Disclaimer: Yeah…I'm the owner of Harry Potter which is why I'm sitting in front of a computer writing instead of making millions by publishing 871 page books.

Chapter Four: Remus Lupin

Until I met Lily Evans, I didn't have any love in my life. Sure, my parents loved me, but they were ashamed to have a half-breed son. Maybe the Marauders loved me, but maybe they just wanted the chance to run around with a werewolf once a month. But did I have true love like this? No way. I've read about love, a lot about love, actually. What I'm feeling now is exactly how my books describe it; they call it a passion without limits. My love for Lily Evans is, in fact, unlimited. I tell her everything; I even told her about my secret. The secret that makes me hate myself. The secret that keeps me from being accepted; the secret that puts everyone around me in terrible danger. The secret of being a werewolf.

Flashback

"Lily, I think…I think I have something I might need to tell you. If you decide that you never want to be around me, even ever see me again, I'll completely understand. I won't blame you if you do. I wish that I could run away from myself…so I'll be fine when, well if I guess, you leave." I said to her. Her looks were so intriguing; it was hard to find the right words. She looked at me with this expression of understanding; it was painful to see because I knew that she would jump up and disappear the second the word 'werewolf' left my lips. I couldn't bear to look at her.

"Lily, I'm a…I'm a werewolf. Lily you should leave. I won't put you in danger. I know you're terrified and probably disgusted right now…so just leave me." I now saw that tears were running down her face. Despite this, she looked as beautiful as ever.

"Remus," she said. This was it, the part when she told me to never touch her again: "Remus, did you actually think that I would care about something like that? I surely hope that you don't think that I'm that kind of person. How could you ever think that I wouldn't love you because of a horrible thing that happened to you?" As she finished her sentence, she hugged me tightly around the neck.

"The thing that I really don't understand, Remus, is that you are the kindest, sweetest, most compassionate person I know, but you have the most awful condition in the world to live with. The other people that I know that have had horrible childhoods and lives are terrible people who always turn their backs on the world, never seeking attention or friendship, only evil. You're really amazing, Remus. I love you."

Deciding that my excitement gathered up enough courage, I lifted up her head with my hands and kissed her lightly on the lips. I expected her to turn away quickly, but instead she opened up her mouth and started snogging me; right in the middle of the common room! Sure, it was empty, but somebody could've easily walked down to see us. I pulled away; what would happen if I had a cut inside my mouth and she did as well? I could easily pass on the curse of the werewolf to her. That was a risk that I was not willing to take.

She asked me why I stopped kissing her; I told her the truth. She once again hugged me and told me not to worry about it; that I was worth it to her.

"No, Lily, nothing is worth this; especially something like a kiss. I know that we shouldn't even be dating; I'm much too dangerous. Besides; I'm a monster. I don't deserve love. You do…you do more than anyone else. You shouldn't be with me."

"Remus, I love you" she said as she started kissing me again…

End Flashback

I could hardly believe it; Lily Evans accepted me for who I was. She didn't even care about how my immense differences to the world; I was amazed. This changed everything! I was able to take her to the Shrieking Shack, able to tell her all of the stories that James, Sirius, Peter, and I shared, all of the fun memories we've had while running around the grounds, fully transformed.

Then, she made the biggest sacrifice for me; she learned how to transform. She knew that all of us; the Marauders, that is, enjoyed her company. She wanted to be able to run about with us, share those happy memories that we told her of after I admitted my problem to her. She was the most beautiful of all the animals; it is a fact that your personality determines your species. (That fact has always made me very nervous about Peter…a rat?)

Lily turned into a Unicorn; pure white with a coat of brilliant opal. In the moonlight, her coat shimmered and changed into fluorescent colors. Everything changed about her, except for her eyes. They stayed the most amazing shade of green that twinkled when she smiled.

When she'd first told us that, after much practice, she learned to transform into a Unicorn, I thought that she'd keep her beautiful red hair as a coat. I loved her hair, so red and fiery, it looked brilliant in the sun light. I'd always had a bit of a liking of women with bright hair; especially really rare colors. It makes a woman unique, and I suppose I like that.

But when she first transformed for us, the Mother of Pearl sheen that showed when she moved was enough color for me. It turned the most spectacular shade of blue, almost turquoise. If I don't marry Lily Evans; I'll marry a girl with colorful hair. Preferably pink, seeing as it's my favorite. (Are you surprised that everyone thinks I'm a pouf?)

Uch…I must not let myself get so sidetracked; I'm telling a story for goodness sakes! Anyway, Lily and us Marauders ran about every full moon eve. We usually stopped at the Shrieking Shack to get ready for my transformations, but once we were all altered into our animal aliases, we ran into the forest, never slowing down or ceasing to have fun.

Oh my goodness, she's addicting, I can't get her out of my head. I'm so in love with Lily, she's perfect! She's such a complex, beautiful person. She isn't normal; she's not like the average popular girls. She has many friends because she's nice; not because she's mean and rude. She understands everyone; she won't judge a person on what is outside, or even what is inside. Lily looks deeper than that. She looks into your soul, into your past. She's even nice to that awful Snape; she reckons he had a bad childhood and that he's really a good person underneath all of that hatred. I disagree, but there's no contradicting Lily Evans.

She has to be right. She usually is too, that's one of the things I respect about her (especially since I'm one of the people that she figures she's right about. I'm not; I'm a horrible monster, not a good person, though I try my best.) She has an ability that nobody else I know has. She can see the good in people who are not good one little bit. She can look past the horror of a person's family or name (Sirius), condition (me), past (Snape), and horrid annoyingness (James). She can realize how amazing a person is by just talking to them for a few minutes. Lily Evans is blessed, gifted, and beautiful. She is perfect.

I feel so terrible for her; having to be with me. Maybe she does it because she feels sorry for me. Maybe she does it because she's such a nice person. She says she loves me, but how can I believe that? How is it possible that someone so wonderful, so pure, could love somebody like me, a creature of the night, a beast? I don't understand. It's a wonder the Marauders accepted me, but Lily too? It's too much for me, though I'm sure that I'll never let go. I know that if I'm ever without her, I'll be miserable.

A/N: Reviews are love. Please leave me one. Thank you.