A/N: I'm screeching incoherently right now, if anyone's interested hahaha. When was the last time I updated this? So sorry guys oops. Internet has not been kind to me, and I haven't been able to get a stable enough connection on my laptop to access this site. Same warnings apply, and thank you guys so much for the love/attention you've been giving this! Same warnings apply, and probably OOC-ness ahead. Another somewhat random anecdote: do the Specialist actually have defined personalities other than being the girl's SOs? I just realised after writing this and the next chapter (which might come soon since I'm pretty proud with how a particular scene turned out) that Timmy, and the other Specialists really, have somewhat blank slates when it comes to their personal lives outside the Winx. Idk. Ok, enough rambling, here we go!

"Hey, what's wrong? I know that Stella can come off a little harsh sometimes, but I'm sure she doesn't mean it."

"I know, I'm over it, I swear."

"But something's still bothering you."

Tecna pursed her lips. What else was she supposed to do, casually blurt out that she might die in the next few months? It wouldn't be fair for Musa, or any of the other girls for that matter, to have another added worry on top of Valtor's threat. She couldn't blatantly lie either. This was Musa. Even if she miraculously didn't catch her, it would leave a bad taste in her mouth.

"Tecna," Musa said, her voice cracking slightly, "don't you trust me?"

She does. Of course she trusts her oldest friend, the one who's been quietly at her side for the past two, almost three years, the one who had supported her unconditionally and was the first to see the fact that she was more than a machine and was just like the rest of them. But she couldn't find the words to say so.

She just couldn't do this to her.

The silence thickened, the music silent in a rare moment. Tecna couldn't even bear to look at Musa, turning around so that the far wall of their shared room loomed over her. Her jaw clenched from a desperate effort to keep herself intact, to keep up the façade that everything was alright and that nothing had changed. To keep up the pretence that she wasn't breaking inside, that she wasn't fighting an internal war that was leaving deep wounds.

It's better to rip herself to shreds than to do the same to Musa.

A hand gently laid itself on Tecna's right shoulder. "Whatever it is, I have your back. Promise. I'll be here until you're ready."

Yes, she'll be here, but what if Tecna wasn't?

She found her voice again, her mouth dry as if she hadn't spoken in a week. "You're… you're too kind."

"More like that's just what friends are for. Seriously though, I'm not gonna judge you, or anything really. Dunno how they do it on Zenith, but that's how we do it on Melody. No judgement."

Tecna stared at her clasped hands. She didn't want to hurt Musa, didn't want to make her relive the memories of losing her mother with another important person in her life. She couldn't.

"Please Tecna, I can't bear seeing you this upset."

"That goes both ways," Tecna spat bitterly. If Musa was already 'unbearably upset' seeing her refuse to tell her what was wrong for Musa's own good, she's going to be irrecoverably shattered, so to speak, if she were to hear the actual problem behind it.

"Honestly Tecna," the hint of a smile crept into her voice, "we've been through a hell lot of… awful stuff the past years. I think I can take it."

Tecna snapped.

She whirled around, shocking Musa, the tension releasing ten-fold in a fury-fuelled statement. "Fine! Fine! I'll tell you since you're so certain that it'll make you feel better to know! I hope you feel better knowing that my own magic is turning against me right this second and killing me because I sure don't!"

The silence was suffocating. It felt worse than Musa's pleas to know what was going on.

Tecna was not going to cry.

Musa froze, standing in front of Tecna, her face unreadable. Then the shock faded, and sorrow flooded her features that did nothing to improve the mood. Tecna could practically see a younger Musa in front of her, holding her mother's hand in her dying moments. She could feel the grief radiating from her, fear and a tinge of fury at the world mingling in her horror-stricken stance.

A horrible, selfish part of Tecna was relieved that she wasn't going to suffer alone. In that moment, she had never felt so disgusted with herself. Bringing her closest friend down for company? Despicable.

In spite of all this, in spite of what Tecna had done to Musa, she felt a pair of arms enveloping her in a tight embrace, clinging onto her like a desperate man would to fading hope.

