A/N: This chapter is a little longer than the rest but it explains a lot about Rachels feelings at the moment and we get a little look into the relationship that she's built with Nathan too. Also, there's a certain old friend who makes an appearance and starts to shake things for Puck and Rachel up too. There's going to be a lot of mixed feelings because I haven't even decided whether or not this character is actually a bad person or not considering their situation at the time but eventually that whole thing will get sorted out.
Sooo I haven't really figured out how to have Puck find out about the pregnancy. Either Rachel could tell him or he could find the tests that are still hiding in their bathroom somehow. Or maybe someone could tell him by accident :o So I'd like to know how you guys would rather see it happening. Just leave it in your reviews and I'll continue to write based off of what you want to see!
And remember, I don't own glee /:
"D-do you want me to stay with you or something?" Quinn asked while glancing over to a very upset looking Rachel.
They've been sitting in the car in front of Rachels apartment building for the past fifteen minutes without really saying anything to each other. Quinn would have spoken up earlier if she weren't so terrified for her best friend. She knew how much Rachel didn't want something like this right now, she didn't need to tell her for Quinn to know that. But was this really such a bad thing? Quinn had watched Puck and Rachel raise Amelia and they both made amazing parents. They were out of school, they were living on their own and both made good enough money. What was so wrong with having another child? Bringing another person into this planet that would surely be loved and have everything they ever wanted? She wasn't going to say anything aloud because she didn't know what was going through Rachels head but the idea of being pregnant to Quinn seemed amazing.
Rachel on the other hand wasn't too fond of the idea of having another child. Not that she was pregnant because she was still convinced that this was just her overreacting. She was just making sure because you never really knew but she was positive that she wasn't. She couldn't be because having another child meant having to put her life on pause and having to step down from her role as Wendla sometime within the next four months. Having to deal with the hormones and the weight gain and the stress and the pressure and that was just her on her own. What if Amelia wasn't ready for a sibling? She already required so much attention from so many people. And what if this wasn't what Puck wanted? Twenty-minutes ago he was cornering her in their daughters birthday party and arguing with her. For all she knew he probably didn't even want to be with her anymore because of all of this. Four years ago she told herself that she wasn't going to hold him down. That if he ever seemed unhappy or upset at all in their relationship then she was going to just end everything and move on. She didn't want him to live a life that he didn't have to be living in but if she was pregnant then he'd feel like he needed to be there. Puck was just a good person like that, he'd continue to go about everything as if it was just fine and dandy just because she was carrying his child and she didn't want that for him. This was never supposed to be their lives.
She just shook her head and put the department store bag into her purse. "No, I'm fine. Thank you for everything though, Quinn. I-I'll call you tomorrow or something." She said as she opened the car door.
"No problem. I'd run into a drug store dressed up as a bumble bee for you any day," Quinn said with a soft laugh before looking at her hands on the steering wheel. "Rach," Rachel looked at Quinn suddenly "You know it's all going to be okay right? If anyone can handle something like this it's you."
Rachel just looked down at her feet for a second. Sometimes she thought that Quinn had too much faith in her. "I'm not so sure about that." She shook her head as she looked back up at her best friend. "But thank you anyways." With that she shut the car door and made her way up to her apartment. She always kind of thought that the second time she'd be in this situation it'd be happier. She'd be with Puck and they'd both be excited about the results and they'd spend time talking about names and arguing about whether they wanted a girl or a boy and Amelia would be a little older and excited. Instead she was in the same exact position that she was in the first time with her best friend picking a pregnancy test up for her and being completely alone to take it.
She took a deep breath before pulling the drug store bag out of her purse and heading towards the bathroom. She needed to know if she was just imagining all of this or if it really was true.
A gallon of water and four pregnancy tests later, Rachel found herself sitting in an oversized t-shirt on the tiled floor of her bathroom. She couldn't find the energy to do much else but cry and stare at the damned sticks in front of her, willing for them to change their results and lie to her just this once.
But they didn't. And according to all four of those tests in front of her, Rachel was in fact pregnant.
She rubbed the tears out of her eyes as soon as she heard the front door of her apartment open and looked down at the tests laid perfectly on the floor in front of her, still mocking her with those damn two pink lines. She picked them all up quickly, sticking them back in their boxes before looking around for a place to hide them. If she just threw them in the trash then there was a chance that Puck could find them and she wasn't sure if she wanted to tell him yet. Or if she'd tell him at all. She'd always been so against it but maybe this just wasn't the right time. Maybe she just wasn't meant to have a child right now. A soft knocking interrupted her thoughts.
