Scene 4
Story told from mostly Usagi's POV
"Well I was thinking about what we did last night honestly." I shyly look at her and I notice that Haruka is blushing.
I can't believe I said that.
I look down at my hands that were resting on the table and then I glance at the painting on the wall. I was too nervous to look into her beautiful turquoise colored eyes.
I take a deep breath and sigh. Haruka did not say anything –yet-. Why? Does she regret it ever happened? I mean it is sort of cheating. This is the first time I've been unfaithful to Mamo-chan and I really don't know how to react.
Haruka's unwillingness to converse about it is not really helping me at all.
I remove my eyes from the artwork and move my hands from the warm oak table and pull at the hem of my blouse. I decide to gather my courage and ask the one question on my mind.
I look at Haruka with a slight smirk. She is looking at the painting again.
"Uhmm Haruka.." The door sliding open interrupts me. Our waitress Tomoko walks in with a tray.
"Here are your drinks." She places my Coke in front of me and then places the green tea in front of Haruka.
"Your entrees will be ready shortly. Enjoy your beverages," the waitress bows and leaves quietly.
I take a tiny sip of the cold liquid. My eyes continue to stare directly into the dark soda. My grip tightens around the slippery glass as I ready myself to ask the question again. I can hear my guardian sip slowly at the hot tea then place the cup down.
I look up askance and ask, "Do you regret sleeping with me last night?" It was almost a whisper, but I know Haruka heard me. I look at her and just as fast as she drives, Haruka grabs my hands in hers. They are warm and damp, probably from the teacup. Her eyes are greener than blue and my hearts starts to race.
With a voice of soft plea she says, "koneko, I am sorry." Haruka squeezes my hands in hers and looks at me more intently. "I was not purposely ignoring you…I," she gives me a half smile. "I was just thinking." I am relieved.
Haruka is still holding my hands. Her thumbs are drawing circles on my skin. My heart is racing again. Haruka looks at me once more and furrows her pale eyebrows. "Usagi…"
I look away from her momentarily and glare at our now intertwine fingers. Haruka must be nervous. I can tell because she rarely calls me by my first name. Haruka always call me koneko, odango or princess.
"Usagi, I've never been with anyone other than Michiru."
It was hard to believe that Haruka was faithful. Not that I was hoping she was unfaithful to Michiru. It just surprises me a bit with all the bold flirting she does with woman.
My heart tightens for having such dishonest thoughts about her character. I feel tears well up in my eyes. She removes her hands from mines and tilts my chin upward. Haruka beams at me then says, "However, I don't regret making love to you koneko."
She grabs my right hand and kisses it. "Please do not think badly of me for not feeling remorse. I am your guardian and I love more than anything. " Haruka continue holding my right hand tightly in her own. Her turquoise eyes search my blue orbs for acceptance.
"I would repeat last night tenfold my princess," Haruka smiles and exhales. "I will do anything to make you happy and feel loved."
I squeeze her hand tauter as I fought back tears of happiness and shame. Is it even possible to feel ashamed and happiness at the same time? But I did. Being with Haruka last night was great. She made me feel loved and wanted. Something I haven't felt in a long time since Mamoru is studying abroad in America.
But I also feel shame for feeling so good and for making love to my own guardian who would do anything to make me feel appreciated and loved. This is one of the reasons why I hate my destiny of being the future queen.
I stare into her eyes and says softly, "Haruka, I don't know what to say," I stutter over my words. This is so embarrassing. I straighten up a bit and let go of her hands. "What we did confuses me," I reply softly. I really want to make sense of it all. "Why did you do it? Please tell me the truth."
Haruka cocks her head slightly to the side and shakes it. "Koneko, I did it because you were sad and lonely." She reaches over and caresses my blushing cheek. The brush of her fingers against my skin sends a tingle down my spine. Our gazes met and she flashes me with the most genuine smile.
"Last night while I was with you, I felt your sadness and loneliness flow through me like a shockwave. I know you felt my need to make you feel appreciated." Haruka said.
"I know you do not like to think of us as your loyal protector, but as your equals. But.." Haruka glides her right index finger softly across my lips. At that moment a sudden lustfully tingle travels to my loins and I try hard to ignore it.
"but it is my devoted duty as a senshi to serve you in all ways possible to keep you in high spirits." Haruka stops caressing my lips and places her hands over mines.
"You do not regret our intimacy?" The wind senshi asks curiously. I squeeze her hands reassuringly and shake my head. "Thank you for being there for me Ruka." She smiles at me then leans across the table a kisses my forehead.
Just at that moment our waitress comes in with our food and places it on the table.
End scene 405 November 2005