Being ladylike is hard when there's this guy that's constantly annoying you!
A/N: Hey remember when I said I'll give you regular updates? ...No? That's good, cuz I have no idea what I thought back then? did i go crazy for that moment? Pfff! How could I ever think I'd be able to do this? I'm sorry, I reaaalllyyy wanted to update this story on time and stuff but, the school's just been so crazy for me lately you know, my last year and all, I had to stay after school almost everyday and write something... ahh all the hassle *^* so many exams... my head hurts... x-x BUT! since it's already summer holidays I will try to update this story... more often... or at all
Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama, you should know it by now!
It was another peaceful evening for the shogun's palace, the sun was slowly setting and everybody was gradually being engulfed by the overwhelming laziness of the end of a day. Quiet air spread the aura of calamity surrounding the whole palace. Except that it didn't. Today was neither peaceful nor calm or quiet seeing as it was the day the young lord's fiancée finally came. Princess Kagura, as introduced, came from a faraway Kingdom known as the Yato Empire, being herself a member of the strongest and most bloodthirsty clan on the Earth, known for its great fighting skills and almost inhuman endurance and regenerating speed. The princess seemed to be the perfect picture of a Yato clanswomen that brought havoc and chaos everywhere she went. In fact since she came "peace" became a rather abstract term. Currently she was in her room waiting for her husband-to-be to come back and finally meet her.
The tension in the palace was so thick that it could be cut with a knife and served on a silver plate, together with a ten dishes set that the newly-come princess had just ordered for the fourth time this hour, driving the cookers crazy and successfully emptying the fridge and three more cupboards.
A source of the said tension was quite easy to be spotted. The dark clouds of animosity were gathering around the princess's room, caused in all probability by the calmly sitting before her door policeman. No servant had any idea what the poor man did to deserve such an open hostility from the Yato clanswoman or how in the world was he able to still be alive and kicking after spending nearly two hours in such a close proximity to the person who was probably stabbing him with the imaginary daggers every time she'd seen him. The only answer could be that he was either blind not to see the anger and resentment on princess's face and deaf not to hear the sound of her knuckles cracking and screams of thousand souls fleeting when she accidentally bumped into him, or he was simply a masochist, wishing to die.
They couldn't 've been much further from the truth. Okita Sougo assigned, as the best swordsman in Edo, to guard the future wife of Shogun's little brother was neither blind, deaf and definitely not a masochist. He simply didn't give a fuck. Now, one could ask how was that possible with all the repugnance the princess showed him but the thing with Okita Sougo was that he never cared about things as little as that so he wouldn't do it now with the snotty princess radiating the rather strong killing intent. And there was one more thing. Annoying the princess to no end had quickly found its way to the top of his favorite-things-to-do-list, right next to trying to assassinate Hijikata when no one looked, so he was delighted when he found out that he could do it only by sitting in front of her room insulting her from times to times to agitate her a little more. Only if no one could hear it of course, he wasn't suicidal, thank you very much, he had no intention of dying for his little comments towards the person who was to be married into the current Shogun family.
Kagura on the other hand wished nothing more than to have a bazooka given as her marriage present so she could fire it and shot the sadistic excuse of a policeman down. He pissed her off just by breathing the same air as she did. If only he'd mind his own business, she'd let it slide, she wouldn't as much as give a fuck about him, but this damned brat was actually sitting behind the door, "guarding" her from any suspicious people. He was the one most suspicious of all, for God's sake! Why no one understood it. She could be killed in her sleep by this sadist and no one would even know about it! No guard would help her, because the one doing the deed would be the fucking guard himself! But the threat of death wasn't the worst, she was a Yato after all, she would be just fine and if he attacked her he would be the one regretting it. The worst were his annoying comments making her want to rip his head off and tear him into thousands of pieces. Right now she was nobly ignoring his taunts being determined not to throw a tantrum as this would only make him happier. She would show him just as mature she could get and not react to any of his bratty provocations.
