesn't even begin to describe it" whispered Bella.
Rose and me took a seat on either sides of Bella and she sighed and started talking, leaning slightly into me.
"Remember the night he…" she started showing Rose the ring.
"Like I could forget. Two people couldn't make that much noise, but apparently they could. I could have sworn he had brought over a couple of his friends" Rose said exasperated.
"Our dorm had two separate rooms, thank God" Rose explained to me.
"So, after you left…in April…I-" she cut herself and turned to me "I slept with him once" Bella whispered.
"Just once, really? What the hell were you doing there all the time? Banging like that?" asked Rose interested.
"None of your business" answered Bella, smiling lightly. "As I was saying, April. I was alone, you gone. They didn't bring anyone to replace you. I came down with a nasty cold…or so I thought at the time" Bella whispered sighing. "At the end of May…I did the impossible, took a pregnancy test. It was damn positive, a week later, P-pa-paul came to visit" by this point Bella was crying freely and Rose took her in her arms. "I told him and he was happy. Beyond happy. He was to finish the mission on July 20th and then we had to start looking for a house and…you know. He wrote me at the beginning of June telling me he can barely wait to see me. He had said he had a feeling it will be a boy. He wanted to name him Billy. His middle name was Bill" Bella took a deep breath and continued, "On June 12th, a…man in army uniform came to me…I was opening the door of our room. He sat me on the couch and took my hand. I can still feel it. He had a strange look in his eyes.
"Miss Swan?" he had asked and I answered smiling "Future Miss Collins"
He rubbed my hand and said "I am very sorry to inform you that Major Paul Bill Collins died on mission. You should be proud of your fiancé, he died a hero. We are expecting you at the funerals. In three days". Then he left me there on the couch. One hand on my stomach, one lying limply next to me. It came in my mind that song, Billy, don't be a hero and I started laughing. I laughed till I burst into tears. I went to the funerals, they gave me that folded up flag. I threw it over his casket. I had his pocket knife in my hand, one of his friends had given it to me, it was burning my skin. I was eerily calm, but I lost it when I heard the guns ringing the last shot. They went in my heart, through my heart! I went back to our dorm and fell asleep with that shirt he had left the first time and his knife. When I woke up I thought 'It's just a bad dream', but the cruel reality…told me other wise. I stayed locked there in my room, Angela was visiting from time to time, form what I remember.
Until one day when I woke up form my daze. We were at the end of July and my stomach was slightly big. What woke me was that I woke up in a pool of blood, I started screaming. I screamed until someone burst into the room and called an ambulance. The doctor said I should be glad I'm still alive. I was over five moths pregnant. I killed his child! Then I came back to my senses and said I had to live my life. So here I am, still alive" she finished her speech. Rose was crying, too and I'm sure I was crying, as well.
"Will you be ok with her for a minute? I have to go get some food. She needs to eat" said Rose. I nodded.
I heard the front door closing and I kept running my hands over Bella's hair softly.
"I'm sorry, I didn't tell you about him. I couldn't. I didn't even think at that moment, when you asked"
"I don't know what to say. You suffered so much" I whispered, kissing a path from her ear to her chin.
"I'm over it! I promise, but…yesterday, when Tanya asked about the ring…" she sighed and looked lovingly at the ring.
"You scared the shit out of both of us when you rushed outside" I murmured in her hair.
"I'm very sorry" her hand came up and traced the dark circles under my eyes " You haven't slept" she accused me.
"Couldn't. I snooped around. I read the other stories. Now I understand them" I confessed. She tried to smile.
"Where's Rose?"
"Getting food"
"Stay, please" Bella whispered gripping my hand.
"I will" I said.
"Here is the food. Bella, honey, are you ok with staying with Edward? I have to go home" Bella nodded and thanked her for the food. Rose left, leaving us alone.
"Not hungry" she mumbled. I put the food aside and lay down with her in my arms. Bella snuggled into me and tensed up. I felt her sniffling me.
"Do I smell bad? I didn't have time for a shower, I'm sorry"
Bella shook her head. "Then what is it, love?" I asked concerned.
"You smell like her. All over" she whispered.
"Oh…I…err…I'll take a shower" I finally said, feeling myself blush. Only Bella will make me blush.
"You don't have to explain to me what you are doing in your house. I find it normal to have a healthy sexual life with you suppose" she brushed my explanation off.
"Bella, I wouldn't have…" her finger came on my lips silencing me.
"Don't explain this to me. I can see it, you still love her"
"Maybe, but I'm in love with you" I said. Why does life has to be so complicated??
Review, review! Tell me how much you hate me for making Edward sleep with Tanya.