Not my best chapter, I really struggled with writing it. The good stuff is coming though. I have big plans for the next couple of chapters. Hope to have the next one up by next week. Please review if you liked it or if you think there's anything I can do better.
Amanda Rollins wakes up in Olivia's arms for a second time, though this time different from the first. They had changed positions during the night and the blond finds herself with her face buried in the neck of the brunette her leg thrown over Olivia's. She pops her head up to look at Liv seeing if she's awake. "Good morning Manda" Olivia says looking over at the blonde and mustering a smile. Amanda can tell she had been miles away moments before thinking about Lewis and what had happened the day before.
"Good morning Liv" Her voice thick with sleep, and her southern accent stronger. The blonde moves her face closer, wanting to kiss the brunette, but worried about being the one to make the first move. She knows she has to be careful with Olivia and she is terrified about triggering her. The trauma with Lewis having resurfaced, it's all so fresh again. So, she waits for the older woman to complete the kiss and she does. Leaning in pressing a brief but deep kiss on to Amanda's lips. She pulls back and smiles at the detective. Her face clouds over, like she's remembering everything that has happened, everything with Lewis. The confession she made on television, and all the repercussions that might have "I have to get up and get ready for my meeting with IAB." Olivia's muscles tense, her posture is uncomfortable, and she is doing her best to extract herself from Amanda's arms, trying to bolt.
"It's all gonna be okay, baby. Everyone knows Lewis shot himself. Go in there and tell the truth. This will all be over soon." She says, not wanting to grab Olivia's arm to hold her in place, figuring that would not be the best thing to do.
"I hope so, but you know how Tucker and IAB are. They're gonna do their best to pin this on me and what I confessed to doing to Lewis on TV." Olivia gets upset, her eyes watering, she's doing her best not to cry.
"Liv, do me a favor. Don't go in there without a lawyer or representative. Please. It'll make me feel better and it'll be better for you. Who knows what Tucker will do." Amanda says reaching up to cup her cheek, wiping a tear that has fallen.
"Call me when you're done please." Amanda says on her way out the door. Olivia had walked out into the living room where she had been waiting
"I will." Olivia says grabbing the blonde's hand and giving it a squeeze, leaning into peck her on the lips to say goodbye.
Amanda walks out the door. As soon as she's on the street, she picks up her phone to call Rita Calhoun and asks her to represent Olivia. She agrees to in a heartbeat and Amanda hopes Olivia won't be too mad at her when she finds out.
Olivia does her interview with IAB that is until Calhoun comes in and demands they end it, stopping her and getting her to walk out of the room. The brunette is talking to Rita outside about the case when she sees Amanda. Her emotions towards the blonde are mixed. As she walks up to her, she can't help but be a little pissed off at her, but she knows Amanda is just trying to protect her. While the protection isn't needed, it's nice to have someone take such good care of her.
"I'm sorry Olivia and I know you said you didn't want a lawyer. But I didn't think it would be good for you to go in there and I'm just worried about you and what would happen today. I know I shouldn't have called Rita without asking you and..."
"Amanda," Olivia says cutting off her rambling apology. "I'm not mad at you." Reaching up a hand to cup her cheek, trying to be discreet not knowing who is watching them. "Thank you, Amanda. This whole thing is more serious than I thought. Thank you for looking out for me."
"Why what happened? What did they say in there?" Amanda is worried. She called Rita because she wanted to be safe, not thinking Olivia would have to worry about getting in trouble.
"Rita doesn't think this is as open and shut as we do." Liv is tense, her posture is rigid, and the blonde knows she needs to get her out of here.
"Let's go back to my apartment, relax." Amanda says, reaching up to rest her hand on Olivia's shoulder. "Are you hungry? Have you eaten today?"
"No, I'm not hungry, I haven't been hungry."
"You have to eat. I'm taking you back to my apartment and then we're going to order something. We're gonna watch some funny movies and I will do my best to keep your mind off of everything is going on. No matter what happens Liv, I'm on your side. Baby, I will always be on your side." The two women walk off, Amanda reaching her hand down to grab Olivia's intertwining their fingers as they walk towards Amanda's truck to drive to the blonde's apartment. Where Amanda is successful in getting Olivia to eat some Chinese food and they spend the time learning more about each other. Amanda is trying her best to get Olivia to laugh, and she few times she does. Her laughter is like music to her ears, she loves that sound.
With Amanda, Olivia can let go and she can forget. She hasn't felt like this for someone since maybe Alex Cabot, but that relationship was never meant to go anywhere. She knows though, this relationship can. It's only been a day, but Amanda lights a fire in her she assumed would forever be dormant. The older woman had given up on thoughts a happily ever after, a life with a person she loves and a few kids, but now she can see it again. She wants all of it with the blonde sitting beside her.
The next few days are stressful. Olivia has another interview with IAB does not go her way. Tucker is convinced she shot Lewis. Even worse Melinda can't confirm beyond a reasonable doubt that Lewis committed suicide. Amanda has her own interview with IAB and she knows she can't lie to protect Olivia as much as she wants to. All it will do is hurt her in the long run, it'll be even worse if it somehow comes out that they're dating. It is killing her that she can't do more for Liv. It isn't fair that Olivia has to go through all this. She's the victim not Lewis.
Later that night, both women are in Olivia's apartment discussing the case and Amanda is trying to convince Olivia to admit to justifiable homicide, something the brunette is not happy about. It's what IAB is asking her to do and for once the detective agrees with them. "I'm not admitting to something I didn't do. Lewis shot himself. What you don't believe me either?" Olivia yells at her girlfriend. Her anger isn't justified, Amanda believes her, she doesn't have a reason to doubt that.
