Disclaimer: Don't own SJA, never have, never will, never shall. I do however own a very nice collection of books which really amounts to my world-wide possessions

"Get off," Sarah said to me, as she was cleaning the surfaces the next day, "I want you to post a letter for me,"

"Why?" I asked.

"Bills," she said, and handed me the letter, "Don't unconventionally lose it,"

"What me?" I asked, hopping down from the table, "I never lose things. The exact place is all in my mind, I just forget sometimes,"

"Exactly," she said, "Now hop it,"

"Sir, yes, sir," I said, jumping down from the table, and looking out of the window, "Oh, Kelsey's got her hooks into the new girl already,"

"Letter," she said, and I quickly left the house, to post the letter. Wasn't I lucky that the post box was only about four steps away from the house?

"Went mad, run away, screaming? My mum's friend, Kath Pontings, she lives down there, kept saying the bloke kept on at her about seeing aliens from out of space," I stopped short when I heard what Kelsey said to the new people. Shit.

"What sort of aliens?" asked the girl. I posted the letter.

"Like it's real," said Kelsey, and I walked towards the house, "Hey, Christinabobblelobble," I sighed when she tried to say my name.

"What?" I asked her, and made my way over to the small group, "Can you not try and pronounce my name?"

"Your name is weird," she said, "Chrissieandolene,"

"Wrong again," I said, and then smiled at the girl, "Hello,"

"Hi, I'm Maria," she said.

"Chrissie," I said.

"Short for Christina?" she asked.

"No, actually. It's a rather long name,"

"Alan Jackson," said the man, "Where do you live then?"

"Just across the road," I said, "Number Thirteen,"

"Hey, Christinavanama," Kelsey said.

"It's Christinasoljacquelinevamana," I said, "Not difficult to remember,"

"I'll say," said Maria, "You've got an unusual name,"

"It's a family tradition," I said, "Most people call me Chrissie or Chris,"

"Nice to meet you," she said.

"Chrissie!" called Sarah, from across the road.

"Coming Sarah-Jane," I said, "I have to go,"

"Is she your mum?" asked Mr Jackson.

"Sort of," I said, "But I have to go," I walked quickly across the road, and went to Sarah, "Talking about aliens again. I think the family before them saw a couple of things,"

"Hi," said Maria, walking along the other pavement, "We just moved in opposite, I'm Maria Jackson,"

"Hello," said Sarah, shortly, before walking into the drive. She chucked me the keys.

"We're going now?" I asked, "Let me get my coat,"

"It's already in the car," she said, "And I've got the maps," I raised my hands up.

"Hi," said Mr Jackson, "Hello there nice to meet you," Sarah-Jane looked back, "I'm Alan, Alan Jackson,"

"Err," said Sarah, not shaking the hand opposite, "I hope you're not going to make much noise, because I work from home, and I don't like to be disturbed," I unlocked the car door, and put the keys in the engine

"OK, nice to be made welcome," said Mr Jackson.

"Sorry," said Sarah turning back to him, "Sarah-Jane Smith,"

"See you then," called Kelsey,

"Yeah," said Maria.

"Where are you exactly going again?" Maria's father asked them, curiously.

"Bubble Shock factory," said Maria, looking with a sceptical look.

"Free bus," called Kelsey, and they walked along. Sarah looked at me, and I raised my hands, what could we do about it? There were always going to be people on the tours.

"Anyway I'm sure we'll get along just fine, it's just me and Maria now. Making a new start of it, bit of a divorce and that. Don't worry it's all been sorted, no shouting. So what kind of work do you do?" Mr Jackson was rambling. Sarah just got into the car, "Really? Well must be fascinating,"

"You're going to run him over," I said, as she started the engine.

"Oh well," she said, as she pressed down on the accelerator.

We passed Kelsey and Maria on the way, and I could tell by their body expression that they were talking about us. "You're making quite an impression," I said to her.

"So are you," she said, "But what do they know?"

"Well they know my full name," I said, "Kelsey was trying to say it, not much luck there,"

"Chrissie," she said.

