Manifesting Loneliness

Along with the gift of being an Empathic, Jasper has another "gift"! This comes in the form of a "Pixie"" which has followed him around for the last 20 years, unseen by anyone other than him. It began as a tiny blue spark that hung near him and through time morphed into a giggling infant. As time passed the "Pixie" grew up and eventually transformed into the most beautiful pale blue pixyish female he had ever seen, so much so that he couldn't help but fall in love with her.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

I'm Normally Not a Praying Man, but If You're up There, Please save Me Superman.
Homer Simpson

"'Why are you laughing?'

His voice held just a hint of unease. Good.

'I was hoping that the vampires would come for me soon and save me. You've got to admit that's funny.'"

- Wererat & Anita Blake

4. Sixteen Candles

AN: I will be splitting the point of views in this chapter. I felt the need to give Alice a little air time. LOL

JPOV

"Jazz, this is the best birthday ever!" Pixie squealed from her perch on top of our dining room table. She is into 80's movies now and her favorite is Sixteen Candles. So for her sixteenth birthday I recreated the scene from the movie. I had help from the girls in our family and mom. Since the Denali incident a year ago the family has come to treat her like one of our own. It's funny sometimes but after dark as I walk into a room we are both greeted by the family like she is standing here with me. She loves this and loves the family. Lately she calls the others her sisters and brothers and Esme and Carlisle are mom and dad to her.

Neither of us can eat the cake sitting between us but it's the gesture she appreciates. "Watch this, I've learned something new," she grinned impishly at me. Then still looking into my eyes she leans over and blows on the candles. They flicker and are snuffed out just like she blew them out from her breath! Pixie is improving and getting flirtatious.

"Tell me where to send your gift?" I ask. This is another one of my ploys to find her.

She doesn't like to talk about her real self. I know she is southern; her voice has that distinctive southern drawl. I think it's a coastal south dialect by some of the colloquialisms she uses at times. For example the word bayou, once I was reading a book and the location in the book was Bayou Casotte, in Jackson County Mississippi. I had said something about the name of the bayou, pronouncing it the way I saw it in the book and she said, "Yankees, it's pronounced as Baaa Ca-saaat" and another time I had talked to her about the airport in New Orleans because of my lawyer Jinks is located in that area. I had said something about going on my annual trip to New Orleans and was quickly corrected "no, you say it this way, Naaa, Naaa," she said stressing the NA sound, exasperated at my pronunciation. "Not the whole word new. It's Na'Orlens. You don't stress the A in last word either. It's more like Na Or-Lens. You're a Texan, you should know better." By the time she had finished the rant her hands were on her hips and she looked at me like she was lecturing a small child. It was adorable. My pixie…. I'm going to find her one day.

She was more forthcoming as a child but she is tight lipped now. I don't know why, when I ask all she will tell me is that me knowing the details of her life will change outcomes. She is a master with her visions now, and includes the whole family in her guardian duties. Even going as far as increasing our coffers, not that we needed much help there, we have had quite a long time to accumulate our wealth.

The ladies of the house love her fashion tips. She will tell them through me of course, the latest fashion to hit the runways and the styles and colors that will work best on them. She also goes as far as where they can find it. Bella loves this because she hates to shop and when Pix tells her to go to or call and order from such and such boutique a certain dress that would be perfect for her she will do so immediately. She will do anything to not go shopping. I think Bells would let her do all the shopping for her if she was here.

Pix has been helping Rose locate parts for a vintage '55 Victress. Rose is in love with the body on this car and tinkers with her obsession constantly. I think personally Rosalie just likes to hunt for stuff that is difficult to find. Hey she has unlimited time so this is her method of filling the long hours.

With Esme it is different. Pix just follows her around the house with a smile on her face. She will watch her fluff pillows and do little things for Carlisle with a wistful look in her eye. She thinks they are a cute and romantic couple. Her words, yuck, they are my parents. I hear what these couples do together at night so I don't really want to hear or talk about that romantic stuff.

APOV

I have learned so much living this dual life. It's stressing at times dealing with two families. In what I like to call the real world I am from the outskirts of Biloxi Mississippi. I am the middle daughter of Irving and Dora Brandon. I have every quirk of a middle child at least that is what my shrink tells my parents. If I told them what was happening to me I would be locked up in some mental hospital. It's happened in the past, in fact in my grandmother's time her sister was locked up. The family told everyone she had died from scarlet fever but granny told me the truth.

She says I have a lot more than looks in common with my namesake, Great Aunt Mary Alice. She was locked up in the 50's and eventually received a prefrontal lobotomy, which was common in that time period. She never left the asylum after my Great Grandfather dropped her off there like garbage to be disposed of. She died some time in the early sixties, shitting in a diaper and drooling. It makes me hate the ignorance of that time. Hell, I hate the ignorance of this time.

