--WARNING: This chap is rated M for violence and gore.--

4

Carry On Wayward Son

Kansas

Carry on my wayward son

I stood before Alastair in nothing but chains, begging him to get the knife out of my gut. He laughed and twisted it ninety degrees. I screamed but had no voice.

There'll be peace when you are done

I didn't have one left. I didn't have anything left. He took it. With a snap of his fingers he could take anything from me. Like my voice. With an agonizing crunch the knife was withdrawn.

Lay your weary head to rest

I gasped silently in relief. But Alastair was smiling. That meant something worse than my mangled insides. My body shook violently in both fear and anticipation.

Don't you cry no more

"Ya know, Dean," Alastair said, walking toward me. "This was a real stupid decision for you to make," He waved his hand and I had a voice again, I could hear my ragged breathing. "You sure you want to stay like this? You sure you want this pain to jeep going? 'Cause you can still get off."

"Up yours." I rasped.

Once I rose above the noise and confusion

Alastair grinned again.

"Have it your way, then." He turned and walked away. I waited. I knew better than to think nothing would happen.

Just to get a glimpse behind this illusion

I felt warmth around my ankles, heat that turned blistering very quickly. I looked down, past the blood dripping from my stomach to the source of the heat. Fire. Blue and white licking up my legs leaving blisters and scorched flesh behind.

I was soaring ever higher, but I flew too high

"No, no, no, please, no." I whimpered. The pain hit like a wave hitting the shore. I screamed, a dry, broken sound.

Though my eyes could see I still was a blind man

I screamed and screamed, begging for an end. For a death that wouldn't come because it already had. It spread over my waist, my stomach, my chest, my arms and finally, my face.

Though my mind could think I still was a madman

I could smell my own skin. I could feel it fall away, leaving nothing but bone. The process was so slow I thought I had lost my mind halfway through.

I hear the voices when I'm dreaming

It took an entire day. When Alastair came I was blind; my eyes were gone. I was mute; my tongue was gone. But for some strange reason I could still hear.

I can hear them say

"You ready for it to stop?" He asked. I tried to nod, but I couldn't move either. He chuckled. I heard a snap and I could see. I could breathe, I could move. I had a body again, untouched. Ready for slaughter all over again.

Carry on my wayward son

I gasped, trying desperately to think clearly. I thought of my brother, my wife and my baby-girl. They were all I could hang onto.

"You know this'll continue as long as you refuse me." It wasn't a question.

There'll be peace when you are done

"Yes." I croaked. He shook his head.

"You got more guts than I thought, boy," He grinned at me and pulled out a very small but very sharp knife. "But how long do you think you can take this?"

"Bring it."

Lay your weary head to rest

He spent three days carving me up. Slice after slice until, once again, there was nothing left. He drove nails through my limbs and hung me on walls. He peeled my skin off layer by layer. He drowned me, he took away my ability to breathe and watched me suffocate. He dumped molten liquid down my throat and cooked me from the inside out. For a hundred years.

Don't you cry no more

I woke up, sweating, freezing and crying uncontrollably. I felt warm arms wrap around me. I knew that smell. I knew this body.

"Shh…sh, shhh. It's alright." She soothed. My fingers clenched her shirt, making sure she was there.

Masquerading as a man with a reason

"I couldn't wake you up," Lauren said quietly. I could hear the tears in her voice. "God, the way you were screaming…"

"I'm sorry," I choked. "I scared you, I'm so sorry."

My charade is the event of the season

"Shh, Dean, it's alright. Are you okay?" I buried my face in her neck.

"He s-set me on fire, Lauren. On f-fire." Her grip on me tightened.

"God, Baby," She whispered. She kissed my temple. "It's over now. I've got you, it's okay."

And if I claim to be a wise man, well, it surely means that I don't know

I remembered once, down there, she told me the same thing.

Alastair had left me bleeding to "death". I had my head bowed, too weak to lift it, trying to get to my next breath.

That's when I felt those gentle hands on my face, lifting my head and my eyes.

"B-Baby?" I gasped. She smiled and stroked my cheek.

