Chapter 4: Last Chance Emmett

"There, all pretty," said Alice. "Now that we finally finished the list, what do you think we should do, Jasper," I said. Then Rosalie started to chew Emmett out for doing something that we forgot on the list. "Emmett MCCARTY CULLEN!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Rosalie shouted. Then Emmett came into the kitchen and saw all of us sitting at the table looking like someone just died. He asked, "Um guys? Is there anything I need to be enlightened on?" Now this was true pressure right now. Then I out of the blue, blurted out, "we are making our own quidich cake for the harry pothead release." Even he knew there was no real Harry Pothead and Emmett's an idiot. Then Carlisle told Emmett to sit down to hear this. "Now Emmett, we only made this list because you have been driving us to the insane nutty farm, okay?" I chimed in with, "And please don't kill Jazzy please Emmett? I want to be his new wife." That's when you know Alice totally lost it. Then Alice screamed at the top of her (understandably) tiny lungs, "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU HAL!!!!!!! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS AND DIE!!!!!" Then she started to run at vampire speed around me with Esme's fine china in a triangle. Then I added one more thing to the never-ending list.

Don't tell anyone that you scare teens

And don't believe in Harry Pothead

He isn't real

Even if the 4th graders think so

Chop trees, not Hal's head

"Emmett McCarty, this is your final chance to give up or else!" That's when Carlisle turned into a nervous wreck. The Volturi ended up breaking down the antique diamond door with a deer head. Aro, the Volturi leader said, "Now Emmett, why did you put car oil in my hair?" Aro screamed. Now Carlisle, the hippie peace-maker, said, "For your info Aro, we were just finishing our list of things that Emmett is not to attempt, ever." Edward told me that Aro's thoughts consisted of anything wrapped in bacon and he wants to expand the list. Then I politely handed the teal glitter fuzzy pen to Aro.

Don't put car oil in anyone's hair

Don't dress up as Chucky

Or Freddie Kroguar

"Now then, as long as Emmett abides by these rules especially mine, you are all safe," Aro said. "Now that we finished the list now to kill random birds," Alice said.

Thanks for everything you guys. All your reviews made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. And the suckish part: I don't own Twilight =( But I loved writing this and PLEASE REVIEW AND READ THIS PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME I DID YAY YAX,

EmmettCullencandy666