Chapter 4: In the Event of Social Tension
Life hack: the easiest and swiftest way to get out of an awkward situation is to screw up something so severely that everyone within a fifty foot radius runs like hell. You know, lest they have to suffer second-hand embarrassment.
Bear in mind that after the incident at the Harkinian household, I was dead-set on never ever ever ever ever ever having to see Zelda again in my life ever, so when Aveil told me that I-absolutely-had-to-go-to-school-on-Monday-no-exce ptions, I slammed a door in her face. Then I opened the door and apologized, because really, Aveil's one of the only people in the universe that I genuinely like, and you have to be delicate about these things.
"You got yourself into this mess," was all Aveil said when I confronted her about it. And to think that this woman was supposed to give maternal advice.
"Actually, Nabooru made me-"
"-Nope," Aveil cut in, trying to serve the younger girls- Sirbe, who was thirteen, and Abenu, who was eleven- some supper in our cheap little kitchen. "You started it when you impersonated her in that email."
"She made me-"
"-It was an immature thing to do," Aveil clarified. "You do realize that, right?"
I stared at Aveil for a few seconds. I liked her much better than I liked Nabooru. She was a year younger than Nabs, but acted ten years older. Her face was rounder, softer, her hair was a little lighter. Like me, she had our mom's eyes. Not our dad's, like Nabooru.
Maybe that was one of the reasons I never really liked Nabooru. I don't know.
"I understand," I said after a few seconds, hanging my head.
"And it's your responsibility to make it up to that girl," Aveil continued. "You're going to have to apologize. You at least owe her that."
"Are you sure I can't just fake my death?" I begged, and winced when she smacked me with the blunt side of a spatula. "Okay- yes, ma'am-"
I felt a tap on my arm. I glanced up. Abenu's palm rested on one of my crossed forearms.
"Don't worry, Ganon," she said softly. "I'm sure everything will be okay if you just say you're sorry." The ghost of a smile crossed my face.
Abenu had our mother's eyes, too.
…
Damn it.
I slammed my locker shut in aggravation. Still angry with myself, I reopened it and then slammed it shut a second time. Just for good measure.
Because I'd just single-handedly butchered the worst confrontation of all time.
Zelda, I'd said when I saw her across the hall. Hey, Zelda, just wanted to say I'm sorry for Saturday-
Ugh. My stupid voice kept running through my head. With a sigh, I rested my forehead against the front of my locker and let my lungs deflate. Stupid, stupid, stupid, I thought, bumping my forehead on the locker a few times in a row.
The confrontation ran through my mind again. I guess I couldn't forget it now.
"Zelda!" I said, running towards her as soon as she came into view. My plan was to talk to her as soon as I saw her so that my nerves wouldn't be able to talk some sense into me first. "Hey, Zelda, I just wanted to say I'm sorry for Saturday-"
"What do you mean?" she answered. My jaw fell open.
"You're kidding," I said immediately. "You are kidding, right?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about," she answered calmly, coming to a halt before her locker and stowing away a book inside of it.
"Don't pretend it didn't happen," was all I said. "Don't pretend you didn't see me, 'cause that would be a total lie-"
Now she turned to me and exhaled. "Of course I saw you. I remember everything. I want to know what it is you're apologizing for."
"Fine. I'm apologizing for breaking into your house and trying to force you to attend a bonfire," I answered, all the while repressing an eyeroll. Zelda's face hardened.
"That's false," she corrected stiffly. She unfroze and continued putting books back in her locker. The way she did it seemed too rushed, too angry. "You are not sorry for trying to kidnap me, which- may I point out- is completely illegal. Furthermore, you are not even slightly guilty that you tried to force me to attend a bonfire which I had no interest in whatsoever. In fact, you take pride in these endeavors, and you told me this by voicing your apologies with as much sarcasm as you could muster."
I just stared at her, slightly dumbstruck. Everything she had just said was true.
"You are sorry," she continued, refusing to make eye contact, "because you carelessly and shamelessly invaded upon my privacy, which resulted in you learning something about me that not even you wanted to know." Now she turned a keen eye on me. "Do you want me to repeat that?"
"I do not," I answered.
"And do you deny any of that?" she pressed.
"I do not."
"Good. In that case-" she looked like she had something else to say, but then she stopped. "I- I'll see you later," she finished, which sounded very odd and forced. Then she turned on her heel and pretty much fled the scene.
That part hadn't made sense to me until a few seconds later, when the headmaster had brushed past. I assumed that his appearance had spurred Zelda's departure. Kind of like mine usually did.
