CRY ON ME

HICCUP'S POV

I am so tired. I didn't sleep at all this night because I was building something really cool for my best friend. I think he will like it. I mean, honestly, it's the best gift I can ever gift him. I guess someone special deserves something special, huh?

"Haddock, I hope it's not my lesson that made you fall asleep!" suddenly says my English teacher. I startle as everyone laughs at me and I feel my face blush. Not of shame or embarrassment, but of rage and pain. Don't they have something else to do than mock me? Am I that interesting?

I force myself to answer Mildew. "Nothing's wrong with your class. I just didn't..."

But my professor cuts me before I can only explain myself. "One week of extra classes. Come here after school."

So freaking great. Gods I hate this high school, the students, and mostly this town full of false-asses. Finally, when I am no longer the center of attention, my eyes stay focused on the board, faking like I was listening to the lesson. Why didn't the teacher just let me talk? I wouldn't have got those extras lessons! This is so unfair. Plus, I am the one that maintains the average above 50%.

Anyway, it's no use. I know that everyone sees me only as a loser, so if they want me to be a failure, I'll be it. I wonder how would I be treated if they knew I have a bond with the Last Night Fury. Probably better, but I won't say my secret. It won't feel right towards Toothless – maybe he doesn't want to be known? Then why would he want to unite with me so bad? This is so complicated!

Finally, the dinner time rings and I walk to the cafeteria, my stomach growling hungrily. Gods, I remember I didn't eat yesterday, either this morning... And today, I have no money to buy myself some food. I guess today will be another day of hunger.

I turn away from the canteen and enter the library. It's as quiet as usual. I take a book on the first row and take a seat at the back of the room. I like when it's all silence and calm. My ears can finally stop burning and my body starts to relax.

When I think of Snotlout, I feel the exasperation grow in me. Did you ever have the urge to shut up someone even when they aren't talking? He mainly hangs out with Dagur – nicknamed the Deranged – and the twins – known for their explosive personalities. Literally explosive. Last week, they've hidden a stink bomb into Mildew's class. We've been forced to change rooms. They also are friends with Astrid and Heather, both girls practicing cheerleading.

You might think I'm a stalker, but I sometimes watch the cheerleaders doing their... backflips and shit – I don't even know how their figures are named. I would draw them and add the pictures in the secret pocket of my art bender. I know, I know, it looks creepy, but I like to immortalize the energy, youth, and beauty of things because I know they won't last long.

"Hey, loser. You tried to ditch us?"

Great. Snotlout found me. He is so desperate that he is ready to enter a library only to intimidate me! Should I feel honored for his attention? All those books must give him a headache, though. Too much knowledge for a such a small brain. Almost sad and pitiful. Almost.

I decide to ignore him – I would've liked too, but Snotlout's fist meeting my shoulder didn't let me. I groan in pain, but pack my things and hurry to the exit. I can't read and think alone and quietly, can I?

Unfortunately – I have the worst luck -, Ruffnut and Tuffnut – the explosive twins I was talking about earlier – are already there, blocking the door. Well, I'm screwed. The librarian has left the room for dinner, so I'm left alone with three of my worse bullies.

Nice.

Fucking awesome.

I really start to think that the Gods really hate me.

I enter Raven Point and struggle to stay on my foot, trying meanwhile to transport Toothless' gift without falling. Finally, I see my best friend staring at the late. I think he heard me, but doesn't want to face me. Yeah, with my swollen and bloody face, I wouldn't either. So, I walk towards him, drop the present of forgiveness and sit down. I then hide my expression behind my knees and wait.

All my body hurts and I'm sure my nose is broken and that my lips are totally split in two. I thought Snotlout and the clones were cruel, Gods I was wrong – they were worse. They've also blocked the lock so that even when if the librarian would come back, the boys could continue their torture.

Why? Why are they so mean to me? Why do they always hurt me? To be honest, I just want to close my eyes and never wake up. Sometimes, it's just too hard to handle. Sometimes, I just want to die and escape this heartbroken reality. I have my own weaknesses, nobody can judge me on my motivations, I'm telling you. It's been years that I'm being treated like that.

How long do I have to keep fighting until it's considered okay to give up?

Hiccup? What is it? asks the Night Fury. I freeze.

A gift.

For what? His voice is confused.

For your forgiveness. I shouldn't have reacted like I did yesterday, I explain through my crossed arms. I don't want to see Toothless's expression. I'm already sad and depressed. I'm sorry. I know it hurts you to know that I don't want to unite with you. I'm sorry. Don't cry, don't cry, god damn it, Hiccup, don't you dare fucking cry. And because of me, you can't fly on your own. So, I made you another tailfin so that it's possible.

I hear Toothless move, but I can't raise my face. I don't want to face him.

Really? Toothless seems indifferent about the news.

And that way if you want to leave for good, you can. Gods, shut up, you stupid mind!

Yeah. Aren't you happy?

No. I don't that tailfin, I just need my best friend! he almost yells. Good job, Hiccup, you just upset your only friend. Are you trying to buy my forgiveness with my lost liberty?

I am not! I exclaim and I raise my head to face him, unveiling my bloody nose and lips. I ignore his shocked expression. Do you really think I would do that?! I made that new tailfin because one day, I might won't be there anymore and you'll be stuck on the ground all alone! Don't you understand?!

The silence falls as Toothless and I glare in each other's eyes. I can't analyze his thoughts, but I know that he's thinking about my ugly injuries and my speech. Will he understand what it means? That by "I might won't be there anymore" I suggest that someday I may just give up on life? That the thought of him being unable to fly is killing me inside? Can't he understand that he represents all that I'm living for?

Who did that?

Nobody important, I say turning away and staring at the lake. Just some people at school that isn't excited about my existence.

Why didn't you talk to me about that? I can feel that he's feeling betrayed. He probably thinks I don't trust him enough. In fact, I trust nobody but him – it's ironic, huh?

Because I didn't want you to see me so weak, I sigh. Sometimes..., my throat tightens, but I continue, I just want to fall asleep and never wake up. And then, I think of you and I feel horrible for such bad thoughts. I... don't know anymore.

I hear Toothless move and I glare at him. He extends his wing towards me and suddenly, he draws me on his side, closing the other wing around us.

What are you doing?! I demand, confused, my eyes still wet. I wanted to leave so that I can cry alone, but I guess Toothless knew it.

You can cry on me. Nobody will see you, I promise.

Stupid. Don't say such things. I might just break right here and now.

There you go! :) I hope you liked this chapter! I'm sorry again for my bad English, but it's only by practicing that I will improve my writing. :x

Anyway, see you in the next upload! :)

P.-S. Happy new Year in late! ~

P.-P.-S. Thanks again for all the follows, reviews and for those who put this fanfiction in their favorites and also for those who is reading it, you guys are awesome! (This sentence feels awkward to me...)