"Pass me the maps," I said, and she got them out of her coat pocket. I spread them on my lap, "When we get inside we then will proceed to the outer parts,"

"Meaning?" she asked.

"Behind the scenes," I said, "I really want to know was Bane is. It might be organic, but it's nothing what I've seen before,"

"It is all rather odd," she said as she parked, just in front of a pub, a little further up from the bus stop, "I mean, they got their permit in two weeks, rather than years like ordinary products were, they came from nowhere,"

"Which is why we're checking them out?"

"Precisely," she said. The bright orange bus passed us by and I looked at her, "Here we go," she shifted the car into first position and followed the bus.

"I still think I should have made that laser pencil," I said, "Imagine how easily it would be to get into stuff,"

"We aren't going in all guns blazing, Chrissie," she said, "Take the smooth and natural approach, like your father,"

"Dad isn't all softly, softly," I said to her, "His mouth often gets him in the way of the peaceful approach and people nearly always die,"

"Doesn't mean that softly, softly never works," she said, "Just that it can lead to unnecessary damage,"

"Turn left here," I said, she did as I told her, and I waited for the bus to go into the hanger of the factory, "Off we go," I muttered as she pressed hard on the throttle and we zoomed into the factory. We parked just round the corner of the bus. I popped my door open, "I bet they are going to wish that they scheduled an appointment,"

"It would have made life so much easier for them," she said, as I flattened myself to the wall, and peeked round the corner. All the visitors were going into the factory. We quickly made our way towards a door.

A beeping noise erupted from my watch, and I flicked it open, "Huh," I said, "Alien life form detected in this quadrant," I looked at Sarah.

"I knew it," she said, pulling open the door, "I remember doing this with Harry,"

"Isn't he rather old?" I asked.

"He's at NATO," she said, "I don't know what exactly," I rolled my eyes, "Don't look at me like that,"

"I didn't do anything," I said as we walked down a white washed corridor, "I didn't do anything!" there was a gurgling above us, "I don't like that noise,"

"I do admit that I'm not particularly thrilled by that noise," she said, and my watch beeped again, "I've always wonder, what stops the scanner from picking you up on it?"

"Easy," I said, "Just factor the Time-Lord traces out of it, and it will pick up every form of alien activity, apart from Time-Lords,"

"What if there is a Time-Lord?" she asked.

"Well then it won't detect anything," I said, "Could be bad, could be good, but it does register TARDIS' and what's a decent Time Lord without TARDIS?"

"Good point," she said, "You do know that the Doctor stole his TARDIS?"

"No," I said, "Really?" she nodded. We suddenly crouched behind a metal box to avoid some workers. I spotted a door and motioned to it. Sarah-Jane nodded, and we quietly made our way over to it. I got my sonic pen out. The door clicked and I glared at Sarah, "I still can't believe that I had to make mine,"

The door opened to reveal two workers, "Ahh," she said.

"Shit," I said.

"Chrissie," she hissed. I just shrugged my shoulders.

"Come with us," said one.

"I really don't think," I said before getting frogmarched to the reception, "This isn't working so well,"

"Really?" said Sarah, "At least we got in,"

"There is that," I mused, before getting shoved into a chair, "Is politeness only for the upper classes?" I asked the workers, who didn't say anything, "Clearly,"

A man walked in front of us, "You have been found trespassing on the Bubble Shock factory,"

"It said that we could view the factory," I said.

"Names?" he said, ignoring me.

"I'm Sarah-Jane Smith," said Sarah, "This is Chrissie Tyler, tell your superior that,"

"Less of the lip," he said.

"Less of the rudeness," I said to him, "Well this is nice," I was chucked a bottle of Bubble Shock. I chucked it back, "I hate that stuff,"

"It's natural," he said.

"Huh," I said, "I don't count pop as being natural, more artificial rubbish,"

"She's very strong minded," said Sarah, "Could you tell your superior?" he walked off, "Chris," she tutted.

"He's rude," I said, "Anyway, that Bubble Shock stuff is nasty, doesn't do anything nice to me," I waggled my fingers, "Get me a banana, and that is natural,"

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