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.

A thousand apologies would barely touch the wound that Tecna knew she had reopened.

"Tec…"

Tecna didn't say anything, couldn't say anything since she knew that nothing she could say would help. If anything, it would probably make her feel worse, given her aptitude for social situations.

"I won't tell the others or Timmy unless you're ready, I promise."

Tecna knew then who was truly the bravest.

Musa had truly been a blessing.

Tecna wasn't quite sure that the other girls hadn't noticed how close they had been getting recently, but then again they had always been quite close since they did share a room. But Tecna herself was guiltily appreciative of the fact that Musa had taken to looking out for her whenever she noticed her spells starting to go haywire. She didn't want to think about what would have happened on Solaria with that guard had Musa not moved in when her shield gave out a few seconds too early.

The whole liberation of Solaria had happened about a week ago, yet Tecna still felt a little weary, something which was not going to do her any good in this mission to Light Rock. However, there was also no chance that she was going to miss out on it, Valtor being more important than a (reluctantly much-needed) day's worth of rest. Any lead on his possible whereabouts would have to come first.

She'd almost laughed out loud when Digit had wanted to come along. "You can't come with me," she had said, a sympathetic smile tugging her lips, "you're too tiny and this mission is too dangerous."

Digit had pouted, and Tecna felt a pang of guilt. Who was she anyway, to dictate what someone should or shouldn't do? It wasn't like she'd listen to orders herself when she found them ridiculous.

Tecna's hypocritical, she knows, but the people around her collectively mattered more than her, for how much does a single life weigh against trillions of others?

It was only logical.

She now was standing at the front gates of Alfea, backpack in hand with her stash of gadgets, waving goodbye to the pixies. Digit was still sulking, Tecna could tell, but there wasn't much she could do now. Hopefully, Digit would be able to ruminate a little in the few hours that she would be left alone for.

Their little group set out for Light Rock, a place that had gained its reputation for being the calmest institution in the entire realm of Magix. The scene that met them, however, was nothing short of chaotic, the long-acclaimed serenity long gone in the wake of the disorder. The mark of Valtor loomed over them, leaving no doubt to who exactly was responsible. Evidently, the Trix had also been there, judging from the melted puddles of what could have been ice–

Ice. Frozen fractals stretched as far as her eye could see, an endless sea of blue that rivalled the fabled infinite ocean itself. The light beamed into her eyes, not quite daybreak but not quite night, dazzling her with a cry. It felt as if she should have been burning, but the only burn she could feel was the burn of the negative temperatures.

"Tec."

Tecna blinked.

"Are you okay? You seemed kind of spaced out there for a sec," Musa asked worriedly, with what an outsider would simply assume to be a superficial concern.

"I'm fine," Tecna whispered back, noting that Flora had taken notice of the duo, "seriously."

Thankfully Musa let it go for now, not that she had a choice since Ms. Faragonda took that moment to give the mission debrief.

"–and lastly Stella, you'll be paired up with Tecna. We'll cover the ground faster this way, as time is of the essence to track down Valtor and his three witches. Report back here if you find something substantial that may clue us into his whereabouts now."

Stella looked none too pleased with the arrangement, and for the first time in a few days, Tecna agreed. For reasons she can't fathom, while they had made up for the initial blow up before the Solarian Liberation they tended to clash over the smallest of things, which honestly caught her by surprise. Even though Tecna and Stella didn't have the strongest of bonds, they've never been at each other's necks like this before. They'd just have to suck up their differences for this mission.

Easier said than done, really, as Stella had already picked up the pace as if she had intended to leave Tecna behind.

"Stella, wait! Don't just go charging off like that, what if you run straight into a trap?"

"I'm not as dim-witted as you might think I am, you know!" Stella scoffed, pausing momentarily to observe a piece of wreckage. "Or maybe you really don't see me as anything more than a stuck-up princess!"

"That's not true! It's just that, well, you need to think more logically sometimes and not just go rushing blindly–"

"All your planning and organisation won't get you far in life, you know! You're too uptight for your own good, Great Dragon forbid that something randomly comes up and changes all your plans!"

