Starting Over

Part 4

by

Trycee

Time-Line: 2023, five years after Season 11

Disclaimer: This is written for fun, not for profit.

Belle Haven, Virginia. The Unremarkable House.

"Blond hair?", Mulder questioned.

"It washes out," Jackson said, as he looked at Mulder. "I didn't know where you lived," he stammered. "I followed you when I saw you at the Convention Hall. The last time I saw you or my mother, it was in Norfolk. So, when I saw you, I followed you. I had no idea you'd both would be there."

Mulder glanced over to porch where the red headed child appeared. She waved towards the stranger as she watched him with her father.

Mulder sighed. "Your mother will be so thrilled to see you."

William nodded his head. "It was just a coincidence that we were all there at the same place."

Mulder smiled. "Your mom has worried about you for the past five years. She knew you were alive."

"I know, I can feel her."

Mulder placed a hand on the young man's shoulders but wasn't surprised when Jackson stepped back creating a slight distance. He was tall, just like himself, and freshly shaven and thin as if he'd missed a few meals. "I'm not used to people touching me."

Mulder stared at his son. "I get it. I was on the run for awhile myself. It can be lonely."

Jackson pulled out a cigarette and lit it, much to Mulder's surprise. He puffed on the cancer stick as he glanced occasionally to his sister who was watching him closely.

"Come on, your mom would love to see you."

Jackson glanced down at his feet. "I'm nervous to see her," he confessed. "The last time I saw her, I spoke to her only for a moment."

Mulder patted his back. "She'll be so happy."

Jackson stared again at the door. "I'm not sure I'm ready", he said, glancing up to the porch where Zoe stood, her hand on the door. He stared back into Mulder's eyes.

Mulder stood next to him. He watched as Jackson wrung his hands nervously as he glanced back and forth up to the now empty porch. Mulder could hear Zoe's favorite kid friendly CD blasting from inside the small home. "What do you need to know? You can ask me right now, right here. What do you want to know?"

William stared at Mulder. "That Old man, the one that's after me. The one that shot me in the head."

"He's my father," Mulder said.

William cocked his head to the side and shook his head. "I don't get that. He's your father too?"

"My mother had an affair with him. And my sister and I were born. His children born of a secret affair. I'm sure I don't have to tell you that's he's completely evil."

"So there's a sister too?"

"She's dead. It's a long story."

"So, who was his second born son?", William asked. "He said that to me that night on the docks before he shot me in the head. He said, he had shot his second born."

Mulder turned to look at him. "His legitimate son, Jeffrey Spender. He's still alive. He is the reason you were placed with the Van De Kamps."

William stood in silence, taking it all in. "So, you and my mother..."

"Are married. Been married a long time," Mulder said. "I'm your father, William. I AM Your Father."

Jackson shook his head no. "When I see my father in my mind. It's not you. I'm connected to my father."

Mulder sighed heavily. "He experimented on me. Took pieces of my brain. I never found out exactly what he did, but perhaps that's why you feel connected to him instead of me. But, I AM your father."

"How? How are YOU my father?"

Mulder stared at his son. "We believe he tampered with your mom. We're not exactly sure how he did it. But it was not the first time. We thought we created you naturally. Our miracle child. But, she may have had help. Nevertheless, William, I am your biological father. Your mom has been through hell."

William stared back at Mulder. "I know nothing about either of you."

Mulder shook his head. "Your mom is the strongest person I know. She's gone through more than you can imagine. And all she wanted was you."

Jackson sighed. "My adopted parents were my parents, but I always saw her in my mind. I wasn't always sure why.."

"You're special."

"Special, right.", William huffed. "I can manipulate what people see, I can kill people at will. I can see the future. Yet, I couldn't stop my parents from being murdered. And my life has been destroyed. Yeah, Special. More like cursed."

Mulder sighed. "Your mom has done nothing but worry about you for so long, William."

"Jackson."

Mulder swallowed hard. "I'll try to use the name Jackson, but you will always be William to us. That's what your mom named you."

Jackson looked at Mulder. He could feel a bubbling of unexpected emotions and questions he'd pondered for the past twenty one years. "Why did she give me up then? She said it was to protect me but..."

"Your mother was ALWAYS tried to protect you. There were people coming after you. They tried to kill you. Your mom and your grandmother were hurt. And they kept coming for you. Your mom figured the only way they couldn't come after you was if neither of us knew where you were. That way, you would be safe. It was a heart wrenching decision and one that eats at her daily."