"Rachel? Are you alright? Quinn told me you weren't feeling well."
Rachel got up from the floor and grabbed the tests quickly before shoving them back into the brown bag that she'd had them in before. Shit. What was she supposed to do now?
"Rachel?" Puck knocked again before turning the locked doorknob. "Rach, open the door." He called out as he continued to knock.
"Just give me a second!" She called out as she looked for a place to hide the bag. After realizing that there weren't many other options, Rachel opened the bottom cabinet under the sink and threw the bag all the way in the back behind bottles and boxes. She just had to hope that he wouldn't go looking in there until she could figure out something else to do with the bag another time. She looked up at herself in the mirror and frowned slightly. Thankfully Puck already thought she was sick because she looked like shit as of that moment. Her face was pale but her eyes were red and puffy from the tears she'd been shedding for the past hour or so and she just looked exhausted and weak.
"Where's Amelia?" Rachel asked as she opened the door to the bathroom and stepped out, avoiding eye contact with Puck.
He took in her appearance and frowned. Quinn wasn't lying when she said that Rachel looked really beat up when she found her outside. He wanted to go to her sooner and see if she was alright but someone needed to stay at the party and make sure everything was going fine. Besides, he was still pissed off about the whole Nathan thing that happened. She'd lied to him. He might have been fine with Nathan being her co-star if she'd told him in the first place that they were working together. Puck was a jealous dude sometimes, he didn't go as far as to beat anyone up if they just looked at Rachel (his girl was hot, he knew that) but this guy, Puck just couldn't shake the bad fucking vibe that his guy gave him. He knew there was nothing that he could do about it. He very well couldn't just tell Rachel not to go on with the show or anything, this show was her life now, but it would have been nice to be reassured about it a little. She was spending all of this time with a man who Puck knew for a fact had ulterior motives and he didn't know what to do about it. What if Rachel realized she was in love with this guy? And then she took the kid and just left him for someone who had more in common with her and who she liked better? And then Amelia started calling him daddy and they got married and had kids and lived the life that he and Rachel were meant to share? He just didn't want to lose her. Especially not to some douche bag who spent all his time singing show tunes.
"She fell asleep in the car so I just took her to her room." Puck stepped up to Rachel and lifted her chin so that he could see her face. "Shit Rach, do you need me to take you to a doctor or something? You seriously do-"
"No." She said before turning away from him and walking over to their bed. She laid down and pulled the covers over her body before turning the light on the night stand next to her side off. "I just want to sleep it off," She said weakly as she made herself comfortable. "Unless you've got a problem with that." It was meant to be one of those comments that you make under your breath but she wound up saying it louder than expected.
Puck sighed before sitting down next to her on his side of the bed. "I guess I deserved that." He said after a second of just watching her try to fall asleep. "But you shouldn't have lied to me. I shouldn't have reacted like that but fuck Rach, what the hell would you have done?"
"I wouldn't have cared because I would trust that you'd stay loyal to me and not be stupid enough to allow some person who doesn't even matter to ruin what took us four years to build." She said before turning away from him and closing her eyes once again. "Can we not talk about this? I'm exhausted."
"Rachel." Puck said in a sigh as he looked up at the ceiling. "Rach, this isn't about that. This is about the fact that you didn't tell me."
"Well you didn't ask." She replied without looking at him.
"Why are you being so fucking complicated lately? One second you're happy and all over me and fucking hot but the next you're all sad or pissed off about nothing at all."
Rachel groaned before kicking the sheets off from her body. "That's it." She got up from the bed and went over to their closet before reappearing again with sheets and an extra pillow.
"Rach, what are you doing? You're not sleeping on the couch."
Rachel let out a loud laugh from the living room before making her way back to the bedroom. "Oh I know I'm not, you are. If you aren't going to shut the fuck up and let me sleep then you can go talk to yourself in the living room." She stood by the door and crossed her arms over her chest as if she were holding herself up. "Noah, please. I know you want to talk about this but I'm just so tired and I don't feel well right now and I'm really not in the mood to yell at you."
Puck made his way over to Rachel and grabbed onto both of her hands. "Then don't yell at me Rachel! Tell me what the fuck your problem is."
