Alone

Since Reid had only changed his shirt and tie, he made it to the office in a little under 18 minutes. With the collar of his peacoat turned up, he marched into the conference room. The only other members waiting for him there were Hotch and JJ. The blonde was on the phone talking with the officers that responded to the 911 call made by Mrs. Wolf, though she did look up to give Reid a nod of acknowledgement. The doctor sat his bag down, the thud it made on the floor alerted Hotch of his arrival. Hitch gave Reid the complete run-down:

"Reid, Morgan and Rossi are on their way, I'm going to send them to the crime scene when they get here. We're currently trying to get information from the D.C. police and we're going to be bringing in the victim's wife some time around noon to get some details about his life and his recovery— hopefully that'll tell us more about our unsub. With him being a former higher up, this case just became high profile". Reid didn't respond. He just stood there with his arms crossed; his gaze ever so slightly directed at the floor. "Reid." Hotch said, trying to get his young colleague's attention.

"21 years." Reid mumbled under his breath.

"What?" Hotch asked, confused.

"You wanted details on John's life and recovery? He's been clean for 21 years". Reid clarified. Hotch quickly put together what was happening. JJ had stopped listening to her own conversation and focused on the two men in front of her, concern filling her eyes. Hotch noticed this, too, and excused Reid and himself into the sanctity of his office to discuss this in private. Hotch shut the door and questioned,

"You knew him?" Reid replied stoically,

"We met right before the Owen Savage case back in '08". Hotch, as well as the whole team, remembered that case very well. They largely remember Reid's unprofessional and borderline idiotic behavior. Hotch was reflecting on their initial briefing, when Reid had come in late,

"You're movie", the unit chief said, more to himself than to Reid. The younger agent started to shift a little bit— once again, uncomfortable to have to be talking about this, especially with his superior, but if it meant finding their perp a little faster then he was willing. "I'm sorry Reid. You've suffered too much loss lately, more than anyone should have to," Hotch said in an attempt to console his agent, who seemed more angry than upset, "he was a good friend?" Hotch asked, luring Reid into opening up a little. Reid just nodded, his face not showing a bit of emotion. He was just so tired; tired of losing people. Hotch tried to put a supportive hand on Reid's shoulder. Yes, in the past, Reid had expressed his dislike of physical contact, but Reid had been lenient in certain situations. Hotch had thought this would be one of those times, but his hand lingered for about two seconds before Reid backed away, looking straight down at his shoes. That two seconds had been long enough for Hotch to feel something a bit worrying;

"You're shaking." Reid had been so distracted by the days events he hadn't even noticed. He held out his hand to find it doing just as Hotch had said. He made brief eye contact with his boss and then quickly averted, placing his hands in his pockets. Hotch continued in a firm yet apprehensive tone, "Reid, you've got to talk to me, or someone, you're obviously not okay. Do I need to take you off this case? It's okay to ask for help, you don't have to bottle it up. We just want what's best for you" Reid ran a trembling hand through his hair, turning to face his friend to respond,

"I-I'm—" he leaned into the words he struggled to get out, "No, okay? I'm not alright. I just found out one of my friends is dead; the friend that I would talk to about this. Who I'd confide in, a-and I'm tired, okay? Of losing friends, and I want t—" he trailed off, both because a slight quiver was creeping into his voice, and also because he hadn't meant to reveal this much to his team leader. He took a second to gather himself. He lowered his voice "…I need to be on this case. You want to help me so much? This is what you can do. My mind needs the distraction, I need to be busy". Hotch was at a loss; one one hand he wasn't sure that Reid being on this particular case was a good idea, but also if keeping Reid's mind occupied prevented it from going to dark places then how could he not?

"Okay. I trust your judgement. You can stay on the case," Hotch paused,

"Thank you," Reid interjected quietly, the embarrassment of how he had spoken to his boss now hitting him. Just then there was a knock at the door. Garcia poked her head in and informed her teammates that everyone had arrived and was in the conference room awaiting instruction. Hotch and Reid made their way back there but not before Hotch had one final thing to say,

"Reid, you are an invaluable member of this team and an equally invaluable friend. I don't mean to antagonize you, I just want you to be alright." Reid always felt awkward receiving compliments or condolences, but he could see the sincerity of his supervisor's words in his eyes. He just nodded a silent "yeah" and continued on into the conference room.