Grace's POV
I wanted to die. That's what I kept thinking as I was going back home, crying my heart out. I had already suffered because of Eli, and now I was suffering because of August. I mean, Mr Dimitri. Why was my life so screwed up? I had already had to deal with my crush on Eli, and now I had to deal with that. And I know what you're thinking. That girl had a crush on her step-brother? Eww! And now she has a crush on her English teacher? Eww eww! And you're probably right, because that's exactly what I think today. At least for Eli. I mean, I was fifteen, how was I supposed not to be attracted to him? It was different with Mr Dimitri, though. I wasn't prepared for him. I mean, he was my teacher for God's sake! Teachers aren't supposed to be attractive. Still, there was just something about him I couldn't explain...All I knew was that I was in love. And I was seventeen. Was it so bad to hit on him instead of going to the movies? I still blush, just thinking about him. How could I have done that? That's exactly the kind of things you want to forget as you grow older but that's just impossible. Today I still wonder what would have happened if he had said yes. But he didn't, thank God! I can still see his face, completely helpless. I guess it could have been funny if I hadn't completely ridiculed myself. But he didn't make me feel like that at all, and that only made me fall even more in love with him. But I knew I didn't stand a chance. I knew there was something between us but he would never try anything simply because I was a student and he was a teacher.
But as I was going back home, I thought about the next day when I would have to see him and that's when I started telling myself I wanted to die. But how I was feeling right then was nothing compared to what was expecting me at home.
My mom was there, sitting at the kitchen counter, obviously waiting for me.
"How was the movie?" she asked, pretending to sound cool.
But she was nothing but cool. I could see it in the way she looking at me, gripping the counter. And I knew right away that something was wrong.
"You're not in bed?" I asked as I went to take a bottle of water from the fridge.
"I asked you a question," she snapped and I knew it was bad.
She knew. There was no other explanation. But how? God, I was screwed.
"Okay," I answered before making my way to the door, knowing it was hopeless.
"Grace, we need to talk," she said in a cold voice.
There were the words. I hated those words.
"Mom, it's late and I..."
"I don't care. We need to talk right now because if we don't, I'm not going to get any sleep."
I wanted to ask if she thought she could sleep after our talk but I didn't. Instead I took a seat in front of her and waited to get killed.
"I knew what you did tonight," she just said and I could see she was trying not to explode.
"What do you mean?"
It was obvious she knew something but I didn't how much so I chose to play it cool.
"No need to play dumb, Grace. Tad told me."
Tad? What did this moron have to do with this?
"He's in your English class, isn't he?" she asked, seeing the confused look on my face.
And that's when I got it. Tad didn't know about the movie, which meant that nobody did, which meant that it was just me and Mr Dimitri. I really was screwed.
"Before you say anything, I want you to know that nothing happened!" I said quickly, trying not to sound too disappointed.
She didn't say anything, she just closed her eyes, and when she opened them, they were full of tears. I had never seen my mother cry before and I was shocked.
"You hate me?" I asked, feeling my own tears rise.
"No!" my mom answered right away, putting a hand on my arm. "Of course not!"
I let out of sigh of relief. At least that point was cleared.
"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked me in a sad voice.
Or was it tired? I don't know, I was tired too.
"I was afraid you'd freak out," I answered honestly.
She sighed and ran a hand through her air.
"I'm not going to lie to you, Grace, that's exactly how I felt at first. But I thought about it. I thought about it a lot. I talked to Judy, and Rick of course, and both made me open my eyes on how closed minded I was. And I understood one thing. You're my daughter. And all I want is for you to be happy."
I was just speechless. I knew my mom was cool but had just gave me her blessing to be with Mr Dimitri? On Rick's advices? That was a dream, there was not other explanation.
"Are...You're okay with that?" I asked, sure I had heard it all wrong.
"I'm not saying it's going to be easy, but yes, I'm pretty sure I'm okay with this, although I'm going to need some getting used to it."
I just looked at her with my mouth agape. My mom really was the coolest, there was no way denying it now.
"You're awesome," I breathed out.
She chuckled.
"Do you really think I could hate you?" she asked. "I may not be a perfect mother, but I'm not a monster, you know."
All I could do was take her in my arms so that's what I did, for the first time in ages, and I could feel her tears on my cheek. Or were they mine?
"Thanks," I whispered.
"I want you to be happy."
I pulled away and we wiped our tears away, smiling like idiots.
"You know, I'd really like to meet her," she said.
"What?"
"Your girlfriend. I think it would really help me if I'd meet her."
Okay, now I was lost.
"I don't understand," I said, frowning.
"I understand if you don't want to," she said. "I know how secret you are about your love life, but...It would make things more official. And you don't have to worry about the others. Rick already knows, and Eli and Jessie are pretty open-minded. And Zoe has a lesbian friend, so I don't think she'd mind. Although she might ask you a lot of questions...We'll just tell her she's just a friend of..."
"Wait. What?"
"Or do you want to tell her? It's up to you, I don't want to pressure you. Or her. I guess you should ask...What's her name?"
And this is how you're back to the beginning, and even before that. My mom thought I was gay! Was I supposed to laugh or cry? And here I was thinking she was okay with the Mr Dimitri thing!
"Grace? Are you okay?"
What was I supposed to do? I couldn't tell her I wasn't gay after the talk we had. I had just admitted the fact I was hiding something, and if it wasn't me being gay then she would ask me what it was, and there was no way I was going to tell her the truth after that! So I nodded because it was the only thing I could do.
"Good," she said, smiling. "So, I guess you'll see with..."
She wanted a name so I had to think quick.
There was only one openly gay girl at Upton Sinclair High School so I told her her name without even thinking.
"Katie Singer."
I had no idea what I had gotten myself into.