She looked up at him for a second and opened her mouth to say something but just closed it. What was she going to tell him that he impregnated her and she didn't really know if she wanted to go through with it or not? She just wanted to figure what she wanted out before she told him. She knew she was being insanely selfish at this point but she couldn't help it. "Sorry." She said as she looked down at her hands in his. "I just really haven't been feeling well and with the show and everything, it's just stressful."
He knew where Amelia got it from suddenly. He pulled Rachel into his arms and pressed a kiss onto the top of her head when he felt her relax in his embrace. There was no possible way for him to resist Rachel, not when she looked so small and innocent and tired. He knew they had to talk about this and he wasn't about to let it go but his girl really was tired and he figured he could wait a day. God, he really had turned into a pussy.
"Come on," He said as he pulled her back into bed and laid down next to her so that she could curl up into his side. He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms securely around her body before chuckling. "Were you seriously about to kick me out of my own room?"
"Our room and yes so shut up before I really do kick you out."
Puck just chuckled again and tightened his hold on her before relaxing slightly. He figured that if stress was what was making her so fucking crazy then he didn't want to stress her out anymore than she already was. She could save all that crazy for Nathan. The thought of that actually made him kind of happy. He could totally put up with Rachel working with that douche bag as long as she was driving him half as crazy as she's been driving everyone at home recently.
Rachel wrapped one arm around Puck and let her other hand rest on her stomach before closing her eyes and falling asleep. She figured that whatever problems they had could wait until tomorrow. Hell they had nine whole months to figure this mess out.
Over the next two weeks Rachel didn't find herself feeling much better. As a matter of fact the sickness only increased which only caused Pucks concern over her to increase. She'd say that her stomach was feeling weird and he'd start asking her all of these questions and trying to take care of her which she loved about him because it showed that as much of a tough guy as Puck was, he was her big softy no matter what. But recently she'd been waking up just to vomit. She knew that it was normal, lord knew how bad the morning sickness was when she was pregnant with Amelia, but Puck wasn't used to seeing Rachel so helpless.
"I think you should see a doctor." He said one morning as he held her hair back for her. And that was when Rachel really started to panic. Not because she was afraid of seeing a doctor or anything, in fact she probably needed to see a doctor sometime soon to make sure everything was alright but she was still kind of hoping that none of this was real. That all of this was just her going crazy and all of those tests were wrong and this whole not being able to smell oranges or meat or anything involving vanilla was just her body changing for some strange reason. But Puck would want to be there when she saw the doctor and he'd want to be a part of the whole process because he cared and he wanted to make sure she was alright. Then he'd figure out the truth and Rachel still hadn't accepted the truth, she didn't want him worrying until she was able to admit it to herself at least.
She walked into the theater one day with a fake smile plastered on her face. Rachel was the master of faking happiness and it wasn't really all that hard to do when your job is to play a girl who gets pregnant by accident. Story of her life much? Wow, it was kind of pathetic to admit that. Maybe she needed to learn how to close her legs or something. Or how to use birth control. She was on the pill but she was terrible at remembering to take it and Puck always loved to go at it without condoms because it 'made him feel closer to her since there was nothing between them.' She had to admit that it was ten times better than when they did use condoms but when stuff like this happened she wished they had never even had sex at all. Sex sucks.
"Hey, Berry." Nathan said as he passed her a cup of tazo green tea from starbucks. She grinned at him appreciatively as she took the cup from his hand and sipped it cautiously. He watched with a smirk on his face as she did the same thing that she'd been doing for the past month or so. Ever since they took a lunch break together and she told him that her favorite drink from starbucks was the teas, which he mocked her for because she would only drink tea from a coffee shop, he'd been bringing them to her every morning especially since he noticed how sick she'd been looking. Not bad, Rachel wasn't capable of looking bad, but recently she'd lost some of her energy. She couldn't get through the Totally Fucked number without needing to stop at least once to take a breath and he thinks that he heard her throwing up in the bathroom a couple of times this past week. "So how are you feeling?" He asked curiously.
She looked up at him and furrowed her eyebrows "Fine?" She said with a nervous chuckle before sipping on her drink again. "I'm perfectly fine. Why wouldn't I be?"