Jackson turned to stare at Mulder. "Where were you?"

Mulder could feel the guilt settle back into his gut. "Lets just say, they got me out of the way so they could come after you and your mom. She did what she thought was right, to keep you safe."

Jackson could see images in his mind of a young Dana Scully holding and singing to him. He sighed. "I know she loves me."

"More than you could possibly know," Mulder added.

"Things in my life were going great as I grew up until those men found me and killed my adopted parents. And now I worry everyday that he's still out there. Still searching for me."

"We had them comb the waters and we never found his body or yours. CGB is hard to kill."

Jackson looked at Mulder. "That's his name? CGB."

"CGB Spender," Mulder added. "Which is an alias in itself. No one knows who he really is."

"I'm tired of running," Jackson said. "My life completely changed that day. I was seventeen years old. My biggest concern was juggling two girlfriends. I wasn't even able to attend the funeral of my adopted parents. I've looked over my shoulders now for so long."

Mulder turned to look at his son. "For several months, I was on the run by myself," he said, thinking about the time he'd fled to the Indian Reservation with Gibson Praise, leaving Scully to care for their newborn son alone. "I've never been lonelier in my life then in that period. I could only imagine the past five years for you."

Jackson glanced back at the stolen car he arrived in. "I'm not really sure why I came," he said more to himself. "I was at the convention to hear Dr. Bryant speak. I wasn't meaning to even find her," he said. "It was a coincidence that you both were there."

"So, you were projecting yourself as someone else, " Mulder said. "That's why we didn't see you. But, I did notice you following us."

"And to think I thought I was good at it."

Mulder stared at his son. "We're former FBI Agents. That's one thing I notice pretty quickly."

Jackson smirked. "I'm more used to running away from people than chasing after them."

Mulder smiled. "I guess it was an enormous surprise to see your mom there at the conference, after all these year."

"I never thought I'd see her again," Jackson said, looking nervously at the front door. He smoothed his hands over his clothes.

Mulder placed his hand on William's shoulder. "Come on in, she needs to see you."

Jackson followed Mulder up the steps, dodging kids toys with every step. Mulder opened the screen door and they walked straight into the living room. Jackson could see into the kitchen where his mother was standing, her back to them as she placed a sandwich on a plate. The small child was seated at the table singing along to her kid friendly songs as Scully danced and mumbled along. Scully turned and dropped the grilled cheese sandwich on the floor. "William!", she said, cupping her mouth. "Oh My GOD, William!"

Jackson stood there, staring at his mother and his sister. Mulder placed a hand on Jackson's shoulder. Scully rushed to him and pulled him down into her arms, holding her son for the first time since she'd given him up. He could feel her shaking in his arms as tears streaked down her cheeks. Jackson could feel the warmth of her small arms surround him for the first time since he was a baby. He held her as she cried into his arms. After an eternity, Scully pulled back and searched her sons eyes as she cupped his face. She hadn't seen the real him since he was a baby. The last time she saw him, five years ago, he appeared as someone else. Scully could see his features. He was older with evidence on his face of a shaved mustache and beard. She could see the dark black roots of his hair peeking through his temporary dye job. She smoothed her hand over the blond locks and wiped at her tears. "My son...", she kept saying. "My son."

Zoe began to sniffle as she watched her mother cry. Mulder quickly grabbed Zoe up from her booster seat and brought her to them both. "Sssh, Mommy's okay. This is your brother Zoe. This is your brother, William"

Zoe stared at the Jackson but turned away from him, resting her head against Mulder's shoulder as he held her. Scully pulled back from William and touched his cheek. He could see the vast swirls of emotions in her eyes as she stared at him, her hand running over his hair as she stood on her tiptoes. "Where've you been?", she gasped. "Where were you? I thought you were dead..."

Jackson glanced down to the floor. "I've been in hiding."

"Hiding from Us? We've only wanted you."

Jackson shook his head. "From that Old Man. I'm pretty sure he's still after me."

Scully turned to look at Mulder. "How? Mulder?"

Jackson answered. "I was at the convention today. I sat behind you."

"I didn't see you but then again, I wouldn't see you, would I?"

"No," he said.

Scully wiped at her tears. "We thought you were dead," she said, staring into his eyes. "But then I felt you. I knew you were alive," she smiled through her tears. "I could feel you. And sometimes, I still share your dreams."

"I know," Jackson stated. "I'm still connected to you."

