Here's some humor to balance out that heart wrencher of a last chapter.

This takes place between Kym's attack and the Apollo/Artemis visit in BoO.

There's no specific POV, so it's gonna be random.

And shirtless Leo is shirtless. You're welcome.

I own nothing you recognize as canon.

4: Crisis

No Laughing Matter

"Everyone into the mess hall! Emergency! Emergency!"

Annabeth, Jason, Frank, Piper, and Hazel sleepily filed into the mess hall of the Argo II. Percy was standing inside, frantically opening the cupboards and refrigerator. He turned, saw the five teens, and frowned.

"Where's Leo?" he asked.

Jason yawned. "In the engine room, I think."

"Get him. This concerns him, too. This is a huge emergency that everyone needs to know about!"

Frank grumbled and left for the engine room. It took a lot of bumping into walls, seeing as how it was early morning and everyone had been so kindly woken up by Percy, but eventually he stumbled into the steamy engine room.

Leo was curled up on top of a sleeping bag, a hammer still in his hand. He was only wearing bright blue boxers. His tool belt was lying nearby.

Frank didn't really need to see this. Leo was scrawny enough with his clothes on. Almost naked…he looked just embarrassing. Frank felt sorry for him.

He kicked Leo's leg, trying to look anywhere but down. "Get up, Valdez," he grunted.

Leo swung his hammer in alarm, gasping, "Wha? Who's attacking? What I need smash?" he slurred.

Frank rolled his eyes. "Percy's called an emergency meeting. Put some pants on and get to the mess hall."

He left before Leo could protest.

Five minutes later, Leo had arrived. He was half asleep, his hair still tangled (more so than usual), only wearing brown pants with suspenders donned over his bare torso. He wasn't wearing any shoes.

"Why," he yawned, "are we up at this ungodsly hour? Even Gaea wouldn't be up at five in the morning!"

"I'm with Leo," Hazel said, trying to avoid looking at Leo's scrawny body, a blush rising in her cheeks.

Percy opened the fridge and gestured inside. "What is wrong with this picture?"

Annabeth rubbed her eyes. "Its light is out?" she observed.

"Dude, I'll fix that in the later morning," Leo whined.

"No," Percy yelled. "What's not in this fridge?"

"Fruit?" Frank guessed.

"Milk?" offered Jason.

"Evil spirits that steal your left shoe?" Leo grumbled.

"ICE CREAM!" Percy howled. "There's no ice cream in the fridge!"

Everyone blinked at the son of Poseidon. Annabeth rubbed her temples. "So…let me get this straight. You woke us all up before Apollo's chariot even appeared in the sky…to tell us that there's no ice cream in the fridge?"

"Yes."

"I'm confused," Jason said. "We've eaten ice cream before, haven't we?"

"We had a few tubs in there," Leo explained. "I think Pipes ate the last of them when she and Hazel had a girlfriend session four nights ago. They both ate the tub of minty choco-supreme and watched sad chick-flicks. I could hear the tears falling from the control room!"

Piper smacked him. "Shut up." Then, she turned to Percy. "You do realize we have self-filling bowls and plates, right? You could just grab one of those and—"

"It's not the same!" Percy slammed the fridge door shut. "There's a difference in taste!"

"Seaweed Brain," Annabeth huffed. "The food in the self-filling plates taste exactly the same as the food you would eat anywhere else."

Leo coughed, rubbing the back of his neck and looking away. He had ordered cider and stew plenty of times since leaving Ogygia, but it did not taste the same as when Calypso made it. He didn't say that out loud, though.

Percy flailed about. "We need to get more ice cream!"

Leo ran a hand through his hair. "Dude, the ship's moving as fast as she can…more like she's limping as fast as she can, mind you. When we dock, you can go get ice cream."

Piper winced. Leo sounded pretty agitated. "Why don't you go back to sleep?" she offered.

Leo threw his hands in the air. "No need! I'm up now. I'll go make sure the engine hasn't coughed up a hairball yet. She's been wheezing like crazy…"

He left, grumbling about wanting ice cream now. Hazel and Frank left as well, yawning.

Jason nodded to Percy. "I get where you're coming from, man, but you could have had a craving after we made port."

He and Piper walked out.

Annabeth came up and softly smacked the back of Percy's head. "We're about to make port in Mykonos. We'll get Gelato there while we scout out for monsters. Okay?"

Percy groaned, but agreed. "Fine. But I still want ice cream…"

Annabeth rolled her eyes. "Sucks for you, Seaweed Brain, if you don't want to eat out of the self-filling bowls. Now, can you let everyone sleep?"

"Nope." Percy grinned. "Not when there's a crisis at hand."

"That's not a crisis," Annabeth said, leaving the mess hall.

Percy yelled after her, "Ice cream shortages are no laughing matter!"

A/N: Because this is totally the reason Percy and Annabeth brought back Gelato before Leo, Hazel, and Frank went to see Apollo and Artemis.

Fact.