He shrugged and decided to play along "Don't know, you've just been acting a little weird lately and now that rehearsals are coming to an end I just wanted to make sure you were okay." He watched as she looked down at her lap and he raised his hand to brush a few strands of hair away from her face "Plus I really care about you." He let his thumb linger on her cheek as she raised her head and looked back at him with those dark brown eyes that he could spend the rest of his life staring into.
"Hey Rachel? Richard wants to go over the first number in about five minutes so get ready for that." Called one of the stage hands from the other room.
Rachel turned from Jesse and let out a deep breath that she hadn't even realized she was holding in. Why was it that whenever he was around she completely forgot about her home problems? Maybe Puck was right. Maybe he had been trying to put the moves on her so that he could take her away from her family but Rachel would never fall for it. It was just nice to have a friend who didn't know everything about her. Who wasn't obsessed with protecting her just because she got her heart broken by Jesse or because she had a child at sixteen. Nathan was just her friend, her insanely good looking friend, and she loved it.
The whole play looked amazing as of right now. Although they had yet to put all of the pieces together, the choreographers and voice coaches and the director had put so much effort into making sure that all of the songs and scenes that they did work on were completely flawless. The only thing that she really had to complain about was the amount of times that Richard insisted they worked on the Totally Fucked number. Thankfully this show didn't consist of a lot of dancing around for Rachels character but this one number had her so exhausted by the end of it. She knew that if she hadn't been with child then she would have had no problem doing all of these things but when walking up a stairs had her wanting to take a nap, doing something like this was a bit of a problem.
"Again! You guys look sloppy!" He yelled out from his spot in the audience. They had just moved to working in the actual theater this week and Richard was eager to have everything look flawless before the show opened.
By the end of the song Rachel looked ten times more tired than everyone else on the stage. Nathan was watching her with concerned eyes ever since the music stopped and when Richard called it a day for all of them, Nathan followed the brunette to her dressing room and watched as Rachel practically swallowed a water bottle whole. He walked up to her and put his hand on her back, rubbing small circles on it as she tried catching her breath.
Rachel was aware of him watching her the whole time but she couldn't bring herself to care. She was too tired to do anything but sit there and drink her water. She leaned against him slightly and rested her head on his shoulder before closing her eyes for a second.
"So how far along are you?" He asked suddenly.
Rachels head snapped up at that. "W-what? I don't know what you're talking about."
He rolled his eyes and pulled her back into his arms so that she could rest her head on his shoulder again "Please, I've been around enough pregnant women in my life to know the signs. You're tired all the time, I've been hearing you throw up a lot lately, you're moody and the fact that you were so quick to deny it tells me that I'm only right."
"I-I" Rachel didn't know how to respond. No one was supposed to know, especially not anyone from the show. She looked up at him after a second with tears in her eyes "Please, please don't tell anyone Nathan. Please, this show is the best thing that's happened to me in a while and I just want to wait until after opening night to let everyone know."
Nathan just shushed her and nodded his head while he let her cry against his chest. "Have you told anyone?" He was assuming not because as much as he hated her boyfriend he knew that he would never let her be as stressed out or look as unhealthy as she did right then.
"No." She whispered into his chest. "I found out about two weeks ago and I still haven't really accepted it myself. I just didn't picture myself getting pregnant again until after being married for a while." Rachel sat up straight and wiped the tears from her cheeks "I'm going to have to quit the show." She said before looking down at her feet.
"Yeah." He said reluctantly as he watched Rachel practically fall apart in front of him. He felt terrible for her all of a sudden. He couldn't imagine having to leave something that he loved so much after working so hard to get it. It wasn't fair but she couldn't really help it. Well it was half her fault that she got pregnant and all but she had no choice now. She was going to have to quit the show at some point. "You know, you should tell him." Nathan said suddenly.
Rachel frowned slightly before nodding her head "Yeah, I know."
Puck was out of work early that day and a little surprised to find that Rachel wasn't home yet. As rehearsals progressed she'd been able to go home earlier and earlier lately but he figured they were just working on something important or whatever. See? He could totally be sensible and whatever. Besides, he was kind of glad that she was getting out and doing a little work. Lately all she'd do when she got home was sleep. He figured she must be beat up from all of those rehearsals and whatever but she was Rachel Fucking Berry and sometimes none of it made any real sense. She had enough energy to keep New York going all on her own but recently she's been…almost normal. It was just kind of scary.