"Shh, it's over now. I've got you, it's okay." I felt a strong wave of relief. I let Alastair fool me.

On a stormy sea of moving emotion

I leaned into her caress. I kissed her back when she kissed me. I fell for it. I truly believed I was getting out of here.

"It's okay now. I'm here." She said.

Tossed about I'm like a ship on the ocean

"D-don't leave m-me," I begged. "P-please."

"I won't, Baby. I'm right here. I'm not goin' anywhere." She leaned in to kiss me again.

A noose wrapped around her neck before she could. She was ripped away from me.

"NOOOO!" I screamed. I heard a snap. It was her neck. She hung in front of me, her perfect eyes bulging from their sockets, her limbs hanging limp at her sides. I let my head fall, unable to stop myself from sobbing.

I set a course for winds of fortune. But I hear the voices say

"Dean, it's alright. Shh…Don't cry." That couldn't happen here. Alastair couldn't do anything here.

Carry on my wayward son

"I'm s-sorry. It was j-just a d-dream." I said, feeling more pathetic than I had in my life.

"Did you remember something? From…Down there?" She asked.

"I never forgot."

There'll be peace when you are done

"What pulled me out, Lauren?" I asked. I had to know. What debt did I owe to some evil thing? What was strong enough to pull me out of there?

"An angel."

Lay your weary head to rest

I couldn't think. How could they exist? Why would they start helping me now? No. No she had to be wrong. Angels don't exist. There is no God, or Heaven. Only Hell.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"I've met him. I've been talking to him for the past year. He showed up after…you died."

Don't you cry no more

Another flash hit me.

At least twenty of them were ripping me apart, bit by bit. Laughing at my screams. I didn't know where Alastair went, but he wasn't here. I was sort of thankful for that.

I heard something above me.

Carry on, you will always remember

I heard yells of both terror and anger, not the usual noise you hear down here.

Carry on, nothing equals the splendor

I could see light. Not red. Not fire. I saw demons fleeing and charging at it. Some furious, some scared out of their minds.

Now your life's no longer empty

The demons that were on me abandoned their mission and jumped up after it, teeth bared in snarls. I was thankful they were gone. I focused on breathing. It was the only thing besides pain that you could think about.

But the light got brighter. I looked up. It was so much closer now. It was lashing out at the demons, knocking them away. It was coming at me.

Surely Heaven waits for you

I hid my face away from it. It wanted to hurt me. Everything wanted to hurt me, whether it was a bright light or not. I could feel it behind me. Its glow was so intense there weren't any shadows anymore. I tensed and tried to get away from it.

Carry on my wayward son

But you had no strength here. I felt something unbearably hot grasp my shoulder.

"No! Please!" I said, voice cracking. The thing didn't let go. It dragged me up, farther and farther. I didn't know what it would do to me. Where it was taking me.

There'll be peace when you are done

But the farther we went, the less it hurt. The less I hurt, I looked up at it, but it hurt my eyes. Then, without a second warning, I was in a pine box. The only thing that hurt my throat, and I was completely healed.

"His name's Castiel," Lauren said. "He says you're supposed to do something important."

"Like what?" I asked. What could God want from me? And why of all times did he want to talk to me now?

Lay your weary head to rest

She touched my face again.

"At least you're not hot anymore." I pulled out that smirk I hadn't used in God knows how long.

"Ouch. That hurts, Baby." A smile lit up her beautiful face and I couldn't tell it had been too long since it had.

"Where are we, anyway?" I asked.

"A motel in South Dakota." She said. I nodded.

A frantic pounding on the door made us both jump.

"Lauren! Lauren open the damn door!" She darted to the door and looked through the peephole.

"Lauren! Lauren, hurry up, please!" She wrenched the door open.

"Bobby!" Lauren exclaimed, slamming the door behind him. "How many?" She asked. He shook his head.

"I dunno, eight, ten," He said. She nodded. He looked around the small, tattered room. And his eyes finally found me.

"Dean?"

Don't you cry no more

--Yes, some of my old psychosis came out in this. Sorry : / --