See, she could see the future also. I have known "things" that were going to happen since I was a small child. But I also learned early to keep my mouth shut. One mighty backhand from momma fixed my eagerness to speak out. Now I just tell my granny the important stuff that will happen. She makes some distraction if she can to prevent the future from going that route and all is well in the family and momma is none the wiser. My mother abhors all mention of my visions and it is something that is not discussed ever. It is embarrassing to her and the family.

My sisters Elizabeth and Caroline know about my visions and are fine with them. We don't speak of it in the house. Momma could hear and all hell would break loose. Their favourite thing to say is "Never bet against Alice", which is a fact. I am 90% correct. The 10% is because of people changing their minds at the last second and crazy spur of the moment decisions. Those can be a problem.

The visions come in handy. I saved my sister from being raped once. I called her on her cell before she took a "ride" from her best friend's brother home after a party. He had no intention of taking her home. Asshole, he later tried the same tactic on a local sheriffs daughter and is now in the Mississippi State Pen. I hope he is making lots of friends and his ass resembles the Chunnel.

The visions can also break your heart. There have been a few that I could do nothing about. Like little Cecily Crawly, I knew what she had was Leukaemia a month before her diagnosis. I also knew she wouldn't make it to her second round of chemo. I cried every time I saw her and would have to leave the room. I told granny and she told me that life is heart breaking but you can't fix everything. Life goes on, babies will be born, and spring will come. That's just granny, she is springtime to me.

My visions are a bittersweet blessing. I had a new vision this week and its upset me more than I ever thought one would. You know that little saying "live like you were dying"; it has new meaning for me for I now know I will never make it to twenty one. I die some time in the year after my twentieth birthday. I don't know why I can't see the reason I die in any vision I get. But what I did see was my parents at my wake. Let me say it was a horrible wake and my mother should be shot for putting me in a dress like that.

It's quite depressing for me that I will never make it to twenty one. I had the most spectacular party planned with fairy lights in the garden and a multi tiered cake. I was going to have all my friends and a band. Oh the party dress I envisioned. Well, you can't fight fate. You can't fight her, but I'm going to prank that bitch!

So to my momma's worst fear I have decided to become the wild child of the family. Really, I intend to do it all before I go. I gave my self a gift this year of a fake ID and I am making a list of things to do. In fact this week end I am going to try out the casinos. I can make enough to buy me some fun and save for a rainy day, if I am careful. I don't want to lose my ticket to ride.

I am sixteen today and I can't wait till its time to go to bed. Bed? Yes, bed, see when I sleep I go far away from here. I go to my other life and my other family. Best of all I go to the true love of my life, my Jasper. I know it sounds silly but it's not a dream. He's not a dream but he sure is dreamy. Jasper Whitlock is a walking wet dream, blond wavy hair, tall, sexy, eyes of gold and or black, and a vampire. NO I am not crazy. I have been with Jasper all my life and he and the family could only hide their nature from me for so long. Visions, duh!

Jasper has always been there for me. This power kind of grows with me, at first as a small child I couldn't talk to him. I didn't know how. It was kind of like stretching a muscle in my brain I tried and tried and then one day I could. I think my chatter nearly drove him crazy at times. He was a sport about it. He became my best friend; he paid attention to me, and gave me a great gift, his time. What grown man would do tea parties day after endless day with a small child?

I kept exercising my brain and after some time went by I learned how to move things while I was with him and make him feel me. As I got older he would walk with me and hold my hand. We spent many a night sitting on the rocks watching the river roll by just talking. I learned more from Jasper than any teacher in school. He loves history and shared that with me. What I am trying to do now is make others see me while I am there. I want to hang out with my sisters and other mom and not need an interpreter.

There is a down side though. I pay for all my brain stretching on this end with massive migraines. I have spent many a day shut up in my room with the curtains drawn. Light sears my brain and movement makes me nauseous. Every hour I have to spend in a dark room heaving is worth it to be with Jazz.

I have to admit I also want to do some things with Jazz, just us, grown up things. Did I say that I am in love with him, I LOVE JASPER WHITLOCK! I would shout it to the world if I could. He knows, I have never told him, but he knows. I think he feels the same for me. Maybe I was given my second life with Jazz as a consolation prize since I don't have so long. So I will cherish every moment, live, love, and laugh every second I have left with him.

I don't want to die. I have so much to do. What will Jasper do when I don't show up one night? How do I tell him what I have seen? Plans, I need to get to work. Don't bet against Alice, I am going to find away around this. Please God, help.