"I'm gonna make mommy a get better card." Amelia said before skipping into her room happily. Puck didn't let Amelia go around Rachel much just in case whatever she had was contagious but the little girl had been dying to do something that might make her feel better ever since she realized that something was wrong.
"Okay just make sure you keep your door open kid." He called out before leaning into the couch and turning the television on. He was going to spend the rest of the night just relaxing and hopefully not having to wake up at three in the morning to hold Rachels hair back as she threw up or just laying awake in bed to make sure that she was alright. Normally he wouldn't make such a big deal about people being sick but this was Rachel. He'd never seen Rachel do more than cough a few times in the last four years that they'd been together so all of this was beginning to creep him the fuck out. Hopefully it'd just pass and things would go back to normal though.
About an hour later he heard a knock on the front door. Furrowing his eyebrows he stood up to go get it before Amelia ran past him, practically knocking him down on the way. "I'll get it!" She said cheerfully before opening the door. Puck rolled his eyes because as much as he and Rachel tried to teach Amelia that opening the door without anyone being with her was a bad thing, she still continued to do it. He was going to have to start becoming stricter with her about this whole safety thing because who knew if some kind of a stalker or killer or something decided to just show up and try to hurt her? He would have never thought of these things before but ever since Rachel came into his life this whole protective father thing kicked in and he'd become this person who he barely even knew he could be. But fuck it cause he wasn't about to let anything happen to his kid.
"Who are you?" The little girl asked curiously as she looked up at the woman standing behind the door.
The woman just smiled and crouched down and smiled at Amelia sweetly before patting her on the head. "Hey there, Amelia. Is your mommy or daddy home?" She asked slowly as if Amelia were some kind of a baby or something.
Crossing her arms and huffing slightly Amelia moved from the womans touch and furrowed her eyebrows "Do you talk to everyone like that? Gosh, I'm not a baby. And how do you know my mommy and daddy?"
The woman just sighed and stood up straight again. "I'm an old friend okay? Look, can you just tell me where your folks are? I'm really not up for this shit right now it's been a really, really long day and I- Puckerman?" The woman broke out into a grin suddenly as she pushed past Amelia and went over to hug Puck.
"Santana? The fuck are you doing here?" He asked as he awkwardly hugged her back.
Santana just pulled back and sighed as she looked at Pucks face carefully. "You look good Puck, so damn good." She said with a nod as she brushed his cheek with her hand before pulling away from him completely and looking around the apartment. "And this place? I mean I heard that you and Rachel had been doing good for yourselves but this is great." She turned back at him and smiled.
Puck just watched curiously as Santana continued to compliment him and his life. He knew she had to want something because in all of the years that he'd known Santana Lopez, he had never known her to be generous unless she really wanted something. "Thanks." He said before walking up to the door next to Amelia and closing it before picking his daughter up in his arms.
"What is she doing here?" The little girl whispered curiously into Pucks ear.
He shook his head and shrugged "I have no idea."
"C-can we talk alone? I've had a long day and I just need to talk to someone." Puck took in the upset look on Santanas face and frowned slightly. Something was wrong.
He put Amelia down and looked at her for a second "How about you go get ready for bed and I'll be in your room in about twenty minutes to tuck you in, okay?" He said before Amelia just nodded and looked back at the woman she didn't recognize.
"I hope your day gets better." She said with a shrug before going back into her bedroom.
Santana just let out a laugh and shook her head "She's cute."
Puck smirked and nodded "Yeah, I don't know what I'd do without that kid." Puck felt like a total pussy whenever he talked about Amelia because even he could feel the admiration and pride coming from him. He turned to Santana and gestured towards the couch. "Well, what'd you need to talk about? Are you okay?"
She sat down next to him "Yeah I mean I'm good now anyways," She looked up at him with tears in her eyes "I'm sorry. I didn't really have anywhere else to go at the time. I was visiting my boyfriend for the next week and I was staying with him in Brooklyn but we got into this huge fight and I just left."
He furrowed his eyebrows and leaned into the couch slightly. "Must've been one hell of a fight if he got you to run away." He smirked slightly and nudged Santanas side. Truth be told, he never really thought about Santana at all. Out of all of the old gleeks or friends he had the least amount of trouble with letting go of her. She was always mean to Rachel and after the two of them hooked up and Rachel became friends with Quinn, Santana kind of kept away from them. He figured that if she didn't care then why should he? Sure at some point in his life he considered her great lay but she was always a bitch. Puck didn't really know why she would even come to them when she needed help but when he noticed her wince in pain after he nudged her on the side he knew that he was going to help her.
