So I have quite a bit more that I want to post to this story, but I'm unsure if I should. Is it seeming repetitive to you guys? Is there anything you'd like to see that I might be missing? I just haven't gotten much feedback so I'm unsure.

This part deals with Dean's drinking problems that he obviously had during the 4th and 5th season. I felt it needed to be addressed.

Dean had stopped drinking yesterday and Sam had thought it best to for him to go through his withdrawal somewhere out in the open, with no one around and where he could get fresh air.

"You know this is the complete opposite of what I made you go through right?" Dean asked him through his tremors in the little tent they had bought. They were out in the middle of nowhere in some un-named forest.

"Yeah. And I know my experience was just terrible. So I wanted to try and make it better for you." Sam was sitting at Dean's side, as if on lookout. He slept a lot less these days because apparently Sammy's didn't get as tired as humans did.

"What was the worst part of being in the panic room?" One of Dean's withdrawal symptoms seemed to be asking personal questions. Sam didn't seem to mind, thank goodness.

"Well, I hated being tied down. I know you think I would have hurt myself, but I don't think I was coherent enough to do that even. I also hated being stuck in such a small, dark place. I felt like I was suffocating. But the worst part was having to deal with all that by myself." He answered, looking down at Dean from his one eye and then looking away.

Dean blinked up as his brother, following the trace of Sam's long scar and the red skin around his blind eye. Sam had just begun to take off his eye patch around Dean. It was a sign of trust, and Dean locking Sam in that panic room had been the exact opposite.

"I'm sorry Sammy. Fuck, I'm so sorry." Crap now the tears were getting to him. Stupid withdrawal shit.

But Sam just smiled at him, wiped the tears from Dean's eyes with his ruined hand, held onto him with the other. "Dude, you don't need to be apologizing. If anyone should it would be me. I've done things a hell of a lot worse to you."

Dean snorted. "Yeah, you were bad. But when I think about it, we were pretty much equal with our crappiness."

Sam held onto Dean harder as he shivered again. "Dean...I choked you man. I could have killed you. Now how does that not top the shitty brother scale?"

"Oh yeah. That...I forgot."

"You forgot? How the hell could you forget something like that?"

"I dunno." Dean mumbled as he buried his head into Sam's lap, trying to calm his pounding head. "I just chalked it up to the fact that it was the demon blood. I was being pretty frustrating too that day. I mean you wanted me to come along and I didn't. Even though I knew something bad was gonna happen, I should have gone with you to at least try to stop it. We weren't communicating at all."

Sam could feel himself getting angry and he tried to not take it out on Dean. No, never again would he take his anger out of his brother. "That's no excuse though Dean. Demon blood or not, Ruby or not, you're my brother."

"Exactly. I'm your brother. This is why you stopped, no matter what the blood was telling you to do. I knew you wouldn't do it Sammy, although I was a bit scared."

Sam let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. "I was never going to. But you're right, that blood...when I was angry like that it was telling me to fight, to kill. I wouldn't ever let it take over like that but it was strong Dean. It was turning me into a completely different person."

"Tell me about it."

"I can't believe it took us this long to talk about this. What the hell is wrong with us?"

Dean chuckled. "A lot of things. But at least we're screwed up together right?"

"Yeah. And Dean? I'm sorry; I'll never do anything like that to you again. I promise you. And even though we suck at keeping promises, this one I'm gonna keep."

Dean smiled through the pain. "I know that Sammy. And for what it's worth...thanks. I needed that."

Sam nodded. After all of this talk he really needed a cigarette. "Hey, I'm going to go outside and smoke. I'll be right back okay?"

After Dean's nod Sam stepped into the warm summer night and snatched his cigarettes from the Impala. Holding the cigarette in his bad hand and the lighter in his good one, he lit the smoke and took one long drag. Looking up at the many stars, he held the smoke in his lungs for a while before releasing it into the midnight air. If his brother wasn't going through symptoms to rid himself of his alcoholism than a night like this would have been perfect.

Then Sam heard shuffling. He tensed only to see his brother stumbling over to him, long blanket wrapped around his body.

"Thought I'd join you out here." Dean said, his voice hoarse.

"You'll smell like smoke." Sam complained. He didn't want his brother to suffer from his habit, that's why Sam always smoked away from him for the most part.

"Do you think I really care about that? I still want to yank that cigarette out of your hand and throw it on the ground, but...

Sam looked down at him, cheeks flushing but he just shook his head. "Dean...after all we've been through...please don't tell me you're going to give me hell for simply smoking."

Dean leaned against the car next to him, a sign that he wasn't going to put up a fight. "But...it's bad for you." He said with a little smirk.

"Who knows if it even is? I mean, whatever I am now...it probably won't affect me."

"Right. Like with your eye and hand right?" Dean pressed the subject but everything in his body language and tired eyes showed he was teasing.

"Yeah well...I don't know. I just feel cold a lot. It's kind of weird, like my body doesn't know how to adjust to what I am. The smoking just makes me feel a lot warmer. It helps calm me too...all the thoughts that are going on in my head."

Dean nodded. "I can't say that I like it Sammy. But like I said to you before, you make your own decisions now. It's just I never thought you to be one to smoke...you know? Never thought you were the type, always thought I was more like that." Dean said, bumping Sam's shoulder.

"Yeah, well I think I'm more like you than either of us ever realized."

Dean nodded. "We're more similar than we ever gave each other credit for. In so many ways."

"Yeah." Sam took a drag of the cigarette. "Yeah. So...why did you come out here anyway? And give me the real reason.

Dean shrugged as he looked up at the sky. "I just wanted to look at the stars, it's a nice night."

Sam's throat closed up at that and suddenly he wasn't feeling the urge for nicotine anymore as he put out his cigarette on the ground. "Yeah, me too. How about we lay down?"

Sam could feel tears filling his eyes as Dean looked up at him. Watching the stars together was something they could always do together, even when they weren't on the best terms it was a way they could bond without speaking. When they could have peace and just be together in this chaotic world. And now that they finally had their peace and were basically worry-free, this favorite pastime just felt even greater.

"Your eyes just changed again." Dean pointed out as if he was commenting on the weather.

Sam was shocked, he hadn't felt anything different. Did he have any control over them changing? "Even my blind eye?"

"Yeah. It still has that milky white covering over it, but it changed too."

"Do they look creepy?" He asked his brother as they both lay down on the soft grass, staring up at the sky.

"Not at all. They actually look really fricken' awesome if you ask me."

"Then I'm glad."

Dean shifted closer to Sam and moved some of the blanket he had been wrapped up in so it covered his younger brother as well. Sam thought that might just be the second kindest gesture to ever come from his brother.

The first being that the whole time Dean was going through his symptoms, he kept one hand clenched tightly around his amulet.