…
That same day, we received our first assignment from Old Professor Ezlo. He seemed pretty excited about it, because his green flat cap was even more crooked than usual.
"As you may know," he was explaining, "each year at our beloved Hyrule City Academy, we hold a competition composition- no, sorry, switch those-" he paused and scratched his whiskers- "erm- writing contest," he clarified, and an oooooh arose from the students. "It's quite the event- sponsored by all sorts of patrons of the arts. As usual, our most enthusiastic- and by far the academy's favorite- patron is a Mr. Jovani, who will be awarding a massive prize to the young author who nabs first place!"
Murmurings of excitement skittered across the students, and a girl named Ruto shot her hand- um, flipper- straight into the air, her scales glistening in the fluorescent lights. "Oh! Professor, does it shine?!" she asked, unable to help herself.
"Can you eat it?!" cut in a hopeful goron named Goro (big surprise), who was on his third desk this year. (He'd broken two already simply by sitting at them.)
"Does it involve money?!" screeched the dutifully-named Treasure-Wad Tingle, who was notorious for selling pirated items in the parking lot before and after school.
"It is none of those things," Ezlo answered, clambering up on top of his chair to regain our attention. "The gift, my anxious pupils, is the gift of knowledge!"
The entire class groaned in chorus, flopping back in their chairs.
"Oh, hush up, now!" cried Ezlo, obviously losing patience. "There is nothing quite so valuable as knowledge, as education," he explained. "Mr. Jovani will be offering a scholarship equivalent to one year's tuition here at Hyrule City Academy, and if that doesn't steam your noodles, why, then, I can't guess what does."
The entire class was grumbling about being forced to come here whether they were paying or not, but I couldn't suppress the glow of hope that had festered within me. One year… one year, an entire year, where I could stay at HCA. Not return to that city school I'd come from- which had been all right, but I still couldn't fight the nagging in the back of my head telling me Ganon, this place is doing you some good. I really couldn't.
"So what do we write about?" asked Link, who was as a matter of fact in my comp class, and was as a matter of fact the brightest student in the room, and was as a matter of fact a complete and total kiss-ass.
I hated that guy.
Okay, I sort of hated that guy.
Okay, I didn't hate him. But I figured if I didn't at least dislike him, then I'd start to feel bad for him, and hating people is so much easier than caring about them.
"Whatever. You. Want," the professor answered, enunciating each word with dramatic deliberation.
"Suppose I want to write about my uncle's pot garden," piped up this kid Mido (I swear he was, like, twelve), who- fun fact- was That One Dickwad Who Always Has Something To Say.
"Then you write about your uncle's cannabis plant," Ezlo answered. Mido cast him a strange look, and it occurred to me that he probably hadn't been referencing marijuana to begin with. But that was Ezlo for you. "Now, I'll need you to follow some very simple guidelines. First, follow all conventions of the standard Hylian language…"
The class dragged on after that, but when it came to a close, I decided to linger behind for a moment. The rest of the class trickled out of the room, and Ezlo hopped down from his pile of books with an oomph.
"Uh- Professor-" I began, and trailed off.
"Hmmm?" Ezlo answered, a twinkle forming in his eye.
"I just- I really want to do well on this assignment-" I began, not sure where I was trying to go with this. "You see- it's just, the prize- well-"
A slight smile had formed on the old man's face.
"Ah, of course," he said, his voice assuming a tone of understanding. "Yes, I can see why that would do you some good." I felt my face go unusually warm, and I ducked my head. "Don't feel bad," Ezlo added, and I glanced up.
"Don't?"
"Don't," he repeated. "There's nothing to be embarrassed about."
"I know," I lied. There's everything to be embarrassed about, I grumbled internally, thinking of dilapidated buildings and broken windows and hungry kids. Ezlo was the only person at HCA besides Nabooru who had any idea where I was coming from, and it made me wickedly, dreadfully uncomfortable.
"Suppose I told you," Ezlo mused, "that I think you actually have a chance at winning."
"I'm an awful writer," I argued. "You haven't seen me try to write. It's brutal."
"It's not always about writing," Ezlo said with a wry smile. "In fact, more often than not, it's about having something to say."
Our conversation was interrupted as the door burst open, and who should stride in but Malon.
"Is Link Harkinian in here?" she asked without bothering to question whether she was interrupting something.
"I'm afraid he just left, Miss Barrow."
So she did have a last name.