"Sorry, just…just a little sore." She said as she gently rubbed her side.
Puck sat up and frowned. Something wasn't right here. "Why would you be sore there?" He asked.
She just looked down and away from his eyes before lifting her top up slightly revealing a huge black and blue bruise along her side. How had something like this happened to her? She was supposed to be a successful lawyer at some point in her life. She'd been doing good in college and was well on her way to having everything she ever wanted until she met her boyfriend. He made her isolate herself from the rest of the world without even realizing it. She hadn't even spoken to Brittany in nearly a year because he didn't really like her. She'd dedicated so much time on this boy and the one time she decides to do something for herself, she went out with a few friends from work one night and came home smelling like alcohol, he went crazy. Ever since then she's been hiding bruises because she knew she probably wouldn't do any better than him.
"Shit," Puck whispered as he took a closer look at the bruise on her tanned skin. What was he supposed to say about that? He might not have been close to Santana lately but fuck, it wasn't cool to hit chicks. Sure they could be frustrating and Moses knew that Santana needed to be put in her place but not like that. No one deserved something like that.
She put her shirt back down slowly and continued to look down at the material of the couch. "Well yeah, that's why I'm really here. I'd go to Quinn or Kurt but I don't really knew what they're up to and Tina told me that you and Rachel were living here and that I should visit. I just have nowhere else to go."
Puck sighed. Fuck. What was he supposed to do? Throw her out into the streets? He couldn't do something like that. Not when she was so hurt and helpless. He couldn't risk letting her go back to that asshole who turned the strong and independent Santana into this car wreck that he was looking at right now. In fact, if he knew that Rachel wouldn't kill him for it he'd go over there right now and give the guy a taste of his own medicine. But his friend was upset and she obviously needed someone at the moment so he was going to be there as much as he could be because fuck, this shit was just too messed up for anyone to have to deal with.
Somehow, Nathan had convinced Rachel to visit a doctor. She'd been dreading the whole idea of actually having this confirmed by a professional for the past two weeks but she knew he was right, she had to make sure that this child she was carrying was healthy and safe. Luckily, and luckily being put in the most sarcastic of ways, there was an opening for that very afternoon and he insisted that she took it which she of course did on the condition that he would go with her. He was the one who suggested the whole thing and Rachel honestly didn't want to be alone for this appointment. She knew that she should have called Quinn or Kurt or even Finn but she just didn't want to risk anyone telling Puck just in case she couldn't go through with this and she knew that Nathan would never tell Puck about any of this.
The appointments brought too many memories back for Rachel. Some painful, like when she first found out she was pregnant with Amelia and had to figure out what she was going to do on her own. She knew she could never get rid of something that was living inside of her, she couldn't even eat eggs how was she ever expected to abort a child? But in the back of her mind she knew that adoption was never going to work out. She was all for faking it at the time though. That was until she got to hold her baby in her arms. Which led to anxiety. What would having Pucks child be like? She'd never really dared to think of what having another baby would do for her because she knew that the second she'd consider it and that the second she pictured a hazel eyed, olive skinned, dark haired baby in her arms she wasn't going to be able to think of anything else but now that she knew that the chances of her having one soon were high she couldn't help but let her mind wonder. But the most prominent of all of these emotions was definitely fear. She was scared shitless of what happens after the doctors appointment. The morning sickness, the having to tell Puck, the mood swings, the cravings, the weight gain, what if she couldn't handle it again? It was hard enough the first time when she had to give up her youth but now she'd have to give up her dream too?
But then she heard her child's heartbeat for the first time ever and she thought, fuck it. She was going to have a baby with Puck. They made this amazing heartbeat possible together and she knew that whatever happened next didn't matter. He wanted to marry her anyways and they were already living together. Rachel knew what it was like to deal with an infant and there was no doubt in her mind that Puck was going to make an amazing father to their child. Amelia would love the idea of having a baby brother or sister to help raise and teach things to and Rachel? Rachel suddenly couldn't wait to feel her baby kick for the first time or to hold her child in her arms and be able to sing to it and watch it sleep and just be there for everything. She hadn't really known it before but now she was positive, this was one of the best things ever. Spring awakening and Broadway was always going to be there but this feeling that she had as she heard the quick fluttering surround her was irreplaceable.