Tecna paused, Stella's words echoing alongside Nurse Ophelia's. I can't say for sure whether you will survive. Tecna's tried so hard to push that to the back of her head, not wanting uncertainties to ruin her life. Try as she might, the looming thought of something completely out of her control sneaks up on her every once in a while, bringing forth anxious thoughts over her future.

Something changed in Stella's expression, and the agitated look softened to an apologetic one. "Look, I'm sorry that I've been so harsh lately. I just don't want you to regret anything since that feeling totally sucks," she chuckled softly, a saddened expression contrasting with sound. "But then again, it isn't really fair to try and change who you are, since there really isn't a friend like you. I know you try your best."

Tecna smiled weakly, "It's okay. Shall we carry on with the mission?"

There wasn't really a friend like Stella, either.

The mission, it turned out, was futile, really. The pixies had more action than they did (although Tecna wasn't really complaining given that the odds of her hurting herself with her own magic were quite high these days).

Digit had so 'selflessly' rejected her offer of letting her stay in Tecna's computer for a longer time, something she had found a little surprising. Turns out that she had tired of virtual monsters after going face-to-face with the Trix and Valtor, something that had made Tecna's heart swell with pride.

Digit didn't deserve to possibly lose her bonded fairy.

Tecna's said that there wasn't really any reason for her so-called 'sudden generosity', verbatim, but in reality, she decided to treat her bonded pixie a little kinder after realising how she felt about being left behind. Sure, it's only a few hours, but the pixie didn't exactly take well to her, well, absence before. Separation doesn't bode well on pixies.

Said pixie was now fast asleep in her bed, which was understandable given the events of the day. Dinner had been served an hour ago, the evening not quite new. Tecna sat cross-legged on her bed, her computer balancing precariously on her lap while a soothing melody played on a flute, courtesy of Musa.

Messages poured in as soon as she turned on the instant messaging programme she had installed, a trend she had noticed from a few weeks ago. She opened the first one, a smile spreading on her features as she realised who sent it.

Timmy: How was the mission cupcake?

You: Didn't find anything, although surprisingly the pixies did. They took on the Trix and Valtor without help!

So, cupcake, huh? 3

Timmy: I don't see why not :) you're adorable enough to pass for one

You: Oh stop, you're going to make me blush.

Timmy: That is, when you're not being extra uptight

You: Never mind.

Timmy: I'm just kidding lol

Anyways, I'm glad to see that you're alright.

Tecna glanced at the flashing indicator on top of the screen. Timmy was still typing. And then he was not, as if he was reconsidering his words. His previous message weighed heavily on Tecna, for she knew that he had chosen to omit part of what he wanted to say.

A long stream of messages from Timmy was still visible at the top of the screen, for they hadn't found much of a need to message in the previous months (calling had become their main method of communication due to the comfort of knowing how the other person was truly feeling). Tecna couldn't even bear looking at those particular messages, as the desperate tone of them broke her heart ten times over. She'd never wanted him to break, never wanted to make him feel the pain he did.

And she'd have to make him go through it again.

She'd seen how ragged and worn down he was after the rescue, how his body seemed to exude weariness and fatigue. He'd even skipped out piloting in favour of a quick rest, leaving Sky and Brandon at the controls. She'd caught whispers of conversations from the other Specialists, about him staying up for Arcadia-knows how many days straight in what seemed like a foolish attempt for a glimmer of hope, to the point where he'd call 'sleep' him passing out in front of his computer.

He'd done it all for her, sacrificed his sleep and health in the faintest hopes that he could get his love back. All for her.

And it could all be in vain.

New Message from Timmy: You are, right? Everything fine on your end?

A frown tugged on her lips. Did he not think that she can take care of herself? He wasn't wrong to worry, though. Much as she hated it.

You: Don't. I'm fine.

What a transparent lie, really.