"Uuuuggggghhhhh," she groaned, not bothering to withhold any of her exasperation. She paused midway through to say, "Oh, hello there, Ganondorf," and then went back to saying "uuggghhh" for a few more seconds.
I cast a sidelong glance at Ezlo. He was chuckling.
"Ooooooo, what's this?" Malon now intoned, and she moseyed towards the stack of books that Ezlo always propped himself up on. About halfway down the pile was a massive, leather-bound book with gold writing. She pulled it out from the stack and blew dust off of the cover, reading the title aloud.
"Hyrule Historia. Huh." She caught Ezlo's eye. "What's it about?"
"Hm?" Ezlo answered, who had become buried in a pile of schoolwork.
"Oh, well. S'pose I'll have to find out for myself." She slipped it into her schoolbag wordlessly- an act which I'm 99% sure counts as petty larceny- and then turned on her heel with a smile.
"Come along, Ganondorf. You can sit with me at lunch. Take care, Professor Ezlo!"
"What- oh, yes, and the same to you, Miss Bar- is my book pile… shorter? No… must be seeing things…"
Malon scrambled out of the room after that, and I followed closely. She led me to the dining hall, where I sat down next to her. Somehow, I ended up across from Link and diagonal from Zelda. They kept glaring at me over the tops of their sandwiches, and I found myself mentally willing Malon to splash her asparagus soup on them, please and thank you. But she didn't. She just kept slurping away, and Link and Zelda chewed their ham-on-rye condescendingly, and it really was a huge mess.
I couldn't help but wonder why the Harkinians weren't getting pissed off at Malon for sneaking into their house last Saturday. I mean, Malon and I had done exactly the same thing, so why was I the one getting shit for it?
Then again, there was the fact that she was Malon, and I was Ganondorf. And Link and Zelda had history with Malon, history which only made sense to them- which gave them the ability to communicate through gestures and smiles and sentence fragments. History which gave Malon a visa into their private life. A visa I had yet to earn- a visa that at this point I might never earn. One I didn't even want.
...But, and there was always a 'but,' Nabooru. Nabooru and this mad scheme for power, this insane tirade concerning blackmail and school-level politics and what-have-you. Nabs and her insistence that I follow Zelda around to the point of being absurdly creepy, her insistence that I force myself into someone's life without permission when clearly neither party desired it. And the idea that I could even bring myself to worm my way into Zelda's life, only to break her spirit and degrade her- well, it seemed evil.
And I don't know why, but the word evil on its own shook me in a way I wasn't used to.
Malon continued to ramble the entire way through lunch, telling us all about a new vegan recipe she'd learned, and how she just wanted to get off the ranch because she hated owning livestock, and how she was reading a new book on philosophy, and how this new indie record had been released that she loved, and about the latest breakthroughs in science, and about a presidential election in a far-off country that didn't really concern us...
And the entire time, the only thing I could concentrate on was that Link had a black eye, and that no one even dared to mention that.
…
Do you ever think to yourself, "Hey, I've got a great idea," so you follow through with that idea, and it just leads you to the wrong place at the wrong time, at which point you say to yourself, "perhaps that idea was actually a shit idea?" Because it happens to me a lot.
Exhibit A: that afternoon.
So I was walking home. The school sometimes has this shuttle that runs kids down to the bus stop, but I wasn't too keen on taking the city bus- just one trip with the "magic beans" guy had been enough to do me in. Walking home seemed nicer. I was halfway through the sports complex, hands in my pockets, totally unassuming and doing my own thing, when what do you know: voices.
Now, any old voices aren't any concern of mine. Except they weren't any old voices. They belonged very distinctly to Zelda and Link, which reeled me right in. Imagine the person you kind of despise, but you're mostly just intrigued by. Now, imagine them saying these words exactly:
"I don't care, it's your choice, not mine-"
"Yes, and I'm choosing to keep it a secret!"
Imagine that.
Okay, I'm sure you know exactly what I did next. Those voices were ringing down from the bleachers, and it took no more than ten seconds for me to be standing right underneath them.
"But you said it yourself," Zelda was arguing, and her voice was shaking. "You said you wanted to tell people, that you were sick of covering it up- Father knows already…"
And then, there it was. Damn it. My conscience.
Don't do this, it told me. You've already invaded their privacy enough!
But a darker, louder voice interrupted halfway through. Do it, the voice rumbled.
"Yeah, but imagine what it would do to your campaign, Zelda! Do you know how much that would utterly suck-"
"This isn't about me!"