She walked up to her apartment door with a smirk on her face and a bag full of saltines and the beer that she knew Puck loved but never really drank because she was more of a corona kind of girl. It wasn't like she could drink anymore anyways so he should be able to have whatever beer it was that he wanted around the house from now on. And inside of her purse she had the very first picture, so to speak, of their baby. Along with convincing her to see a doctor, Nathan also convinced Rachel to tell Puck. What did he see so bad in Nathan? He was such an amazing person. She opened the door before hearing Puck speaking and smiling. He was probably on the phone or talking to Amelia or something. Suddenly she heard another voice, a female who couldn't possibly be Amelia, speaking back at him. Rachel walked towards the direction of the voices before taking in the view before her.
Puck really didn't know what to do with crying chicks. Whenever Rachel got a little over emotional he'd just kiss her to get her to shut up. With Amelia it was as simple as offering to take her to the park or just holding her for a little while and singing to her until she just felt better or fell asleep. So with Santana he figured he could do the next best thing. He pulled her into his arms and let her cry into his chest. It was kind of awkward for the both of them for a little while before he felt her relax and sob into his chest. He kind of just soothed her and ran his fingers through her dark hair while he waited for her to just let it all out. In no way had he noticed when the two of them shifted into a position where he was laying on the couch with her practically on top of him and even less had he noticed the sound of the front door opening. So he was kind of fucked when Rachel walked in and caught Puck with his ex-girlfriend on top of him.
She stared for a second with wide eyes as Santana quickly got off of Puck and stood up.
"Hi Rachel," The Latina said as she approached Rachel a little cautiously. "How are you? It's been so long."
Her attention finally turned to the girl in front of her and she frowned, unable to find the specific words that could describe how she felt right now so she simply settled for upset. She was sad and angry and disappointed and the whole good mood that she'd just been in? Yeah it appears that moods like that fade away when you catch the father of your unborn child with a girl on top of him.
"I should have learned the first time." She said under her breath before dropping the bag onto the floor without a care and shoving past Santana towards her bedroom.
Puck stood up then and decided to take some charge. He'd kind of been hoping that Rachel would wait until Santana told her story and explained herself before throwing a complete bitch fit but the look on her face right before she spoke just fucking hurt him so bad. He turned to Santana and sighed "I should go talk to her. There's a pillow and comforter right there," He gestured towards the seat by the hallway that led to the bedroom before continuing "If you really need anything ask. Goodnight Lopez." He said before rushing towards the bedroom and shutting the door behind him.
Santana looked around the living room and let out a deep breath before looking back in the direction that Puck had gone towards. She couldn't help but wonder what it'd be like if instead of Rachel it had been her living this life with him. She'd never really been the commitment type of girl but for Puck she was beginning to think she could reconsider that. He definitely wasn't the worst she could ever do, in fact he would be the best. He could love her and treat her like no one else had since the last time she dated him. They could lay with each other like they'd just been doing every night. She smirked before grabbing the pillow and comforter from the chair. She was going to make him hers again.
"Rachel it wasn't what it looked like." Puck said as he stood by the door and watched as Rachel threw on a pair of sweatpants and a black tank top.
"Of course it wasn't." She felt the tears in her eyes but forced herself not to let Puck see them. She didn't want to be vulnerable around him, especially not right now when she really just needed to be strong. "The same way it wasn't what it looked like when I walked in on Jesse fucking some other whore too, right? It definitely was not what it looked like then either, was it?"
"No, that was him being an asshole and thinking he could get away with being a dumbass. This was me trying to be a good fucking person." Puck frowned when Rachel just shook her head and moved onto the bed. Before she got the chance to make herself comfortable, Puck crouched down on the bed by her side and put two fingers under her chin, forcing her to look at him. "Rachel, listen to me. She was visiting here with her boyfriend and they got into a fight so this was the only place she knew to go." He explained with a pleading look on his face.
Rachel looked at him for a second and thought about it. Well it made sense as far as excuses as to why she was even there went but still, something about it just didn't make sense. "Why couldn't she go to Quinn or Kurts? And why the fuck were you guys practically spooning on the couch? Is that how you're going to behave with all of our house guests? Because if it is then you can forget about me ever inviting my mother to spend a week with us."