"I believe you. I want this all to be over. They could bring this to trial and I don't want you to have to go through that. Olivia, I know you're not lying, but if IAB thinks you are maybe it's just best go with that story. This can all be over right now" Amanda replies not allowing herself to rise to Olivia's volume. Reinforcing that she does not doubt her story. She understands the brunette's anger, but she is trying her best to protect her. Amanda feels like she already failed her twice. The detective let Lewis get to her twice and she will not let him ruin Olivia's life. Not if she can help it. She won't fail to protect her again. "Olivia it's your choice. Go with your instincts. I'll support you, whatever decision you make Let's not fight anymore, okay." Amanda walks over putting her forehead against Liv's, grabbing her face and leaning in to peck her, knowing Olivia isn't ready for more than that right now. But having learned that the older woman is okay with brief kisses like that one. "I'm just so scared for you." The detective says her voice thick with emotion. Her southern accent becoming more prominent.
"I'm gonna be okay. I told the truth and I don't care if they believe me. Lying didn't work for me last time and I'm not going to do it again. I need you to trust me on this."
"I do Liv."
Olivia goes to IAB the next day and refuses to admit to justifiable homicide and for a few hours the squad thinks it's all over. Until Murphy shows up and tells them they are pursuing charges against Olivia and Olivia will have to go before the grand jury. Fin and Amaro clear out of Oliva's apartment after hearing the news, the sergeant telling them she would like to be alone. Amanda lingers thought waiting for the guys to leave, hoping Olivia doesn't want her to leave to. As soon as she closes the door behind the two men, Olivia walks right over to Amanda and collapses into her, crying. Amanda doesn't know what to say. She's never seen the brunette this upset. This is the worst outcome. Amanda does her best to calm her. The detective whispers words of comfort into her ear as they slide to the floor. Amanda pulls her into her lap and rocks Olivia back and forth. She knows the older woman was trying her best to be so strong this entire time and maybe it's good she is getting this all out. So, the younger woman lets her cry, shedding a few tears herself. This goes on for 20 minutes, a half an hour before renews her attempts to calm the sergeant's tears. Olivia was crying so hard, she was having trouble breathing, gasping and gagging. "Liv, honey, you gotta calm down. You're gonna make yourself sick. I know this sucks. It fucking sucks, but you need to keep yourself calm. C'mon baby let's relax, breathe with me, baby." Amanda guides her through a breathing exercise and her breathing evens out, her head coming to rest against Amanda's black blouse. Olivia had cried herself into a state of exhaustion. "Let's go to bed Olivia, it's late and we can't sleep on the floor. Why don't you go get ready to bed? I'm going to call my neighbor and ask her to walk Frannie and I'll meet you there."
Olivia still hasn't said anything, but she stands and then helps the blonde to her feet. Pulling her into one last hug before leaning into kiss her girlfriend, leaving a lingering kiss on her lips. "Just come to bed soon. I sleep better when you lay with me."
"I'll be right in, just give me 10 minutes."
A few days later, the grand jury convenes, and Amanda is a nervous wreck. She is doing her best to keep Olivia distracted from everything that is going on, but that's easier said than done. They're at a restaurant with the squad waiting to hear how Warner's testimony went. These are the hardest moments Amanda. When they are around everyone and she has to keep her distance from the older woman. Not being able to hug and kiss her, hold her hand is difficult for her. It's only been a few weeks since all this started, since her first honest conversation with Olivia, but she's falling hard for her. She cares so deeply for this woman and it's killing her to see her going through all this. Amanda wants to kill the ADA who is putting Olivia through this, but her anger will not help the situation. Fin comes in and tells them that Warner's testimony didn't go the way they wanted it to and she deflates. It keeps getting worse and worse.
The days go by and the testimonies continue. Olivia does her best to be brave in public, but most night have seen a lot tears in the younger woman's arms. Amelia testifies, and she hates that the little girl has to do this after everything she's been through. That her coerced, televised confession will now be used during the trial doesn't make the situation any better. She knows beating Lewis was wrong, she snapped, couldn't help herself. He had her for 4 days, did awful things to her. When she could get the upper hand, her hatred for him took over, Olivia wanted him to be in as much pain she was in.
Her saving grace comes through Murphy, who lies for her. He tells everyone he was the one who told Olivia to make that confession, and they drop the charges. The relief that both women feel cannot be described in words. A weight has been lifted off their shoulders and now maybe they can focus on each other.
Olivia ends up at the morgue wanting to see Lewis's body one last time. Get that image into her mind that Lewis is dead, he's not coming back this time. As she exits the room, she spots her girlfriend, waiting for her. Somehow knowing this is where the brunette would end up. "Ready to go home?" Amanda says resting her hand on Olivia's lower back, guiding her out of the room. When they get back to Amanda's apartment that night, they sit and hug each other, relishing in the closeness, finding they need to be as close as possible. Helping to reassure each other it's over, it's finally over. Olivia is ready to put all this behind her. Wanting to focus on exploring this new relationship, the future she wants with her. She sees it all a wedding, a couple of kids, the house with a yard. A couple of months ago her fate looked so bleak to her, she was struggling so much, and she knows this will not be an easy road. But, Olivia knows she can do it with Amanda by her side. Before all that happens, she'd like to take the blonde on a real date and start their relationship.