But it was kind of hard when she sat in her room, able to hear his irritating whispers insulting her and stuff. "Oi princess, how are you? Have you seen your fiancé already? But no worries you'll surely match each other, heard he's big, fat and ugly. But I don't think he could be compared to you anyway because his boobs are probably fat too in contradiction to yours~" and with that the line was crossed.
Kagura burst out of the room, all red from anger. "Oi you, what do you think you're doing, huh~?!" she screamed lifting him by the collar "Do you have a death wish, if so I'll gladly grant it"
"No way China" he said sliding his eyes to side "But if you want to play a godmother you can grant some other wishes of mine"
"Huh?" she blinked with her mouth slightly agape, what fuck was wrong with him, like hell she'd do anything for him
"Like shutting this ugly face of yours because your breath stinks" he completed his statement
"You fucking-" she stopped midsentence as she'd seen some movement with the corner of her eye. The man with curly white hair and dead fish eyes quickly skimmed over to the other side of the corridor as soon as he noticed he'd been spotted and then started running away
"Oi you perm head, stop right there!" she screamed and instantly went after him freeing Sougo from her grasp. What if some servant just saw her yelling at that idiot of a guard? No way! She needed to quiet him down before he could tell anyone about it! Her reputation was at stake! Mami had always told her to be gentle and ladylike and she was trying so hard to do it, but how was she supposed to do this with this sadistic brat around pissing the hell out of her?!
"Oiii!" She screamed catching up to the run-away-guy "Did you see it?!' she asked with her most intimidating face "Answer now you perm head!"
Sougo was left dumbfounded in the middle of the corridor not quite knowing what to do. He felt a little unnerved with the princess leaving him like that. He might've been acting like a spoiled brat whose favorite toy was taken away, but could you blame him? After all the effort he put into thinking up all those taunts, waiting for her, to break down and finally burst with anger, she ditched him like that? Just like that? What the fuck was with this?!
Grumbling under his breath, he started walking, not quite knowing, where he was headed. What was wrong with this China bitch of a princess? He reminisced thinking about this idiotic situation, And was that Danna, she went after so quickly? Were his eyes deceiving him that he was ditched for this perm-haired lazy bum. And what was he even doing there to begin with? He wasn't one of the palace servants, he should be in his office slacking off as he always did. Was this one of his odd jobs? What a joke! And this China bitch just ran after him like that! Wasn't he the one she was fighting with?
This whole situation tickled him off a little more than he'd expected. In fact his anger was completely unreasonable as it was, but he was the prince of sadists, after all, so why did he need any reason for this sudden pang of killing intent towards Danna?
Stupid Danna, stupid princess, what the fuck was wrong with them?!
Meanwhile Kagura was sitting on a bench with the lazy samurai telling her another story about one of his odd jobs. She'd instantly taken a liking to him, a thing that was equally ambiguous and amazing. Skata Gintoki was a sorry excuse of an adult, always losing in pachinko, with diabetes and poor immunity to alcohol, reading Jump while he should be working. But in spite of all his flaws he kind of reminded her of how the father should be, caring and fun to be with. It was only about an hour or so, since the two of them met, but Kagura could already tell that she definitely liked this person.
Even if at the beginning he tried really hard to get rid of her and when he heard she was a princess he suddenly started stuttering and apologizing while mumbling something incoherent, after some time the conversation naturally started to build itself and went smoothly from that time on. Courtesy of Kagura's "charm" and persistence.
"Gin-chan?" she asked suddenly, interrupting his another story, about how he'd saved the world from the total extinction, together with Poku and Hegeta "Have you seen the guy I'm going to marry?" she asked uncertainly; in the end she still hadn't met him.