Puck just laughed at that and shook his head. He actually wouldn't mind a night alone on the couch with Rachels mom but he wasn't enough of a dumbass to say that out loud so he was going to just answer the rest of her questions. "I don't know Rachel, I think something about being with us made her feel safer? Plus she mentioned something about not really knowing what Quinn or Kurt were up to, we were the only connection she had in New York. And I was trying to comfort her." Rachel rolled her eyes at that and Puck could tell she was about to call bullshit on him but he started to speak again before she even had the chance. "Rachel, he beats the shit out of her and it's like really bad. She has these huge bruises on her stomach and thighs and he does it in places where he knows that she could cover them up." She just stared at him wide eyed as he spoke and he could only imagine that the look she was giving him now had to be similar to the one he'd given Santana earlier. "We can't just throw her out and let her go back to him, what the fuck kind of people would that make us? It's just for a week and then she'll be back in Ohio and everything will go back to normal."
Rachel looked down and sighed. "Okay." She whispered before feeling him sit up on the bed and pull her into a hug. She felt terrible about what was going on with Santana, she might not be her biggest fan but no one really deserved that. Still a part of her wished that she would go stay with Quinn or in a hotel or something that wasn't her home. It wasn't that Rachel minded having people there, especially not if they need help like Santana did, it's just that this wasn't the best timing for that. "But I'm not too sure about the whole things going back to normal part."
"What? Why not? Rachel, this isn't going to change anything. Sure Santana's my ex and she might have tried to ruin high school for you but we're all adults and that shit is all in the past." He said as he held onto her hands and rubbed circles around her knuckles.
This time Rachel just chuckled because he really had no idea what she was talking about. "No, Noah I know all of these things. Except for the adult part, when did you become an adult exactly?" She asked teasingly and laughed at the look on Pucks face. "But in all seriousness I do have something important to tell you."
He shifted slightly from his seat on the bed so that his whole body was facing hers before speaking "Okay, tell me then."
Rachel looked at him for a second and wondered if this was really the right thing to do. She knew it was too late because she already felt herself becoming attached to the idea of having Pucks baby but what if he didn't want it? Or wasn't ready for it? He seemed so excited about the idea of going back to normal and doing things the way that they used to, he might not be ready for a change as big as this. She let out a deep breath, she had to do this regardless of him being ready or not. "I uhm, finally visited the doctor today like you've been asking me to do for a while now."
"Really? Why didn't you tell me? I would've gone with you if you would've asked." Rachel just rolled her eyes because she knew how much Puck hated doctors and waiting rooms and that whole process. This appointment might have been one that he would have been interested in though. "Well what'd they say? It's not like really bad or anything is it?"
She looked at him for a second. There was so much concern and worry in his face and she didn't know where it'd come from. It was like he was a completely different person or something. He cared so much about her and she cared so much about him. Rachel suddenly felt like her heart stopped for a second. She couldn't do this. Not now, not like this she just couldn't. She choked back tears before shaking her head softly at him. "It's just a stomach flu. They ran a few tests a-and said I should be better in no time." She said with a reassuring smile.
Puck looked at her suspiciously, Rachel was still such a shit liar and he just didn't understand why she would hide something from him. He looked at her and noticed how sure she looked of herself though, almost as if she was telling the truth or something. "Okay, that's great baby." He said before pressing a kiss to her forehead and standing up to get ready for bed himself.
Rachel just leaned back against the bed and let out a deep silent breath. She couldn't do it. Why the fuck couldn't she just do it? It wasn't so hard, just say the words I'm pregnant and then it was over. But it wasn't. He'd have questions and feelings and she'd be alright with that if she knew for a fact that they'd all be positive. She knew that telling him was going to be the hardest part, telling Puck meant that it really was all over for her. That she was going to have the babies and get married and just be the wife who made nothing of herself. She loved her unborn child already but the idea still terrified her. She was only twenty-one years old. This wasn't part of her plan and she couldn't even imagine how Puck would feel. She was sure that this wasn't part of anyones plan.
She just needed time to think it through. She needed to come up with a way to be certain that Puck was going to be okay with this. She'd tell him when Santana left, a week was perfect timing right? And besides, Puck shouldn't have to deal with a pregnant woman and Santana at the same time. It'd be too much for him so she was actually doing him a favor by not telling him yet.
This would just have to remain her little secret for now.
NEXT CHAPTER: Puck and Rachel spend some time together, Quinn talks to Santana and we see a little more of Nathan and Rachel.