Hi! I'm in a good mood today because Kieron Richardson [Ste] actually said my name on the radio and I might have squealed and smiled a little!

Here's the next chapter of this story. Oh, and a few of you said you liked quite a bit of dialogue in the story so I've made this chapter have more than I usually would. Talking about feelings that's what we want in the show!

I am actually going to cry at the e4 episode tomorrow, Floods :(

Brendan's POV

I strolled down the stairs, staring quickly looking down at clothes. Why the fuck had I even worn this shirt? The bright red one, Steven's gonna read in to it too much isn't he? He's gonna think I wore it to seduce him with, like I had all those months ago, years even. Where the hell had that time gone? October 2010. That's when it was, I had this red shirt on and we had succumbed to eachother in the cellar, finally kissed the way I wanted to when Steven had made his first advance. I thought about going back, changing my clothes but it was too late, I was outside the Steven's deli and he was staring at me and smiling.

'You came.'

'Ye suppose I did Steven.' I replied, looking anywhere but at his face.

Steven walked up to me, his eyes piercing into mine.

'I didn't think you would.'

'Why wouldn't I?'

'Dunno, I mean I've just checked and I've ran outta jam.'

He smiled at me again. He'd planned it hadn't he? Cheeky fucker.

'Steven?'

'Mhm?'

'Why did you make me come here? I've told ye why I needed to go, why I needed to get anyway from Hollyoaks for good and you're making this harder than I want it to be.'

I didn't mean to say that last bit out loud. I didn't want Steven to know I still loved him, needed him even. In my life. I lived for him, did everything to keep him safe, obviously not enough but I tried my best.

'You haven't told me everything Brendan...'

'Yeah I did.'

'No. All you said was because of me. That's nothing. That's telling me fuck all. What kind of answer is that?'

'The answer.'

'Brendan don't get smart with me. I know Doug tried to set you up...'

I looked up at him then. Had Doug told him everything? Had they split up?! 'What?!'

'He tried to set you up didn't he?'

'Yeah...'

'I knew it! He hasn't told me why though Brendan. Why would he do that?'

'Just wants me out of your life I spose. Doesn't matter though, I'm going ain't I?'

'You don't need to you know. You can stay here. I'm not happy with Doug Brendan. I don't love Doug...'

He doesn't love Doug? WHAT THE FUCK? What does that mean? Does he love me still?

'Ye don't love Doug?'

'No...I'm not in love with Doug am I?'

Steven strolled over to me, his eyes never leaving mine and I couldn't help but straight back at his. He was gonna do this wasn't he?

'Steven?'

'I love you Brendan Brady. I never stopped. Please don't go.'

'I have to go. I made a promise and I don't break promises...'

Ste's POV

A promise? I've just opened up to him and he's saying he's made a promise?!

'A promise? A promise to who?'

'God.'

Okay now I'm confused. He's made a promise to God and now he has to leave Hollyoaks. I'm no brainbox trust me, but...yeah I'm confused. Brendan must have sensed this.

'I asked God to let you live and if he did then I'd leave you alone.'

I've never been big on religion, and to be honest I never realised how much Brendan was until the last few months. He honestly belived that God would want him unhappy, just to make me live. 'Brendan.. God wouldn't want you unhappy. The nurses at the hospital..they got me better.'

'No..No I went there. I promised him, so I've got to go. And you..you've got to go back to Douglas and be happy with him.. you haven't told him you don't love him have ye?

I had tears in my eyes now. 'No..'

'Okay good. A marriage is a marriage Steven, ye need to make it work.'

I decided I needed to pour my heart out and make him listen. 'Brendan I don't want to. It was a mistake...'

Brendan tried to butt in then. '..No. Brendan listen to me for once in your life please. It was a mistake marrying Doug. I didn't want to. I just went along with it. You know that bit when they're like..oh anybody know why these people can't marry eachother? I wanted you to walk through and tell me you loved me and that I couldn't go through with it. And you know what? I wouldn't have. I would have left with you and I wouldn't have cared what people thought. I've never stopped loving you Brendan, nobody comes close to you okay. So if you want to go. Go. I won't stop you anymore. I realise you don't give a fuck about my feelings anymore or you wouldn't leave. God wants people to love eachother, be in relationships, support the one that they want. Be happy, but if you're gonna spare yourself that because a promise that you made to somebody that didn't even make me better; the hospital did; then fine. BE FUCKING MISERABLE. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!'

I may have shouted that last bit in his face and he did look a bit put out to be honest. I've basically just told him that God lied. I respect he believed in religion but it was true wasn't it? The nurses, the medications, the equipment that got me better. I just wanted Brendan to realise that. I wanted him to realise I still loved everything about him. He was the one for me and I wanted him to know Doug doesn't come anywhere close.

Brendan's POV

Okay that was shocking. Getting shouted straight in the face, inches apart. Everything he said made sense I suppose. I couldn't resist him anymore, even if this was the last time; I had to kiss him, even if it was goodbye. Do I want it to be goodbye? It'd have repercussions, of course it would. But I want him. I placed my hand on his cheek, and it seemed like he melted to the touch. Steven was leaning against the wall and I kissed him slowly at first, just a peck, then another and then our mouths collided. It was exactly the same as our first full blown kiss in the cellar, complete with my shirt. Steven tugged at it, obviously wanting to take it off. 'No Steven.'

'I thought...'

'I can't do this when you're still with Doug in his head. I want ye, I do, but not like this. I want ye properly..all to meself.'

'..But we can be together properly after that right?'

I nodded.

Steven leant into me again, kissing me and then touching our foreheads together.

'I love ye Steven.'

'I love you too Brendan. I'll be back, I promise'

Ste's POV

Well that's that sorted. I'm off to the flat to tell Doug I'm leaving him. I don't expect this to be easy, far from it. But it's something I have to do. I still cared for him, I didn't want to fuck his life up, I did want him to be happy and find somebody that was as nice as he was. It's just that someone wasn't me.

I walked to the door, shut it, locked it and looked at Brendan who was out outside now. I've got the life I've always wanted.

'You usually say don't wait up don't you?' I asked Brendan.

'Mhm..'

'Well I'm saying do.'

Brendan walked up the stairs, giving me a clear view of his arse. Perfect.

Right, now for probably the most tough task I've ever had in my life. End my marraige.

Woah sorry for the mahussive long chapter! I know you are all expecting a sex scene in later chapters, please don't look forward to it to much cos I really cannot write them LOL

Review for now though please :) xx