"The last time we saw you, your father told me we'd lost you," Scully said, as she stared into Jackson's dark eyes.

He sighed heavily. "I thought it was better if I just stayed away."

"You're our son. You belong here with us," she said, almost hysterically. Mulder placed a hand on Scully's shoulder, calming her. "You belong here with us."

Scully gripped Jackson's arm, afraid he would disappear from her if she let him go. She ran her fingers through his dyed hair, noticing that he looked nearly identical to Mulder, even more so now that he was twenty one years old. "You looked like me as a baby but the older you've gotten, the more you look like your father," she smiled.

Jackson looked over to Mulder who was grinning proudly but William glanced down at his feet. His father was a sore subject for him.

"Are you hungry?", Scully asked, still gripping his arm.

"Yeah, I guess I could eat."

Mulder turned to Zoe, watching as she peeked towards her brother. She was still nervously curled up in his arms, but he could tell she was curious about him.

"What's her name?", Jackson asked.

"It's Zoe," Mulder answered.

"How old is she?"

"She's four," Scully smiled. "She's being shy."

Jackson reached out and touched his sisters hand. Zoe turned towards him and stared deep into his eyes. She turned away and clung to her father even tighter. "You know, Zoe. I was a red head when I was little too."

Scully smiled as she watched their oldest child reaching out to their youngest. But Zoe kept her head buried in the crook of Mulder's neck.

"Give her some time," Mulder said. "She's pretty shy until she gets to know you."

William reached out and touched Zoe's arm again. "Hi, Zoe, I'm your brother. I'm Jackson."

Zoe grinned as she turned to look at him, while still clinging safely around her fathers neck.

"Come on," Scully said. "I'll fix you something to eat."

Jackson nodded. "Okay," he said, following Mulder to the kitchen. Mulder placed Zoe into her booster seat and then sat across from his son at the kitchen table. Mulder could see Scully nervously and excitedly whipping around the kitchen, as Zoe turned towards her brother. "Mommy," Zoe said. "He's my brother?"

Scully locked eyes with Mulder and then looked back at their daughter. "Zoe, honey. Mommy and Daddy had your brother first before we had you."

"Is his name William or is it Jackson?", Zoe asked.

"Both," Scully answered. "It's both."

Mulder stood up and placed a hand on top of Scully's and looked down into her eyes. She was a nervous wreak. "Scully! I'll order us some pizza, okay. Calm down. Just come sit down and talk with your son."

Scully turned towards William. Jackson could feel her excitement as well as her fears as Mulder guided her back to the table. "I've imagined this moment so many times," she said, as fresh tears appeared. "So many scenarios."

Jackson nodded his head. "I never knew where you lived. I might've come earlier if I had."

Mulder grabbed his cellphone and ordered the pizzas. "Where did you run?", Mulder asked his son.

Jackson sat back in the chair. "Everywhere really. California, Montana, Florida...wherever I could," he said. "I've been looking over my shoulder since I was seventeen. My entire life has been underground."

"You can't run forever."

"I really don't have much of a choice right now," Jackson said.

"Maybe we can help with that."

"I don't see how," Jackson said, shaking his head. "I don't see how you can make a difference."

Mulder stared into his son's eyes. "We have connections. People that have helped us when we needed it. People connected to our deceased friends called The Lone Gunmen. They'll help us."

Scully reached out and grasped William's hand. "I'm so happy. I...can't believe you're here. I hope you'll stay."

Jackson smiled at her. "I don't know about that..."

Zoe was curious. "Why is your name Jackson William or William Jackson?"

Jackson chuckled. "I see you're pretty intelligent."

Zoe grabbed her doll and shove it into William's face."This is Mrs. Tolbert."

Jackson nodded towards the doll. "Hi, Mrs. Tolbert."

Zoe continued to watch him out the corner of her eye as she played with her doll. There was a knock on the door and Jackson jumped up nervously. Mulder held out his hand as he stood up. "The pizza place is down the road. Ever since they set up shop, we've been their best customer."

Scully watched Mulder open the door and retrieve the pizza's. She turned her attention back to her son. "I'm so grateful to be sitting here with you," she sighed. "I can't tell you what this means to me."

Jackson nodded his head. "You know, I know nothing about you."

Scully looked surprised. "Well, I'm an open book," Scully said. "Whatever you need to know, just ask."

