FFX Deaths My Way
Sorry peeps if this new chapter took a little while to get posted. It's because I've been on holiday in Germany, I had to write this chapter on my laptop in my hotel in Berlin. The sites are great! Lol, anyways this is chapter 4, the most random yet, and believe me, it'll get randomer. Hope you all enjoy it! Please REVIEW!
Disclaimer: I don't own ffx or x-2 square-enix does and I don't own the Movie, Death becomes Her, which is being parodied in this chapter, nor do I own Family Guy the greatest show on earth, which has some themes copied.
CHAPTER 4
It was early morning in Macalania, and the birds were singing, the sun was rising from its sleep and everything seemed like heaven. That's for everyone except Rikku who had one MASSIVE headache.
Rikku slowly rose from the snowy ground of which she had no idea whatsoever of how her and Seymour asses could have survived the night sleeping on it.
She walked over to the sink, which just happened to be sitting there, outside the temple. Rikku looked in the mirror at herself with drowsy eyes. She took an over-dose of mega happy pills, which caused her jaw to forcefully smile. She was now hyper, and was ready to do anything that she felt obligated to do.
She turned around to wake up Seymour asses but gasped when she saw what looked like a mask of Seymour asses' face on the ground. Sitting on the snow, snoring louder than the almighty thunderous heavens, was Tidus.
Rikku: what…the….FUCK!
Tidus groaned and opened his eyes but gasped when he saw Rikku staring at him murderously.
Rikku: you fucking home wrecker! You tricked me into having sex with you! I thought you wanted to fuck Yuna's ass! You disguised yourself as Seymour asses to seduce me?
Tidus: erm…well… yeah.
Rikku: you could've just asked.
Tidus: yeah, I know but when I anticipated it I was probably high.
Out of nowhere, GI Joe runs up to them and says:
GI Joe: kids, you see what the affect of solvent abuse does to you and people around you. Last year there were over 1000 deaths in Macalania alone, due to chronic brain diseases and heart failure.
Rikku+Tidus: now we know!
GI Joe: and knowing is half the battle.
There is cheesy music in the back round; Rikku and Tidus are wide- eyed and smiling like little kids, waving at the stupid marine, who is doing a saluting sign. And finally a random voice says: GI Joe!
Meanwhile in the middle of the woods
Yuna, Kimarhri, Doris and Bahamut are all wearing short shorts, are linked in arms, standing atop a large tree branch, dancing to the Coyote Ugly theme.
They all jump the tree and then Yuna says: well that was fun!
Doris: me wanna do it again
Kimarhri: ooooooo I loved that! I was sooooo enjoying myself, then you had to like, switch the music off!
Everyone starts talking about how much they really liked doing the Coyote Ugly dance.
15 minutes later…
Yuna: shouldn't we be setting off for the temples, I mean, come on, this has turned from a gladiator tournament to some sort of brothel party.
Bahamut: yeah and you would know everything about brothel parties, wouldn't ya, Yuna.
Yuna: what?
Bahamut: nothing.
So they set off on their little retarded journey to the temple, as they were leaving the woods when, out off the bushes, something jumped out at them. It had Lulu's head, but Wakka's body.
Yuna: SCREAM!...!
Lulu: Yuna shut up! You're probably all wondering how the hell this happened, well, long story short, when my upper half, which had miraculously survived it's separation from my legs, I looked at my lower half, which were hopelessly crushed by rubble. So in order to get around, I crawled to Wakka's body to steal his lower half.
Kimarhri: gross!
Lulu: so when I got there I found he had survived.
Yuna: shit!
Lulu: so we made a deal. We decide to switch bodies. I thought Wakka was being stupid as usual because my legs were crushed, but the little fucker managed to fix them and….
Wakka walked out from behind the bushes with Lulu's sexy lower half.
Wakka: you-hoo!
Everyone except Wakka and Lulu's jaws were dropped.
Kimarhri fainted, Yuna threw up over Doris
Bahamut: not again!
Meanwhile, back to Rikku and Seymour asses, woops, I mean Tidus.
Rikku and Tidus were getting it on again, after Rikku accepted his sincere apology he decided to make it up to her by giving her a nice session of sex.
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End of another chapter!
Well I hope ya liked that one! PLEASE review if you don't you will be neutered I'm serious!