Whatever fraction of a conscience I had vanished in a virtual poof of smoke. Something that could ruin Zelda's campaign in a heartbeat and let me off the hook? This was too good to be true. I tuned in closer.
"That doesn't mean I can't think about you!" Link was arguing. You know, for two people arguing over something so apparently private, they had quite a way of letting the whole world know.
"No." Zelda's voice had gone surprisingly meek. "No, of course it doesn't. It's your choice, totally yours, but please, don't think for a minute that I care either way."
I was smiling stupidly- here it came, the secret of a lifetime, I could hear it already- what was it? A discipline issue? Had they been busted for something? Vandalism, maybe? Probably. It's always vandalism. Or drugs. Ask anyone.
"I know you don't care," Link said, and I waited-
-No, wait-
-And then, nothing. My jaw dropped. My stomach swooped. And I realized.
You hear stories all the time about kids who don't turn out the way their parents want them to, so instead of parents just accepting their kid's choices, the kid is forced to conform to the parents'. Which is bullshit, by the way. It should never be like that, but just hold on.
Pieces were coming together, now, and I couldn't ward them off. And I didn't need to hear another word. I backed far away from the bleachers and pivoted on my heel, wanting to hear no more. Somehow, I managed to bump straight into Malon.
"What are you-"
"What are you-"
We fell silent. Evidently, Malon had been on her way to join the Harkinians when she saw me. Not good. Not good. Very not good.
"Were you eavesdropping?" she whispered, blue eyes round as buttons.
I said nothing. Nodded slowly. And then she just puffed out her cheeks. "Well. Thank gods it was you and not- uh- somebody else-"
I didn't ask to whom she was referring. I only stumbled over my next sentence, trying and failing to find the words I needed to ask this question, and to ask it the right way.
And then, being the inarticulate idiot that I am, I phrased my question perfectly.
"Link- he's, uh- he's gay- isn't he?"
I couldn't help but wonder how I hadn't seen it before. His defensive reaction to the joke I made the first time I met him should have been a dead giveaway.
Malon's face relaxed a bit. Her lips softened into an expression of surprise, and then she just pressed them together and nodded.
"But you can't- you can't tell, not without permission- we all agreed-"
"I know," I said, cutting her off. She peered up at me and raked her hands through her thick hair uncomfortably.
"Thank you, Ganondorf."
I nodded stiffly and jammed my hands further into my pockets.
"Listen," I said, trying to find the words I was looking for, "listen, I'm really sorry- genuinely- I feel like shit, Malon, and-"
"Don't tell me that," she said, brushing it off. "I'm not mad at you."
"But I'm an asshole. Stop it. Stop protesting. Malon, I mean it, I am."
"Yes, okay, you are," she agreed. "A little bit. But listen to me, Ganondorf- I'm not the one you need to talk to. You need to find Zelda and tell her that." I blinked in surprise, and she rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. Don't give me that look. I know you're after her, and though I'm not sure why, I'm not about to stop you. Because you see-" and here she paused- "you see, Zelda hasn't had a lot going for her lately, and she's been quite lonely. So she's a little scared of you, I think. And it's going to frighten her when she realizes that you know these things about her family. So you need to be ready for that, but listen- you don't realize it now, but it's going to be worth it. Zelda is going to be so worth it."
And I wanted to believe Malon, I really did. But right now I needed to digest everything I'd heard- needed to make sense of who Link was and who his father was and how they both affected who Zelda was. What I really needed was some time for introspection, and there was no way to achieve any with Malon staring at me like that.
Better life hack: the easiest way to get out of an awkward situation is to hightail it out of there. I've found that it works better than scaring everyone else away, after all.
So I just thanked her. And excused myself. And walked and walked and walked until I'd found my way back home.
Hello again! Sorry for the slower update this time around. I'm trying to go for quick updates, but I had to re-write this entire chapter from scratch, and I might be taking the same route with the next few as well. These chapters are all very old, and they need some tweaking. No, not twerking. That would be abhorrent.
Next chapter: Ganon experiments with introspection and we get a closer look at his home life.
Now that you're done here, go read Ocarina of Time by Norkix. He finally updated, and I played a role in writing the most recent chapter. It's a party, and you're all invited. But only if you're hella rad. Bring a snack.
Special thanks to anyone who reviewed. As usual, you're my favorite readers, and I encourage you to continue telling me what you liked/disliked/loathed-with-a-searing-passion.
-Ctj