Mulder returned to the table and grabbed up a few plates. He placed the steaming hot pizzas on the table. Mulder placed a piece on Zoe's pink toddler plate. She eagerly began to eat until Scully cleared her throat, glaring at their daughter. Zoe looked embarrassed before dropping the piece and wiping her hands on her napkin. Both Scully and Zoe said their blessing and made the sign of the cross before Scully glanced up, noticing that like Mulder, William had not joined in.

"I wasn't raised Catholic," Jackson added.

"How did you find us?", Scully questioned. "And why did you run from us?", she asked, the question that was pressing on her heart for the past five years.

Jackson tapped his finger against the table. "A lot of things were happening at the time. I was accused of killing my parents. I did kill those people that came after me. I had to leave both of my girlfriends behind, my best friends. My only friends. I realized that by using my powers, they could find me. And then there you were," he said, looking at Scully. "And then that Old man, my father, had shot me in the head."

Scully looked stunned. "He's your father," she said pointing to Mulder. "Wait. Who did you think was your father?"

"I see the Old Man in my mind. He's my father."

Scully shook her head. "No. Fox William Mulder is your father."

Mulder stood up and retreated to his office. He returned with a piece of paper in his hands. He gave it to Jackson.

Jackson read and reread the paternity results and looked up at Mulder. "All this time, I was trying to figure out why you thought you were my father and how exactly was that bastard my father," he said, looking at Scully. "I'm relieved that he isn't."

Mulder pointed to the paper. "CGB did play a role in your creation but I am your biological father."

"Your father and I have been together for thirty years."

"Not all of it intimate," Mulder whispered.

"But on every other level, we've been together," Scully added. "There was no one else but the two of us. You were created out of love."

William sighed. "No matter how old you are, you still don't want to hear about your parents...you know."

Scully and Mulder both smirked.

Jacksons sighed. "That old man, is he still out there? Is he still looking for me? How long will I have to run?"

Scully looked at Mulder. "CGB won't die, will he?"

"No, he won't. But he can be defeated, Scully."

"We've spent our entire lives fighting against him and now our son is spending his life fighting him too," she said, angrily.

"No offense, " William said, placing a slice of pizza to his lips. "But, you can't fight him. Only I can. And what I want," he said, stuffing his mouth with pepperoni pizza. "Is to not be found."

Mulder glanced at Scully and then back to William. "How have you avoided being found?"

"I move around in circles no one notices, disguising myself as homeless veterans mostly. No one pays attention to them."

Mulder noticed that Scully was too nervous to eat. He sighed. "I wasn't supposed to even speak at this convention today. I was invited last minute. I guess someone is watching out for us."

Scully reached out and squeezed her son's hand. "I hope you'll stay with us William?", she said, looking from him to his sister.

"I can probably stay just a few days. I don't want to put you in danger."

Scully touched William's shoulder. "Maybe he's not looking. He's left us alone for the past five years and believe me, he would've made himself known."

"If he's out there," Jackson said. "He'll find me here and hurt you and I can't have that."

Zoe placed her doll down. "Brother, will you play with me?"

William smiled. "Yeah, I'll play with you. What can we play?"

Zoe pushed her chair back and then jumped out of from her booster seat. "Cars!", she said, running towards her toybox.

Mulder and Scully watched as Zoe pulled out every toy in her toy box until she had reached the set of cars. She placed the plastic cars on the floor and ushered her brother over. Scully could tell that William hadn't had a good meal in a long while. He was tall and thin which concerned her. William scarfed his food down quickly and then sat with his sister against the couch.

Scully watched as Mulder picked up the rest of the toys, returning them to the box. Mulder followed them to the sofa in front of them as Scully retreated to their bedroom. She returned with a stack of photos. "This is from your house, with the Van De Kamps."

William scanned through the photos and came to the one where he was dressed in his baseball uniform and hat. His hair was beginning to transition from red to black in the photo. He glanced at his sister who was playing around him, crashing cars into each other.

Scully smiled. "You look a lot alike especially then. You and Zoe."

"She's not like me, is she?", he said. "She's normal, right?"

Scully squatted on the floor next to them. "Yeah, she's perfectly fine."

William touched his mother's arm. "I know you've worried about me. No, I haven't had a good meal in a long time. And no, I don't sleep much. It's not something I can afford to do. I know you love me. But, after this visit, I won't be found again. You'll have to let me go."

Scully shook her head. "I'm your mother, William. That's impossible. There's no way I can let you go. Not ever again."

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