He'd paused, evident from the sudden inactivity. Tecna snorted. What kind of fool would buy that, anyways? It's extremely unlikely for one to not have some sort of ramifications after the whole ordeal. Not to mention the little scene at Red Fountain.

Timmy: Headmaster Saladin wanted to apologise. He said that he shouldn't have asked you to do something that big of a scale so soon after.

You: Does the machine work at the very least?

Timmy: We're not quite sure, although the readings do seem more normal.

Typing…

Online.

Well, take care, okay?

Be well.

Tecna stopped typing her reply, reconsidered it again.

You: You too.

The 'I love you' was left unsent.

She went to bed early, seeing no point in continuing any – or starting – any new conversations.

She stopped to reconsider, already huddled in the sheets, whether she actually wanted to go to bed. Sure, she didn't have much else to do, but was the lack of boredom a fair enough trade for the world that plagued her with seemingly endless nightmares?

Tecna could barely remember the last night she got a good night's sleep. Every single night without fail she woke up in the middle of the night, her breath laboured and her heart beating frantically against her ribcage. Shot, strangled, stabbed, just plain succumbed to hypothermia, you name it, her nightmares subjected her to it.

What made it all the more terrifying was how that wasn't far off from reality. She'd gotten herself out of the clutches of death more times than she could ever bother to count in the Omega, and all of them were mostly by the skin of her teeth. To relive them over and over again during the time that she was supposed to be the most relaxed...

It was just so... real.

Every little detail in whatever foe her subconscious threw at her was as clear as day, not murky or blurred by the abstracts of sleep. And every time, every single damn time she'd wake up in the middle of the night with her heart in her mouth and it was just so...

Sometimes she wished she died there, spared the agony of suffering the consequences of that wretched place that followed her around like her shadow. It doesn't even matter now, since she might be dying anyway.

She needed the sleep. The most logical thing would be to sleep. What was wrong with her?

She closed her eyes, in an attempt to save the last flickers of rationality within her.

She was Tecna. Tecna was not that easily swayed by emotions.

The cool, blissful black melted away to the blue of the Omega.

Her reflection wavered in front of her, shifting and changing within the surface of the ice. Hazel eyes stared back at her, and she bit back a cry of terror.

No. Great Dragon no. Not Timmy.

His face was so hopeful, so relieved. His mouth moved, forming words of joy that brought stabbing pains to her heart. She knew what was going to happen, knew that a damned convict was going to sneak up on her and kill her slowly, but she couldn't move an inch away from her boyfriend's relieved gaze.

She didn't even struggle when her arm was forcibly grabbed, leaving burns on her wrists from the force. She knew that a dagger was being raised that very second, a dagger that was going to end her short life. She couldn't care. She wouldn't care. Let it. She's done with the Omega.

Then a piercing scream cut across the cave, and she saw, saw the crushed look on Timmy's face.

I'm sorry.

And the world faded away, but the agony that had resided in his eyes remained.

She couldn't breathe. She couldn't breathe.

Her lungs rattled for air, but she still couldn't breathe. Her chest was constricted, as if she was buried in an avalanche. In, out, in, out but no air remained, no oxygen was relieving the suffocation.

"Mu... mu–sa!" Her voice rasped, her lungs fighting a losing battle. Would Musa even hear her?

"Tecna!" Thank the Great Dragon. Thank whatever in Magix for her roommates sonic hearing. Musa didn't waste any time in gathering her in her arms and helping her stand.

"I'll get you to the nurse. You'll be okay."

In, out, in, out. Her head was starting to ache.

"Tecna, stay with me!"

In, out, in, out.

Did Musa say something?

The lights were pretty in this room. Who was that woman in white? An angel?

The last thing she saw was Musa's eyes.

They were pretty too.

A/N: Might double update, let's see. Also, this chapter was a bit of a pain, so sorry if the flow isn't as smooth as usual. Lots of editing which probably barely skimmed the surface of continuity/characterisation errors, so feel free to offer some critic! I also probably need to apologise for any inaccuracies in the depiction of trauma, reading medical reports can only do so much. Thank you for reading through!