Out of Tune
Disclaimer: Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles do not belong to me. No infringement intended and no profit will be made from their use.
Note: Italics indicate flashbacks.
"Jane, wait!" Maura called after Jane as she left the autopsy lab. Jane stopped in the doorway and looked back over her shoulder at Maura. "This is what I'm afraid of. That if things get difficult, you will run, and that it will turn into an excuse for you to leave me. I thought it would easier if we avoided emotions altogether. I was obviously wrong. I want to fix things but I can't if you won't stay and talk to me."
Jane hung her head. "We can't have this conversation here, at work, in the fucking morgue. Come over tonight? I'll get dinner and we'll talk?"
Maura nodded, "Okay."
After Jane had made her come so hard she couldn't stand anymore and had collapsed against the apartment door, Maura had elected to take a shower at Jane's. She was now sitting in Jane's living room, wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants she found in Jane's closet, and drinking one of Jane's beers. At another point in time, Maura may have viewed this situation as a low point in her life, but not anymore.
"What happened with Jack anyway?" Jane asked.
"He noticed I wasn't as interested in him as I should be after six dates."
"Have you considered that your dating strategy is flawed? Perhaps dating these random guys who hit on you wherever you happen to be is a bad idea. Like that Marfan dude. What was he even doing watching a police softball league game?"
"How else am I supposed to meet someone? You have to give people a chance."
Jane just shook her head. "Well as of right now, I am officially done going out on blind dates, especially dates you set up."
"Why? You never go out with anyone else."
"Unless your actual goal was for me to never meet someone, our definitions of date-able guys are very, very different."
Maura made an exasperated sound and said, "Of course that wasn't my goal. You're so picky."
"Ha! I'm picky? You find obscure medical problems with guys so you don't have to date them anymore. I think your problem is that you don't even know what you're looking for."
"And you do?" Maura asked incredulously.
"I think I'm finally figuring it out. Are you going to stay here tonight?"
"No, I should go home and check on Bass. Do you mind if I keep these clothes for tonight?"
"That's fine. I'm going to bed. Stay, go home, whatever you want." Jane gave Maura a kiss on the cheek and went into her bedroom. Twenty minutes later she heard her apartment door open and close as Maura left.
When Jane entered her apartment that night she found Maura already inside, sitting on her couch.
"Sorry. When you weren't here I figured it would be okay if I waited inside."
"Yeah, of course that's fine. I got food from that Thai place you like."
"Thanks. You are in a better mood than earlier today."
Jane brought in plates and utensils from the kitchen and they spent a few minutes in silence while they started eating. "That's because I've been thinking, a lot, and I think I've got this all figured out. But, there's something I want to know before we talk about anything else."
"Okay, what?"
"When you first suggested the friends with benefits situation, what was your real motivation for that?"
"I was attracted to you but afraid that if I told you that outright you would get scared away. I thought if I suggested casual sex, it would be a way to gauge your interest. After we started I didn't want to stop. But I was still terrified that anything that looked like an actual relationship would end badly. I was so stupid. I have no concept of what a person is supposed to do when they fall in love with their best friend."
Jane was listening intently, silently considering what Maura was saying, until she processed Maura's last sentence, "Wait, what? Fall in love?"
Maura buried her face in her hands, "Oh, shit! That was not the way I wanted to tell you that."
"For christ's sake, Maura, I've been angry with you because I thought you were refusing to see that we should be together. If you really do love me, why would you tell me you want to go back to being friends?"
"I'd rather stay friends than risk that a relationship wouldn't work out."
"Why won't you consider the possibility that it would work out? It just seems so unlike you to expect something to fail. If it wasn't for the stupid dates we've both been going out on the past couple of months, we'd already be in a great relationship."
Maura shook her head, "That's too simplistic. You cannot equate what we've been doing with dating."
"At least I now know you don't do everything rationally, or even thoughtfully. It's comforting in an odd way. I don't think I can call you a cyborg anymore. A cyborg would have been programmed to want to date someone it was in love with."
"You're using humor to avoid the conversation. You do that a lot."
Jane narrowed her eyes at Maura. Maura couldn't lie. She could sometimes avoid directly answering a question but she couldn't outright lie. Jane tried to be cognizant and respectful of that in general, never asking Maura a question she might be uncomfortable answering. But they were past that now. Tonight was the night for hard questions and honest answers. "Are you happy with how things are now?"
"No," Maura answered immediately.
By this point Jane was pacing back and forth across the living room. "I thought about us and our situation all afternoon. Here's what I figured out. I think you should consider that we are actually in a great position. We're way past the awkward, getting to know you, are you a serial killer, beginnings of relationships. We already know we are sexually compatible. You already know almost everything about me. Now we can just agree that we want to be with each other, settle in, and grow old together."
"Just because I may know everything about you does not mean that I understand you."
Jane had stopped pacing and was now just standing and grinning at Maura. "Do you really love me?"
"Yes, I love you. You know I can't lie."
"I love you too. What more do you need? Just give it a chance. Just give it one month of just you and me. No other dates. No going home after sex. Go to sleep with me. Wake up with me. At the end of the month if you don't think we're perfect together, we'll just forget about the past few months."
"You thought about us growing old together?" Maura asked.
"Absolutely."
"When you go on a date do you really think about whether the person could be a serial killer?"
"Definitely. I have a whole mental checklist of possible signs that someone is a serial killer."
Maura said the next question slowly, like she was testing it out, "One month trial period?"
"If you are not completely satisfied, you may return me for a full refund."
"What? Full refund?"
Jane laughed. "Nevermind. One month. Just give it a try."
"Okay. Yes. Let's try."
Jane knelt on the floor in front of Maura. "I love you," Jane said before leaning in to kiss Maura's lips. "Now I'm going to make you come so hard you forget your name. Then you're going to stay the night so I can do it again in the morning."