"Huh~? You're getting married?" he sighed "That's no good a girl your age is way too young for such a thing"
"I am the princess, Gin-chan" she said "That's the reason why I have to be here in the first place. But I haven't even seen my fiancé, yet... Stupid brother and stupid papi making me do things like that." she grumbled, pouting a little
"Ho, so it's like that" he said scratching his head "Eh, I don't wanna get into your royal problems, but you know, there's nothing really you can do about it, right? Why not just make the best of what you got? There are lots of pros from being a royal family"
"Like what?" she said gloomily, immersed in the thoughts about her brother that sent her to this place like he didn't care about what happened to her at all
"For one, you can eat whatever you want" he said "and you don't have to worry about the rent and crazy old hags, hunting you down each month, you forget to pay it… It's not my fault that he gods of gambling hate me so much!" he screamed to the skies
"Gin-chan, that's just your addiction to pachinko, don't mingle it with my situation" she deadpanned "Besides what if the only ham I'll get in this place will by my husband of a ham?" she asked frantically "What if he's ugly and fat?!"
"Kagura sometimes you have to sacrifice your own happiness for the sake of other people" he said philosophically "And ham of a husband isn't that bad party, he'll warm you up in a cold rainy days and if there's no food a ham is always a ham, isn't it?"
"You're disgusting me Gin-chan" she said "I don-"
"Yo, Danna!" she was suddenly cut off by a monotone voice calling from their right
"Oh, Soichirou-kun, what business might you have with me today?" Gintoki asked sweat-dropping a little when he'd seen the young shinsengumi captain "I swear this time it wasn't me! You have the wrong man!" he hurriedly added
"Danna, it's Sougo and I'm not here to arrest you" the man answered
"T-then, what makes you come here?" the white-haired samurai asked a little unsure
"She" he answered pointing a finger at Kagura "It's no good to run away princess" he said strangling her face "What would we do if you were kidnapped and taken as a hostage, or maybe even killed by some sadists? That would be no good~"
"You're the only sadist in here!" she screamed, breaking away from his grasp "and stop faking this concern in your voice, it makes me wanna puke!" she added while throwing a punch at him
" You've hurt the poor policeman's heart" he said in his usual monotone voice, dodging her fist "I'm simply doing my job, China"
"Doing a job my ass!" she screeched, avoiding his kick "You must really like me, since you're always appearing out of nowhere, are you a stalker? Huh? Stalker sadist?"
"Who would want to be your stalker?" he asked, making a face of disgust, while blocking another one of her blows "But you can dream on, China"
"Eww, no way Sadist!" she grimaced, while finally managing to land a hit on him
Gintoki, on the other hand, stood there numbly, long forgotten by the two hostile individuals, looking at the ensuing fight and considering his options. For one crazy moment he thought about stopping the fight, but upon seeing, or rather not seeing their movements, because of the speed, he decided it was a bad idea, so being the usual lazy samurai he was, he ran away when he thought nobody looked, leaving the two teens immersed in their own world of violence. It wasn't his business what they did with their lives and he didn't exactly feel the need to entangle himself in some royal affairs. Witnessing the princess flirting with one of those tax-robbers wasn't exactly high on his to-do list and he'd rather not have his life endangered by their little show of affection. Because if they didn't accidentally kill him while fighting then shogun's executioner would be sure to do so, with them next in the line. So he'd just pretend he saw nothing and would find a time machine. Just in case.
Left alone, Kagura and Sougo had no idea what the perm-haired samurai, thought about their brawl. Shinsengumi captain, if asked, would tell you that he was only doing his job as a royal guard in this palace, bringing the lost princess to her room, the term of 'flirting' wouldn't even go through his head. As for Kagura, she would simply tell you that he was the one who started the fight so she was only acting in self-defense, it wasn't her fault that this bastard was always annoying her and picking a fight with her.
A/N: Okay I think it was a little rushed and crappy at the ending but since I couldn't come up with anything better... well, I kinda lost passion for this story but if you still liked it I'll try to muster up my enthusiasm and write sth better next time! ^^