Malec Oneshots & Songfics Chapter 4: Your Face, a mortal instruments fanfic

A/N: I am SO SO SO sorry for not updating yesterday, even though i promised! You can punish me now... But here it finally is, and I may even update again later today ;)

And in the last update I forgot to thank cazinsdale for beta-reading, so double thanks this time! And thanks for just writing with me, help me figure the mystery about comma's in English out (which was A LOT easier than I thought... nothing like it is in Danish)and just all the little comments after reading my stuff through so I can get even better :)

I really love all your reviews and requests! Right now I got three/four on my list, but I always need some more :)

I do not own these characters or the lyrics! (Note that the line 'Cause yes I'm scared of what love, gave me and took away I have changed. the original was 'Cause I'm not scared of what love, gave me and took away. The line And I still wanna turn around I've also changed from And I don't wanna turn around)

Your Face(unreleased song by Taylor Swift)

I heard a song tonight on the radio
Another girl sings about a boy
Just sees his face in every space in every room
And I know that if I turn around you won't be there
If I close my eyes will you be there?

Nothing. Still nothing. After all those years.

Every morning Magnus still woke up, and expected someone to lie beside him. But no. He was alone. Even Chairman Meow was gone. All that was left from an ancient time was the Institute cat Church, the daylighter- Simon something. Or was it Sheldon? – And himself. None was left, except them. And they were the only three left to remember the others. Sometimes Magnus would even spend his evening with the vampire, talking about the good times.

I don't wanna lose your face
I don't wanna wake up one day and not remember what time erased
And I still wanna turn around
'Cause, yes, I'm scared of what love gave me and took away
And I don't wanna lose your face

He got up. It was time to face yet another day. As yesterday, and as tomorrow, he tried to remember. He tried to recall his name on his lips, tried to recall the blue shade of his eyes. It was only just possible. Magnus knew time was washing the memory away. Time always did that; there was no way to stop it. That's why he, every morning, tried to recall the last love of his life.

I've got a picture of you in my bedroom
I hope it never falls
I hope I never lose that feeling, I used to get when you called, (would call?)
And now I wonder to myself
Who were you? Where are you?
Were you ever here at all?

With only an old pair of pants on, Magnus went to get himself a cup of coffee. Even the high warlock of Brooklyn needed that sometimes. He had considered moving, but then decided not to. It was easier to remember things if you were where they had happened.

His gaze caught an old picture frame on a drawer. It was turned around, the photo against the wall. Sometimes he couldn't bear to look at it.

After a long time, he walked over and turned it. The photo was faded, but Magnus had looked at it so many times it didn't matter.

The sun was burning. Everybody was trying to avoid the Egyptian heat. Except two boys who stood a little outside the tourist group. What the others didn't know was that one of them had used a spell to keep away the heat. They were leaning into each other, the way couples seemed to do.

"It'll be the last," Magnus said. "I promise."

"Okay. But it better not be a picture of my ass," Alec mumbled. Magnus flashed his white teeth and bent in to kiss his boyfriend. Alec made a sound at the back of his throat, and kissed back. Magnus felt a hand at the hem of his pants. Before it got any further he pulled away.

"Picture first, Alexander!" he proclaimed and Alec sighed. He knew Alec didn't like taking pictures that much. It was part of the fun. And taking pictures of him from behind... That was part of the fun too.

Magnus slung his arm around Alec, who turned his back to the pyramids.

"Smile!" And so they did.

Magnus put the picture frame down; still with the photo against the wall. Today wasn't a day he could bear look at it.

Everything had happened in such a rush. Much of what happened back then was just a blur to him, like much else in his long life. All Magnus hoped was to never lose his face. Never wake up to realize he couldn't see those blue eyes in his mind.

Even if it came to a point were only the bad memories where left, he still didn't want to lose them, because love had given him a chance. But he had turned it down.

That girl in the song had it so good
I wish I could close my eyes and see you
I wish the sky had your face
And the oceans had your eyes
And the sunset had your lips
And I had you

The sun hadn't been up long. Magnus liked to get up early and do something all day. Then he was too tired to have depressing thoughts at night.

The air was fresh and cool, just the way he liked it. Walking the way from his flat in Brooklyn to the New York Institute always made him want to turn around.

One time, he couldn't help but look into Alec's old room. Only to discover, it wasn't what he'd expected. Now it was just exactly like any other unused room at the Institute. Nothing was left.

But he had a contract with the Clave, and now they needed assistance. So there was no way he could turn around now.

The sky turned blue now. The sunset was over. Alec liked sunsets, he remembered. He had said that once. It was one of the few memories that were still completely clear to him. He had made a portal to take them away. Together they had walked the streets of London and, ironically, Alec had stopped on Blackfriars Bridge. Just at the moment where a brown haired girl with a serious face and a boy who looked like had had some Asian roots, turned away from each other. But only Magnus saw them. Alec probably didn't think someone would use glamour here; otherwise he would've seen it too.

The girl gave Magnus an astonished look, but didn't say anything. He returned the surprised look. He really hadn't expected to see those two here.

But soon enough Alec drove Magnus' attention to him again, and the girl disappeared. Already in that moment Magnus knew they wouldn't be together forever. He'd always just tried to avoid thinking of it, but right there, fear had a hook in him. So to be reminded that it was real, Alec was there, he grabbed the boy and pressed his lips against his boyfriend's. Alec was too surprised by the force of the kiss to do anything at first. But when Magnus cupped his face in his hands, he woke up.

Magnus sighed. How he wished Alec were there to hold his hand.

Oh no no
I don't wanna lose your face
I don't wanna turn around
Oh oh yeah
Oh oh oh oh yeah

Finally. Magnus could finally lay down to rest, after a long day of meetings. But a long day of meetings didn't make him tired.

So his mind began to spin. Spin around one particular day, Magnus would remember forever.

It was a day carved in stone, to be remembered forever.

It had been a sunny day. One people would go outside and have fun in. But for Magnus and the others at the Institute it wasn't fun.

Though their enemy was gone, Jace didn't burst into flames when he touched someone, it wasn't a fun day. They should be celebrating! They should be celebrating that Sebastian finally was gone. But so was Alec.

On the doorstep to the Institute, Isabelle even accused it of being his fault. Then she began to cry again and apologized. But Magnus hadn't needed an apology. Because he even blamed himself.

If he hadn't walked away from Alec that night, he would've been part of the battle. He would've been a part of it, and would've killed Sebastian himself before he could even touch a single hair on Alec's head.

Lying in his bed, Magnus listened to the silent sound of loneliness. A normal person would feel grief, sadness, maybe anger. But he didn't feel anything at all. When Alec had gone away, he had taken Magnus' heart with him and the hole that left grew bigger and bigger for each day, till there wasn't anything of Magnus left.

Sometimes he thought of why he hadn't just become mortal, why he had made such a big deal out of it. Then he could've stayed with Alec, protected him, and wouldn't have face all the ages of this world alone.

Sometimes Magnus even wondered it it was worth it. Was it worth living life, when you didn't want to?

But he knew Alexander would've hated him for giving up so easily. And that was what kept him on his feet.

A/N: Please note that I've never been on Blackfriars Bridge, so I have no idea of the view from there :)

And please leave a review and tell me what you think, good or bad! And if you got any good songs or ideas for oneshots you are very welcome to leave those too ;)

Thanks so much for reading!