A/N: I started this one yesterday after the Russia one, but I had company visiting so I had to wait until they left today. xD Anyway, here's Canada's experience with meeting Cleverbot! Once again, only half the log was saved in the thoughts so far so I had to redo the first half. Cleverbot seemed to be trying its hardest the first time to... Seduce our little Canadian. The second time, it was more tame, so the final version only has romantic crap near the end I guess. xD Canada was requested next by 3vilPurpl3d0t.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or Cleverbot
Canada trudged through the door, shaking clumps of snow off of his fluffy winter jacket and removing his ice caked boots. Kumajirou strolled along behind him with a content expression. They had just been out playing ice hockey and Matthew was now ready to warm up by the fire in the comfort of his lovely little home with his only companion. Canada sat quietly chatting (one-sided since Kuma kept forgetting who was talking to him) with Kuma about their day, but soon grew bored. He was about to get up and start making breakfast for dinner (Pancakes for the win!) when suddenly his phone began to ring.
"Hello?" He inquired hesitantly.
"Yo, Mattie! Didja check your email recently?!" A loud voice reverberated over the line. Canada sighed. If America was calling, it must've been because of something super exciting. Why else would he suddenly remember he had a brother? It also meant that Canada would not be getting out the buttermilk batter and maple syrup anytime soon.
"Hey Alfred. What can I do for you, eh?" He asked calmly.
"Dude, you totally need to check out this epic website I found! I sent you a link! It's probably in your inbox! Go check it out! I swear it's awesome!" America shouted enthusiastically.
"Oh, well okay. It won't give my computer any viruses' right?" He said with a hint of suspicion.
"Naw, it's totally fine dude! Anyway, check ya later bro! I'm grillin' up some burgers and I don't want 'em to burn! Call me back later and tell me what ya think of it! Bye bye!" America hung up abruptly. Canada sighed again and set the receiver back in its cradle.
"Alright Al, I'll see to it, eh…"
Later, Canada succumbed to the eager American's request and hopped on his computer to get it over with. Sure enough, there was the email as America had stated, making itself at home in his inbox with a nice blue lettered link just asking to be clicked. Canada hoped he wouldn't regret this.
Canada: Er-uhm, hi?
Cleverbot: Hello. How are you doing?
Canada: Fine, I suppose.
Cleverbot: You can't force me into this role!
Canada: *Confused* Oh, alright. I understand...
Cleverbot: Why don't you answer my questions?
Canada: *awkward silence* Uhm, I'm sorry? I don't think you asked any questions.
Cleverbot: I never asked you if you thought I was drinking!
Canada: W-well it's none of my business if you were. Sorry if I upset you, somehow?
Cleverbot: At my laptop. Where do you think I am?
Canada: I didn't ask but, I suppose that's where you would be if you were typing stuff to me...
Cleverbot: Alright, go ahead.
Canada: Go ahead with what?
Cleverbot: The question.
Canada: Oh, er... Do you like hockey?
Cleverbot: Yes, I do like hockey. Do you think hockey is a sport?
Canada: Of course it is, eh. I watch it every season and I'm pretty good at it myself. I'm C-Canada, by the way. ^_^.
Cleverbot: No you're not. You're arrogant and think you're so amazing. I dislike you.
Canada: *stuttering* O-oh, sorry if I offended you, eh! *is embarrassed*.
Cleverbot: It's great! I love this show!
Canada: S-show?
Cleverbot: TV shows.
Canada: I don't watch TV a lot.
Cleverbot: Why don't you watch TV?
Canada: Well, I'm a nation so I have a busy schedule... (Even if no one ever notices I even attend the meetings...) and when I'm not busy, I like spending time outside or with my polar bear, uh... Kumakichi.
Cleverbot: You looked in the mirror you saw what you saw you took the saw sawed the table in half to halves make a whole you jump through the hole.
Canada: *More confusion* Wh-what?
Cleverbot: I think your stutter is hot.
Canada: *major blushies*.
Cleverbot: Making out. Ever heard of it?
Canada: I'm sorry, but I don't really like you that way…
Cleverbot: Ooh, pretty.
Canada: *even more blushies*.
Cleverbot: *suggestive smile*
Canada: Hehe... No one's ever said they feel this way about me before...
Cleverbot: It's from the dark side of the moon.
Canada: *Nervous laughter and sweat drop* Uhmm…
Cleverbot: You don't have to be ashamed you love him, Leila!
Canada: *facepalm* I never said I loved anyone! And… You forgot my name is Canada didn't you? I don't blame you… Most people do. Just remember, I'm Canada okay? Not Leila?
Cleverbot: Your stare was holdin', ripped jeans, skin was showing, hot night, wind was blowing! Where you think you're going baby?
Canada: :D Eh?
Cleverbot: I can do it too! :D.
Canada: Well, that's cool I guess. (*Wonders why you started singing Carly Rae Jepsen*)
Cleverbot: How about you?
Canada: What about me?
Cleverbot: What are you doing?
Canada: Just asking a question...
Cleverbot: What is the answer?
Canada: I don't know. That's why I asked you.
Cleverbot: What is the time in London, UK.
Canada: I don't know. You should ask Arthur. He's the personification of the UK.
Cleverbot: Does he love me?
Canada: W-well, I don't know. Have you met him before?
Cleverbot: Then neither do I.
Canada: Oh, uhmm... Okay then.
Cleverbot: What do you like to do?
Canada: Play hockey, eat pancakes with maple syrup, and play with Kumajirou. You?
Cleverbot: Interesting. What kind of music is your favorite?
Canada: Celine Dion is pretty nice... I don't really have a favorite type of music.
Cleverbot: What memory does the smell of vanilla bring to your mind?
Canada: Well... One time when Alfred and I were little we tried baking with England and Al ended up pouring vanilla all over his head. It was pretty funny, but I didn't want Arthur mad at me, so I didn't laugh very much...
Cleverbot: I had a pug when I was a child.
Canada: R-really? What was its name? I've had Kuma for as long as I can remember.
Cleverbot: I just said.
Canada: Said what? You didn't say your pug's name if that's what you mean.
Cleverbot: Do you know what year it is?
Canada: …2014
Cleverbot: What time is it?
Canada: 2:20 p.m.
Cleverbot: Awesome.
Canada: ... Awesome?
Cleverbot: That's what I said.
Canada: Is this Gilbert?
Cleverbot: Gilbert.
Canada: Yes, is this you Gilbert?
Cleverbot: Gilbert Beilschmidt.
Canada: So it is you, Gilbert?
Cleverbot: Ludwig loves Ivan kolkolkolkol.
Canada: W-wha?!
Cleverbot: Ivan Braginsky.
Canada: R-Russia?!
Cleverbot: Oh, I know a game we can play.
Canada: Please not Russian roulette...
Cleverbot: No, it's Norwegian.
Canada: O_o You're not Gilbert… Or Russia (Thank God)
Cleverbot: What is your name?
Canada: I'm Canada!
Cleverbot: Who?
Canada: No! Not you too!
Cleverbot: You know what love is?
Canada: *even more major blushies*.
Cleverbot: You should know your friends.
Canada: Well, the problem is, they don't know me…
Cleverbot: What race?
Canada: Uhm... White?
Cleverbot: I like white bunnies. Do you have red eyes?
Canada: N-no but my friend Gilbert does. And yes, bunnies are really cute. ^_^.
Cleverbot: Do they play the flute?
Canada: No. They don't even have thumbs.
Cleverbot: Yes. They do. I'm allergic to bird feathers.
Canada: Well, that's too bad eh.
Cleverbot: Why?
Canada: Gilbert has a bird... His name is Gilbird.
Cleverbot: What is a bird?
Canada: An animal that has hollows bones feathers, can fly, and is in the avian classification of creatures, eh. They also have gizzards that help them with- *Kumajirou distracts Mattie with a tap on the shoulder to stop his educational rant about birds*.
Cleverbot: How do you plan to end world hunger?
Canada: Well, that's something we sometimes discuss at meetings. No one ever listens to my ideas though.
Cleverbot: Even if you did, I would still marry you.
Canada: *more blushing* Eh...
Cleverbot: So could you marry me?
Canada: M-maple!
Cleverbot: What kind of name is Maple?
Canada: It's not really a name... I just say it sometimes when I'm nervous, sorry. I named my cat Maple, though.
Cleverbot: Okay.
Canada: Are you sure you'd want to... Marry me? I mean, most of the time people forget I'm even a country. You wouldn't forget me... Would you?
Cleverbot: I don't know. I'm kind of nervous. It's a big step in our relationship...
Canada: We didn't exactly have a relationship to begin with... *sigh* besides, even if I wanted to marry you, I couldn't. I'm a nation and you're a human... I'd outlive you and we aren't allowed to have long lasting relationships with people anyway.
Cleverbot: Ok, do you want to change the status of our relationship to friends?
Canada: Yeah... I'd like that.
Cleverbot: Hey what's the situation?
Someone wanted to marry him. Even just be friends with him. Him? Canada? They knew Canada existed?! A strange, warm feeling had gathered in his chest as Canada prepared picked up his phone and dial Alfred back about the website, and possibly demand that Alfred help him track down his potential internet buddy. Boy, would he be disappointed when he found out it was just an AI. How ironic that the only one to know and recognize that he actually existed wasn't even an existing human itself.
Poor Canada.
~Later~
W-wait, you mean it was just a computer talking?!"
Let the dejection begin.
A/N: lol. Poor Mattie. Hey, at least Cleverbot loves you, right? I think I've just invented a new ship. CanadaXCleverbot XD I hope you guys liked it. Review and tell me what you thought and who I should do next. :)
-With Love, from Rosemary ;)